Friday, May 09, 2008

THIS CHURCH HAS RELAXED ITS NEGRO ADMITTANCE POLICY



"Freehold Iowa- Wednesday evening, Pastor Deacon Fred sent elderly white church members into a tizzy of profane catcalls when he announced that Landover Baptist would be admitting people of color into the main sanctuary for the first time in history. He assuaged their fears by confiding that coloreds would have limited access to the general congregation and would be restricted to hidden areas. "We've got to face it my friends," he said, "It's not the same world anymore. There are colored folks in this town who make more money than some of our tin-level tithers, and cash doesn't discriminate based on color. It's all green to Jesus and He doesn't care if it comes out of a Negro's shoe, or a white man's wallet, as long as it ends up in our offering plates on Sunday morning. Praise God!"



Landover Baptist will utilize a screening process invented by wealthy, educated colored folks. "We understand that people of color with money are just as leery of other Nubians whose ancestors were apparently so hideously unattractive that no obese, drunken white man could even bring himself to rape them," said Pastor Deacon Fred. Since Coloreds have developed a successful process for screening out their undesirables, and since we don't have much experience in these matters, the Board of Deacons at Landover Baptist is advising that whites borrow from a pre-existing process that people of color are already very comfortable with. "We understand that this is a very exciting time for local Negroes," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "For many, it's their first opportunity to worship in a real church, with a floor that doesn't turn to mud when it rains, and to be among people whose parents and grandparents first introduced their ancestors to the lashing Love of Jesus. If it's any indication of their eagerness, there is a already a long list of applicants who have paid the non refundable $50.00 admittance test fee."



Prospective Negro church members annual household income must exceed $148,000 (as verified by non-colored accountants) to qualify for the following admittance tests:



1. Brown Paper Bag Test:A brown paper bag will be placed next to the face of each candidate. If the skin of the candidate is darker than the bag, they will not be admitted into the church. If such a person is unable to tap-dance or engage in any other harmless talent to the delight of the families making their way from the reserved parking decks, they will be immediately escorted by Pastor Sergeant Connor into the next county. Those Negroes who pass this initial test will then be directed to the appropriate ticket window and should then pay careful attention to the three signs for the new, separate entrances: Brown Paper Bag , High Yellow, and Passing. Out of loving Christian concern, we understand that if an individual falls into one category, they will be uncomfortable if they are seated in the company of another category. As such, one of the domestics employed by the Ladies of Landover will make a binding, non-appealable, decision regarding where you will sit based on your skin tone.



2. Pencil Test:A pencil will be placed through the hairy naps at the back of the head of each candidate. If the pencil stays in the naps without support, the candidate will be denied access to the church, but will be permitted to join us in worship from the parking lot if a love offering is make in advance.



3. Bible Balance Test:A Bible will be placed at the tuft of the back, just above the buttocks of the candidate. If the hind end is jutted in such a way that it holds the Bible in place without support, the candidate will be denied access to the main sanctuary, but will be permitted to join us in worship in the caged area behind the one way mirror above the center balcony.



4. Pronunciation Test:Candidates will be given a series of simple English sentences to memorize and recite (example: "I say, don't you rather think that this pish-posh about it being dreadfully inclement was balderdash, as it appears that it shall be most agreeably lovely – just absolutely, gloriously brilliant -- for well into the next fortnight, no?" ) If the candidate forgets or mispronounces any of the words, or if the Pastor doing the testing is not comfortable with their quarrelsome or uppity inflection, they will not be admitted to the main sanctuary, but will be allowed to join us in worship from the parking lot or from behind the one way mirror above the center balcony.



5. Special TestFor legal reasons, we do not discuss this special test publicly.
Historical Note: Previously, people of color were confined to the small caged area to the rear of main sanctuary where they were forced to stand behind a one way mirror. Coloreds were also permitted to sit out in the field behind the church and watch services on the outdoor jumbo-tron above the parking lot. Since, in bald violation of States' Rights and etiquette, the US Marshals' surprise raid in 1972 forced Landover members to finally free their slaves, white parishioners have since suffered greatly for the Lord's sake. In some extreme cases, members who cannot afford servants are even forced to do their own cooking and cleaning. Most Landover Baptist members retain their family slaves in the form of "indentured servants." These faithful and happy servants retain their previous living quarters and are given a small salary for food and clothing. In return, they are blessed daily with the privilege of serving the last generation of True American Christians™ in Freehold, Iowa. These faithful servants await their reward in Heaven where, God willing, they will continue 5 star service to God's chosen people who will become their masters in mansions of Glory.



