Looking for Love!

Ahhhh another day out in the fields, and the field negro is trying to catch some down time. As usual, I head over by the house to see if massa has thrown out his news paper so I can catch up on my reading. To my dismay, massa has only thrown out the classified section.-it seems he gave the rest of the paper to the house Negroes. Oh well, the field will make do with what he has.

Let's see now......oh, what do we have here? It's the dating section of the classifieds.
This might be kind of interesting, let's take a look.

SBF seeks SWM or SWF: Must be educated, have a love for Alabama football, as well as world affairs and politics. I have a hectic work schedule so my ideal mate must be very flexible and understanding. I also love to shop for shoes, and play the piano, so my mate must have patience and an appreciation for the fine arts.
If interested, please call Condi at ***-***-****

SBF seeks SWM for love and companionship : He must be a christian, and have a deep and profound love for God almighty. He must understand that God is the center of our universe and he will cure all the evils of the world. Including, with our prayers, changing the pigmentation of my skin someday. So my mate must understand, that although I am a BF now, hopefully, I won't always be this way, and one day, I will be as pure as the driven snow. Free from the sin and curse of being black that I was unfortunately born with.
If interested, please call La Shawn at ***-***-****

SBM seeks SWF: Must be tall athletic, and love the blues. After all, I from Memphis, and we love the blues and barbeque's there. My ideal mate must love people of all races, and be good with children. As I plan to have many. She must be patient and understanding, as I do not plan to get married until after November, 2006.
If interested, please call Harold at ***-***-****

MWM seeks SBF,SWF,MBF,MWF,SLF,MLF....you name it: Needed for tryst. Must be discreet as well as willing to travel, and meet new and interesting people.
If interested, please call Bill at ***-***-****

SBF seeks SBM for possible life time commitment: Must be loving,caring, and not wasteful with money. Must be dark handsome, and articulate. (I tried light didn't like it) My ideal mate does not have to have any previous work experience as he will be a stay at home husband. He must be understanding and be able to deal with the demands of my career. He must also be scandal free, with no illegitimate children, and willing to sign a prenup. An appreciation for reading would also be nice.
If interested, please call Oprah at ***-***-****

SBF seeks SBF for love and companionship: She must be patient, willing to listen, and most of all be drug free. Size, weight, and looks do not matter.
If interested, please call Whitney at ***-***-****

S?? seeks YWB or YBB for cuddling,and play: Cannot be older than ten and must be willing to travel to the Middle East. Must also enjoy cartoons, music, and old black and white films.
If interested,please call Michael at ***-***-****

SBM seeks SWF for love and companionship: My ideal mate must be blond, athletic, and have a great figure. She must be able to deal with my mood swings, and my volatile personality. She must be strong willed with a mind of her own, and not be swayed by what others might say. I like a woman that doesn't look back, but sees only the future and its possibilities.
If interested, please call OJ at ***-***-****

Wow, I never knew that there were so many lonely hearts out there. Well, the field sure hopes that they all find their ideal mates soon. Maybe if they came to the fields and looked around a little they would find that special someone. Mmmmm, that Oprah sure seemed nice. Maybe the field will give her a call. I don't mind a prenup.