Thursday, January 21, 2010

Culture shock?

*

I am sick of all the gloom and doom, so I think I will put down a lighter post tonight by way of a cut and paste job. Although, I know to some,- especially my single friends-this is a serious subject.

It comes from a a poster over at AOL Black Voices named Tonna Bronze (I am guessing it's not her real name), and she would like to pose a question to you sisters:

"Black women, have any of you ever encountered drama from black men or your own families for dating someone outside of your culture - though of the same race? My boyfriend is African, and I'm a black American woman. We have been together for almost four years, and we are happy together. My one black male friend said to me, "Why are these Africans coming over here and taking our women?" He was joking around, but it is still annoying. (He had the nerve to ask me that question after he dated a white Jewish girl). My family was cracking jokes on my boyfriend because he was African (not to his face - but to mine, whenever he was not around). Still, my family loves my boyfriend as a member of the family.It gets old. Why is it ok for black men to date outside of their culture or race? Why are black women looked down upon for dating outside of their race and culture? It's annoying, and people need to stop putting black women in a box.What do you all think? Have you ever dated a black man from another culture? - Let alone, dated someone outside of your race all together??" [story]

I know what Mrs. Field's answer to that question would be: she married one. Although, to be honest, I don't think of myself as being from another culture. I am from another country that's made up of black folks just like my African American brothers and sisters. It just so happens that it was colonized by the Brits. (Although you should try telling that to some of my aunts: Field yu marry an American gurl? Lawd mi did tink yu would marry a gurl from Jamaica like yu modda. Digression alert!) Did I grow up liking different types of food and music? Sure I did. But so did black folks in Louisiana as opposed to black folks in New York or California. I don't think there is any flack among black American folks when we marry across state lines is there? Then why should there be when black folks marry each other from different countries and "cultures"? Some of the happiest couples I know are culturally mixed; so there.

My sisters, go on and do your thing. If it makes you happy and that person is your soul mate I am not mad at you. True love is too damn hard to find.


*Pic courtesy of grandmaskitchen.com

172 comments:

Robert M said...

Tell yoour family to STFU. If your choice makes you happy go for it. the long run its what you're about and only you control it.

classysbf said...

Thank you,Field.As a black woman in a loving relationship with a white man,your encouragement,tolerance and common sense is appreciated.And my black mother,sisters and cousins are cool with us,too :-).

Anonymous said...

Well as a Black American woman, I have dated African men. I love them...lol. My dad is super old school and he considers "them" different. He was very weird about it. I like Black American men and Africans though. I would marry either.

Field, I will be honest though. I do not/will not(not think) date WEst Indian men. All the ones I have met have turned me off, totally.

Anonymous said...

Why is it ok for black men to date outside of their culture or race?


Because the culture is very patriarchal; hence, me have more freedom to "explore other options," than do black women.

Nina Simone said...

Many black people need to emancipate themselves from mental slavery like Bob Marley said. It's a slave mentality to consider yourself apart from another black person just because of different cultures, skin color, or whatever ridiculous reason. And although I believe we should all love and respect one another as brothers and sisters we don't belong to each other. We should be free to date whomever we want. It's 6 billion people in the world, if you can find one that doesn't bullshit you then go for it no matter their race, religion, or culture.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

It don't bother me who one picks for their mate. That's their personal business the way I see it. whether they are kinfolk or not.

One of my cousins married an African who was able to had escape through the underground in Africa when Idi Amin ruled, whose family was killed during that atrocity. I like him, he is very intelligent and I learned from him what happened in his country under Idi Amin. He was a survived it and was able to escape and the stories he told me about the events that took place over there under Idi Amin were shocking and horrifying.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

sorry about all the errors.

Race Traitoress said...

Why is it ok for black men to date outside of their culture or race?

I didn't think it was, actually. Of course, it's done quite a lot, but I don't know that I'd say everyone is "okay" with it.

Anonymous said...

I didn't think it was, actually. Of course, it's done quite a lot, but I don't know that I'd say everyone is "okay" with it.

It is compared to black women dating out. Black women are expected to stay "loyal" to the race.

incogman said...

Real Africans think American Negroes (oh wait: Africanus Americans) are nothing but spoiled little brats. Any American Negroes that go over there are quite happy that slavery saved them down the road. Of course, that never keeps you from complaining 24/7, now does it?

INCOG MAN

incogman said...

Oh, yeah, Haiti SUCKS. I say: Let 'em all starve. Most worthless country, filled with the most worless race. Not a single penny of US money should be spent there. Maybe we could ship over some poison and Kool-aid so they can get it over with?

Jody said...

You said "True love is too damn hard to find."

That is the beginning and end of the argument for me... so true! Love is a gift and can come in the most unexpected packages... it is a gift and a blessing and what being on this planet is all about... we are here to love each other. So, when you have love, I say be thankful and count your blessings!

Bob said...

I learn a lot from these posts, like I'm eavesdropping ;).

agape2010 said...

What sense does it make to concern yourself with who a loved one or friend is dating or loving...unless the relationship they have is detrimental to their health (abuse)...
I have dated Nigerians, Ghanans, Haitians, Jamacians, a wonderful man from Martinique (dang that was a good flashback!) and currently I am seeing a man from Barbados with a lovely British accent (raised in London...Brixton Front Line...very 'hood...but I digress).
I think these men are actually smarter, have more integrity, and more swag than American black men who seem to think they have the market cornered on black American women.
My only issue with them is that when they look for a woman to marry they usually want someone darker than I am :(
In the meantime, girls still just wanna have fun :)

Peace.
~agape2010~

Anonymous said...

Anon, "It is compared to black women dating out. Black women are expected to stay "loyal" to the race."

You are full of it and you know it.

Anonymous said...

Agape2010-"I have dated Nigerians, Ghanans, Haitians, Jamacians, a wonderful man from Martinique (dang that was a good flashback!) and currently I am seeing a man from Barbados..."

What happened to the European men and white Americans? You must be prejudiced.

FlyNMy40s said...

Message to UTS, PLEASE spare us your sordid tales of all the white women you shi-lacked in college on your way to marrying your "mahogany" queen. Thanks boo!

And I think imma have to cosign with agape about Jamacian men. Dam, those are some sexy mofos!!!

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Bob:

LOL!

FlyNMy40s said...

Of course, the only problem with Caribbean men is that although they are quite charming and sexy, they are some CHEATIN' mofo's too, LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Why is it ok for black men to date outside of their culture or race?

RT- "I didn't think it was, actually. Of course, it's done quite a lot, but I don't know that I'd say everyone is "okay" with it."