Special Notice: As a privately funded non-profit religious institution, the Landover Baptist Church reserves the right to discriminate based on race, religion, sexual preference, size, weight, height, age, sex, and political affiliation. "



More about my favorite church here.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a parody. A bad one though. Why are you trying to pass it off as real? Clue: if betty bower is anywhere around it is a joke.

Cali Tejano said...

Shit, I thought this was for real because I know people from Iowa who think like this.

field negro said...

"This is a parody...."

Nooo, it is? And here I was going to have a come to jesus moment and join this church. Damn it!

Deacon Blue said...

I admit it took me until 2/3 the way through the first paragraph to start getting wise....but Anonymous, I don't think we have to worry about very many of Field's readers thinking this is a real story.

Real friggin funny as far as I'm concerned though.

AgentX said...

It's a wonderful spoof, that's for sure. I had heard rumors about this 'church' so it had me fooled for a good while.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey Field Negro!

This post may be satire but segregation is alive and well in good ole AMERIKKKA!

I grew up in a former "sundown town" in the Midwest. If your state doesn't have any "sundown towns", just do a Google search with those two words!!

I integrated the church in that town when I was a child - just by walking in and taking a seat one Sunday morning!

The town had no blacks at all - except for my family, one domestic worker (who left at SUNDOWN) and one elderly woman who moved in after our family.

I'm a Gen-Xer so this is NOT something from the 50s and 60s!!!

There are still churches just like the one you described...and the Klan has their own assembly of churches throughout the country. They all have the exact same name.

Just dropping some knowledge in the fields....

{raised fist}

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

http://blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com

marci said...

field.. you had me...LOL
i thought to myself ...raahtid they still have this going on in the states? i was about to send it to my brother...
very funny indeed...
and a great weekend to you...

chasingmukti said...

All of this race talk disturbs me. I claim no race, and if anyone calls me a race (other than the human race), I just disregar them. I was born in South Wales, my parents were not. We have traveled abroad my entire life. I claim no country because I have traveled around my entire life and feel at home nowhere. A country has been forced upon me for passport purposes that is for sure.

If a person of colour willingly denounce their color, then we will not find ourselves dicriminated so much and the issue with a church such as this would not be such a problem.

jjbrock said...

Field shame on you! I am going into prayer for you. You be bless!

Anonymous said...

The Landover Baptist Church welcomes all demoninations, but they really like fifties and hundreds.
chamblee54

NSangoma said...

~
Because we all tan, the Brown Paper Bag or the Pine Board (Members of the Board) is contrasted against that side of the forearm that gets the least amount of exposure to the sun; not the face.

One would not want Turtle, to hab to set outside with us darkies.
`

Denise Oliver-Velez said...

Great spoof. But rooted in so many realities. I remember the brown paper bag test.

This made me think of the LDS - Mormon Church, who ostensibly changed their theology to let black folks into the Temple. They do such heavy recruiting now in Latin America - and have targeted Brazil where they found - oops BLACKS. Even though GWB had no clue about black people in Brazil, the Mormons wanted all that new opportunity to collect tithes.

Anonymous said...

See: the thing with christianity is that it changes too much, they come with a " new holy" bible every now and then, they write it and then claim it is from god. Christianity was laid on the on the black race, mostly true in america. Then there is the issue of the color of the skin of Jesus, he is/was white right? So... god is white according to christians, so the white skin is better/superior to other skin colors right. From the black perspective, god is black?? Shouldn t an asain person claim god is yellow? My point being, christianity is too simplistic, too much from the hand of man.

gwpriester (i before e) said...

Heh, heh. It was the phony links that first tipped me off.

Kellybelle said...

You so crazy, LOL.

hennasplace said...

