Why am I still here?

So there I was looking at the beautiful Mrs. Field over dinner, and telling her what a wonderful ride it has been. It was about fifteen minutes to six, so we only had a little time left together. I was sure that we wouldn't be seeing each other ever again, because, quite frankly, we were going to different places.

Anywhoo, the waiter came and I thanked him for a wonderful meal. The joint was kind of high end, but what the hell, I wasn't going to pay for it.

We waited... and waited......and when the clock finally struck six I squeezed her hand and.....nothing. The waiter was standing over us with a check and asking us if we enjoyed our meal. I told him "Yes, but I never expected to pay for it". "We prepared some[checks] just in case." A wise guy, huh. Let's see how you like it with no tip. "Field, you better not stiff that man on the tip". (This is why she would have been heading up in the rapture and I would have been packing my warm weather clothes.

"Thank you folks, please come again."

I am still here, and if you are reading this, so are you. That's the good news. The bad news is, of course, that you could be gone tomorrow and that s&*^ isn't planned or predicted. One minute you are driving down the highway and.....Pow! You go all Randy Savage into an immovable object. Poor Randy, I bet he was laughing at the Judgement Day "Kooks" just like we were.

But you know who I feel sorry for in all of this? My man Harold. Apparently he has been missing since the clock struck six and there was no destruction to show for it. --Well, except for that Volcano in Iceland. I hope he doesn't take this too hard. Folks have been wrong about this kind of stuff before. I hear that his followers are devastated (see Obamaholics, you are not alone), and they are pretty much in a major depression mode over what to do next.

I guess Harold could go back to the good book and revise his notes. But he has to be careful, the big guy has a cruel sense of humor. It's been lord knows who long and we are all still waiting around.

I know one person in A-merry-ca who wishes that that the world did end at six o clock today. That would be one Newt Gingrich. After the week he had last week I even started feeling sorry for him... Not!

Anyway, it's a good thing that he has handlers around him who can fight back and let the haters have it.

"The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding," ..... "Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world."

The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness,....They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment's cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods......

Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked,....A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won't be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces." [Source]

Why couldn't the rapture just take some people?