You are absolutely right. Just on this blog there have been many negative comments about bm dating or marrying outside of their race. Especially if the woman is White!

Anonymous said...

Fly-"Message to UTS, PLEASE spare us your sordid tales of all the white women you shi-lacked in college on your way to marrying your "mahogany" queen. Thanks boo!"

I wish you wouldn't say that to uts. I really enjoy hearing his story again, and again, and AGAIN.

The man is a real cassanova! Or was.

Anonymous said...

The heart knows better than us how stupid and silly our national, social, and cultural prejudices can be as century after century it has conquered them.

--j

Anonymous said...

j, you speak the truth that few can see.

k

Race Traitoress said...

@--j

beautifully stated



word verification: mingl

*smile*

Hip-Hop 4 AgreeAble Souls said...

Know Thyself - then all Blacks in whatever country would know that we are all of the same family....the difference may be as big as what western country/culture colonized/enslaved our ancestors to as little as eating Fu Fu over Gumbo....as long as we tear down our own bridges, we will never be able to support the many facets of our national and international Black Culture...

Val said...

I had no idea that dating a Black person from another culture was a problem.

I grew up in NYC and just about every other Black person was from another culture in my neighborhood. Maybe it's different for people that grow up in other places that have less diverse Black populations.

Geneva Girl said...

Field, I married a Jamaican man. When I told my father that I was dating him, before they'd met, I blurted out, "And, he doesn't have dreads or smoke ganja!" That was my father's image of Jamaican men.

Since I was in my mid-30s my dad was especially delighted that I'd found an intelligent, educated man who'd never been married and had no kids. All of that outweighed his being Jamaican - in my dad's eyes.

My husband's family didn't seem to mind that I was American. Although after knowing him for 14 years, his mother still hasn't warmed to me.

Smashed The Tiny Black Box said...

Once I turned 18, my philosophy was "I'm an adult. I wish someone would tell me not to date _____ men."

Before I married, I dated men from every continent. I'm glad I did. Now that I'm older, I'm aware of my preferences. (Prefer Black or black-Hispanic worldwide. Darker skin please. Fit. Foreign accent a plus. Love West Africans as long as they are not polygamous or cheaters. I know, cheaters are everywhere. These men tend to smarter about it.) At the end of the day, it about whether or not you and that man can/will/desire to build a long lasting committed relationship. Regardless of where he comes from, you need common ground, whether its education, sports, hobbies, career, music, spirituality etc.
You are the one that will have to look at him each morning. Choose wisely, coz it's cheaper to keep him. Date that Nigerian! Cousin Cruella's just hating.

Smashed The Tiny Black Box said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
agape2010 said...

@ annon @ 11:16 pm:

The post was about black American women dating black men that are NOT black American men. That is my response to that...

Now about "dating out" of my preference...?

Are you asking me out?

Peace.
~agape2010~

agape2010 said...

@ Fly:

^ 5 bout those Jamacian men...yes they keep you on your toes...but once busted they will come crawling back with no excuses..."jus blamin itton de fac dat dey couldna find ju at de time!" Hahaha!

Peace.
~agape2010~

thoma said...

I know what Mrs. Field's answer to that question would be: she married one. Although, to be honest, I don't think of myself as being from another culture.

of course you don't FN of course you don't

Also, where are all the loud mouth bitches who 6 weeks ago were damning interracial relationships. Suddenly their mouths are shut. Interesting. Recall the post about black women not being able to find decent mates? So many of YOU were bashing interracial relationships. Interesting...

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

What's love got to do with it?

uptownsteve said...

"Message to UTS, PLEASE spare us your sordid tales of all the white women you shi-lacked in college on your way to marrying your "mahogany" queen. Thanks boo!"

Somebody has "uptown" on the brain.

I never claimed to have bedded a bunch of white women only that I had a few white girlfriends when I was young.

I don't have a problem with interracial relationships and I don't believe most brothers do either.

I think certain sistas are creating this Trojan Horse ("I get grief for dating outside my culture") to rationalize why they aren't dating anybody.

I say go for it!

Europeans, Africans, Mongoloids, Samoans, ALeuts.................

If it pleases you and makes you a little less neurotic, by all means DO IT.

uptownsteve said...

"Recall the post about black women not being able to find decent mates?"

This quote always cracks me up.

Everytime I see or hear a woman make this claim the first thing that comes to my mind is "What the fuck is so wonderful about YOU?"

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

All the sweet, attractive, personable, supportive sisters I know are in successful committed relationships with men.

And the ones who claim they can't find anybody?

Y'all do the math.

Anonymous said...

Do you ever see groups of blacks travelling to a scene of disaster? Think about it here. How about when White people in a midwest town get hit by a river flood?

for real

false1 said...

The slave master taught African Americans that we are minorities. Embracing the black diaspora makes us majorities. We are afraid of our own strength (in numbers).

black man + black woman = black baby
Do you believe in the black family?

Black men chase white women because women are sexual objects in this society. White women are considered the Cadillac of females. Everything in this society reinforces that notion.

Black women don't chase white men (as much) because they don't think with their dicks, are more family oriented, and generally smarter than men.

Thank God black women still support black men, no one else does.

Don't fuck it up.

alicia banks said...

fn:

sexism and racism are ancient combined poisons universally...

white slave masters had the exact same issues with white women having sex with black male slaves while those same white men were raping and breeding black female slaves daily...

what is truly MOST tragic is not that most black men have a rabidly and comically sexist double standard about interracial dating,

but that the black men you mentioned actually believe that they are NOT africans...
interracial dating and intercultural dating are NOT synonymous!

an african-american who dates a native african is ONLY dating interculturally, like a poor black person from ms who dates a
rich black person from nyc...

love is where you find it in any human of any race/gender...

but, clearly, self love is what is MOST rare for all lost african people in america and globally

shame!!!!

uptownsteve said...

"Thank God black women still support black men, no one else does."

Let me turn you on to a couple of websites that may make you rethink your position.

www.boycottblackmen.com

www.whataboutourdaughters.com

BTW, a lot of white women chase black men.

alicia banks said...

uts:

ditto

i respect all couples of all genders and races

i think white women love black men even more than black men love white women!

and that is not new...that has fueled lynchings for centuries

but i must also say

many black men (especially celebrities) adore white women too!!!

ie

i am repulsed daily by how kim kardashian is revered by black men while her black female clone
karrine steffans is only degraded by black men....shame!!!

ie

why is reggie bush a hero on the cover of essence (!!!???) as kk's man but darius mccrary is a "joke" for being karrine's man...

it is such a blatantly intraracist/oj double standard!!!

uptownsteve said...

