It's Super Tuesday in wingut world, and other than the cable news pundits and political junkies, no one really cares. Flipper will continue his inevitable march towards the GOP nomination, and the rest of the candidates will hang in until their fat cat benefactors tell them to go and get a real job.
I actually want to blog about something much more important tonight: the 100th anniversary of the Oreo cookie! That little treat is as A-merry-can as apple pie.
So anywhoo, in honor of A-merry-ca's favorite cookie, I would like to award some of my fellow Negro A-merry-cans with the first ever Oreo. (Kind of like the Oscars but less acting involved.)
1. Beyonce- This Diva gets two Oreos. She would have named that crumb snatcher White Ivy if she had her way.
2. Allen West- Allen gets three Oreos. Allen wants to be on the republican ticket as VP, but I don't think they want to run two white guys this time around.
3. Larry Elder-Three Oreos for Larry. Larry actually wrote a book called "Stupid Black Men." Yes he did.
4. Jesse Lee Peterson- I was just on Jesse's show so I am only going to give him one Oreo. Jesse actually said that "black racists elected Obama." Poor Jesse. I actually feel sorry for the guy.
5. O.J. Simpson-Juice never really cared much for you Negroes until he killed his wife and needed you all to set him free. Now Juice is where he belongs. I wonder if he hooked up with the Aryans in prison. Four Oreos for O.J.
6. Herman Cain- Herman, I notice that all your jump offs had one thing in common. Four Oreos for Herman.
7. Every black Tea Party member in A-merry-ca-What do you think all those Tea Party folks are going to do when they get bored with Obama? Five Oreos for you Negroes.
8. Thomas Sowell-Thomas probably doesn't even eat Oreos. At least not the cookie part. Four Oreos for Thomas.
9. Tiger Woods- No comments needed. Five Oreos for Tiger.
10. Niger Innis- Maybe it's his name. Anyway, Niger says that "Obama has failed the country." I am guessing that Niger wouldn't say that about a white president. Three Oreos for Niger.
Congrats on your Oreos, folks! Now go out and drink lots of milk.
BTW, I am live-tweeting Super Tuesday. @thefieldnegro
Showing posts with label Super Tuesday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Super Tuesday. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Monday, March 05, 2012
A man purse, Super Tuesday, and going gun crazy.
Honestly, what is wrong with the A-merry-can male and this bogus machismo and virility in which he likes to wrap himself? Personally, I loved LeBron's man purse, but I think I am in a small minority with this one. The poor guy is getting killed for it. Why?
Now that I know that my Sixers won't be going anywhere in the playoffs, I think I will be rooting for James and the LeBrons to get a ring. This hateration of LeBron has gotten way out of control. Folks, unless you live in Cleveland, Ohio, you have no business hating on LeBron. None. If you lost nine of your fingers you could count the guys in the NBA with a better game than LeBron with the finger you have left. Dude is that good.
So please fellows, let's ease up on LeBron and his man purse. You might not like it, but please don't knock the hustle.
Speaking of hustle, Flipper is still trying to hustle up votes in the republican primary. Tomorrow is Super Tuesday and I am pretty sure that Flipper will come out smelling like roses. Rick should have just walked away while he is ahead. The more he talked the further he dropped in the polls. And now, sadly, there is no coming back for the theocrat from Pistolvania. He got pounded on FOX NEWS of all places, and he had to come clean about the lie he told about Obama and four year colleges. Even his wife thinks that he is f&^***g up the campaign.
So yes folks, it will be Flipper representing the GOP come November. But he better wrap this thing up fast, because his negatives are rising faster than rush's johnson in an Oxycontin factory.
Finally, if Obama wins some of you Negroes might consider going back to Africa. In case you haven't heard gun sales are on the rise in A-merry-ca because folks are scared of the possibility of Obama winning four more years.
"Obama favors complete ban of handguns (except for the Black Panthers)."
Yipes! Mr. President, please bring the troops home, we might need them here to protect you and the rest of us Negroes in the very near future.
Now that I know that my Sixers won't be going anywhere in the playoffs, I think I will be rooting for James and the LeBrons to get a ring. This hateration of LeBron has gotten way out of control. Folks, unless you live in Cleveland, Ohio, you have no business hating on LeBron. None. If you lost nine of your fingers you could count the guys in the NBA with a better game than LeBron with the finger you have left. Dude is that good.
So please fellows, let's ease up on LeBron and his man purse. You might not like it, but please don't knock the hustle.
