Racist dogs! No, not the four- legged ones.

The dog days of summer aren't quite here yet, but a few stories today have me thinking about dogs.

The first one involves his O ness and his lack of a best friend-the four- legged kind that every man should have. Apparently when you are president of these divided states it helps to have a pet. It seems that Obama's black side is winning the battle on whether to have a pet or not and that's not a good thing. He got a dog for Sasha and Malia, but now, apparently, he might need to get one for himself.

Diana C. Mutz, the Samuel A. Stouffer Professor of Political Science at Penn, studied the electoral appeal of Barack Obama in the fall, crunching a wealth of voter data from the 2008 campaign, and came to a simple, surprising, but unshakable conclusion:
Dude could have used a dog.
Turns out all that sensitive talk about selecting the right sort of pooch for daughters Malia and Sasha (rescue or pup? what's good with allergies?) reinforced the qualities that Mutz suspects cooled some voters to his candidacy.
Instead of making Obama seem pet-friendly, focus on his canine considerations underscored the fact that the presidential contender did not have a dog - or any animal at home.
And in this country, pets and politics have long gone hand in hand, paw, or claw.
FDR had Fala. Nixon had Checkers. LBJ had those beagles he dangled by the ears.
Obama turns out to be the first petless person elected president in our nation's history, according to Mutz's research. (Chester Alan Arthur, the 21st president, was similarly petless, but he wasn't elected; he rose to his position after James Garfield was shot.)" [story]

My friend Daniel Rubin might have really stumbled unto something here. It's all about the pets.

O man if not a dog, may I suggest a parrot? Just make sure you keep him in the room with your top advisers when you are not around. You might want to find out later what they said behind your back.

The other dog story involves a dog who has probably been hanging around the tea party folks too long. Did you know that dogs can be trained to be racist? I did. I saw that movie back in the day. Still, it's not the poor dog's fault. The poor animal can only do what he is trained to do. I blame the owners. But honestly, the very thought of a racist dog is almost laughable. As if us racism chasers don't have enough to worry about with humans. Besides, I honestly thought that dogs couldn't see colors. Oh well, maybe some dogie expert reading this can help me with that one.

"Let's forget for a second that the dog was doing his job (barking at an intruder) and look at some science. Most animal behaviorists agree that dogs can be taught to react against sets of individuals. A dog could also learn to dislike individuals if they suffered some trauma by members of a group at an early age.

The dogs' vision can also play a role. Though dogs can see colors, they do so with far less sharpness than humans. I've read a report where a dog's eyesight had deteriorated to the point that dark moving objects appeared to be big scary moving blobs. Jeeze! I would bark at that too.So, yes, a dog can react negatively to certain people. But I refuse to call a dog racist." [ story]

Me too. It should be the other way around.

Finally, speaking of dogs; did you see the latest comment from Newt?

"..Mr. Obama is "the most radical president in American history," Gingrich said. "He has said, 'I run a machine, I own Washington, and there is nothing you can do about it.'"
"What we need is a president, not an athlete," Gingrich said during a question and answer period after his speech. He added: "Shooting three point shots may be clever, but it doesn't put anybody to work." [story]

Translated: we need a real president not a black man pretending to be a president. You know all those black people are good athletes. But that's all they are; athletes.

Get ready for another battle. And Artyom's long journey.

Get ready O man, I feel another battle coming on. Although, honestly, I don't know why. The member of the supremes who is stepping down ,after a long and distinguished career, (best thing that Gerald Ford ever did was to appoint this man) was in the liberal camp, and in order to balance out the supremes I am guessing that you have to put another liberal in his place. (A note to all of you out there who like to label the field as a racist, I did not say black, I said liberal. I already got burned once going down that road)

I know that the rethugs are going to fight this one tooth and nail; they have already started. Right on cue Orin Hatch has declared that his O ness cannot pick someone who believes n judicial activism. (Hey, ever notice that when conservative justices fashion new laws it's not judicial activism but just them following their interpretation of the Constitution?) But damn it O man, do not cave and put someone on that bad boy who will flip on you down the road. They must be young, liberal, smart, and have a strong personality. Anything less will be a disappointment. This is one of the reasons that the folks on the left elected you, so don't blow it. You are a lawyer, damn it. You know exactly where I am coming from and what you have to do. Don't pick some moderate just to avoid a fight. If you do that A-merry-ca will suffer down the road and it will not be good for your legacy.