"why is reggie bush a hero on the cover of essence (!!!???) as kk's man but darius mccrary is a "joke" for being karrine's man..."

Who said this?

I've read black women railing about Bush being on the cover of Essence.

And I like Darius Rucker a lot.

Even when he was with Hootie and the Blowfish.

ArtMaggot Hysteria said...

Just find love in your life and be happy.

alicia banks said...

uts:

u posted:

"i think certain sistas are creating this Trojan Horse ("I get grief for dating outside my culture") to rationalize why they aren't dating anybody"

when i read that
it hurt

just like all of all of the rap videos and lyrics that degrade women hurt when i watch them

why do so many black men seem to enjoy and celebrate the pain and loneliness of so many black women????

unlike any other race of men ever????

shame!!!

abbey lincoln:

"When a white man “likes colored girls”, his woman (the white woman) is the last one he wants to know about it. Yet, seemingly, when a Negro “likes white girls”, his woman (the Black woman) is the first he wants to know about it. White female rejects and social misfits are flagrantly flaunted in our faces as the ultimate in feminine pulchritude. Our women are encouraged by our own men to strive to look and act as much like the white female image as possible, and only those who approach that “goal” in physical appearance and social behavior are acceptable. At best, we are made to feel that we are poor imitations and excuses for white women."

"What I hate most is the rabid, repulsive, physical exploitation of the black female anatomy. When gay photographer Robert Maplethorpe exploited the black male anatomy in renowned still photos, protests abounded globally. But, when the subjects of such exploitation are black females, and they are lewdly animated and gyrating on film, I hear only silences. Silence is consent."



http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/post/black-love-gray-lies.html

http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/post/the-life-and-times-of-sara-baartman---on-saartjie-how-are-we-kept-by-our-brothers-1.html

alicia banks said...

uts:

darius rucker would never date a black woman...he has only wed white ones

it is the gorgeous black darius MCRARY who is engaged to karinne steffans

ditto re the bros who celebrate the pain of essence's readers who would equally reject oj simpson on the cover

i have never seen reggie bush with any black woman and he behaves like a clone of oj simpson

i adore quincy jones
he has had 4 white wives
but he has also dated many black women

quincy is nothing like reggie/oj!!!

and i think darius m is a sexy god like blair underwood!

and,
i am still waiting for you to answer by query re:
kk v. ks!!!

uptownsteve said...

ab

Why are Bush and Rucker vilified for wedding white women but Whoopi Goldberg and Diana Ross are not for wedding white guys?

I think they ALL display a certain level of self-hatred but there certainly is a double standard here slanted toward black women.

If not, why not?

Dawn on MDI said...

Field, you rock. Great post. Life is too short to turn up our noses at love when it presents itself, no matter what shade it might be wrapped in.

alicia banks said...

uts:

fyi:

remember when ryan o'neal dumped diana ross because he said she wanted to be "a white woman"???

darius rucker's wf ex-wife said the same thing about darius rucker!

ie

dr = once rock star/ now country music star/ always one of the most euro men in america...

uptownsteve said...

ab

"when i read that
it hurt"

Why? You have a partner don't you?

My remark was directed at these sisters who are looking for rationale to explain why they're alone and the answer is in the mirror.

It's got nothing to do with a shortage of "good men".

There are plenty of good brothers out here.

You get what you give in this world and if you give off nothing but negativity that is what you will recieve.

As I said before, all the sweet positive sisters I know are in meaniningful relationships with men.

I wonder why that is?

alicia banks said...

ab:

why do you have nothing to say about:

kk v. ks

_____

i think black women have dated so few white men BY comparison...that is why

until now
that is rapidly changing
black women are finally catching up with black women who date white men

ie
if black men saw diana ross on the cover of a bm mag, many of them would be hurt too

and that is why black men are complaining about so many black women dating white/latino men now

alicia banks said...

rushing as always!

i meant:

UTS:

why do you have nothing to say about:

kk v. ks

???????

alicia banks said...

re:

kk v. ks

why is it that any white whore like kk can become a pure virgin bride on any black man's arm....

but if a black whore like ks wore a white dress to wed dm those same black men would never stop joking???

why????

Anonymous said...

until now
that is rapidly changing
black women are finally catching up with black women who date white men


Really?

alicia banks said...

uts:

i am a lesbian
my wife is a clone of me
so that is moot

("you are gay" does not answer my question re kk v. ks!!!)

BUT

unlike you
even as a happily married lesbian,
i still care deeply about the pain of my het sistas

why do you and your ilk seem to orgasmically enjoy the pain of het black women??????

___

ps:

there are millions of lesbian and gay ojs too!

all human relationships are the same and endure the same issues/ills!

see my links above

alicia banks said...

anon/uts:

yes

really

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=615tkGkMyOU

http://photos.essence.com/galleries/color_blind_celebrities_in_interracial_relationships/page/6

Anonymous said...

Why are Bush and Rucker vilified for wedding white women but Whoopi Goldberg and Diana Ross are not for wedding white guys?


Probably because no matter where you go in America you'll see more black men with non-black women than black women with non-black men-it's farrr more prevalent.

You also hear prominent black men like Wesley Snipes, Ne-Yo, Yung Berg, Kanye West, etc. who publicly diss black women (or darker women.) You never hear their prominent black female counterparts doing that.

Nor do you see black women dumping black men for white men once they become famous. Though you hear about it allot when it comes to black men who make it big.

uptownsteve said...

ab


"i still care deeply about the pain of my het sistas"

So do I.

I want them to be happy. Which is why I think it would be helpful to honestly examine the source of their pain.

"why do you and your ilk seem to orgasmically enjoy the pain of het black women??????"

This is nonsense.

What a lot of black women want to hear from black men is "Yes, Yes you're right. We have been irresponsible, brutal, neglectful and any other pathology you want to name. Please forgive us and maybe, just maybe one day we will be worthy enough to walk in your slipstream!!"

This is one brother who has no guilty conscience and feels no need be absolved by black women.

As long as so many sisters continue to exclusively point fingers and refuse to self-reflect there will be a chasm between many black men and women.

uptownsteve said...

"Nor do you see black women dumping black men for white men once they become famous. Though you hear about it allot when it comes to black men who make it big."


That's only because white men generally don't pursue black women famous or not.

But black women will dump a brother they had a relationship with if they meet a rich brother.

Tom Joyner's present wife was once his physical trainer who was engaged to be married to an anonymous brother when Joyner put the moves on her.

She dumped the brother like a flat rock and left him for Joyner.

Just like that.

Stop the moral posturing.

Black women are of no higher moral fiber than men.

