Saturday, September 12, 2015

CAPTION SATURDAY.


*
I need a caption for this pic.

Example: Ted, can you warm the limo up for me? Thanks big guy. I got this.

*Pic from abcnews.go.com.

37 comments:

lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: Get outta my way Taco Bell, I'm gonna win this thing!

Cruz: I'm not Taco Bell I'm Cuban you d*******!

Trump: Oh, m'kay then, get outta my way burrito, before I kick you!

Cruz: (getting agitated) Mr.Trump! I AM NOT MEXICAN! I AM OF THE CUBAN PERSUASION! NOW PLEASE STOP CALLING ME TACO BELL!

Trump: (Unflustered)Oh, sorry cigar nose! Now get outta my way Fidelito!







lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: You shoulda worn a jacket kid! You're standing in front of the next POTUS!

lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: I'll be building a wall soon son! I'll show you to the door first!

Now just get outta the way, move it!

Lili said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: Okay kid you did your thing for my Latino vote, not go, you're stealing my thunder!

ctrl+halt+del said...

Olè

lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: Yeah,yeah,yeah, I know I know,Fidelito, you didn't finish your speech! Whine, whine,whine! Just leave, scat, vamoose, andale, andale! Your job is done here! Can I deport you?

Cruz: (Thinks) "This summomaab****!"

lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: Go cigarnose, go see where all the field hands are hiding! Where the heck are they?

The only one here is lilac! I gotta give that woman a job on my staff! Go, go, don't make me push you! Jeez, Hispanics are so lazy! Gosh, I think I'll deport you!

Cruz: Thinking: *This m************!!!

lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: Go cigarnose, go see where all the field hands are hiding! Where the heck are they???

The only one here is lilac! I gotta give that woman a job on my staff! Go,go, don't make me push you! Jeez, Hispanics are so lazy! Gosh, I think I'll deport you!

Cruz: Thinking: *This m************!!!

lilacpr2000 said...

Excuse the double post. The internet here is all but gone...it rained! xD

Y'all gotta admit the last one is funny, I'm still cracking up!

See Field, I'm a comedian! x*D

and there's more where that came from! :)

Haven't touched the hair yet!!!

lilacpr2000 said...

Trump: Go Fideito,go! Go consult that James Mack guy, I think your wife's leaving you too!

Cruz thinking: This yankee m***********! gringo b******! Why'd I ever decide to help him?!

Trump: I know what you're thinking, and you know what, Go back to Cuba!

lilacpr2000 said...

Bedtime for me guys! Nitey nite!

Anonymous said...

Well, Ted, you're a Canadian AND a Latino ... so I'm going to let you choose which direction I deport you once I become president.

The Donald is generous like that.

Anonymous said...

Trumpster: I'm afraid you're going to have to leave this stage. My staff tell me the stage is weight-rated for only one monster-sized ego, so we can't both be up here at once.

Anonymous said...

Lord Weird Hair: It's Thursday. Does that mean it's my day to pretend Obama is an oppressive tyrant and yours to pretend he's a secret jihadi? Or is it the other way around?

Anonymous said...

Oompa Loompa Supreme: Ted, I just want you to know that I think we both fought our hardest for the title of Loudest, Stupidest, Phoniest Clown in America, and the only reason I won the title is because I'm so great.

Anonymous said...

Master of Corporate Bankruptcy: Hey, Ted, I've got a new catchphrase. Instead of "YOU'RE FIRED!" I'm now going with "YOU'RE FOREIGN!" How's that sound?

Anonymous said...

Donald Trump: Bill Clinton was a truly great politician. He could embrace you and steal your wallet, cop a feel off your wife and you would still somehow like him.

Ted Cruz: Hillary Clinton is the soulless dumb heiress bitch Bill Clinton married to fund his initial entry into politics. She is now big fat drunken carpet munching bag of balls. Bill Clinton is a very good liar, an extraordinarily good liar. Hillary Clinton is a terrible liar. Whenever something bad happens in her vicinity, she goes into damage control mode which immediately leads everyone to assume that she deliberately caused that bad thing. Nothing stuck to Bill. Everything sticks to Hillary. Even cooch stink.

