Wednesday, February 28, 2007

You can't pursue happiness if you are sick


George Bush killed a little boy on Sunday. Now before you go saying, field, you are giving in to too much hyperbole, consider the following. On Sunday little Deamante Driver, a twelve year old in Maryland, died from a fu****g toothache. Yes folks you heard me. A toothache! It seems that bacteria from his abscess seeped into his brain, and not even two operations, and six weeks in the hospital could save him.

Unfortunately, the poor fellows mother didn't have proper health insurance. If she did, it would have cost her insurance company about$250,000 for Deamante's care. Now his mother did have Medicare at one time, but unfortunately, her plan lapsed. Now stop me if you haven't heard this one before: The poor lady worked many odd jobs, including cleaning up after old white people,( also known as a home health care worker) and of course, like so many other companies in America, her company didn't offer her medical coverage. To many American workers, the thought of not having medical coverage for their family is unthinkable, but guess what, there are over forty five million of your fellow Americans who have no medical coverage. And sadly, Deamante's mother was one of those individuals.

Ironically, Prince Georges County Maryland is supposed to be in one of the more affluent areas in the country for African Americans, but consider, only a third of the children in Maryland's Medicare program have dental coverage. And before you go ripping Maryland, it's important to note that only 29% of the District's children are covered, and only 24.3% of children in that great state that just apologized for slavery, Virginia, are covered as well. So it would seem that Deamante's situation was not such an anomaly after all. This tragic incident could have happened to damn near any little boy in any state of the union whose family doesn't have proper health coverage.

So back to George Bush. "George Bush doesn't care about black people" No Kanye, George Bush doesn't care about black people, poor people, old people, or young people. George Bush didn't kill Deamante by running over him with the presidential limo, or boring him to death with one of his muddling speeches. No, he killed him by failing to address the growing health care crisis in this country, and dumping what will end up being a trillion dollars into a war to free a God forsaken country half way around the world. All the while he and his cronies -yes bad perm lady you too- turns away while here in America children die from a fu****g toothache.

We live in a country of course that is the only one that bases health care on employment. So unless you have a good job, you are basically screwed. I am not a big Hillary supporter, but a few years ago girlfriend was a visionary when it comes to this health care crisis. Hey, at least she had the guts to take on this issue head on, and try to bring about a universal health care plan for this country. Of course, she went as far as the insurance industry lobbyist, and the rethuglicans would let her. They fought back, and before you knew it, girlfriend was a pariah in her own country. Now the Arnold out in California, and the folks in Georgia are all calling for universal health coverage in their states. Not to mention rethuglican candidate,Mitt Romney, now touts his universal health care plan for Massachusetts while he runs for president. So now everyone is on board. Even the business community is on board because they even realize that we have a health care crisis on our hands. "Our soaring health care costs put American goods and services at a significant competitive disadvantage..." So says John J. Castellani, president of The Business Roundtable. Yeah right! You are about ten years too fu****g late Mr. Castellani. According to Karen Ignagni, president of America Health Insurance Plans, what it took to fund this war could be used to extend health care to every three and four year old uninsured in this country, to vaccinate all the children of the world against all deceases, and still you would have half the money left over to fight a war.

But instead of trying to formulate a sound health care policy, George and the neocons chose war, and they chose it over providing for the most vulnerable among us. If you really want to "protect the American people" George, you might want to start by making sure they all have proper health care, and at least access to it, instead of getting a hard on every time you see a picture of a fu****g Humvee.

So yes I will stick by my original statement. That little boy in Maryland died because of a country and a government that failed him and his family. And the last time I checked, the leader of that country and its government is George W. Bush.

Oh before I go, I just saw on the FAKE NEWS NETWORK, a brother that I will definitely have on my coon list the next time it comes out. His name is Erik Rush, and apparently he wrote an article accusing Barack Obama of being a separatist and belonging to a separatist church. Just what the FAKE NEWS NETWORK wanted, and they found their house negro (Mr. Rush) to deliver the message. Now as I have said many times before, I am still not sure about Obama, and I am still on the fence with him. But if the half and half man is a separatist, well then I am a fu****g Mau Mau Fighter.

And one more thing, let's keep the story of Lavena Johnson front and center. This poor heroes family deserves some answers as to how she died in Iraq.

I'm out.

Monday, February 26, 2007

DREAM OF FIELDS

Well folks it's been a very hard work day once again in the fields. The work week is just starting, and the field negro is feeling a bit tired already. I think I am going to catch a little shut eye before massa puts me to work again. Ahhh, I see a nice cool out of the way spot right over here. I think I will just kick off my shoes and take a little nap. Yesss, this feels great, nothing like a little rest at the of the da... ZZzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz

"Field! Wake up honey, you have to get the kids off to school." Oh hi Lark, I am sorry honey I must have dozed off. Are the kids ready? "They sure are field, and I signed Field Juniors homework card because he did all his homework last night. He even used that new online dictionary, Negropedia, for some of his resources." Well good for him, I sure like this public school system we have little field in, he is making straight A's and learning so much in school. "I know field, and how about the wonderful diverse play mates he brings home to play with. This must have been what Martin Luther King was talking about in his speech. 'Little white kids and black kids getting along together so well'."Rrrrrrring rrring."Field, it's for you honey." Thanks dear. Hello? Yes, this is the field, I did? Well that's great news, thank you again Bob. So let me get this straight: All I have to do is come to the bank and sign the agreement and I can get the start up money for my new business? No; THANK YOU Bob. Honey did you hear that? I was approved by the bank for that $50,000 loan to start our little business. They said they liked my plan so much that they just couldn't pass it up. No credit check or anything. This calls for a celebration. Honey do we still have some of that steak in the refrigerator that our neighbors, the O'Malley's, brought us when we moved in? I think I will cook that bad boy tonight. Come on kids, jump in the car, daddy will take you to school today. I get tired of the poor school bus driver having to wait for you guys. Let's see what's on the radio while we drive: And in the news today, President Bush admitted he was wrong about the Iraq war, and has called for immediate withdrawal of American troops. Also, many of those same troops will be deployed to Darfur to join other American troops who are already on the ground there helping to root out the Sudanese government and protecting the refugees on the ground. Also in the news today, FOX NEWS CHANNEL is reporting some negative news about the Bush administration and the republicans in congress, as well as the deplorable conditions at Walter Reed Army Hospital. And on the local front, good news again this weekend, because for the third weekend in a row there were no murders here in Philadelphia. The Police Chief is crediting good police work, stricter gun laws, and money being sent from Washington to fund after school athletic programs which are keeping allot of young men off the streets and involved with various activities. OK kids you are here. Have a good day at school, and say hello to your math teacher, Mr. Johnson, for me. OK let's see now I have to get some gas, my tank is almost on half. I will just get it here at this AMERICAN OIL gas station, but the gas is so high here-$1 a gallon-but that's alright, I will support America and buy American. I gotta get a paper too, I want to read about Condi Rice, Karl Rove, and Dick Cheyney resigning. And maybe I will run by the grocery store and pick up some wine to celebrate getting that loan. Honey I am home! "Hi sweetie, did the kids make it off alright? "They sure did honey, and now I have to get ready for work. Lark don't you ever miss Hollywood and being Lark Voorhies? "No honey, of course not, I am content just being Mrs. Field Negro." Wow I am the luckiest guy on earth. "And honey." Yes Lark. "Don't forget you have that citizens forum tonight with the mayor, our congressmen, and our senators. Remember how you enjoyed the last one?" Yeah, I sure do, I think it's so nice of them to meet with the citizens at least twice a year to get some ideas from us."Alright honey I am going to take a shower now." Do you want some company? After all, I don't have to go to work. "Oh field, you are so romantic" Now that's what I am talking about...