Stop it.

alicia banks said...

uts:

you are dead wrong

and feigning to be right/sincere will not absolve/mask your evil enjoyment of grieving lonely black women!!!

that is NOT what most sistas want to hear!

we want to hear

"we love and cherish and desire you as much as you love us...and we give you the SAME freedom to love whomever you choose just as we do"

even as a lesbian
i want to hear that platonically!

http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/videos/tags/black+women/ -

alicia banks said...

uts:

do you realize you STILL have not even penned a similar lie even to answer:

why is kk wife material???
and ks just a whore???

alicia banks said...

uts:

even diana ross dated smokey r and barry g

so even her cover would probably hurt less bm than rb/oj on the cover of essence hurts black women!

alicia banks said...

uts:

they are of no higher moral fiber

but they do love white men MUCH less than black men love whhite women

that is statistically undeniable

but those stats are swiftly changing

this is why so many white men feel they have to become black men to get white women

most women of all races prefer black men

uptownsteve said...

"we love and cherish and desire you as much as you love us"


My wife has heard that constantly for twenty two years.

I really don't see what the mystery is.

You give love, you get love.

It's that simple.

"do you realize you STILL have not even penned a similar lie even to answer:

why is kk wife material???
and ks just a whore???"

STRAWMAN.

Anonymous said...

most women of all races prefer black men

Really? Not Asian or white women, according to all known statistics. You shouldn't try and push your afrocentric ideals on others.

Secondly, white men can never become black men-begining and end of story. So, I imagine that will put an end to any thoughts of more black women dating white men.

alicia banks said...

uts:

you seem to be enjoying the pain of all the women who are NOT your wife far too much!

what you say/do to your wife will comfort no lonely sistas!

????"strawman"????

answer me:

kk v. ks?????
what????

alicia banks said...

uts:

you are completely clueless

too mant black women feel they get no love from black men they love unconditionally/suicidally/
masochistically solo/in vain etc...

if they got the love they gave
there would be no issue here!

avoidance and silly slogans wil not fly here uts...

uptownsteve said...

ab

"but they do love white men MUCH less than black men love whhite women

that is statistically undeniable"

That's bull$hit.

The difference is that white men are not nearly as receptive to black women as white women are to black men.

That's it.

You can make up any excuse you want.

If white men asked black women out they'd date 'em in a NY minute.

uptownsteve said...

"too mant black women feel they get no love from black men they love unconditionally/suicidally/
masochistically solo/in vain etc..."

I guess this is a case of two people looking at the same thing and seeing something totally different.

Agree to disagree.

Don said...

I never understood the entire people shouldn't date outside their race notion. One, it's ignorant. Two, it's suggesting that ...well, nevermind.

You summed it up perfectly:
My sisters, go on and do your thing. If it makes you happy and that person is your soul mate I am not mad at you. True love is too damn hard to find.

Be happy. Indeed.

alicia banks said...

uts:

you posted:

"The difference is that white men are not nearly as receptive to black women as white women are to black men."

again

white men adore black women
they even love the ones who do not look like beyonce and halle as most black men do exclusively


not only are you denying this

you seem to be enjoying a DUAL rejection

"we do not want those single bf rejects
and neither do white men"

wm chase black women MORE than black men chase white women...
and they have done so since the owned us as slaves!!!

it is why our diverse skin tones still evince centureies of rape!

they do not marry us because they do not want to breed themselves out of existence

they do not covet brown children the way black men covet yellow ones

that is the ONLY reason they do not wed us as often

they LOVE themselves too much to erase their white faces from their seed while self hating black men RUSH to erase their black faces from their seed
____

ps


kk v. ks?????????????

alicia banks said...

don:

thank you!

that is all that all sistas want to hear

peace,
ab

Anonymous said...

The difference is that white men are not nearly as receptive to black women as white women are to black men.

You are getting this a little backwards Steve; the man asks out the woman. It's well known that black women worship black men and are very loyal. If you were a non-black man, why would you waste your time? There are plenty of other groups of women-Latino, Asian etc. who are far more receptive to interracial dating than black women.

Like Ab said, a white man has to make himself like a black man to get a black woman?! Who's going to try and go through some bullshit like that? Sounds like a waste of time..

alicia banks said...

anon:

ditto

but many black women love wm who are as happy as themsleves

ie

channing tatum
&
nick lachey
& brad pitt

are 3 of the sexiest men on earth
who are NOT caricatures of black men

and brad and robin givens dayed until mike tyson scared him away

alicia banks said...

anon:

ps

most wm who become bm do so to date white women!...not black women

Anonymous said...

most wm who become bm do so to date white women!...not black women


You are going to need to explain this "become black men" to me. What in the hell does that mean?

alicia banks said...

anon:

most of the black women i know would never date a wm who acted like a bm

you misunderstood me

uptownsteve said...

"You are getting this a little backwards Steve; the man asks out the woman"

AAAAAANNND are white men asking black women out????

That's the issue.

If they were, black women would go out with them in a minute.

Who are you kidding?

I've seen it several times in my own personal life so spare me the "loyalty" bit.

There was an article in Essence a few years ago where a white guy in St Louis I believe posted a personal ad stating he was a "wm looking for romance with a bm".

The ad received over a 100 response within 24 hours.

Be for real.

alicia banks said...

anon:

white men who become sterotypical caricatures of sterotypical black men

ie
white "niggas" = "wiggas"

ie
eminem
paul walls
vanilla ice

etc

see more:

http://www.amazon.com/Everything-But-Burden-People-Culture/dp/076791497X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264177390&sr=8-1

alicia banks said...

uts:

white men are asking black women out and to be their wives more than ever before

and more of them are saying yes because of the hatred they feel from men like you than ever before also

your denial will reverse no rapidly changing stats!

Anonymous said...

this is why so many white men feel they have to become black men to get white women

So..white men have to become "wiggas" to get white women? I really have to disagree with you on that.

alicia banks said...

uts:

do you read your own posts????

you are saying

"no men want black women"
then
"one wm wanted one bf and for 1000 replies"


which?????

master said...

the great thing about being white is that we can get anything we want...and black women are generally not on that list.

alicia banks said...

anon:

there are exceptions to all rules

most people do not ever even think about dating osd of their race...like me

BUT

those who do
especially those under 25
all try to win white women who adore black men

ie
remember the movie
"kids"?
it caused a stir because all of the white kids called each other "nigger" throughout the entire film

as an educator i see this daily
i see young white females chase/rape black men daily

see:
http://www.amazon.com/Kids-Leo-Fitzpatrick/dp/B00004YA6G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1264177831&sr=8-1

this one caused a similar stir due to interracial sex:

http://www.amazon.com/Thirteen-Evan-Rachel-Wood/dp/B00013RC2K/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1264177923&sr=1-4

seen:
"the real world" on mtv?

the black males and white females are usually the 1st to jump into sex together

alicia banks said...

black women are changing their undying loyalty to black men rapidly

especially due to men like uts who seem to hate us all

alicia banks said...

uts:

Q:

who are the top 3 male sex symbol athletes today??