Donald Trump: Bill Clinton was a very good politician. Hillary Clinton is hopelessly incompetent, and particularly bad at politics.

Ted Cruz: So why is the Cathedral preparing to enthrone Clinton the Second?

Donald Trump: The Cathedral is stupid and getting stupider, in part because everyone is required to believe ever sillier things with ever greater sincerity.

Ted Cruz: Time put a cap in their motherfucking heads.

Anonymous said...

Donald Trump: The voices of the Cathedral from time to time say I will not be allowed to win, revealing the managed nature of democracy.

Ted Cruz: All the other candidates are ladyboys, revealing as well both the managed nature of democracy and the emasculating nature of progressivism. Also revealing that the Republican party is the outer party, a fake managed opposition. It makes “cuckservative” a devastatingly effective insult, linking their base traitor politics to their conspicuous lack of masculinity.

Donald Trump: The voices of the Cathedral from time to time say that if I win, I will not be allowed to govern, revealing that they regard legislature and executive as mere theater, a meaningless show performed while the important people take care of the important stuff.

Ted Cruz: Best of all, every time you open your mouth, you widen the Overton Window.

Donald Trump: Wide enough to drive a motherfucking Mack truck through.

Anonymous said...

Donald Trump: The polls indicate that I am going to be the Republican candidate, and going to win, going to be the next president.

Ted Cruz: This will substantially be due to the fact you will get a lot more black and Hispanic votes than Republicans usually do, which is to say, a lot of votes from those who are most directly hurt by illegal immigration.

Donald Trump: The Cathedral attitude is that the voters are throwing a silly temper tantrum, which will be ignored. It is possible that they will declare my election unconstitutional, because 'racism', but more likely that they will just carry on as if I am not president, because 'racism'.

Ted Cruz: That is pretty much what happened when Kevin Rudd attempted to stop illegal immigration to Australia and deport illegal immigrants. Totally failed. This is what Jorge Ramos means when he says your plan is unworkable. The country is ruled by priests, not politicians, and Jorge is a priest and you are not. However, Kevin Rudd’s efforts eventually made possible Tony Abbot's efforts. Tony Abbot just ignored the judges and used the military directly.

Donald Trump: At one point the judges ruled that a bunch of Tamil illegal immigrants from India could not be expelled, unless their asylum status was checked with the Indian government. Tony Abbot readily agreed, since it is ridiculous for anyone to claim asylum from the Indian government these days. Then the judges pulled a switcheroo – their asylum status could not be checked unless they consented to it be being checked. Within minutes, air force commandos were stuffing the Tamils onto air force planes, which proceeded to fly the Tamils to some place far from Australia, with total disregard for Australian court rulings, supposed international law, and such. The judges hair caught fire, only metaphorically, unfortunately, but since then they have been mighty quiet, and have stopped trying to meddle. Warriors 1, priests 0.

Ted Cruz: You can do anything with bayonets except sit on them. At some point we will find out whether soldiers obey priests or presidents.

Donald Trump: Yes we motherfucking will.

Anonymous said...

Ted Cruz: Why do so many immigrants come to America only to bitch about it? I mean, apart from the obvious answer, which is that conditions here are far better than they were in the hellholes they were fleeing, plus they get lots of free stuff and cuddles here. What does it say about a person’s character that they move from a lousy country to come here, only to wind up endlessly wailing about how lousy this country is?

Donald Trump: I’ve seen such behavior from African, Indian, Mexican, and Asian immigrants to America, and it only seems to be intensifying. What’s baffling is the fact that even though I’m supposed to be a rude insensitive xenophobic intolerant racist dick, it would never occur to me to move to Africa, India, Mexico, or Asia and act with anything beyond respect, gratitude, and even caution. I certainly wouldn’t start running my neck about how the culture of my new host nation sucks and how it needs to be tossed into the dustbin of history and how the majority needs to quickly become a minority or justice will never be served. I simply can’t find it within myself to be that much of an asshole. And I certainly wouldn’t expect my new hosts to tolerate five seconds of such behavior.