FIELD, FIELD! Wake your ass up! I caught you sleeping on the job again! No massa, I was just relaxing a little, and thinking about my chores. ~~ Oh well, that was a nice dream while it lasted. I knew all that sh*t was too good to be true. Now I guess it's back to reality, and the real America~~~

**On a more serious note: I would like to give a big hat tip to my man, The Angry Independent, for turning me on to the story of Army Private Lavena Johnson. Folks, if you have been inundated with news about Brittany's bald ass head, and Anna Nicole's fast decaying body, you probably have not heard the tragic story of this brave young soldier; who sadly, was killed in Iraq recently. The Army calls it a suicide, her family says otherwise. Check out my man Angry Independent's site and decide for yourself. Believe me folks, if we don't, no one else will.

I'm out.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Apology Not Accepted


I would like to start this post by apologizing to my college roommate,Devon, for that prank that caused him to be stuck damn near all night on a lonely road in the middle of Alabama. I would also like to apologize to my sister for stealing her magazines from her bedroom when we were growing up.

Wow, that actually felt kind of good, to be able to get past transgressions off of my chest in a public way. I think one day I will dedicate an entire post to people I have wronged in the past, and like my man Earl, I will spend the entire post telling each and every one of them that I am sorry.

This seems to be what law makers in that great Commonwealth of Virginia did recently. They voted unanimously in both houses in the former capital of the confederacy, (96-0 and 40-0) to apologize for Virginia's role in enslaving African Americans, and their regrets for the exploitation of Native Americans. Well good for them, that must have been so cathartic for my friends from the Commonwealth. I can just hear the African Americans across that state now: "Isn't this great they are really sorry for what they did to our people. I am so glad I live in Virginia"

Well not so fast. See folks, it's like this. My friend Devon is still alive, and he will read this blog and realize that I was the SOB that set him up that night. My sister is still alive, and she will read this blog and realize that I was the SOB that kept stealing her magazines. She, along with Devon, will read my apology, and realize that I am sorry. Unfortunately, the apology to my ancestors is about 400 years too f*****g late. Sorry, I am not one of these black folks who is going to jump for joy over an apology. They needed to be apologizing to the people that had to endure the slave masters whips, and the dehumanization, and exploitation of their families. I will be fine, their apologies don't mean a damn thing to me, because a bunch of state elected officials in Virginia-including 80 year old Frank D. Hargrove, who told black folks in Virginia to" get over slavery"-won't affect my life one way or the other. And I suspect, it won't affect any of the black people living in Virginia either.

If you really want to apologize, you might ant to give every African American high school kid in Virginia who graduates high school with a "B" average and scores at least 1,000 on the SAT, a guaranteed four year scholarship to a public University in that state. You might want to give every black person in Virginia shares of stock in Virginia Companies like Phillip Morris, and Ameri -Group. Or, you might want to name a couple of buildings on the campus of UVA after Thomas Jefferson's mistress, Sally Hemmings. That would be a start. And then you can follow all of that up by tearing down those mother fu****g confederate statutes in the middle of Richmond. That's how you could apologize to the field. I am sure my dead ancestors would appreciate that a whole lot more than your fu****g resolutions and proclamations.

I mean your resolutions sure sounds nice: [Government sanctioned] "slavery ranks as the most horrendous of all depredations of our founding ideals of our nation's history..." blah, blah,blah. But it's the white people of James Town way back in 1619 who should have been feeling this way. Somehow 400 years later it just doesn't mean s**t , unless you can back it up with something meaningful that black people can benefit from.

So sorry folks, if the field was in the Virginia state house the vote would have been 95-1. Because I will be damn if I give those mother fu****s the pleasure of clearing their conscience at the expense of my vote. Nope, they will have to live with what they did to my people. Apology not accepted.

Now I hear that Missouri is considering a similar measure, and who knows which state will be next. Please, let's stop the charade right now. Sometimes sorry is just not enough, not when the people you should have told it to are no longer here to accept it.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Condi In The Fields


Everyone knows that the field is a serious journalist. That's right the field is not just another angry black man who is always ranting on his blog to a few of his closest friends. No folks, from time to time the field gets the serious interview. He has interviewed the President, and the former Secretary of State. So is it any surprise that our current Secretary of State decided to pay the field a visit out here in the fields? Heck I feel like Barbara Walters and Ed Bradley all rolled into one.

Anyway here is how our little chat went down:

FN: Madam Secretary, welcome to the fields. I am glad you decided to grant me this interview, I know I have been tough on you in the past...
CR: No problem field, I understand that you have your frustrations particularly with the war effort and how it's going.
FN: Let me say before we even get started that you are much more attractive in person, and I apologize for calling you the "bad perm lady" in the past. I hope that didn't sound too sexist.
CR: No field not at all, in fact, I am quite flattered.
FN:~~~~Mmmm The Secretary and the Field Negro~~~~
CR: I am sorry field did you say something?
FN: Ahhh no, I was just thinking about something. So Madam Secretary, now that it's pretty much a known fact that Iraq is a total disaster, do you feel at all responsible for not doing a better job of advising the fra..I mean the President about what a colossal foreign policy blunder he was getting into?
CR: No field I don't. Because given the intelligence we had at the time, I think invading Iraq was the proper thing to do.
FN: But why? They had nothing to do with 911. They are, in fact, or they were, a secular country that was run by the Baathist party. And, most important of all, they were not a threat to our country.
CR: Yes field, but Saddam had been warned time and time again to stop his nuclear program and he didn't. He needed to be stopped.
FN: But Iran and North Korea are much farther along with their uranium enrichment programs, and we have not gone after them. In fact, we have reengaged North Korea in talks, and some would even argue that we have made more concessions to them than we did before.
CR: Now now field, it's not that simple. We had to let at least a part of the axis of evil know that we were serious. So we took action against the country that we thought was the biggest threat based on the intelligence we had at the time.
FN: Yeah but haven't we emboldened both of those countries because they now know that we are tied down in Iraq?
CR: No field we have not, those countries were dangerous to begin with, and by invading Iraq we let them know that we mean business.
FN: They were? Then why did they both speed up their nuclear programs only after we invaded Iraq? In fact, Iran said that they got serious about making sure they had a nuclear threat because we invaded Iraq. And I am sure the North Koreans used that as a justification for accelerating their nuclear program as well. Countering American aggression.
CR: No field that's simply not true, those people in Iraq were bad to begin with so something had to be done.
FN: Speaking of bad people, do you think it was right for Vice President Cheney to literally call out the Chinese while visiting Australia the other day?
CR: Well field I wouldn't exactly say he called them out.
FN: He didn't? He damn near told them that by pursuing their satellite weapons program they are lying about seeking peace.
CR: Well Dick can be someone abrasive.
FN: I'll say and didn't he insult the democrats while on foreign soil by suggesting that their plan for Iraq would make the terrorist happy?
CR: He might have said something to that effect, but that's Dick he speaks his mind.
FN: Let me ask you about your peace plan for the Middle East. It would seem that lately it has not been going so well.
CR: What do you mean by that field?
FN: Well we had a war in Lebanon, the Palestinians are fighting among themselves and the Israelis are feeling more vulnerable than ever.
CR: No field your assumptions are not true, we are actually making progress over there. Just the other day I brought the Israeli PM, Ehud Olmert, and Mahmoud Abbas together.
FN: Yeah but didn't those talks break off?
CR: Yes they did, but you know what field, at least they started talking.
FN: Yeah but half of the Palestinian people don't even consider Abbas and the Fattah party legitimate. They support Hammas. Shouldn't you be working to bring those parties together too?
CR: No field we consider the Fattah party the legitimate party of the Palestinian people.
FN: But what gives you and the "decider" the right to decide what is right for those people?
CR: Field we are America, our job is to spread freedom throughout the world.
FN: Yeah, but what if those people don't want your freedom?
CR: Field, don't be ridiculous, who wouldn't want our form of freedom?
FN: Ok...well let me ask you a more personal question: The republicans are trying to draft you to run for President. Have you considered it?
CR: No field, one black person running is enough for one Presidential cycle.
FN: Yeah I guess you are right, but the republicans are serious about drafting you. I think they might actually vote for you.
CR: Now field don't be silly, you see what happened to Colin didn't you. Sometimes you can't believe the hype, I would never make it out of the primary.
FN: Yeah I guess you wouldn't play too well in South Carolina.
CR: But it's flattering to be considered for such a high honor.
FN: Yeah I guess. Now I asked you the good, now I have to ask you about the bad: What about the infamous shopping spree while our people were drowning in New Orleans?
CR: Field that was way over blown, as soon as I found out how serious Katrina was, I got the hell out of that department store.
FN: Well how about Darfur? Why is this administration not putting more pressure on other African nations, and the UN to do something about the crisis in Darfur?
CR: Honestly, field, Darfur does bother me. After all, those are my people over there, and it gets to me on a personal level. But unfortunately, that is not our priority right now, we are more focused on the situation in Iraq and the Middle East.
FN: Finally Madam Secretary, I must ask you, are the rumors about you and a certain Canadian government official true? Are you two really an item?
CR: Now now field, what happens in Georgetown stays in Georgetown.
FN: Hey, I am, not mad at you, we all have to get our freak on.
CR: Stop it field, you are making me blush.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Red Coats Are Running!


I swear I was going to try and blog about Obama tonight, but I still can't figure out what to say.

Instead, I have something else on my mind, and it has to do with the frat boy's war.

Folks, it seems my man Tony Blair and the British are going to be pulling out of the land of Saddam. Unless you have been on another planet, I am sure you have heard by now that the British are pulling their troops out of Basra. (1,700 to begin with, and eventually the remaining 5,500 by Christmas) Can you believe it? "The coalition of the willing" all of a sudden doesn't seem so willing after all. Can you imagine that phone call between Tony Blair and the frat boy? "Ahhh Tony what the f**k are you doing? I just heard on Fox News that you are drawing down your troops. Man you can't do that and leave me hanging. This is a critical time in the war effort, I have a f*****g surge on for crying out loud!" "Yeah sorry about that George, but I face a very serious political problem at home, I just can't put British troops at risk anymore. Besides, the Queen herself called me and said it's time to 'cut and run'. Apparently you haven't heard, but Prince Harry's unit was about to be sent to Iraq in May. What else was I going to do, I can't put the Monarchy at risk"

So the Brits will join Denmark and Lithuania who have all announced that it's time to go. Of course all of this won't matter to the frat boy and his minions. When you have ignored an entire country and it's elected leaders, and pretty much said f**k you to every intelligent analysis regarding this war-military and otherwise-you are pretty much either insane, or higher than a North Philly crack addict off of your power.

Now if you listen to Condi and Darth Vader, you would think that the British pulling out is a good thing. How they came to that conclusion only God in heaven knows. We all know that the child of the segregated South (who is now a part of a segregated White House totally segregated from reality) lies, and Dick Cheney... is, well, Dick Cheney. But all the spinning in the world will not change the reality on the ground. As recently as October of 2006, Blair said that leaving Iraq would be "inappropriate". Now, just months later, the Iraqis are ready to assume their own security of Basra. Yeah right, and I am a fu****g member of the 700 Club.

The last time I checked the area patrolled by the British is predominantly Shiite, and leaving will create a vacuum for that infamous Shiite Cleric, Muqtada al-Sadr. Won't it be great to see him building up his army unchecked now that the British are gone? Just what we need, while our troops pour into Baghdad, al-Sadr's army builds to the South. Way to go George, we know you can't pick your enemies "they represent an axis of evil" but you don't even know how to pick your fu****g friends. So we stay stuck in this evil illegal war, while our young heroes die and the ones we save on the battle field come home to "Building fu****g 18". The British lost about 175 troops, and said that was enough. We have lost over 3,000 and counting, and still we can't get it into our heads that this war is pointless. Too many patriots, and paper tigers here at home, all too willing to scream from talk radio, and on the FAKE NEWS NETWORK, in order to hold on to political power and ratings. This, while we have a growing crisis here at home; in our cities, our board rooms, and in our fu****g pocket books.