A:

tiger woods
charles barkley
mike jordan

all a posse

all adore white women exclusively
_____

kk v. ks????????

alicia banks said...

re: real world mtv

i have been a loyal fan since the first episode in 1992

but my fav episode is the las vegas cast

it was the only cast where the black females were wooed as the bm...even by the lone bm

and both were biracial halle types

shame

uptownsteve said...

ab

"who are the top 3 male sex symbol athletes today??

A:

tiger woods
charles barkley
mike jordan"

You are absolutely nuts.

Woods is a punchline. Barkley is another fat joke and Jordan is a has been.

Talk to anyone who follows sports and presently (after Tiger's self-destruction) the most recognized and admired athletes are Peyton Manning, Derek Jeter and LeBron James.

Closely followed by Dwayne Wade, Tom Brady and Shaquille O'Neal.

alicia banks said...

derek jeter is engaged to a wf

peyton is a wm

woods is STILL a gold god and the richest bm jock

and so is tom brady

cb is a retired legend
who locked himself in a hotel room with madonna for 3 days while he was wed to another long abused wf

when they exited
she said cb was god

brothers you listed who date/wed black women are as IRRELEVANT to this discussion as your wife and my wife!!!

yout tricks will not work today uts...too much real pain is relevant!!!

we are discussing ojs!
pay attn!

alicia banks said...

i meant

tom b is a wm

irrelevant again uts

i will not allow your renowned topical changes inliwu of debate today!

uptownsteve said...

ab

"especially due to men like uts who seem to hate us all"

How does disagreeing with you equate to hatred?

Your main problem with me is I am under no illusions about black women.

I've seen them in all facets.

When I think of the people who have been the warmest, kindest and most loving to me in my life, they have overwhelmingly been black women.

At the same time, when I think of the folks who gave me the most grief and done the dirtiest shit, they also have been black women.

You know why that is AB.

Because I've probably spent more time with black women than any other kind of folks.

It's called reality.

alicia banks said...

ps uts:

wf alyssa milano
almost filed a restraining order on shaq due to sexual harassment while so was wed to a bf

shaq's bf wife has finally filed for a final divorce after yrs of infidelity like the masochistic wf mrs barkley has yet to do

fyi

alicia banks said...

uts:

the reality is that you enjoy black women's pain dar too much

you deny that many wm love black women much more than you do

and i will not take any more of you wilding on black women's pain herein

alicia banks said...

uts:

it is not your disagreement...

it is your CONSTANT dismissal and vulgar elation about black female pain

"all single bfs deserve it...no men of any race want you etc..."

it is a common mantra for you herein

i am sick of it

and that very same hatred you always display is why so many bfs are no longer so loyal to bm

alicia banks said...

uts:

look at these young gorgeous physically flawles educated rich het black women?

look at their pain!!!

http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/videos/tags/black+women/


how can you be so cold and cavalier about their very real pain????????????

see more:

http://www.amazon.com/Sole-Sisters-Pains-Single-Black/dp/193284127X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264180325&sr=8-2

Anonymous said...

I watched that video on your site and found it quite interesting. But I noticed the consensus was they 'preferred' to marry a black man, which is fine; however, if you are a non-black man, why would you want to be with a woman who saw you as a second best choice?

alicia banks said...

anon:

are you a wm?

i know many bfs who love/are wed to wm who do not prefer bm or wiggas?

ie
halle berry
paul patton
alfre woodard
heather headley
etc
i agree

i am a lesbian who loves black femme clones exclusively

i only want someone who loves themselves and loves me as much as i love myself and love them

ditto!
NO ONE wants to be second choice

and men like reggie/oj/uts they make all black women feel like second choices...that is why so many black women are NOW choosing wm/latino men first!

Gregory said...

Field,
I think one of Truman Capote's quotes may be apropos here:

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."

Anonymous said...

Another good discussion tanked by AB and UTS spam.

alicia banks said...

assnon:

your typically profound and honest contribution herein is superior?

alicia banks said...

anyone please help uts:

kk v. ks????????

uptownsteve said...

AB

This is from one of my favorite blogs. "Diary of Tired Black Man".

Enjoy.

Black men are not the problem for these or any black women not being married. This unquestioned, loose- mass theoretical complaint of there being a shortage ‘good’ available black men as well as the iniquities of black men are grossly inaccurate and exaggerated to distract others from the real issue of: “ITS ALL ABOUT YOU…BOO”. How can these women or any woman say there are no good available black men when you are only looking for one man? Of course there are not going to be many available because everyone is not going to want you. Have you slept and been with every or many black men to make such a statement? Personal experience is just a reflection of your own limiting personal exposure, perceptions and choices which can never be used to accurately speak for nor label outside people and situations. This is called stereotyping which is a rushed way of saying you are inadequate in your understanding to relay the complete and full truth.

alicia banks said...

uts:

thanks for that exhibit B to add to your exhibit A!!

Nat Baudin said...

I was bias against Haitians for a while, but God had other thoughts for me and I married a beautiful Haitian man. He is Black and beautiful, and I am proud to be married to him. Once you know who you are, love will find you and if you are happy, then all others can go jump off a bridge.

maria said...

there are not enough good black men or good white men or ANY men, IMHO.

but that's fine. because at my age anyway, i am more focused on raising my real children, making a living, pursing other interests like local politics, instead of "raising" the men-children i have known in my life.

i have made many mistakes in my choice of men, and realized with age that few are strong enough to not feel threatened by me and all that i have accomplished in life. (if i can bench press more than you--mentally and physically-- watch out).

for those who are not alone by choice, i hope that you can find love in all its many forms, and not just in another person. and culture/race makes no difference to me.

uptownsteve said...

"i have made many mistakes in my choice of men, and realized with age that few are strong enough to not feel threatened by me and all that i have accomplished in life."

LMAO!!!!

They all made the right choice with you though, eh?

I wonder what it's like to live your life in a total delusion.

maria said...

why do you find that funny or think i'm delusional?

and many of them would tell you that they DID feel threatened by me. and that we were not a good match.

many men do want a weak woman. that's a fact.

uptownsteve said...