And finally, these were probably the last words little Artyom heard from his soon[ not ]to be mommy.: "OK Artyom, have a safe flight. And remember, I packed some cookies in your backpack." Unbelievable! Didn't we go down a similar road before? WTF is wrong with these A-merry-can families and these foreign adoptions?

"MOSCOW — Russia threatened to suspend all child adoptions by U.S. families Friday after a 7-year-old boy adopted by a woman from Tennessee was sent alone on a one-way flight back to Moscow with a note saying he was violent and had severe psychological problems.The boy, Artyom Savelyev, was put on a plane by his adopted grandmother, Nancy Hansen of Shelbyville.Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov called the actions by the grandmother “the last straw” in a string of U.S. adoptions gone wrong, including three in which Russian children had died in the U.S.The cases have prompted outrage in Russia, where foreign adoption failures are reported prominently. Russian main TV networks ran extensive reports on the latest incident in their main evening news shows."

Children are not pets. Actually, I take that back; you treat your pets better. But seriously, you can't just return a child after you adopted him and say that you want a do over. I don't care how f#&*%d up in the head the little rug rat is, it's your child now. Live with it.

Who cares? They are just people.

The next time you hear some free market conservative talking about the beauty of free market capitalism, just say the words Massey to him. And, if that doesn't work, try Sago.

Oh ohh, here comes field using another tragedy to once again to score cheap political points.

Yep, you damn right! Because the people who love to promote the laissez-faire economic philosophy so popular among the wingnuts, rarely stop to think about the human cost of their abstract ideology. They put people in charge of overseeing something as dangerous as a mine, and these people keep their eyes on the bottom line and not the human factor.

It's why, time and time again, when we hear of these tragic mine explosions, we realize that the multi million dollar corporations that these poor minors bust it for, are usually in violation of multiple safety codes. (Fifty three in March for this latest company.) It's why these scumbag mining corporations consistently fight against giving their workers the right to organize with a union and fashion a collective bargaining agreement under which they can work.

This latest case is particularly egregious because the owner of this mine is a big time republican donor and global warming denier . This clown lines his own pockets while shelling out money to keep state and party officials in said pockets. And it's not just republicans; democratic poli-trick-sters in that state like Rick Rahall and Robert Byrd should shoulder some of the blame as well.

So twenty five more men (and counting) have lost their lives, and no one will be held accountable. We will hear that it was because of some accident or another: A gas leak, poor ventilation, or poorly trained workers. What we won't hear is that until some of these corporations start putting people before profits, sadly, another day in the not too distant future, the country will be mourning the loss of yet more miners.

"Heritage not hate" my ass.

"Carry me back to old Virginia,There's where the cotton and the corn and taters grow,There's where the birds warble sweet in the springtime,There's where this old darkey's heart am long'd to go,There's where I labored so hard for old massa,Day after day in the field of yellow corn,No place on earth do I love more sincerely Than old Virginia, the state where I was born."

Oh yes, those beautiful lyrics from James Bland. They remind us of a time in A-merry-ca that many conservatives no doubt yearn for. I know that the Governor of ole Virginia, James F. McDonnell, is yearning for them. Oh to have those darkies laboring for massa again. Hey, if we can't have all those days back at least we can have a month. Right Gov?

"Gov. Robert F. McDonnell, reviving a controversy that had been dormant for eight years, has declared that April will be Confederate History Month in Virginia, a move that angered civil rights leaders Tuesday but that political observers said would strengthen his position with his conservative base."

That's a shame. I always kind of liked Virginia. (At least the northern part of it.) It's a shame that they picked a man like McDonnell to lead the state. Be careful what you wish for. Now Virginia can join South Carolina and Texas as states that are pretty much an embarrassment to the rest of us here in A-merry-ca.

"McDonnell said Tuesday that the move was designed to promote tourism in the state, which next year will mark the 150th anniversary of the start of the war. McDonnell said he did not include a reference to slavery because "there were any number of aspects to that conflict between the states. Obviously, it involved slavery. It involved other issues. But I focused on the ones I thought were most significant for Virginia."