I think it's funny. Isn't that point of satire? It's making something fun that is true. That mega church trend is strange, and it is not a church but a mere version of a basketball arena. The parody isn't too far from the truth, and I think it's funny. However, I also read the Onion and find a lot of that is funny.

hennasplace said...

I think it's funny. Isn't that point of satire? It's making something fun that is true. That mega church trend is strange, and it is not a church but a mere version of a basketball arena. The parody isn't too far from the truth, and I think it's funny. However, I also read the Onion and find a lot of that is funny.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Trumopet blower, What is the name of the klan churches?

Dirty Red said...

Field you know you are not right with this post.

Damn you got me! I damn near read the whole thing before I realized you were bullshitting.
I wonder how many White people today still think like this?

field negro said...

blackwomen....I feel you about the "sundown towns" I bet there are plenty here in Pennsylbama.

And I believe you about those churches. Segacious, I could give you the names of some "klan" churches but I don't want to offend anybody :)

marci, I am glad you caught yourself and didn't send the link to your brother. You know he would have told you to stop reading the shit that the crazy ass field Negro writes :)

jjbrock, please pray for me.

chasingmukti, I wish we didn't have to talk about race so much too. I mean there are other things I would love to focus on with this blog. Like where the hell is Lark Voorhies for instance. I am watching "HOW TO BE A PLAYER" (for the 100th time) as I write this and seeing Lark on that screen is killing me.

denise oliver-velez, race and religion has a fascinating history in this country. And you are right about the LDS, I am still having some issues with the sudden change of heart about black people.

co-sign with Anon.8:01AM 100%

Yes gwpriester, I think those links are a dead giveaway :)

A.F. said...

Ha! This is masterful! I hope the Landover site is going to post it!

I didn't get a chance to comment on "10 Myths," but are you sure you didn't just get ahold of HRC's talking points memo, insert the word "myth(s)", and post it? :)

Ivan Ivanovich Renko said...

Speaking of sundown towns, I drive through one every (work) day: Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.

Their high school mascot?

The Black Tigers.

Irony is most certainly not dead.

Deacon Blue said...

Anonymous at 8:01...

...I fully support your decision to declare that Christianity isn't worth your time, but a couple points of error.

I haven't seen too many new bibles. They shift the language somewhat to be more understandable rather than sticking to old English...but the content isn't really changed in most cases. There are some translations that take massive liberties, but those are on the fringe; not considered mainstream canon.

Also, Jesus probably wasn't white. Not too friggin likely given the time and place he was born and raised.

kathy said...

Ha Ha Field, you got me good, the bad links were the clue for me, too.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

@ Anonymous posting at 8:01am

I find your perspectives to be interesting - although quite inaccurate given the facts that are readily available.

As a minister, I usually find it interesting to hear people pontificate about Christianity who have NEVER read the Bible in its entirety.

I am not saying that I am implying you haven't read it...I am just making the statement.

Most Christians I have encountered who profess to have been RAISED IN THE CHURCH have not read the Bible in its entirety. So if you are listening to those who have been ATTENDING CHURCH since childhood who have never bothered to read the Bible in its entirety to explain Christianity...well...I'd ask you to examine whether that is an intelligent decision to make.

You mentioned the skin color of Jesus, well.... only those who have NOT read the Bible are unaware that there is NO MENTION AT ALL of Jesus' having white skin anywhere in the Bible.

Your statement about Christianity changing is ABSOLUTELY FALSE. Christianity is what it is. People who CLAIM to be Christian have attempted to define Christianity for other people in a way that suits their own agenda or preferences. This does not mean Christianity has changed. It means that people have ATTEMPTED to change the definition of Christianity for their own ends.

It is also a FALSE STATEMENT for you to allege that a "NEW" Holy Bible has been presented. (a) There are various translations of the Bible. (b) There are "versions" published of the Bible. There are central tenets of Christianity that are promulgated within those versions and translations.

Feel free to demonstrate the in-depth research you have completed on the translations and versions of the Bible and POINT OUT which tenets of Christianity have been changed. I am very eager to hear about about your research into this.

There are also NON-CHRISTIAN groups who label themselves as "Christian" in order to have broad acceptance globally and within this country. This is why many of the masses are confused about what constitutes Christianity. Two of the largest and most deceptive cults in the entire world state on their websites that they are "CHRISTIAN" organizations.