So keep lying Condi, keep spinning Dick, your minions can't get enough of the Kool Aide. It must be nice to know that there will always be friendly ears (at least 30% of us) all too willing to believe your bull sh*t.

Monday, February 19, 2007

No President's Day For Dante.


"For what its worth, Dante Jackson Freeman was the toughest kid in Philadelphia. Ever.
Four years ago, in a craps game in his North Philadelphia neighborhood up around 29th and Oxford Streets, he won what some apparently felt was too much. At least that's his mother's theory of how his trouble started. Stacey Jackson wasn't always sure what was going on with her teenage son in those streets. She was relaxing at a neighborhood club on a winter night when she was told her son was outside. She found Dante, furious, standing on the cold sidewalk in his socks.
"Can you believe this?" he asked her. He had been jumped by some boys he knew, and they had taken his jacket and his boots.
"He felt violated," Stacey said. "People he knew did it to him. After that, Dante just went off."
Another Dante conjured up one stunning vision of hell, but there is another real one burning in fierce pockets around this city. African Americans here are three times more likely to be murdered than the countrywide average. Most of the victims are young men. There were 317 gun-related homicides here last year, compared with 233 four years ago, despite world-class emergency medical care that every year pulls more and more back from the grave. The trend reflects an out-of-control urban underclass, an abandoned and shockingly vicious subculture that is one of the biggest ongoing stories in this city and country.
Yet these are rarely the kinds of killings that get much press. The carnage in the streets of American cities in any one year far exceeds the combined death tolls in Afghanistan and Iraq, yet it is not even on the agenda of national politics. More and more, the shootings are not about money or drugs, but about nothing at all, or what amounts to nothing in the larger world. Today's murders are often about being "dissed." The reckless pride of a teenage boy is not new, but what of a society without the constraints of family and community? That amplifies petty vendettas with easy access to deadly weapons? That encourages it in film and song? There is something new about that.
So Dante's story began with stolen boots. To his mother, he was not perfect, but was basically "a good boy," polite and caring, a dropout just a few credits shy of his high school diploma. To the system, he just fit a familiar mold - an angry young man with prior drug and handgun arrests in a willing swan dive toward death or prison.
Three weeks after his boots were stolen, Dante was shot for the first time. The round hit his lower left leg and foot. He was taken to Hahnemann University Hospital, where they stitched him up expertly and sent him home on crutches, his leg in a cast. That lasted for a few weeks. As soon as the leg would bear weight, he cut off the cast and went back out with his gun.
He was shot the second time just a few weeks later, in the other leg. This time he was repaired at Temple University Hospital, where Dante was to become a regular. He was sent home once more in a cast, and after a few weeks he cut that one off and went back out with his gun, where he was promptly shot a third time. That round went into his side in the front and exited in the rear. No organ damage. They stitched him up in the emergency room at Temple and sent him back home.
"Dante, he was a quick healer," Stacey said. He wasn't down for long.
The fourth time was more serious. On April 14, 2005, he was hit multiple times - "four or five," Stacey said - in the chest and stomach. He was with his friend Pierre "Scooter" Gatson, who died. At Temple's trauma center, where he was now on a first-name basis, 19-year-old Dante had a hole poked in his neck to attach a breathing machine, and surgeons sewed up his innards, which had been savagely rearranged. They cut out a damaged portion of his bowels. He spent 30 days in intensive care.
"He was a wiry, angry kid," said James Curtis, a trauma nurse who got to know him during that visit. "I could relate to him. I grew up in a neighborhood like that. I gave him the talk, the one about putting the guns down, finding a job. They are a captive audience for a while. You hope that the shock of the shooting will open their ears. I give them hard words. Some of them listen. I've had kids who have taken it upon themselves to change. But for some of them, that world is all they know."
Scott Charles, the trauma outreach coordinator at Temple, tells a scarred kid like Dante that getting shot is not like getting hit by lightning; that, hit once, he is more likely to be shot again; that unless he makes big changes, he will probably be back, or dead. He points out that the surgeons and nurses are all making a nice living patching him up repeatedly, that they drive cool cars back and forth to lovely homes on safe blocks. He speaks up for education, responsibility and hard work.
Dante was a polite listener, but unmoved. He knew, but would never say, who shot him. He was annoyed when the women in his family sniffled at his bedside over his terrible wounds.
"You stop all that cryin'," he scolded them. "But when I do die, I want you all to get tattoos."
Dante went home that summer with a colostomy bag. The surgeons left a hole in his abdomen so that the large intestine could drain feces into it. It wasn't permanent. When the healing progressed, they planned to reattach the severed portions and get rid of the bag, but Dante didn't last that long. He had lost a lot of weight, so under his oversized shirt you couldn't see the bag... or the gun. He was hit for the last time on Aug. 18, 2005, in a gangland-style shoot-out with a passing car, which sped away. Stacey found him still on the pavement, silent, his breath coming in heaves, wounded this time in the neck and back.
There are still many, many tough kids in Philadelphia, armed and angry and ready, but I think Dante gets the crown. The old ghetto joke is: If you want to look tough, have a broken arm. So it should come as no surprise that on his fifth delivery to a trauma center, the toughest kid in Philadelphia was dead.
He is buried in an unmarked grave in his old neighborhood. Stacey is planning to get a stone in time for the first anniversary of his death. The girls in the family have tattoos. "

I would like to thank Mark Bowden from my hometown paper, The Philadelphia Inquirer, for that moving and all too familiar story.


Memo to my white liberal progressive friends at blogs like My DD,Huffington Post, and Daily Kos: Dante Jackson and many more like him, is the reason we can't go into this raging cultural and political war together. The truth is, there are no Dante Jackson's in your world or in your neighborhoods. And although there might not be any Dante Jackson's in my neighborhood either, Dante looks just like me, and we share something that none of you ever will; our race. The blood that ran through Dante's veins is the same blood that runs through mine, and more than likely, the person's that killed him. It's what separates me from all of my progressive friends who might share some of my politics, but know nothing about my struggle.

When I wake up every day and have to read about yet another young black man taking the life of another it hurts. And it pains me that a country that can spend billions of dollars to protect the life of people thousands and thousands of miles away can't protect the children right here in Philadelphia. It pains me to watch poli-tricksters posture with bulls**t issues (Troop surge no troop surge,non-binding resolutions,binding resolutions, and on and on) when kids are dying out here on these streets, and neighborhoods are being lost . Why? Because it's not their kids, and the kids that are dying do not look like them. " Field, why are you so angry all the time?" Because America and the ignorant ass selfish people running it made me this way.

