Monday, March 07, 2016

"Veep"

Image result for running mate imagesNow that Donald trump is firmly on his way to becoming the republican nominee for president of these divided states of America, it might be time for him to start looking for a running mate.

Just in case any of Donald's peeps are reading this blog, I would like to make a few suggestions.

1. Charles Barkley-Pros: Charles would help Donald with the male African American vote. Chuck also has a high profile because of his past professional sporting life, and he spends a lot of time on ESPN, so this might help trump with the white male vote as well. Also, like the man that he would be running with, Charles is known for speaking his mind. Cons: Sometimes Charles tends to speak first and think later, and he is from a state (Alabama) that trump is already going to win, so it might not necessarily be a good strategic move for trump to pick Sir Charles.

2. Paula Deen-Pros: I think they have shared views about "the blacks". Trump will also more than likely be running against Hillary, so having a woman on his ticket will help with the female vote. Cons: Their shared views about "the blacks", and Paula Deen's age. (I know she is only 69, but she can't be healthy with all that fried food that she likes to cook.)

3. Clint Eastwood- Pros: This pick would reinforce trump's tough guy straight talking cred with his base, and it might help get him votes in California with all its electoral college votes. Cons: A real debate opponent might give Clint some problems. Just a few years ago we saw him struggle with a chair.

4. Sarah Palin-Pros: Nothing gets a certain type of republican fired up like the name Sarah Palin. Cons: It's Sarah Palin.

5. Caitlyn Jenner- Pros: Let's face it, this pick would help show America that republicans can be progressive when it comes to social issues. Also, Caitlyn dislikes Hillary and is a strong conservative. Cons: Trump supporters might give her a hard time when they campaign together in the bible belt, and trump's jealousy of her hair might prevent him from warming up to her.  

6.  Megyn Kelly- Pros: He would be showing FOX viewers that he values their vote, and he would be showing America that he is not as petty as he seemed earlier in the campaign season. Cons: He would spend too much time on the campaign trail trying to hit on her.     

7.  Peyton Manning- Pros: He is out of football now so he has some time on his hand. Also, he would definitely help in the swing state of Colorado. Cons: Peyton would probably want to be the one calling al the shots, and this would definitely not sit well with trump. ("Peyton, I am not one of your dumb offensive linemen".)

8. Stacey Dash- Pros: She is a black female, so trump could claim that his campaign is inclusive. Cons: She is Stacey Dash.

9. Ted Nugent- Pros: Ted would really fire up trump's base and get them to the polls. Cons: Ted would really fire up blacks folks and get them to the polls.

10. Donald Trump- Pros: No one loves trump as much as trump, and not choosing a running mate would send a signal to the country that he can do it all alone. Cons: The members of the  electoral college would choose one for him, and there is no telling who they would select.  

*Pic from washingtonpost.com

34 comments:

Yīshēng said...

Ah d*mn Field, ROTFL!!!

Anonymous said...

He already made his pick for VP - Hulk Hogan.

Anonymous said...

In order to reach a wider, more *diverse* demographic, Donald needs to pick someone who is both black AND gay. I nominate ....

FIELD NEGRO!!!!

Yes, the gayest black blogger on the Web (it's SO obvious, Honey). Field would make a FABULOUS veep.

PilotX said...

David Duke. He's always had aspirations of higher office.

The Ministry of Truth said...

I'm pretty sure it's not gonna be Megyn Kelly or Charles Barkley, because both of them despise Trump. In fact, Trump is so horrible, he motivated Charles to speak out on racism. You don't see that every day. And Megyn is a PMSing bitch, according to the king of the combovers, who doesn't allow women to have bodily functions in his presence.

There's also no way it'll be Caitlyn Jenner, because she's a staunch Ted Cruz supporter. It's only sensible for her to support Bible-basher Cruz, because we all know how much the evangelicals love the transexuals ... wait, hang on a minute, no they don't. So WTF is up with that? Well, apparently, Caitlyn thinks she can change old Ted's mind on the whole LGBT thing. Hahaha. And they say that Bernie Sanders supporters are naive and overly idealistic.

Peyton and Clint seem like they're probably Rubio men.

Paula Deen is trying her damnedest to run away from the lingering stigma of "N-Bomb-Gate." And Trump doesn't really need any help lining up Southern redneck voters anyway. Mysteriously, they love him already. Hmmm, I wonder what it is about him that could possibly appeal to them so much? I can Nazi what it might be.