I hear you there gov. why quibble over a little insignificant thing like slavery? Unbelievable! And these black conservatives out here wonder why they represent such a small percentage of black folks. It's because of shit like this. No matter how much in sync we are with each other from a political standpoint, we can never ever embrace the ignorant people you choose as your political soul-mates. "Confederate History Month". You people in Virginia must have lost your f*&^%g minds.

"The proclamation was condemned by the Virginia Legislative Black Caucus and the NAACP. Former governor L. Douglas Wilder called it "mind-boggling to say the least" that McDonnell did not reference slavery or Virginia's struggle with civil rights in his proclamation. Though a Democrat, Wilder has been supportive of McDonnell and boosted his election efforts when he declined to endorse the Republican's opponent, R. Creigh Deeds.
'Confederate history is full of many things that unfortunately are not put forth in a proclamation of this kind nor are they things that anyone wants to celebrate," he said. "It's one thing to sound a cause of rallying a base. But it's quite another to distort history."'

Wait, did it say that Wilder has been supportive of McDonnell? Let me read that again....yep that's what it said. Sorry Gov. Wilder, I don't want to hear shit from you. You supported the guy. What did you expect? That his conservative ass was going to change his stripes for you? All he needed you for was to get a few other handkerchief heads (such as the former wife of a certain cable coon network) to support him so that he could get elected. So spare us the outrage, now. It's too late. You labored hard to get old massa in power and this is the thanks that he gives you and the other people of color in Virginia.

What was it Bob Johnson's ex said again?:

“We need bold and innovative leadership to move our state forward, and that's why I've chosen to support Bob McDonnell for governor,” said Johnson, a Democrat, during remarks in Richmond, Va. “He has shown me that he has the right vision and the executive leadership skills that will guide Virginia through these challenging times.”

Will Sheila, he does have a vision. The problem is it's not the right one for the people of your state, and it's certainly not right for A-mery-ca.

An Easter killing and a foreign born president.

*

I knew it was going to come to this. You Negroes and all this dressing up you like to do for Easter. What the hell is that all about? Now you all "went and done" killed each other over your Easter clothes. Stop the madness! Even your poor kids are scared of Easter cause you all have them dressed in suits that they can't even move in. And those damn hats! I swear if I ever went to church my pastor would have to have a hat section for all you hat wearing women to sit in. I can't see the preacher over your damn hats.

"COLUMBUS, Ohio - Police in Ohio say a woman shot her cousin to death during an argument that started because one woman didn't think the other was dressed properly for Easter dinner. Columbus police Officer Jean Holmes said in court Tuesday that the leg-baring shorts worn by 19-year-old Danielle Pickens sparked a verbal and physical confrontation with 42-year-old Evelyn Burgess on Sunday at Burgess' home."

Oh Lawd, the woman had the nerve to have on "leg-bearing" shorts for dinner and her cousin shot her. Can you say issues boyz and girls?

Look, I love to dress with the best of em. I am very in touch with my sartorial side. But sometimes you Negroes tend to go over- board with all the dressing up. Sometimes I want to listen to some of those preachers on television, but I can't because all the buttons on their suits keep distracting me from the message. And don't even front like it's just me. You all know exactly where I am coming from.

And finally, you all know I couldn't go without taking yet another shot at my wingnuts friends. Honestly, I would rather not talk about these folks, but they make it so hard for me not to. So anway, have you all heard the latest from this "motley crue"? (Wait, did I write "motley crue"? Clearly I meant monolithic crue) Seems they caught Michelle Obama speaking at a 2008 DNC fundraiser saying that her husband's home country is Kenya. Oh my, they have him now. The birthers are salivating over this one.

"OOPS!Interesting statement caught on tape from Mrs. Obama... Why would Barack Obama's home country" be Kenya (as stated by his own wife) if he was born in the United States? Obama grew up in Indonesia and Hawaii to the best of our knowledge.Obama's own Grandmother says she was at his birth in Africa...not Hawaii. (Last I checked - there was a big difference in these two locations.)The "Believers" will continue believing a Liar - even when his own grandmother, his wife and others have made public claims that Obama's home country and birth place was in Kenya.I can't call Obama's own Kenyan grandma a liar. Sorry. I will believe her more than Barack - she has no motive to lie."

"Nice of her to admit what we already know."

"Well, there you have it -- right from Michelle's mouth and she should know where her husband was born.Good work, Lura, finding that."