Speaking of hustle, Flipper is still trying to hustle up votes in the republican primary. Tomorrow is Super Tuesday and I am pretty sure that Flipper will come out smelling like roses. Rick should have just walked away while he is ahead. The more he talked the further he dropped in the polls. And now, sadly, there is no coming back for the theocrat from Pistolvania. He got pounded on FOX NEWS of all places, and he had to come clean about the lie he told about Obama and four year colleges. Even his wife thinks that he is f&^***g up the campaign.
So yes folks, it will be Flipper representing the GOP come November. But he better wrap this thing up fast, because his negatives are rising faster than rush's johnson in an Oxycontin factory.
Finally, if Obama wins some of you Negroes might consider going back to Africa. In case you haven't heard gun sales are on the rise in A-merry-ca because folks are scared of the possibility of Obama winning four more years.
"Obama favors complete ban of handguns (except for the Black Panthers)."
Yipes! Mr. President, please bring the troops home, we might need them here to protect you and the rest of us Negroes in the very near future.
Labels:
LeBron,
man purse,
Mitt Romney.,
Super Tuesday
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Too close for comfort.

Here is how a typical weeknight goes in the field household:
It starts with the the field and Mrs. Field coming home from work, (not necessarily at the same time) and breaking into their different routines.
Mrs. Field goes to her lap top, and does who knows what. It's usually something work related, because she has a bunch of crap spread out on the table that always leaves the field flummoxed. Then she chats with her sister in Louisiana on the phone for lord knows how long (Thank goodness for the AT&T flat rate). And then she starts to watch television (usually TV One and game shows) until the television starts watching her.
The field, on the other hand, goes to his corner of the world to work on his computer. This is where he does his blogging and an assortment of other things. In the field's work room the television is always on news or politics. This is is where the field usually stays until he colapses at the computer.
But tonight is different. Tonight is Super Tuesday. And as the field tries to concentrate on his blogging and other stuff he needs to get done, Mrs. Field is sitting behind him intently watching all the political news programs. The field wants to know from Mrs. Field what gives; and she proceeds to tell the field that she is trying to see how Barack is doing.....Barack is doing? "I thought you weren't interested in this race?" "Well I changed my mnd" Mrs. Field says. "I am into Barack now, I really do want him to win."
This is,to the field, like hearing that he will be spending an evening at a Mitt Romney rally. As the field tries to concentrate on his blogging and the news on the television, Mrs. Field is working hard trying to to figure out how the "O" man is doing. The field knows this because Mrs. Field is asking lots of questions about the process and what different wins mean in different states. The field is assuring her that the race will be close. That the "O" man is really winning some delgates even in states that he lost, such as New York. And, to top it off, he is doing well in caucus states. Deaf ears, because girlfirend is glued and totally engrossed in the television set.
How did this happen? How did an Obamaholic actually end up in the field's own house? My god is there no escaping you people? Now the field will have to watch everything he eats and drinks. Can't have Mrs. field slipping any Kool Aid in the drink . Or, any "O" pepper or "O" salt in the field's food.
Mrs. Field is mad now, she just saw that the "O" man lost New Jersey and New York. "They won't let him win will they?" "Who is they?" The field asks. "You know who they are negro". Whenever Mrs. Field gets mad she calls the field, Negro. Mrs. field is fuming, she is not a happy camper. The field isn't sure why. "Hey didn't the "O" man win Utah and North Dakota? It just goes to show that maybe , just maybe, the "O" man has turned the corner on this white vote thing after all." " Don't play with my intelligence field, those states don't have a lot of delegates. I am sorry, I just can't take four more years of yet another Clinton. It will be twenty years of the Clintons and the Bushes for crying out loud!"
Mrs. field is still in the field's work room. Mrs. field is behind the field as he types this very post. Hillary is giving her speech now, and Mrs. Field is talking about her (Hillary) under her breath. The scary thing is, the field didn't even see this coming. It's as if Mrs. Field has been sipping the O Aide in secret all along. "How long have you been an Obamaholic?" The field asks her. "What? Look Negro I don't have time for your little crazy sayings. This is real life field, it's not a joke. You just stick to your blogging. I hope you blog about this, about how these folks are trying hard to make the worst candidate win."
The field doesn't even think of looking back. But the field can feel the eyes. So the head stays down, and the field keeps typing. The field is praying that the "O" man pulls out some Western states late. Because messing with you Obamaholics on the web is one thing, but living with one is quite another.
Labels:
Barack Obama,
blogging,
Mitt Romney,
Super Tuesday
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