Oh well, happy President's Day everybody. Hey, just one more day to be happy for. I bet there will be some great sales in the stores. They even say it's the best day to buy a car. Thank God our 43rd President, the frat boy, is fighting for us over in Iraq. How else could we afford to keep the price of oil down. After all, what good is a shiny new car if you can't afford to gas it.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

House Rules (Why field Negroes should break them)



A blogger who I have a great deal of respect for posted a few days ago about the White vs. Black blogospehre debate that I have been participating in recently. Her post was more a critique of another blogger, Francis Holland, who started this debate after he was booted from Daily Kos.

Ms. Tubman raised some very good points, and I would expect no less from her. But I must take issue with some of the things she said concerning Mr. Holland. Throughout her post, she seemed to be admonishing Mr. Holland for not blogging with the proper tone, or for being a "bull in a china cabinet" while he was allowed to post on Daily Kos. (To be fair, Ms. Tubman said she agreed with the message but not how it was being delivered) My question to Ms. Tubman would be this: Should we modify or stance on positions or the way we post in order to be allowed to participate in certain online discussions with white folks? I would certainly hope not, and if there are black bloggers out there doing that....well, let's just say that I hope they gave you a very nice "room" and computer in the house for your troubles.

Now I don't want to speak for Mr. Tubman, she is more than capable of speaking for herself. But I am sure she will say that her critiquing of Mr. Holland , was due mostly to the fact that he himself, seemed to really want back in with the Daily Kos crowd. So one could argue that her post was a road map for him to more or less find his way back in. But I doubt seriously that Mr. Hollands motivation was to simply get back on Kos just to say he could post there again. I suspect that his motivation was political, as he really seems to have a thing for Hillary, and he wanted to openly campaign for her on a site that clearly has kicked her to the curb. Mr. Holland suspects that his race has something to do with why he was kicked off. And while it may not have been a direct cause, I think the fact that he is black made the conversation-whatever it happened to be-more uncomfortable, even for the so called progressives over there at Kos.

Now let me be clear; as I have stated before, I could care less whether I interact with that crowd or not. Their issues aren't my issues, and visa versa. " So the rage against the machine bit is self created. If you want to talk about Iraq,or oil,or campaign finance reform,or deficit/debt..there's none of that on Field Negro" That would be corrct "Charlie", you won't get discussions here about the deficit,the national debt, campaign finance reform etc. You know why my progressive friend? Because most black folks out here don't give a f**k about those issues. We are too busy trying to hold down a nine to five and not get shot on our way home from work to be worrying about your f*****g campaign finance reform. Like it makes a difference whether a mother f****r can spend 100 million or 200 million of his own money. Poli-tricksters, democrats, and republicans, will always find a way around that sh**. Don't even get me started on these clueless,disconnected mother fu****s that I have to share country with. Sorry folks, that was a serious digression, and I tried to finish this post without cursing, (I guess they won't use this one at the Bob Dole Institute of Politics in Lawrence Kansas) but some people just set me off.

So anyway, back to Ms. Tubman's post. She had some wonderful and thought provoking suggestions towards the end. Should black bloggers come together around common goals and try to make ourselves stronger? Or should we seek more inclusion from white bloggers and combine our efforts with them around some common political agendas? Folks, I think you know where I stand on this issue. The problem is, well, I won't call their names, but there are bloggers out there like the Christian lady, Lasha...whoops I said no names, and a few more who know who they are; who would tear the freaking house down if they thought they couldn't get in. Unfortunately, because of their positions, and their way of making white folks feel good about themselves, these are the more popular sites among black bloggers. So the rest of us, who want to start unifying around issues that effect us, will have much more of an uphill battle ahead. It would be so much easier to sell out and write to make right wing "Charlie and left wing "Charlie" more comfortable, but some of us just can't and will never do that.

I loved Ms. Tubman's the idea of a black ad network, and more black empowerment economically. But again, that will call for more black progressive bloggers (why do I even use that word) coming together and being unified in our goals. That's easier said than done, but I have hope. I am starting to see more and more positive black bloggers out here every day. (The usual posters to this site comes to mind.) People who are truly independent and could really give a damn about what "Charlie" thinks. The beauty of it is that many of these folks are new, and they haven't developed a large following just yet. So in a way, this is still virgin territory, and they can take this blogging thing in whatever direction they choose. It's too late for people like LaShawn, and Oliver, and Sh...whoops, I said I wouldn't call names. But that's what's so great about America, there are so many more of us out here, with so many resources, and so many points of views to express that even a few of us typing away in the house can't hold back our message. Because at the end of the day, the fields are so much bigger than the house, and there are so much more of us out here than in there.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Musing From My Barber's Chair


Today I headed to my barber to get that straight razor on my dome. (The Bic throw aways can only go so far) Of course, while in my man's chair, I had some thoughts.

So here are a few of the things that were running through my mind today:

What the hell is wrong with Tim Hardaway's ignorant ass? Not only is he a homophobe, but he is a stupid one at that. He goes on a popular sports program in South Florida and declares to the world: "I hate Gay people". My brother, maybe you should reconsider your position. Especially given the fact that your ass belongs to a class of people that ain't exactly loved, if you know what I mean. All those NBA dollars must have made you lose touch with reality. You have nothing to fear from Gays. It's that straight ass white man that's sitting next to you that your ass better start worrying about.

And while we are talking about foot in mouth. Did the Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, really suggest that Barack Obama is the Al Qaida candidate? Or some such dumb ass thing. Mr. Howard, may I suggest that you "slip another shrimp on the barbie" and shut the f**k up!

I am thinking that now all of a sudden the MSM has grown some, and are starting to get tough on the frat boy and his Iraqi war policies. Well too late. Where were you during the run up to this war, when the frat boy and his minions were lying to the American people to sell this fiasco? I will tell you where you were. Waving flags and cheer leading with the rest of the idiots over at the FAKE NEWS NETWORK. So too little too late as far as I am concerned. I will never trust the American media again. I will just as soon get my world news from the British press or any Third World rag which employees real journalist.

I am wondering why I can't get into Barack. I mean it seems every one else is, black, and white. Every thing seems in place with him. But something about the brother just doesn't sit right with me. Still, I am not going to knock him just yet. I am glad he is on the national scene and exposing white folks to a brother that's....well, articulate.

I am definitely not feeling Hillary. And I am not sure I get all the black love. I can't forgive her flip flopping on this war, and her seemingly perfect answers to every question. Girlfriend, could you let your hair down for just a minute? You are like a f*****g machine.