Ted Cruz: Yet many if not most native-born white Americans not only put up with this nonsense, they feel it’s their moral duty to be as obsequious, masochistic, and suicidal as possible. It doesn’t matter if their standard of living is noticeably worse than it was for their parents. Doesn’t matter if full-time jobs with benefits are harder to come by. Doesn’t matter if their country’s media and educational institutions insult them incessantly and openly gloat about their demographic extinction. You’re supposed to suck it up and smile while they’re laughing and kicking you in the teeth, or else you’re a bad person.

Donald Trump: The truth is, if any of these invaders truly thought this country was so brutally racist, they’d be afraid to so much as open their mouths. Rather, they smell blood. If you really fear someone, you aren’t constantly maligning them. Instead, they sense palpable weakness, and they’re dogpiling on top it.

Ted Cruz: The crucial difference between the recent swell of immigration to America and all previous waves is the open hostility to the very idea of the USA. That is unprecedented, and it turns all special pleadings that we’re “a nation of immigrants” into a howlingly false equivalency. We should turn those ingrates into outgrates.

Donald Trump: I won’t place the primary blame on the immigrants, whether they’re legal or not. Anyone who’s freely offered a better life would be a fool not to seize it. But it’s their enablers—the ones who occupy the upper echelons of American finance and political power who have ceased to conceal their disdain for the average hapless American—who need to be deported.

Ted Cruz: Let's motherfucking get on it.

Anonymous said...

Ted Cruz: It's forbidden to speak of it in such terms, but the premature triumphalism of non-whites regarding what they see as the inevitable demographic damnation of white America bears all the marks of betrayal.

Donald Trump: Not even the most fervently liberal white - excluding the Alinsky-ite radicals, who really gave us fair warning - of fifty years ago would have thought, much less said, that the success of the unprecedented opening up of American society and politics to minority groups did not entail--indeed, depend on--a concomitant effort on the part of those groups to live up to their end of the bargain--to not destroy this wonderful system we had built.

Ted Cruz: We've let them into our house and now they're setting it on fire.

Donald Trump: Time to put that motherfucking fire out.

Anonymous said...

The Demagogue of the Trumpenproletariat: You know, Cruz Dog, I feel honored to stand together with you to stop this very scary Iran deal -- which has already passed, and is therefore now unstoppable. Let us congratulate ourselves on our world-class proficiency in wasting everyone's fucking time.

Anonymous said...

Donald Trump: Yo, Teddy - you're pretty Jesusy, maybe you could help me make the philosophical case for the the Christian underpinnings of Western liberty.

Ted Cruz: All day long, my nigga.

Donald Trump: In what way is Christianity a factor in establishing freedom? Or perhaps in other words, what is the relationship between religion and liberty?

Ted Cruz: The Bible teaches us that man is created in the image of God, in spite of original sin, as in Genesis 8:21, “Man’s mind from his childhood tends toward evil.” Of course, God is very different from man, but not totally. See, if we are like God, then God is like us in some ways. God is the Creator; we are also creators. If you paint a picture, or write a book, or plant a garden, or even make a pair of really first-rate shoes, then you are a creator. Animals create, yes, but automatically. Think of an ant-heap, if you like; this kind of activity is automatic, but man’s is different. He is a creator.

Donald Trump: I create a lot of controversy.

Ted Cruz: Yes, and that's all cool. Christianity has a personalistic theology, which is very important. The word person comes not, as Jacques Maritain thought, from per se, meaning “by itself,” but from the Etruscan word phersú, which was the mask of the actor. The mask gave a specific role to the actor on the stage. So, life is a grand game, a great play of God in which we are actors. We play with God. We have a responsibility to play our roles, which God might have chosen, but which we are acting with our own lights, on our own behalf, prayerfully trying to comply to His great game and fulfill our destiny and our task here on earth. Now, if man is a creator and a persona, he needs the possibilities to exercise his creativeness, and for that he needs freedom. Here, then, is the demand for freedom. This is a discovery that Hayek – whom I knew very well, indeed – made very much at the end of his life. In his last book he suddenly sees that religion has something to do with freedom, a discovery that Mises did not make. The realization that religion can make a demand for freedom is very important.