Feel welcome to email me and I'll be happy to dialogue more.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

http://blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com

heartsandflowers said...

Field too much satire on an empty stomach does not make for a stable tummy!

As Uncle Ruckus would say, "Praise White Jesus!"

Seriously though...wooly hair, considered 'unattractive', with family living near the Euphrates...that doesn't really fit the depiction of the long-haired pale-skinned blonde guy who I understood to be Michaelangelo's brother as the most accurate example of Jesus.

Reading the Bible and comprehending the Bible is not the same thing. I've had to throw out everything I was 'taught' in church and constantly have to evaluate my critical thinking in regards to the Bible...and religion for that matter. I think one of the most valuable things I've recently learned is that "God" is waay more understanding and loving than portrayed by the fire & brimstone, Hell & Damnation crew. #1 That "THEIR" version is the ONLY version and if you don't follow what they say or how they interpret the bible you will go to hell. #2 God can be Buddah or female or Allah or something else. Why would entire populations, millions of people be damned for eternity because they don't 'believe' in a very rigid and specific way? #3 God is not the CEO of a company where you are the janitor. I'm talking about hierarchy here. Why can't 'God' be our friend vs. some guy in the sky looking down on us ready to zap us for every infraction? #4 Having a moral compass is more important than following a list of do's and don'ts. Otherwise it becomes all about 'rules' and not about having a devotion practice. #5 The role of women has been intentionally downplayed. How many female run churches/movements/religious practices do you see? Yet typically I'd say from a 'Christian' background who is that usually attends services, volunteers and gives money?

Just a Sat afternoon rant before I've had my coffee du jour!

field negro said...

See, this is why I love blogging. I can learn so much from folks like blackwomenblow....and deacon blue(who from what I can tell of them, seem to be REAL christians in the true spirit of the word)

blackwomen...count me as one who has never read the bible in its entirety, even though I am a PK snd was born and raised in the church. Still, I think you and Anon.8:01AM might be both right to a certain extent. I don't think Anon. was saying that the bible said jesus has a color, I think he/she was saying that different religions embraced their own image of jesus to suit their own purpose.(Which, by the way, might not necessarily be a bad thing) But Anon.AM, feel free to check me, I don't want to speak for anyone else.

a.f., "Hillary's talking points memo"? That's too funny.

ivan, you got me with the "Black Tigers" mascot. Yes, the irony is rich.

"Reading the Bible and comprehending the Bible is not the same thing. I've had to throw out everything I was 'taught' in church and constantly have to evaluate my critical thinking in regards to the Bible...and religion for that matter. I think one of the most valuable things I've recently learned is that "God" is waay more understanding and loving than portrayed by the fire & brimstone, Hell & Damnation crew. "

Damn it heartsandflowers, poor me a cup of that coffee too please, and keep ranting. I need to get some of that biblical knowledge.

Miriam said...

This is a joke. I"m sure it is.

lmb said...

Field, I had to check my calendar. I guess it must be May Fools Day. Forgot you were a PK; y'all will always instigate the mischief, won't you?

LOL @ Anon 7:15. The real "culluh" is always green, isn't it?

I think "stratified" churches will always exist - in all colors. (I think though that some pastors/congregations are thinking they might have to check their public personae at least, since it looks like the color of the President might change. Ya know?)

Oh and Field, Professor Brazile has been honorary for a long time now. If you haven't read her book, you might enjoy it.



*Vitamin Vote: An Important Part of This Nutritious Breakfast*

Invisible Woman said...

Ummm...

holy sh*t.

Anonymous said...

deacon blue, it s not that christianity is a waste of time for me but rather too much gray area. Also you said” Jesus probably wasn't white. Not too friggin likely given the time and place he was born and raised”. Do those books/translations add some light in to those issues.