Nominating Sarah Palin already helped one presidential candidate lose an election, so I doubt she'll get a second shot.

Ted Nugent clearly won't work, because he is one of the few people on Earth who is actually more offensive than Trump. Nugent is human slime. The Donald doesn't like anyone stealing his glory, so he couldn't tolerate sharing a stage with someone who would out-asshole him.

So that leaves Stacey Dash. Trump can use her as (worthless, phony) evidence of how much "the blacks" love him, and she won't talk back when he talks about how nice her cans are and how much he'd like to bone her. That's the way Trump talks about his daughter, so I'm sure he'd like the opportunity to likewise perv on his veep as well. Hell, maybe she'll even campaign with him in a bikini.

Yup, Stacey's perfect.

Anonymous said...

MoT takes things way to seriously.

Man, that guy is a fag.

Anonymous said...

DIGITAL BLACKFACE ALERT!!! DIGITAL BLACKFACE ALERT!!!

BOOP-BEEP! BOOP-BEEP! BOOP-BEEP!

NEE-NOO! NEE-NOO! NEE-NOO!

Anonymous said...

The sad part is you monkeys think the election circus is actually real ....

Anonymous said...

As a black man and a Broncos fan, I would nominate Peyton!

dinthebeast said...

What about Condi? Don't they have Condi-veep rumors every time? Why not this time? The idea isn't any less crazy or stupid than it was last time.

-Doug in Oakland

lilacpr2000 said...

Anonymous said...

The sad part is you monkeys think the election circus is actually real ....

11:39 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOTALLY F****** AGREE WIT DAT BRO!!!!

We be gettin' played and we don't even realize it!

Well...some of youse anyway...Dems and Repubs? two wings on the same bird babays!

lilacpr2000 said...

But,yeah the post is funny Field! Those choices ha!

Me, personally I think maybe Condi would be purrfect! That woman has balls of steel!! As for a dik, hell yeah that too!

No, actually I think Melania should be the vice, because Melania is quite good with words, she's not just beautiful, she's smart too.

But you know what the best part of all this would be?

That the ex's Ivanya and Marlena would be chiming in too! I just know it. They'd call him and say " I think you should do this, or do the other", you know that type of thing. And that would be good because we all know that women are smarter, and he's a sucker for a pretty woman!

So, don't worry guys, it'll be okay. You'll see, you'll see...

lilacpr2000 said...

and by the way, another thing that I really like about trump is that he looks like he's a very good husband. Very protective.

He listens to women 'cos I've seen it in him, and that's always good.

I know,I know...he's had three marriages and all,but people fall out of love ya know, it has nothing to do with that he is a good husband and provider with whomever he marries. Just saying...

Pukey Donaldson said...

lilac, why aren't you supporting Cruz or Rubio? You're basically one of them.

Make America Great Again said...

This was weak. One thing fo sho, who ever Donald J. Trump chooses he/she will be more qualified than anyone hilla the hun chooses.

Anonymous said...

Not so fast on Trump's lock on the nomination. It looks like Rubio is gaining on Trump in the Florida polls. Cruz has picked up some steam, too.

Hillary is not a lock either, though likely will be the nominee. If Sanders supporters show up at the polls he could win the whiter state primaries coming up, but he has mostly lazy youngsters as his base. Will they put down their apple phones and video games and go vote?

VP will be very important role if Trump is elected. He needs a politician to navigate Washington. Who would risk his/her future political career being his running mate?

The Ministry of Truth said...

"Not so fast on Trump's lock on the nomination. It looks like Rubio is gaining on Trump in the Florida polls. Cruz has picked up some steam, too."

Trump's still 15-20 points ahead in Florida.

And Ted Cruz has just decided to dump a bunch of money into his Florida campaign. Does Cruz think he can win that state? No. He is doing it expressly to screw over Rubio. The objective is to drive Rubio out of the race, thereby forcing establishment support to back Cruz. (Faced with the unpleasant choice of backing either Trump or Cruz, the GOP establishment will start looking for the tallest bridge they can jump off.)

"Hillary is not a lock either, though likely will be the nominee. If Sanders supporters show up at the polls he could win the whiter state primaries coming up, but he has mostly lazy youngsters as his base. Will they put down their apple phones and video games and go vote?"