"and many of them would tell you that they DID feel threatened by me"

And I bet they wouldn't.

I bet they would say that you thought your butt smelled like honeysuckle, you always had to be right and they got tired of dealing with it.

maria said...

whatever, steve. sure, you're right. you've lived my life and you've talked to all my x's.

and funny, that description fits you.

incogman said...

Why don't you worthless blacks just move back to Africa and STFU?

uptownsteve said...

no sweetie.

I am all about self-reflection and so is my wife.

That's why our relation works.

I know that I can be arrogant, judgemental and bull-headed.

My wife knows what her shortcomings are.

We are in a constant state of conversation, evaluation and growth.

But you claim that all of your relationships failed because the men could not deal with how great you are.

That's not real Maria.

That's delusional.

Nina Simone said...

@ incogman

You all bought us here, and last time I checked it's been 400+ yrs and you have no receipt.

LACoincidental said...

Maria, you're my girl, but I have to with brother UTS on this one. It takes two to tango. Often sisters blame men for the end of relationships. Its not always just one party -- hell its rarely one party.

To the question at hand -- I just to give my grief for dating a white woman. But, honestly, I have rarely seen this man so at peace. Good and bad, that woman loves him wholly. And in life, that's all you can really ask for. That and good coffee.

alicia banks said...

maria:

ditto!

true love is rare for everyone

most men like uts prefer women weak/silent/dumb etc

ie
how many times are females on this blog told to "shut up" when we slay men herein etc????

may you find your soulmate asap

peace
ab

alicia banks said...

ps maria:

most butch lesbians are clones of men who prefer the same...

yet another reason my wife is a femme clone ofe me...

rottnkid said...

AB says:
i am repulsed daily by how kim kardashian is revered by black men while her black female clone
karrine steffans is only degraded by black men....shame!!!

-----------------------------
You're right. As far as Kim, I don't revere her per say, but I do revere that ass of hers! Karrine Steffans is either married or getting married to someone semi-famous. But she is still getting dogged out because of her past. Sad.

buckydent@mailinator.com said...

White women are considered the Cadillac of females. Everything in this society reinforces that notion.

Then why do I see Beyonce staring back at me from every newsstand in New York City?

Some folks who post here are blind to reality. It's frankly scary

alicia banks said...

rk:

thank you!

i wish both kk and ks eternal happiness with both men...but i am sick of the one side bashing by black men of the black ks!
____

bd:

i love bey but

beyonce is worshipped precisely because she looks whiter than her peers

colorism is rabidly real in black america just as it is in white america

that is why harry reid caught so much hell as all who tell truths always do!

Read this powerful, therapeutic, and eternally relevant book today. Here are a few excerpts from “Don’t Play in the Sun: One Woman’s Journey Through the Color Complex” by Marita Golden:



"I would have to write myself into being visible in a world dedicated to turning me into a phantom.

“Oscar told me tonight that he really liked me a lot, but that I was too dark for him to ever take home to his family as anything other than just a friend.”

Colorism knows no class boundaries in the Black community.

I am reeling with a sense of déjà vu as I recognize the kind of courtly contempt that I have sensed on other occasions, especially from older, colorist, class-conscious Blacks, who, finding themselves in social situations with a short Afro-wearing, brown-skinned woman like me, can barely contain their disappointment that a woman of my achievements (as an author and a professor) looks the way I do.

The young men would readily admit that they rarely used the word “pretty” to describe even the most attractive dark girl.

“Black women are now heavily into plastic surgery…we’ve launched a frenzy of lightening and whitening that I don’t understand…I woke up one morning and suddenly half the Black women I know are blondes.”

Black men and women still often choose their mates to ensure that their offspring will have “good hair”.

Hair is history. Hair is religion. Hair is politics.

You do not have to have braids down to your hips to be a pretty girl.

But the near rapturous anointing of [Halle] Berry as a safe and acceptable symbol of beauty and sexuality is rooted in Whites’ perception of her as much more White than Black.

Brothers everywhere, it seemed, were jumping into bed with Miss Anne.

“I think it is symbolically very significant that Michael Jackson, after introducing a vehicle, the music video, that promotes colorism and the supremacy of White standards of beauty, proceeds to remove any and all vestiges of his identity as a Black man.”

We are always alone when we find the truth.

Dark skinned Black girls had better have attitude. That’s the only thing that saves them in a world that pretends they’re not there or tries to erase them.

I love this anger that has driven me to write this book as a prayer, a scream, and a poem to my sisters dark and light…for every book that I have ever written has sprung from a question or a wound."


http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/post/clarity-on-colorism---on-dont-play-in-the-sun.html

uptownsteve said...

"most men like uts prefer women weak/silent/dumb etc"

Nah, we just don't regard big mouths and attitudes as signs of strength.

Like Otis used to say....

"Try a little tenderness"

You'll be surprised how nice bruthas can be when you're sweet.

rottnkid said...

Anonymous said...

most women of all races prefer black men

Really? Not Asian or white women, according to all known statistics.

10:57 AM
-------------------------------

Evidently you've never been in the military. Those statistics would be shot to hell - trust me. The last white girl I date makes well over 100k a year (she's in finance - should stayed with that!), she looked like Barbie (the kind you white boys like) From the looks and of her and the way she carries herself you would have never guessed she dated black men. My current girlfriend is 100% off the boat German and once again you would have never guess she liked dark meat too,oh and and she make plenty of money also. You'd be real surprised who these white girls date. Me just imagine Turbo from "Breakin'" the movie at 39 yo..lol

alicia banks said...

uts:

only weak sexist fools like you equate "tenderness" with being silent and dumb doormats/robots/bimbos/morons...

nothing is as sweet or tender as the caress of a lioness who becomes a kitten at your will...ask my regal wife

bet you and tiger could be cool bros...he likes them really dumb too...bet he hates they did not remain silent though...

uptownsteve said...

"But the near rapturous anointing of [Halle] Berry as a safe and acceptable symbol of beauty and sexuality is rooted in Whites’ perception of her as much more White than Black."

Halle Berry never did anything for me.

Give me N'Bushe Wright.

This is my kind of woman.

http://www.allmegastar.com/photo/n_bushe_wright_blade_002.html

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4SUNA_enUS285US293&q=n%27bushe+wright+pics

alicia banks said...

rk ditto:

bet he never heard all those rappers like nas and 2 live crew rapping about asians too...

billy dee williams, dave chappelle, and wesley snipes, and
wayne brady etc....

all have asian wives

alicia banks said...

oops!
not nas
i meant nelly
"ei"

alicia banks said...

uts:

we agree nw is a 10!

and if she/her clones are lonely and single their collective pain should never evoke the elation and cruelty you consistently flaunt!

uptownsteve said...

c'mon ab.