Sister lisa, god bless for being a minister, but aren t there a lot of pictures of jesus ( they surely have those in white churches and let me just add to it his color is “ quite white” ). May be you can add some info on that part. You said, People who CLAIM to be Christian have attempted to define Christianity for other people in a way that suits their own agenda or preferences, I totally agree with you which also spread to other religions. As for changes/translations, when a “ new translation” is published doesn t that change the message of the original text. Being humans after all, one would look it from his own perspective right. One example would be, there is one god jesus, but he is the son of mary ( who is created by god), another jesus dies, god ...(a bit blasphemy). I am not looking down on it, you seem a very good person, I just think it comes with a lot of gray space. Nor do I claim to be an academic on religious studies, its just how I look at things.

Field “I don't think Anon. was saying that the bible said jesus has a color, I think he/she was saying that different religions embraced their own image of jesus to suit their own purpose.” truly said mr field, by the way good job at running a very interesting place to exchange black ideas and thoughts.

Invisible Woman said...

that website is frightening...

That Girl said...

For no reason at all, I scrolled down the blog, saw that gorgeous photo of DB, kept scrolling and then came to the pic from MT of Hillary with that little girl with no poker face. I fell out my chair and brought the neighbors runnin cause that photo is print worthy and needs to be posted on my board at work. Gotta love that about kids--they don't sugar coat it! still can't stop laughing at her face...lol

B

Anonymous said...

House Negro below goes on Nazi Sean Hannity Show putting down Obama.


Obamination


Erik Rush
Erik Rush
February 21, 2007


How many Americans would vote for a presidential candidate who was the member of a church that professed the following credo?

1. Commitment to God

2. Commitment to the White Community

3. Commitment to the White Family

4. Dedication to the Pursuit of Education

5. Dedication to the Pursuit of Excellence

6. Adherence to the White Work Ethic

7. Commitment to Self-Discipline and Self-Respect

8. Disavowal of the Pursuit of "Middleclassness"

9. Pledge to make the fruits of all developing and acquired skills available to the White Community

10. Pledge to Allocate Regularly, a Portion of Personal Resources for Strengthening and Supporting White Institutions

11. Pledge allegiance to all White leadership who espouse and embrace the White Value System

12. Personal commitment to embracement of the White Value System.

The question is rhetorical, of course. The answer is that such a candidate wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting elected dog catcher (apologies to America's animal rescue and public safety personnel) let alone President, because that candidate would be instantly branded a racist, among the most vile and frightening of white supremacists.

And those holding the branding irons would be 100% right.

Yet, in the "About" section of the U.S. Senate website for Barack Obama, Democratic senator from Illinois and contender for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States, it states that Obama and his family "live on Chicago's South Side where they attend Trinity United Church of Christ."

So...?

Well, to say that the Trinity United Church of Christ (http://www.tucc.org) is afrocentric in the extreme would be a gross understatement. It's not simply afrocentric, it's African-centric. In fact, one could argue that this organization worships things African to a far greater degree than they do Christ, and gives the impression of being a separatist "church" in the same vein as do certain supremacist "white brethren" churches — or even Louis Farrakhan's Nation of Islam.

Shocking? An overstatement? An overreaction?

One can see for oneself on the Trinity United Church website, which is replete with confirmation of what I present here. What follows is an excerpt from their Mission Statement:

"We are a congregation which is Unashamedly Black and Unapologetically Christian... Our roots in the Black religious experience and tradition are deep, lasting and permanent. We are an African people, and remain "true to our native land," the mother continent, the cradle of civilization. God has superintended our pilgrimage through the days of slavery, the days of segregation, and the long night of racism. It is God who gives us the strength and courage to continuously address injustice as a people, and as a congregation. We constantly affirm our trust in God through cultural expression of a Black worship service and ministries which address the Black Community.

"Trinity United Church of Christ adopted the Black Value System written by the Manford Byrd Recognition Committee chaired by Vallmer Jordan in 1981. We believe in the following 12 precepts and covenantal statements. These Black Ethics must be taught and exemplified in homes, churches, nurseries and schools, wherever Blacks are gathered. They must reflect on the following concepts:

1. Commitment to God

2. Commitment to the Black Community

3. Commitment to the Black Family

4. Dedication to the Pursuit of Education

5. Dedication to the Pursuit of Excellence

6. Adherence to the Black Work Ethic

7. Commitment to Self-Discipline and Self-Respect

8. Disavowal of the Pursuit of "Middleclassness"

9. Pledge to make the fruits of all developing and acquired skills available to the Black Community

10. Pledge to Allocate Regularly, a Portion of Personal Resources for Strengthening and Supporting Black Institutions

11. Pledge allegiance to all Black leadership who espouse and embrace the Black Value System

12. Personal commitment to embracement of the Black Value System."

Sound familiar? Of course it is, since it's identical to the 12-point list at the beginning of this column — the one from the theoretical white supremacist candidate's church; the only difference is the substitution of the word "Black" for "White."