Bernie's problem isn't that young people won't put down their Apple phones. His problem is that older black and Latino voters don't know who he is. The latter groups don't obsessively follow politics, and have especially low levels of trust in politicians. These voters have to be wooed. The politician has to do outreach and extensively meet with these constituencies, and build up a network of black and Latino surrogates who will "hype" him. The mountain will not come to Mohammed; Mohammed must go to the mountain.

In fairness, Bernie did not know this, having never run a nationwide campaign, only statewide campaigns in a very white state. Now he knows, but it's too late for him. Hillary has a big head start on him with these voters and he doesn't have enough time in the race to sell himself before she clinches the nomination.

VP will be very important role if Trump is elected. He needs a politician to navigate Washington. Who would risk his/her future political career being his running mate?

Based on the fact Chris Christie sold out any principles he had left and gave the Trumpster Fire his endorsement, I'm thinking it might be him. It could be that Christie is willing to risk his future political career by taking the VP slot, because Christie doesn't have much of a future political career anyway. He's been a disaster as governor, wrecking his state's finances and having his underlings engage in gross abuses of power, and New Jersey voters increasingly hate him. Throwing in with Trump looks like the last act of a desperate man.

Anonymous said...

I mourn the death of First Lady Nancy Reagan, who was Very Special to me...

- Mr. T (@MrT) March 7, 2016


http://thefederalist.com/2016/03/07/mr-t-says-goodbye-to-nancy-reagan-with-sweet-tweets/?platform=hootsuite

Lance Cockstrong said...

I just hope whomever butttrumpf picks has a nice tight butt.

lilacpr2000 said...

Happy International Women's Day to all of the women on here!

Have a blessed and happy life!

BTW, still waiting to see which of the candidates remembers to issue a word of praise, thanks, to us women on this our day!

So far...crickets...

Anonymous said...

Nancy Reagan sold crack to inner city school children.

anotherbozo said...

Field, this is one of your best posts yet! Comedy gold. You realize being quoted on the Daily or Nightly Shows or Full Frontal could boost your readership into the stratosphere? Devoutly to be wished, unless it slows my download.

Paula Deen, for Chrissakes! ROTFLMAO!

Pukey Donaldson said...

lilac, shut the fuck up you stupid bitch. Nobody here cares about your shit holiday. You're not even a good woman anyway.

If only... said...

"Nancy Reagan sold crack to inner city school children."

So true. If not for Nancy Reagan, inner city black neighborhoods today would be free of drugs and crime, and would be viable, thriving places of strong community and economic opportunity. Unified areas where the residents improved their property and respected the property rights of others. Safe and well-kept places where people looked out for one another and made sure their children grew up in a good environment with decent schools.

All shattered by the unfathomable malice of one woman.

The Purple Cow said...

Interesting article in Jacobin on building social democracy in America.

Despite the fact that Sanders has not done well among African American voters so far (though he has done much better with Latinos than he has been given credit for) research shows that African American Democrats are well to the political Left of White Liberals - particularly on economic issues.

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/03/bernie-sanders-black-voters-firewall-primary/

Anonymous said...

Black Democrats are also well to the right of white liberals on social issues.

Anonymous said...

"research shows that African American Democrats are well to the political Left of White Liberals - particularly on economic issues."

Bullshit. Blacks care nothing for liberal tenets like "equality" or "fairness" beyond how it gets them more gibs.

Only white people are foolish enough to believe in principles that run counter to their own interests.

Blacks are not liberals.

Anonymous said...

LOL, Yisheng. You censor the word "damn?" Seriously? You are one simple-minded bitch.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, when have blacks ever stood up for anyone other than themselves?

Anonymous said...

Yisheng = nigger

Anonymous said...

"Well, apparently, Caitlyn thinks she can change old Ted's mind on the whole LGBT thing."

It is kind of weird, just like Log Cabin Repubs. Self hate?

PX

Anonymous said...

"Seriously, when have blacks ever stood up for anyone other than themselves?"

If you had any sense of self preservation you had better have stuck together. Why is blah unity such a bad thing especially when so many are trying to tear us down? Why do white racists have such a problem with us actually liking each other? I guess we can always go back to the old saying about it being a blah thing and youse guys not understanding (shrug).

Anonymous said...

Field Negro isn't gay. but even he would be tempted if he were to see the wonderfully corpulent nude body of Chris Christie.

MODERN HOUSES said...

Uauh !
What president!!!