Just a sampling of the wingnutification [not a word, I made it up] of A-merry-ca folks.

Maybe one day they will share what they are smoking with the rest of us. Maybe.

*Disclaimer: The two handsome ladies in the pic are in no way related to the first part of this post.

CNN's bad call.

It's 9:05 pm and I am blogging and not watching the National Championship game. That ought to tell you what I think of Duke and Butler in the finals. I am, in a word, underwhelmed.

So anyway, I hope CNN learned their lesson. Signing up Eric Erickson from RedState.com has proven to be embarrassing for them already.

"CNN's new contributor Eric Erickson claims to be toning down his incendiary rhetoric now that he's more in the spotlight. But on the radio last week, Erickson said he would "pull out [his] wife's shotgun" if a census worker came to try to jail him for not filling out his census form. "This is crazy," Erickson said last week on WMAC's In the Morning with Erick Erickson of the census. "What gives the Commerce Department the right to ask me how often I flush my toilet? Or about going to work? I'm not filling out this form. I dare them to try and come throw me in jail. I dare them to. Pull out my wife's shotgun and see how that little ACS twerp likes being scared at the door. They're not going on my property. They can't do that. They don't have the legal right, and yet they're trying."

Way to go there Eric. Threaten to shoot some poor schmuck who is just doing his job because you want to impress your wingnut friends. Nothing like talk of pulling out the old shotgun to fire up the wingnuts. I guess it's that second amendment thing.

"Erickson would later write that his comment was "misconstrued."
"ACS Surveyors are getting belligerent and have showed up on people's doorsteps to harass them and threaten jail," he wrote on RedState.com"

Eric, you are lying! Produce one person who is ready and willing to say that one of the census workers showed up on their doorstep and harassed them and threatened to take them off to jail. If that did in fact happen, I will be the first person to say that the worker who did that should be fired, forthwith. If it didn't happen, or worse, if you really don't even think that it happened; CNN should have fired your ass yesterday.

Finally, go over to my friend's over at We Are Respectable Negroes and confess your sins. (The Church of James Brown is in session.) Some of you black folks need to go. You have been slipping lately.

I think Chauncey DeVega is an elder in his church and he had a vision:

"Go to the people and spread my word Brother Chauncey. It is not only during February that my church must exist, that negroes everywhere must be free to confess their secret shames and sins of black authenticity at all times. Once more, this is the time I have selected, this first week of April. For we have so much to share since Brother Obama has been elected. Present my word and spread it for now it is time to come together in community!"

I am not an "elder" in the church like my man Chauncey, but to show that I am not above humbling myself, I too have a couple of confessions to make:

I, Field Negro, do not like summer time cookouts in public parks. And when I see Negroes coming to the movies on CP time I lose my f&*^%*g mind. Forgive me Saint James for I have sinned!

Who decides who makes you happy?

*

I just caught the latest Tyler Perry flick. (Fellows, please forgive me, I had no choice. I owed Mrs. Field a chick flick.) So anywhoo, after seeing that movie about the perils of young and successful black folks hooking up, -Perry might have been on to something I thought about a post I saw from a brother over at AOL Black Voices. In the article he writes about people hooking up, or not, if they so choose. And people who judge other people based on what would make them happy, or, societal mores which, based on their own experiences, they think that we all should follow.

I know a sister, for instance, who happens to be a very attractive and successful attorney. She is single, I am guessing she is pushing 40, and I am pretty sure that she has no children. Other than in the courtroom (where she can be a Pitbull) she seems to be the happiest person in the world. Yet brothers are always going all Dick Tracy on old girl. "Field, what's up with her? Is she Gay or what? How come she hasn't hooked up with anyone?" I also know married couples with children who likewise seem happy and well adjusted. I know folks who are Gay who I could put in that same category as well. And, of course, there is the flip side. I am sure that I could point out folks in the categories I just mentioned who are not quite as happy and well adjusted. Point is, there is no set formula for happiness. Not when it comes to relationships.