This blogging thing keeps popping up in my mind. I saw over at My DD where they are still talking about the "blogger apartheid ". (Yeah, they really do care) And I saw where a poster over there said I had some faux anger issues. "So the rage against the machine bit is self created. If you want to talk about Iraq, or oil, or campaign finance reform, or deficit/debt...there's none of that on FieldNegro" . No partner, my rage against the machine issue is not contrived. There is lots to be angry about. Maybe not for you, in your America, but the America I see everyday makes me really angry. So excuse me if I am not "happy" enough for you. If you want to see or hear happy black people, may I suggest you watch BET, or turn on Tom Joyner in the mornings; that's some happy for your ass. If angry black people scare you, you might want to stay the f**k out of the fields. ~~~sorry Mr. Barber, I was just thinking about something~~~ See that My DD poster, thinking about your ass almost got me a nick on my dome. My barber likes me to be very still when he is working his razor.

So I am thinking about this Anna Nicole thing, and how she allegedly went and hooked up with "Dexter" down in the Bahamas. Girlfriend did not play. But I wonder if she is going to be still America's pseudo sweet heart after that little nugget becomes known far and wide. Somehow I doubt it. I mean multiple lovers of the white persuasion is one thing. But Dexter? You see what happened to Madonna's ass, she had to move to England. Too many "Dexters" in her past.

Is that Colin Powell's picture I saw on the back of my milk box this morning? Where the hell is that brother? I am thinking he is with Condi somewhere, drinking shots and cursing the frat boy.

Thank you Mr. Barber, my dome is looking right. Sorry about flinching there for a minute, I was just thinking about some things.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Candy, flowers, cards; and some ox tail for dinner...


Happy Valentines Day!

I just hope that sucker cupid doesn't shoot me when I least expect it!

Peace.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Not Again!



ST. PAUL, Minn. - A party that asked students to come dressed “politically incorrect” has prompted an investigation by Macalester College officials who learned one student was costumed as a Ku Klux Klan member and another wore blackface with a noose around his neck.
Students at the private school told administrators about the Jan. 16 party on campus.
“My initial reaction was shock,” said Paul Maitland-McKinley, a member of the Black Liberation Affairs Committee, a student group. “I thought, this can’t really happen on my campus.”

A campus-wide discussion is planned for Tuesday.
“We hope we can start a deeper dialogue on ... why these types of activities hurt people and why they get the kind of response they do,” said Jim Hoppe, the school’s associate dean of students.
The student newspaper, The Mac Weekly, quoted senior David Nifoussi, who attended the party, as saying it was meant to be a satiric comment on “things that would be considered taboo in most situations” at the liberal school.
Macalester is the latest in a series of colleges to investigate student parties and incidents that have involved racial overtones.
Earlier this school year, Trinity College and Whitman College had parties where students showed up in racially offensive costumes or blackface. At Texas A&M University, students made a racist video that apparently was intended as satire, and a fraternity at Johns Hopkins University was suspended after a “Halloween in the Hood” party displayed a fake skeleton hanging from a noose.
The Macalester party was held a week before spring classes started and did not draw a large crowd, Hoppe said.
Macalester President Brian Rosenberg sent a statement to students, faculty and staff members condemning the offensive costumes and party theme.
“It is important to understand that the college condemns and will not tolerate activities of this type,” he wrote. “It is deeply disappointing that Macalester students would be so insensitive and demonstrate such a lack of understanding of the college’s values and mission.”


" I thought this can't really happen on my campus"

Well that's your first problem Paul, it's not your f****ng campus! And the sooner black folks like you stop buying into that bull sh** the sooner you will realize that there is nothing to be surprised about when a bunch of your white college peers make fun of your ass.

Folks, let me apologize for yet another cut and paste job on my post. But hey, sometimes real life comes in the way of blogging and the field just has been way too busy to post the way I want to lately.

But I have to address yet another politically incorrect bash at one of our fine institutions of higher learning: Like what the f**k? Frankly, the field just cannot understand this phenomenon, and in order to get to the bottom of it, he went straight to the source. That's right, the field sought out one of his "white friends" to explain just what is the fascination with all things black and ghetto with these seemingly normal college age white kids.

[Real Conversation]

"Hi white friend" (Not his real name)
"Hi field"
"Hey man, I gotta ask you, you went to college right?"
"Ahh yeah field, the last time I checked, you need a college degree before you get a law degree."
"Yeah that's right. So tell me, when you went to college, did you guys have these politically incorrect parties where you would make fun of black people and black culture?"
"Field, since you are my friend, I think I can level with you; we had them all the f*****g time!
I mean you wouldn't believe some of the sh*# we did and said. No offense field, but we just didn't really understand the black sensitivity back then if you know what I mean."
"Yeah I hear you. So how come all of a sudden we are hearing so much more about this stuff?"
"Hey, it's the times we live in man. White kids dime out other white kids to college administration. They think they are being Gandhi or some sh** by doing that, and the next thing you know, the press gets a hold of it, and you have a national fu****g story."
"Ahhhh, I hear you white friend. Look man, thanks for the scoop, I kinda suspected this kind of stuff goes on all the time, but I just wasn't sure."
"Yo field, we are still cool right?"
"Hell yeah white friend, we cool."



Oh wait, I can't finish this post before commenting on a pair of shootings that took place in the home of the brave and the land of the not so free over night. One tragedy took place in a city that has come to know this type of random violence only too well. (Heck, just a few years ago we had seven people shot to death execution style in a drug house) But the other tragedy, took place in the very pale, very Mormon, slice of paradise known as Utah. "He looked like an average Joe" Yeah I am sure he did, how about that? Even an"average Joe" can do not so average things.

The Philly shooter was an "average Joe" too. At least to us here in Philly he was. But then, what's an "average Joe" to Philly ain't an "average Joe to Utah I guess.


Oh well, I guess the NRA spin people will be out in full force now. "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" Mmmmmm, even if it's just an "average Joe"?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

I Have Your "Amnesty Day" Right Here!

I have removed the My DD and Eschaton links from my blogroll. Why? Because those elitist mother fu****s with their "Amnesty Day" bull sh** pissed me off that's why! And I was never on, nor was I ever going to be on their blogrolls, but it's just the thought of them excluding smaller blogs who could use some shine from their site that pissed me off. Like who died and made them the "Mr. Bug Stuffs" of the blogosphere? The sad thing is, that these are both so called liberal progressive blogs, and they should know better. But it just goes to show you that a big head has no particular political affiliation.