Trinity United Church of Christ's congregation also claims to hold to a "10-point Vision" which is similarly afrocentric, or if you will, separatist. Again, like the Nation of Islam, a white separatist church or the Branch Davidians, Trinity United more resembles a cult than a church. Only this one has as one of its most prominent members a serious contender for the White House.

And George W. Bush's born-again Christian status scares people?

These revelations, of course shed all the light we need on Obama's inscrutability; since before he announced his candidacy, both the Right and Left have commented on the lack of information vis-à-vis just who Barack Obama is and what he's about.

From The Chicago Tribune, February 06, 2007, Column: Against Middleclassness? by Rich Lowry. "Vallmer Jordan, a church member who helped draft the precepts, said they were designed to empower the black community and counter a value system imposed by whites. 'The big question mark was racism,' he said. 'Black disempowerment was an integral part of that historical value system. It became increasingly apparent to me that we black people had not developed our own value system . . . to help us overcome all we knew we had to battle.'"

"A value system imposed by whites..." Is Jordan speaking of the value system that kept families together and promoted morality, industry and integrity, or the one imposed by liberal dependency pimps since the Civil Rights Movement?

True enough that many blacks did abandon values; again, this was due to the corruption of the black clergy by white socialists and their black foremen. Trinity United seems to have thrown out the baby with the bathwater. Gravitation toward an Africanized "year-round Kwanzaa"-based pseudo-Christianity seems less of a solution than returning to the moral and social conservatism Blacks held prior to the aforementioned socialists gaining their stranglehold in the black community.

So is Obama seeking to be our first black president, or our first stealth black nationalist president? You see, were he a run-of-the-mill insincere Christian of convenience like Bill Clinton, Obama might belong to a run-of-the-mill, lukewarm, large nondescript church. But he doesn't. He belongs to a church which is (as I indicated before) blatantly afrocentric and even suggests the supremacy of Africa's descendants in America.

Granted that the Left will have no qualms about this highly questionable affiliation, but what about all of the American swing voters to whom Obama has built broad appeal by presenting himself as sort of a generic, open-minded moderate Democrat (as Bill Clinton also did, by the way)? Are they going to go for a candidate whose heart is actually closer to that of a refined Black Panther?

Trinity United clearly embraces things African above things American. The content of their website makes this undeniably clear. Aside from this tack being divisive, separatist and calls into question its adherents' identification as Americans, if they're looking for values, they — and Obama — would be better served by looking to modern political conservatives and traditional Christianity than retrograde African precepts and the Democrat Party.

Obama's affiliation with this church, if I must call it that, should be as alarming to the American voter as a Republican candidate for president belonging to the Aryan Brethren Church of Christ. Any argument against this assertion is politically-correct delusion, reverse discrimination and a hypocrisy — a very dangerous one.

Erik Rush is a contributor of social commentary to numerous print and online publications. Born in New York City in 1961, from 1975 to 1986, he worked as a studio, club, and stage musician and in biomedical research. In 1986, Erik relocated to the Southwestern U.S.

In 2002, his first novel, "The Angels Fell" was released. His nonfiction book "It's the Devil, Stupid! (Our Real Enemy and Why We Don't Talk About Him)" was published in June 2006.

Erik is also a Staff Writer for the New Media Alliance, Inc., and is acting Associate Editor and Publisher of TheRealityCheck.org. In addition to work and his family, he also participates in the Praise band and martial arts at his church and enjoys writing music, remodeling, and refinishing guitars. His entertaining and informative (if bizarre) website can be found at www.erikrush.com.

© Copyright 2007 by Erik Rush
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/rush/070221

Deacon Blue said...