This brother over at AOL Black Voices wrote:

"A good friend finds herself irritated by the incessant chatter about the "single black woman" phenomenon. She confides that she recognizes the challenges that many black women face in pursuit of love and she feels for them, but she's coming from a different place. At age 38, she has no interest in walking down the aisle, settling down or raising children. She never has. Therefore, the logistics and statistics for finding a good (black) man don't mean a lot to her on a personal level. Perhaps, she's a bit of a loner that way, but she's definitely not alone in how she feels. It's true, however, that love, marriage and a baby carriage are high on the list of most single women and preferably in that order. Women are socialized to believe that being a mother, with a loving husband in tow, is the holy grail of womanhood..."

That last sentence might be true, but I don't think it makes it right. This is going to sound strange from someone who is always preaching about the power of the collective. But when it comes to relationships, I am of the opinion that it should be all about the individual and what floats their particular boat.

So when I read where the brother wrote this:

" I understand that protecting our comfort zones is high priority. The doors become unhinged and the walls weaken when we feel threatened by people who believe and behave differently than the traditional manner most of us are accustomed to. Whether it's being openly gay, having an open marriage or, as in this case, declaring open season on the Pollyanna notion that all straight women want the same thing, society still gets its panties twisted up in a bunch at the thought of such things. The only thing most of us want open is our mouths so we can bark about how wrong a person is. And, if the spirit hits, we'll commence with stoning people with Bibles in the public square or on comment boards.As Erykah Badu states it at the end of her new video, "people assassinate that which they do not understand." To my friend (and everyone like her), continue to be you. People will always sound the alarms simply because someone sets fire to their safe and neatly packaged belief systems." [Link]

I was glad it's Sunday cause I wanted to say Amen!

*Pic courtesy of BET.com.

Now he tells us.

*

"The first black president!" ...I'm proud to be able to say that. That's unless you screw up. And then it's going to be, 'What's up with the half-white guy?'"~Wanda Sykes~

I knew it! I knew that beige man in the white house was really black. He confirmed it by checking the African American/Negro/black/ category on the census. I have new found respect for the man. He understands the country he leads. Yea yea, I know his mama is white, and folks love to say that he is bi-racial when he does good. (Kind of like a certain fellow with a sweet swing and a penchant for kinky sex and Ambien.) But we all know the rules when it comes to race here in A-merry-ca, and I am thankful that "The One" understands them as well.

Of course this is going to give more fodder to his enemies on the right. The ones he has been calling out by name ,lately. "See, I told you Obama was a racist. Why did he check African American on the census and not other or multiple boxes? Because he does not claim his white side, that's why."

And so it will go. How much time do you think Radio Rwanda will give Rush to spout off on that one?

Oh well, Happy Easter to those of you who are so inclined. I see that some of my friends in South Africa have been praying and their prayers have been answered. And closer to home some prayers have been answered as well. So maybe, just maybe, someone upstairs is listening.

*Pic lifted from the femacamper web site.

Not everyone is being good on Good Friday.

It's Good Friday and my man racism is still messing with me. (h/t Celina) Poor O, the wingnuts find all kinds of stuff to throw at him. Now he is being associated with some of our deepest and darkest fears as god fearing A-merry-cans: The black brute taking it to the bedroom and raping our women.

Oh field, relax, you lefties did a lot worse to George Bush and you didn't hear folks crying about all kinds of isms. It's just politics field, it has nothing to do with race. That pic you put up there with this post is just an example of god fearing A-merry-cans showing their frustrations and disgust with a man who wants to take us down the road of Socialism.

I see, is that why this guy refused to treat patients who voted for Obama? I thought doctors took some kind of oath to treat everybody in a fair and ethical way? Oh well, maybe it's not racism with the good doc, but the folks who came up with the cartoon...I am not so sure about, them.

But seriously, I need to quit. I am going to stop chasing racism in post racial A-merry-ca. I guess there is no need for it anymore. Not when everything is so race neutral. Hell, just recently, The National Review had on online symposium on black unemployment and they didn't even need any black folks to talk about it. In post racial A-merry-ca there is no longer a need for division based on race. Nope, a panel of white experts is all we need to tell us why black folks are unemployed.

"Well Bob, it seems that the blacks in A-merry-ca are unemployed because they simply don't want to work. Yes, that and the fact that many of them figure that since their ancestors worked so hard during slavery America owes them something. What a shame... "

But seriously, isn't this analogous to having a bunch of Jamaicans holding a symposium about the effects of too much snow on depression? Is it just me or does the whole thing seem a bit surreal?Oh hell, maybe it's just me. Check out the comments after the link I gave you.