There is no doubt N'Bushe's got a man.

She's too fine NOT to.

Brothers don't let women like her walk alone.

They lock 'em down.

Anonymous said...

Evidently you've never been in the military. Those statistics would be shot to hell - trust me. The last white girl I date makes well over 100k a year (she's in finance - should stayed with that!)


1.9% of married White women and 2.2% of married White men had a non-White spouse. 1.0% of all married White men were married to an Asian American woman, and 1.0% of married White women were married to a man classified as "other".

alicia banks said...

"There is no doubt N'Bushe's got a man.

She's too fine NOT to.

Brothers don't let women like her walk alone.

They lock 'em down"

see???
again uts -you insult and degrade all with glee!

nw is no more fine/educated/rich than the sista 10s in the video you denied...and 1000s more who are alone...

they are invisible to many bros like tiger and reggie who never even glance at sista 10s!

alicia banks said...

uts:

real men don't need mute bimbos

http://www.theroot.com/views/scott-brown-s-negro-dialect

maria said...

i never said that was the only reason my relationships (and there was basically two major ones), and give me some props--i blame myself for choosing the wrong men. i said i made mistakes.

that is not delusional at all--it's pretty self-aware.

i don't see many folks accepting ANY blame at all.

sorry to jack this thread.

uptownsteve said...

BTW ab

Isn't this Karrine Steffans the notorious "Superhead"!!!!!

And your championing her cause?

She's the patron saint of video hoes!

alicia banks said...

uts:

{i could not slay you more easily if i tried (thanks!!!)}:

KK v. KS???????

HOW IS KK ANY LESS
"the patron saint of video hoes!"???????

?????????????????

uts:

you are the quintessential black neocon...as elitist and racist as you are sexist....a tragic trology indeed!

alicia banks said...

uts

you are a tragic TRILOGY indeed!

you bash single black women ruthlessly and incessantly

you ignore/revere kim k

you dog karinne s

black men adore the whore kim k even as they dog her whore clone karinne s

just like you do!
shame!!!!!

alicia banks said...

uts:

kim k has her own XXX sex videos with ray j

even as bros like you ONLY talk about karinne's tv videos

shame!!!

uptownsteve said...

I never said anything about Kim Kardashian whom I think is a skank as well.

And you can add Britney Spears and Paris Hilton to the skank patrol as well.

You're all projection AB.

You're the one trying to make Superhead a victim.

She's no victim. She's a predator.

Best of luck Darius.

You'll need it.

Anonymous said...

uts, "All the sweet, attractive, personable, supportive sisters I know are in successful committed relationships with men.

And the ones who claim they can't find anybody?

Y'all do the math."

Beautifully said. I am surprised that the great angry complainers about bm haven't chastised you for your remark. Guess your remarked nailed them before they could comment.

alicia banks said...

uts:

why do you not wish reggie luck with his whore kk too????

will he not need it too????

superhead is a victim of favoritism by bros who favor their whores white like kim k...bros who refuse to judge kim k as they do her...bros like you!!!

alicia banks said...

assnon:

and you and uts are indeed "blaming victims"

shame!

alicia banks said...

uts:

ks never raped any black man she wooed

just like kk did not rape ray j/reggie/nick cannon etc

fyi

alicia banks said...

uts

correction:

the predators are the groupie hungry horny celebs that kk and ks play....

ks is an entrpreneur/author!!!

she gets paid to do the kissing and telling that whorish married men do for free...

fyi

Anonymous said...

N'Bushe is indeed amazing-especially in Dead Presidents. She is not married though.

uptownsteve said...

"ks is an entrpreneur/author!!!"

ROTFLMBAO!!!!!!

You're too much AB!

Have a great weekend!

alicia banks said...

uts:

you have a wonderful weekend too!

i bet karrine will be spending the weekend getting paid and rekindling flames with sexy darius...or maybe her wm ex bill maher?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=a9_sc_1?rh=i%3Astripbooks%2Ck%3Akarrine+steffans&keywords=karrine+steffans&ie=UTF8&qid=1264199194

alicia banks said...

anon:

thanks!
i never heard she was

which debunks uts' myths about black single women once again

A Person of Interest said...

AB, you certainly throw the term "whore" around awful loosely. (pun intended)

alicia banks said...

apunymanwhoreoi:

only you loosely logical whores really mind it though...

so...no BIGGIE (no pun applicable you tiny drone!)

Anonymous said...

The Alicia Banks Troll is tiresome! Why won't it go away? Why?!

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

I have never really paid attention to who BM date because they just are not on my radar and it is their business. I've dated Africans, Jamaicans,etc. But I like other kinds of men too. People date who they like and who like them.

Live and Let Live

istat said...

have made many mistakes in my choice of men

Well if you knew and loved yourself that would not have happened...you got some work to do Maria. And I bet those guys think they made mistakes too....just like a typical sista, blame the brotha...which is why we date white women.

Anonymous said...

nobody says, " I wanna grow up and be a negro"

Anonymous said...

I wonder what Michelle Obama's family and friends thought of that guy she was dating with the odd African name Barack Hussein Obama?

Seriously I can't believe we are still considering this an issue in 2010. I dated a Nigerian while in college and he was one of the smartest, most thoughtful men I have ever known. And if Barack Obama had a single brother I would marry him in a heart beat.

mellaneous said...

Hey Field as you probably are aware I stay away from non-political posts along with a few others that I just stay out of because I think its much ado about nothing.

But I wanted to just say that I like your open minded approach on interacial dating. You are right true love is too hard to come by to limit your opportunity to grasp it when it comes your way.

I understand some concerns however. It grieves me to no end when black folks act prejudiced toward other cultures and races. Its also incredible considering all the hell that black folks have caught for just being black.

The only issue I have with interacial dating is when its done out of self-hatred. I have a really hard time with folks who marry someone outside the race who have no appreciation for the race,and sometimes hold a dim view of black folks, but they just like you because you are not like the rest of them.

I had a friend who was married to a racist white woman. I had another friend whose white wife and her friends would denigrate me because I was an active fighter for civil and human rights. They interpreted fighting against racism and injustice as being anti-white. Which was incredible Field since I had known these folks since college. But they didn't want to understand they were looking for a way to make it somehow a personal attack on them.
Strange stuff indeed.


I have also witnessed black women who date white men for primarily materialistic reasons and who turn their nose up at black men. I have seen that more often in black women from the Carribean and sometimes in upper class black women and black women who have grown up in primarily white environments.