Ironically, it was while reading a conservative blog that I really started thinking and getting pissed off at what these cats were doing.

So here is hoping that all us little guys and fringe bloggers do the same thing, and purge our blogrolls of these so called big boys on the block. Hopefully, this will wake them up, and let them realize that they were little guys at one point too.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

"Whitosphere vs. Blackosphere"


I want to post about something I saw over at My DD ,a progressive net roots web site whose primary focus seems to be the advancement of democratic party candidates. Now in the spirit of true disclosure, I have to say that I have posted on My DD from time to time, and I even link the site here on my own blog. But an African American blogger raised some very good points while posting over there about the lack of links to black bloggers on many of these so called progressive white sites, and the lack of black participation ( I think he said 2%) on the white web sites. So I thought it was worth talking about. Now this brother-I think his name is Francis Holland- seems to have a..(excuse this reference ladies) "hard on" for the people at Daily Kos (who apparently banned him from their site) and My DD. So I understand that there is an element of sour grapes with his position. Still, he raised some interesting points, and this is a subject worth discussing among people of all colors on the net.

I understand that this is a touchy subject for many progressives, because 90% of the time blacks and liberal white progressives see eye to eye on many core issues and causes. But what about the huge elephant in the room? Yes, that one, the race factor. I guess we have to ask ourselves: do we have to get along on the racial issues in order to come together and promote issues we all care about? Can we practice a form of "blogger apartheid" -as Mr. Holland refers to it on the net, yet come together around certain issues and politicians who we all support? Honestly, I am not sure I know the answer to that. I thought some of the responses the brother got was really interesting. Some of the commentators were upset that he would inject race into such a "color blind" forum as the Internet. Yeah right, when was the Internet ever color blind? Give me a fu****g break! The Internet is no more color blind than any other facet of society. (Like when I post as the field-negro a mother f****r doesn't know that I am black) So that's a bogus argument, and it's the type of hypocritical argument on racial matters which absolutely drives me crazy. I saw where my man from My DD was defending Markos over at Daily Kos and declaring that "he is not a racist". How the f**k does he know? Because they are kindred spirits on matters of politics? I don't think so!

Now I thought  that Jill Tubman had the best answers and most thoughtful response to Mr. Holland's concerns, because she put the entire debate in it's proper context: "White progressives address politics more directly whereas black bloggers are addressing it indirectly as it affects us more as a community." I co-sign with her on that. If you read most black blogs, we address political and social issues as they effect us as a community, and not society as a whole. So maybe we can never really become as one with our white web counterparts because our interests are so diverse.

Mr. Holland seems to be screaming for more black inclusion in the Whitosphere, and more black links to sites like Daily Kos and My DD etc. This is where my man and I tend to part company. I personally could give a f**k whether My DD or Daily Kos, or any of the other so called white progressive blogs link me or even include me in their discussion. Honestly, their issues aren't my issues. I know they have very strong political beliefs and are tied to the democratic party and its leaders, but not me, and this is going to surprise some people. But I would just as soon vote for a republican over a democrat if I thought he had my people's best interest at heart. So I really don't give a f**k which party a particular politician belongs to. The reason I happen to despise most republicans is that they just happen to be the most f****d up when it comes to matters of race. But don't get it twisted; some democrats are f****d up too. And I will never walk lock step with any one party. NEVER! This is what separates me from the Daily Kos My DD crowd, and what I think ultimately might separate me from people who are crying for inclusion.

Call me a separatist, but I am more proud to be linked to sites like Skeptical Brotha, Freeslave, and Mirror On America than to the more popular progressive white sites like Kos, My DD, and their ilk. And, for the record, I have links to white sites on my blog as well. -My man konagod and the aforementioned My DD comes to mind- so I guess I am not such a separatist after all.
I am glad Mr. Holland raised this subject, it needed to be addressed. My position on this is pretty clear, but I understand the opposite school of thought: We should try to learn about each other and from a political standpoint, it benefits the democratic party to get  feed back from it's most reliable constituents. But you can't force inclusion on people, I don't care how progressive they claim to be. We have given up on the republicans, because we realize that they have given up on us. Maybe we should take that position with the democrats as well.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

A Not So Happy Day




Today the field is in a real shi**y mood. The East Coast is still feeling like we are in the fu****g ice age, and it has to be minus fifty degrees outside. To top it off, I was totally off my litigating game, and got my ask kicked in court by some ADA fresh out of law school.

So while driving home from work, I find myself filled with negative thoughts, and as a result, some things come to mind that really set me off. To insure that I won't be alone in my misery, I will share them with you:

Tip cups. Why does every freaking store have to have a tip cup? I am so sick of business people depending on my f*****g tips to offset their employees salaries it isn't funny. And have you ever noticed how some of those mother f*****s watch your tip as you drop it in the cup-Dunkin Donuts comes to mind-to make sure you are not stiffing them? Enough already!

Girl Scouts and their fu****g cookies. "Would you like to buy some cookies sir?" No little girl, I just bought cookies from the other little girl scouts camped outside my gas station, my grocery store, and my freaking front door. No I don't want to buy anymore girl scout cookies!

Co-workers who go around collecting for sh** for their kids school. OK you hit me up for $20 last week, can you wait at least another...oh, I don't know, maybe month or so before you hit me up again?

People with fake sh**. Folks, if it ain't real what's the point of wearing it? To fool people into thinking you have a real Louis Vuitton or Coach hand bag? News flash, it ain't working.
Stevie Wonder can see that your stuff is fake, and so can damn near everyone else you come in contact with. Trust me, you are far better off with a real handbag from K-Mart than with some knock off sh** you bought from the vendor on the street.

People who tell everyone via bumper stickers on their cars, that they are Christians, that their child is a straight A student at Main Street Elementary, or that abortion is wrong. Keep that sh** to yourself. The world doesn't need to know that your thoughts are thanks to a sign plastered on your car. Like I need to be looking at a sign that says "Jesus Saves" when I am on my way to deal with the sh** I deal with every day.

Republicans. OK, most republicans...no, fu** it, right about now I hate all those mother f*****s, if only because they voted in the frat boy. So yeah, republicans get under my skin big time! Most are self centered hypocrites who hate blacks,gays, immigrants, and atheist. (Not necessarily in that order) But then, some democrats get under my skin too. They pretend to be so progressive, but are no less ignorant and hypocritical than the republicans they claim to be so different from.

Politicians. They lie, they cheat, they steal, and will do damn near anything to get elected and hold on to power. The only thing worse than a politician in my book, is a republican politician.