Donald Trump: Would it be fair to say, then, that the principle of the Imago Dei is the foundation upon which freedom rests?

Ted Cruz: That’s right; we have been created in the image of God.

Donald Trump: What then is Christianity’s role in the preservation of freedom? If Christianity provides principles that establish freedom, how does Christianity conserve freedom in a society?

Ted Cruz: Christians should speak out when they see measures that unnecessarily restrict freedoms; they should protest publicly in the name of freedom and in the name of the Christian faith. I must here emphasize that the formula is as much freedom as is reasonably possible, but only as much intervention as is absolutely necessary, you see, with the maximum of the former and the minimum of the latter.

Donald Trump: The difficulty is doing that in a democratic framework where the vast majority of people live very materialistically and therefore choose interventions from above – from the state – which bring them advantages. In such a system, the people say to the parties, “We will vote for you if you give us material advantages (which might be handouts) and if you give us freedoms (which might be totally immoral, like abortion and so on).” In other words, the people blackmail the parties, and the parties are eager, eager, eager to get the majority’s votes, votes, votes. And it goes the other way around, with the parties bribing the people and declaring: “If you vote for us, you’ll get that and we’re committed to this.” It’s what I call the BB gun–bribing and blackmailing, blackmailing and bribing.

Ted Cruz: This leads us nowhere.

Donald Trump: Nowhere but hell.

Ted Cruz: Let's stop this motherfucking train now.

field negro said...

Anon@11:09, is the leader into the clubhouse so far.
Shout out to lilacpr for giving it a hell of a shot. :)

I like anon@1:26 as well.

Anon above, I love the effort.

Anonymous said...

Would ya cool it with the religious stuff, Ted. Calm the fuck down about kooky gay marriage clerks and planned parenthood. That shit is killin' us.

lilacpr2000 said...

Thank you Field! I also love all the other captions, a lot of them I don't understand! But I love them anyway :)

and the day is young yet!

lilacpr2000 said...

Okay here's my last one:


Trump: Okay Fidelito go find somebody to rape or what ever it is you Hispanics do in your spare time will ya? Hehehe!

Cruz: This m************ summomabich!

lilacpr2000 said...

My VERY lastest one! I promise!!! 'cos I'm going out xD

Trump: Go put on a jacket Fidel,you can't be my vice-president dressed like that!

Yeezus! these South of The border people think they're still in their banana republics!

Cruz thinks: This m*********** gringo, pendejo! Why God why? was I chosen by my party for this. Where have I gone wrong?

I'll put on a jacket when you comb that rats nest you call hair!

Bill said...


lilacpr2000 said...
Trump: Go Fideito,go! Go consult that James Mack guy, I think your wife's leaving you too!


Anyone can be funny.

To win caption contests on FieldNegro blog you have to be funny and relevant.

We've got a winner.

Ohmigosh said...

If Trumpet gets the presidency, he won't have to worry about immigration. Folks will be leaving this dump in droves.

Anonymous said...

This caption game is rigged. It's as crooked as the stock market.

I have been playing this game for some time and I KNOW I should have won several times. Or at least, received "honorable mention".

Nope, didn't even get recognition. As a bm I am tired of trying to win against such odds.

It's effing depressing.

depressed negro

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
This caption game is rigged. It's as crooked as the stock market.

I have been playing this game for some time and I KNOW I should have won several times. Or at least, received "honorable mention".

Nope, didn't even get recognition. As a bm I am tired of trying to win against such odds.

It's effing depressing.

depressed negro
--------------------
You don't win 'cause you are black.

lilacpr2000 said...

@ Bill: XOXOXOXO :)

PilotX said...

I like lots of ice in my drink. Uh yeah I know you're not the waitstaff but what does that matter? Now on de lay or however you people say it.

lilacpr2000 said...

PilotX said...

Now on de lay or however you people say it.

12:24 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahahahaa!

Ohmigosh said...

Don't laugh at me too hard because I have a dead squirrel on my head, I'm the color of my tie and my neck's dragging the ground. I have money from my daddy, so I'm important. Mentality's high school quality butI have money from my daddy. I'm a rich bitch.