I have a young friend who dates white guys primarily. She has had a white boyfriend who treated her like dirt and when she left him he stalked her and acted totally disrespectful toward her and her new black boyfriend. It was bizarre. But she went back to him and when I asked her why, after all he had put her through she was still going back to him. She couldn't answer, but I suspect it had something to do with his whiteness and her inherent sense of inferiority and low self esteem.

I say more power to you if you find someone who loves you, but I think that the prospective partner needs to know that your culture is important to you and helps define you whether you like it or not.

Anonymous said...

Anon, "And if Barack Obama had a single brother I would marry him in a heart beat."

Just like that? Without even knowing him or caring if he cared about you?

Anonymous said...

White boys are so pretty
Skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty
Hair like Chinese silk

White boys give me goose bumps
White boys give me chills
When they touch my shoulder
That's the touch that kills

Well, my momma calls 'em lilies
I call 'em Piccadillies
My daddy warns me stay away
I say come on out and play

White boys are so groovy
White boys are so tough
Every time that they're near me
I just can't get enough

White boys are so pretty
White boys are so sweet
White boys drive me crazy
Drive me indiscreet

White boys are so sexy
Legs so long and lean
Love those sprayed-on trousers
Love the love machine

My brother calls 'em rubble
That's my kind of trouble
My daddy warns me "no no no"
But I say "White boys go go go"

White boys are so lovely
Beautiful as girls
I love to run my fingers
And toes through all their curls

Give me a tall
A lean
A sexy
A sweet
A pretty
A juicy
White boy

....that is all...

Anonymous said...

Anon11:23p, go get 'em if they'll have you.

maria said...

i am white. which the long-time posters on this blog and its owner know. field has given me HHN status.

i find it funny that you'd think white women are superior to the way i am thinking. you think i'm black. that's either sexism, a touch of racism, or both!

maria said...

and i was NOT "blaming the brother." i was blaming MYSELF. i stuck with guys way longer than i should have, esp. my former H, because i had three young kids.

nappy said...

that's either sexism, a touch of racism, or both!

Which is why brothas should not date white women bitch.

maria said...

hey, nappy, read what i was responding to. the guy was saying that was why he dated white woman. your comment makes no sense.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

maria:

Ignore them! At least you are willing to admit your mistakes. That's a plus! Because a lot of folks would place the blame solely on their ex-mate and overlook their own faults in why a relationship didn't work. It takes two to tango as my mother used to say. Marriage is a learning experience just like anything else. It depends on what you willing to learn. People that stayed together until death do them part had to get over a lot of humps and bumps to maintain that marriage. It wasn't always peaches and cream but it does get better with time and like wine as it ages, it mellows out.

Mack Lyons said...

and many of them would tell you that they DID feel threatened by me. and that we were not a good match.

many men do want a weak woman. that's a fact.


And many women tend to demonstrate how "strong" and "independent" they are by taking on domaneering and overbearing personalities. I doubt any man would want to be treated with contempt, disrespect or just outright being treated like a child. And yeah, I know I'm gonna get flak for this comment, but to be honest, I don't care anymore. *dons flame suit*

Why don't you worthless blacks just move back to Africa and STFU?

Why don't you go put a gun in your mouth and kill yourself? Seems you subconciously regard yourself as worthless -- why not commence with the ultimate act of declaring your nonexistant self-worth instead of calling others worthless?

maria said...

it's not possible or necessary to dissect my failed marriage here, but i can assure you it did NOT end because i was domineering or because i disrespected my man. quite the opposite. as i have said earlier, my x could not deal with having 3 kids, including a set of twins.

thank you, granny. i was married 22 years. and we aged more like moldy cheese than fine wine! i hope that you enjoy a good union, as you surely deserve that.

Anonymous said...

Maria, thanks for sharing. You are not alone in failed marriages. The US has a 60-70 percent divorce rate. We are a nation where serial monogamy is the norm.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Maria:

I am a widow but when my husband was living we got a long pretty good, we were each others best friend. We had our fair share ups and downs and arguments. But with them we had good communication, were willing to meet each other half way, and work it out together.

Teeth and tongue fall out sometimes too. (smile)

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Mack:

"And many women tend to demonstrate how "strong" and "independent" they are by taking on domaneering and overbearing personalities. I doubt any man would want to be treated with contempt, disrespect or just outright being treated like a child."

You telling the truth!

Anonymous said...

Mack-"And many women tend to demonstrate how "strong" and "independent" they are by taking on domaneering and overbearing personalities. I doubt any man would want to be treated with contempt, disrespect or just outright being treated like a child. And yeah, I know I'm gonna get flak for this comment, but to be honest, I don't care anymore. *dons flame suit*"

Right on, brother. It is true and the reason why some women are alone...You must be talking about the gang who are boycotting bm and the three on this blog. Everyone knows who they are. I would call out their names but I need a new flame suit.

Mack, keep that flame suit on. LOL

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:46

Got one....thanks...

chicago dyke said...

way late to this party, oh well.

i'm a product of a mixed "race" marriage. i don't subscribe to the social construction of race, as a result. it's really stupid, from the perspective of science. i also don't subscribe to the notion that all "black" people share a common culture. we share lots with each other that we don't share with "white" people, but i prefer to look at that from the economic and political viewpoint more than i do a sociological one.

people should fuck who they want, date who they want, and marry who they want, if any. i believe this is true for people regardless of "color," gender, identity, religion and orientation. if we really lived in a free society, everyone would be able to make their own choices. but legally, as well as socially, we tolerate inequality, often putting on the chains ourselves.

in my experience, black americans and jews are the groups that get the most touchy about in-group relationships. ymmv. koreans are also pretty bad in this respect.

uptownsteve said...

Tell it Mack.

uptownsteve said...

ab

"look at these young gorgeous physically flawles educated rich het black women?

look at their pain!!!

http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/videos/tags/black+women/


how can you be so cold and cavalier about their very real pain????????????"

I watched that video and much of their "pain" comes from these sisters being totally unrealistic about their prospects and themselves.

One of them actually said that for the longest she wouldn't date anyone shorter than
6'3?!!?

She wasn't that tall or fine herself!!!

AB, tell the truth.

If some brother said that he wouldn't date anyone but "long-haired redbones", you would think he was a total jerk.

What's the difference?

alicia banks said...

uts:

she said she let go of that silly ht rule...and she is still alone!

and i think they all are 10s
including her

to each their own

alicia banks said...

assnon et al:

real men do not bash strong smart women

and i am certain that i can speak for whomever "the 3 women" herein are...

NONE of them would ever date ANY of you...especially lesbian ME!!

good riddance!...

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