I could go on, but I just heard Anna Nicole Smith was found dead in Florida. Now I know I am supposed to say something respectful and profound here but I can't. Sorry, I feel nothing. I am still not sure I understand the American fascination with celebrities and their lives. -and deaths- Here was a woman whose only connection to me was the constant tabloid and gossip rags detailing her life's excesses with various men, and an 89 year old billionaire. I never got her while she was alive, and I sure as hell and not going to pretend I get her now. Sorry if I am being a bit harsh on the former "Trim Spa" spokesperson, she has a five month old, and I feel for the kid. But....

You know what, I better call it a night, I really don't want to say something I might regret at a later time. This has just been a real f****d up day, and I don't want to make it any worse. I am not sure if it's the cold, my job, or the fact that I have an appointment with my accountant tomorrow to do my taxes....that's another thing that sets me off; The damn IRS!


Tuesday, February 06, 2007

They Are Really Really Sorry!

CLEMSON, S.C. -- More than a dozen Clemson University students apologized at an emotional campus meeting for a gang-themed party many criticized as racist after photos emerged showing a white person wearing blackface, school officials said.
The university organized the meeting, allowing 15 partygoers to stand up one by one and express remorse in front of about 200 people.
"Some people really recognized the courage that it took," said Gail DiSabatino, vice president for student affairs. There was discussion, tears, "and eventually there was hugging," she said.
University president Jim Barker and the NAACP announced investigations into the party, which was held during Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, after photos emerged online earlier this week. The pictures featured some white students drinking malt liquor and at least one wearing blackface.
"They didn't know that they were being racist. It's really sad," said Ranniece McDonald, a junior who is black. (I would like to thank the AP for that story. Please don't sue me, I am sick of court rooms right about now)

Well, nice to see all is well that ends well down in South Carolina. I mean there was "tears and hugging" for crying out loud. Ohhhh isn't that nice? I knew it was just a big mistake and these poor kids didn't mean to be racist. After all, you just can't tell what is and isn't racist anymore. It must be really hard to be a white person right about now. Look at poor Joe Biden and his little slip of the tongue with the Obama clean articulate reference. Heck, even the frat-boy had a verbal faux paux when he referred to Obama as articulate. ("George Bush doesn't care about black people" Oh shut up Kanye!)

I for one am just glad it's over. Now maybe we can all move on to more important things besides worrying about race every day. Although that's going to be hard, at least for the next twenty two days or so. I mean this is black history month right? Well, at least they gave us a month. Thank God it wasn't one of those long months; like say, March or May. Can you imagine having to watch what you say or how you party for an extra three days?

Saturday, February 03, 2007

He Is Christian Like That! (This E-Mail Moved Me)

OK just when I was thinking there is no hope for the world, I get the following e-mail from a gentleman in the majority population who stumbled into the fields. I asked him if it was cool to publish it, and he gave me his OK. Below is my man's e-mail exactly as it came to the field:


Brian Herling wrote:> While looking for hate-mail on Cheney (actually, looking for a record of>what happened between the Cheney clan and Wolf Blitzer), I found your blog.>I read the top article on Biden and Obama, and I have to sadly agree with>you.>>I'm white, but lived in inner-city Atlanta for a couple years, trying to>make a difference (both in other people's lives and my own). I am still>sifting through the wreckage of my life during that time -- finding the>destruction and the jewels left behind by living out of my element.>>One of the things I've noticed is that my racism is still alive, even after>a few years of concerted efforts to destroy it. I see it in the little>things, but it is those little things that hint at a deeper truth. It is a>truth America has been steadfastly resisting for over 450 years.>>We, as whites, are a deeply racist lot. We were during the time of slavery,>and we are still racist today. Many of my friends and family will reject>that statement, but in response to that I have one reply:>>Are there any chronic diseases (of the body, mind, or soul) that can be>allowed to fester for 400 years that can be healed quickly, painlessly, and>without any special attention?>>I know of none, and do not think such a thing possible. I believe the wound>of racism and slavery has closed over, but it has not truly healed. The>evidence of this is overwhelming: Biden and many other whites making>oblivious comments; differences in color producing marked differences in>pay; the inherent belief that black history is one of ignorance and petty>tribalism. All point not to the inequality of races, but to the inability >of>whites to look beyond skin color and the refusal of whites to look back at>history farther then 30 years to find the source of "black angst.">>I have seen it in my own life many, many times. I will give only one>example, because it alone serves to condemn me (the others would only>convict me further).>>While in Atlanta, I worked under the city-directorship of a wise, godly>black man. I respected him, but I did not respect him with the level of>respect he deserved (and earned). I guess the easiest way to say it is that>I submitted to him, but there were times when I did not capitulate. With >any>other race in authority over me, I have always submitted fully. With him, I>resisted that tendency to surrender utterly. It was not fear, but that was>the problem. With all other authority figures, I had a healthy dose of>respect/fear. With my city director, I did not have that same level of>respect/fear. I saw him as intelligent, but I did not see him as my Head.>>Years later, that same lack of honor caused me to realize how racist I was.>I called him up to talk to him, and heard that he had been promoted from>being a city director to the head of the organization he worked for. He had>not been promoted because of silly reasons, but strictly because of his>vision, heart, and love of other people. He was, quite literally, the right>person for the job.>>This meant that he had to move, and when he told me he was no longer a city>director, I thought that he had left the organization. It never crossed my>mind that he could be the director of Mission Year. I quickly rearranged my>thinking when I realized he was now the leader of a national organization,>but that first faulty assumption told me all I needed to know. It was the>death knell ring in my soul.>>I guess, in some way, this letter to you is a letter of apology to him. It>is a confession aimed at the soul of racism writhing like a parasite inside>my heart. It is still there. I have seen it in my conversations with other>blacks, and I both loath it and feel utterly helpless to remove it.>>My city director taught me that the only known cure for racism was active,>honest friendships. I think he's right. I hope we can engage in those>friendships as a nation, or at least through dialog from the heart. In the>end, we need to see each others' hearts.>>I've got to go, but from one world-weary traveler to another:>>Peace>>In particular ('cause I'm Christian like that):>>God's peace>

Brian's thoughts reminds me of another article I saw in the Philadelphia Inquirer from a white journalist recently. You know what, the field is becoming more and more encouraged every day. Maybe there is hope for us after all. Thanks for your honesty Brian, you are a Christian, and yet, you struggle with your racism. At the end of the day, a little honesty is all the field is asking for. I think that goes a long way in healing some of the wounds that tears us apart. I know I struggle with lots of things myself, and at the end of the day, I think that is what this blog is all about; sharing my struggles with other people with similar struggles and life experiences.

The journey goes on, and we all are on it.

I'm out.