Finally, I am going to have to find a religion and soon. I can't let another Good Friday come and go without truly appreciating it. The only thing I associate with Easter is Jamaican bun and cheese. Which reminds me, I have to give my baker in West Philly a call. I better enjoy all the Jamaican bun while I can. Why? Because pretty soon in post racial A-merry-ca, someone else will be baking those bad boys.

April Fools' Quiz

Quick, which of the following stories do you think is an April Fools' Day Joke?

A. Ignorant Negro masquerading as a lawmaker tells an Admiral in the Navy that he worries that too many troops on the Island of Guam could cause that bad boy to tip over?

B. Tiger Woods pays a jump off TEN MILLION DOLLARS to take R. Kelly's advice and keep their stuff on the down low?

C. A 15 year old in New Jersey pimped out her seven year old sister, causing the poor child to be gang raped.

D. Lark Voorhies e-mailed me today and said she heard that I was hunting her and would just love to meet me. She wanted to know how soon I could make it to L.A.

Okay, I know that most of you are saying D, because, well, you are obviously not familiar with my charming side. Of course, sadly, you would be right.

Still, I wouldn't think that you would be off base for selecting A, B, or C.

WTF? Did Cynthia McKinney's replacement, Hank Johnson, really say this:?

"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize." Willard responded back "We don't anticipate that." Willard added that they would add only 25,000 more into the Guam population so it shouldn't be an issue." [Story]

Negro, don't you ever say some ignorant shit like that ever again. And I know some of you Negroes are saying to leave him alone because we are only giving white folks and wingnuts ammunition to make fun of us. But you all can stop it right now. This Negro needed to be called out. That was just plain ignorant. He ain't one of us. I don't know anyone that ignorant.

One of Hank Johnson's spokespeople noted that Congressman Johnson's remarks that Guam might capsize were made figuratively.

Yeah right. Well would it have hurt to say something to the effect that "I am speaking figuratively, of course"? Of course not. But you didn't. You know why? Because you were not speaking figuratively. You were being ignorant.

And Tiger, I know that ten million is not a lot of scratch to you. But trust me, you could have done a lot more with that ten million than just giving it to a jump off so that she wouldn't kiss and tell. What could she possibly say that hasn't been said? That you did the mile high thing in the cock pit of your G-4 ? That she had multiple partners while you watched and pretended your johnsons was a putter? I mean come on Tiger; TEN MILLION? I sure hope she was worth it.

And what about the other jump offs? Did you forget about them when you were buying off jump off number one? I swear you better be in the running at Augusta come Sunday, or it's going to be ugly for you.

I won't even comment on C, other than to say it's true.

Happy April's Fools' Day, folks!

Is everybody going to hate Chris?

Today was just another day here in A-merry-ca. Or was it? I mean the iPad is here. (Color me not impressed, I still like to turn the pages when I read.) Our first black prez decided to go all Sista Souljah on environmentalist and drill for black gold. And, Catholics all across A-merry-ca are having a crisis of faith for obvious reasons. (Well, most Catholics. The ones with a conscience. The other ones....not so much. )

Anywhooo, tonight I want to talk about Chris Rock.

Seems a video of my man spoofing white folks has surfaced and A-merry-ca is not too pleased.

"They say it's only racist if it's not funny, so is the previously unreleased video for "Crackers," Chris Rock's white-bashing spoof of OutKast's "Hey Ya," a case of beats for the bigoted?In what is sure to spark debate over the thin line between racism and comedy, Rock's version is called "Crackers," a not-so subtle reference to Caucasians. In the four minute clip.."

Oh ohh Chris, don't you have a new movie coming out? This is not a good time to be controversial in A-merry-ca. Nothing says sure to be broke more than a controversial Negro in A-merry-ca.

Anyway, judge for yourselves. I really need to hear from you white folks on this one. You tell us if you find it offensive. I already know what you Negroes are going to say. Double standard?

Before I go, I want to thank you all for the e-mails and comments you sent my way about the comments section on the blog. Some of it was heartfelt and sincere, and some of it was the usual "field Negro I wish you would die" type shit. I want you all to know that I heard you loud and clear and I appreciate the feedback. Thank you.

Alicia, you did much better today. :)