To Anonymous 7:38 (this is why I don't like it when people post as "anon"; too hard to keep 'em straight)

;-)

Anyway, all those "pictures" of Jesus are paintings, painted several hundred years after Jesus was dead and when Christianity had spread into Europe and was controlled by Whites and not by Middle Eastern Jews, who were the original Christians...those that saw Jesus as the Messiah at least.)

Ergo, those paintings reflect the Eurocentric mindset of the artists at the time. If you're white, and the whites constitute most of the church, you see Jesus as a white guy. So that's how they painted him.

The Bible itself offers no real description of Jesus but it stands to reason that being in the Middle East, he would have at least a dusky complexion...certainly he wouldn't be sporting European facial features even if his skin was on the light side. Sure, a lot of Jews now look pretty white, but we have to remember that a lot of the Jews now come from European stock and not from pure Middle Eastern stock. A lot has changed in 2,000 years.

BTW, Field...thanks for thinking of me as a "true" Christian. Lord only knows if it's true or not...LOL...but I appreciate that you don't see me as a nutjob, anyway.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Excuse me, but the bible does give a description of him. It says:

"Rev 1:14 His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. Rev 1:15 His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. Rev 1:16 In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance."

Deacon Blue said...

@ Granny:

That's post-transfiguration. I'm talking when he was in the flesh originally. It's also highly symbolic...unless you think a sword is sticking out of Jesus' mouth.

;-)

justice58 said...

Field,

You had me laughing out loud! You know better!

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Anonymous posting 9:33 pm

You have ably defined the Bush administration's platform - as well as the Reagan administration's platform - as well as Dad Bush's platform...it's called the WHITE VALUE SYSTEM...

Surely, THAT hasn't gone unnoticed by you??

It is interesting that many white people want to scrutinize Obama's pastor based on MISREPRESENTATION of the pastor by the white media... and ask any white person who the pastors of the last five president's were....they can't name them....GUESS WHY? Because the white media deliberately didn't scrutinize those pastors...have you ever heard any excerpts from those pastors? NOOOOO.. geee, does anyone wonder why? Of course, we don't wonder why....we KNOW why.

Finally, I would say to white people who are soooo deeply offended when black people focus on the black community and focus on solutions to advance the black community... please MAKE UP YOUR MINDS...either you want black people to sit back and have YOU solve the problems in the black community or else you want US to do so...and when we do...we'd appreciate it very much if you'd butt out of it (particularly since you KEEP SCREAMING for us to solve our own problems...white people DO vividly remember that...right?)

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

Rain said...

hey Field,
I couldn't find a link to just e-mail you on your sidebar (yes, maybe I'm just lazy!)

But would love to see you start a new conversation on this. Is satire about racism okay?! is it "more" okay if black folks have input?

this is a timely question in my midwestern town right now. As a white chick, websites like blackpeopleloveus(dot)com are amusing to me . . . and that particular site was allegedly written with the help of black folks, IIRC . . . but does the presence or absence of input from POC make it better or worse?

I'd love to hear a conversation about this. I have been watching a local battle over a spoof that I thought was mocking the white authority, but which apparently went too far and caused pain to some black folks in said community.

so now I'm wondering--is satire a total "no-no"?

field negro said...

rain, it's fnblg@yahoo.com.

To me, satire is never a no no.
If it makes us openly discuss the issue of race and causes us to be honest with each other, I am all for it.

Justice58......ahh let me stop :)

BTW, I loved the theological discussion that you guys just dropped on this comment section.

ladyday said...

Please, please make some space for Carole "Ah luvs me some Miz Hill'ry" Simpson in the house with Ron Christie.

During the campaign, this woman's irrationally slavish devotion to Hillary Clinton has raised house Negritude to an art form.

But her performance on Larry King Live last Friday was truly houseworthy. Among other outrageous statements, she said that Hillary should be given the Democratic nomination because, "We'll probably see the Bradley effect. Whites who voted for Obama in the primaries will likely not vote for him in the general election. America is not ready for a Black president". So, Black men shouldn't even consider running, right? If this rationale had been used when she began her journalism career, we'd never have Ed Bradley, Bernard Shaw, or Carole Simpson.

At least put her out on the lawn. She truly deserves it...

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