Hurricanes, white quarterbacks, and the evangelical candidate.

"Field, make sure you pick up a couple of cases of bottled water and snacks, and make sure you tap the ATM and get some cash. Oh, and don't forget to get some flashlights and batteries if you can..."

That's what part of my text from Mrs. Field looked like as the big gal upstairs prepared to hit you heathens on the East Coast with yet another rare natural disaster. This times it's of the hurricane variety. What will it be next, a meteor shower? WTF? Even the city that never sleeps is shutting down. These are strange days, indeed.

Irene is her name, and she is going to cost us some money.Heck she already started. This lady has expensive taste. Not even the Donald can afford this one. She might tear up his casinos in AC and some of his Manhattan high rises with one devastating swoop.

Speaking of strange, I see that ESPN the Magazine done went and made #7 white to make a point. [See pic with this post.] As is to be expected, some folks aren't pleased. But I have to give it to ESPN, they know how to sell magazines. Fire up those color arousal buttons and folks will talk. Talk leads  to curiosity, and curiosity leads to sales. And, let me say for the record, I can't even imagine Michael Vick as white. And if you knew how white folks feel about their pets  and vice versa, you couldn't either.

Finally, congrats to Governor Big Hair. I see that he is leading the republiclown field of presidential candidates. He does seem to be the "godliest" of all the candidates. Poor Mitt, he just doesn't have the right religion to satisfy that good ole republiclown base that is so full of true believers.

Governor Big Hair is the real deal among the republican bible reading base, and the main stream media is starting to take notice:

"That’s the mirror-mirror question for Republicans. Forget charisma, charm, intelligence, knowledge and that nuisance, “foreign policy experience.” The race of the moment concerns which candidate is the truest believer.

This was always a tough hurdle for Romney, whose Mormonism is reflexively distrusted by Southern evangelicals. Even so, in the absence of a better candidate, Romney had a fighting chance to win his party’s support. Then came Perry.

Talk about a perfect-storm, composite candidate. Combine Elmer Gantry’s nose for converts, Ronald Reagan’s folksy confidence and Sarah Palin’s disdain for the elites — and that dog hunts.

Perry doesn’t just believe, he evangelizes. He summons prayer meetings. He reads scripture while callers are on hold. Not incidentally, he’s a successful governor. Perhaps most important, he’s a wall-scaling fundraiser whose instincts make him a force of nature in the political landscape." [Source]

He is a force of nature alright, I am just glad that god created him. He might be the only one who can save us from these strange  times.

Doggie "diss"?

Did I just watch Justin Bieber pull a wicked a cross-over on Common in the NBA Celebrity All-Star Game? Noooo!

Anyway, if you are a fan of Lady O, you might want to skip this post.

A few weeks ago I listened to Michael Vick do an interview with local sports talk show host, Mike Missanelli. He was asked about his upcoming interview with Oprah and if he knew about the bet she had with Piers Morgan as to who would get an interview with him first. Vick assured Missanelli that Ms. O would win because he didn't even know who Morgan was.

Well Michael, you probably should have gone with Morgan. Seems Vick pulled out of his interview with Ms. O because she was going to ambush him by bringing a dog lover who adopted one of his dogs on her show. (I wonder if she told that to Vick's people? I doubt it.)
Of course Ms. O was not pleased about the last minute cancellation which left her scrambling to replace him, and folks in the know say you don't diss Ms. O. Well, I am sorry, but unless she plans to strap em up and play defensive end for an NFC East team this upcoming season (if they have one) I wouldn't worry too much about Ms. O.

"After careful consideration, I will need to postpone the taping of the Oprah Winfrey interview scheduled for February 22. I admire and respect Oprah and hope to be able to participate in an interview in the future..."

Good move Mike, your Mom will be pissed, but nothing good could have come from that interview. I don't know why you agreed to it in the first place. At the end of the day, Ms. O is going to pander to her dog loving fans, and I can just imagine how that ambush would have gone. Great television for Oprah, but it might have been career suicide for you. Poor pet owners confronting angry black man (who might be getting angrier with every minute) you get the picture.

Anyway, now it seems that Ms. O is upset, and she told the Hollywood Reporter that she prepared for months for the sit down and even did a field trip to Philly with her staff. (*Yawn*) Trust me, she will get over it. The money spent on that field trip is a drop in a very large bucket to Ms. O.

As an Eagles fan I am glad it didn't happen, and if the Eagles themselves stepped in and said don't do it I can't say that I blame them. They are about to give Mike 20 plus million and possibly more down the road. After his meltdown -or if he comes off looking like a jerk- Ms. O won't even give Vick a second thought. She will be long gone and looking for her next Dr. Phil or Rachael Ray.

Some things to hope for in the new year.

The new year isn't officially here yet, but I already have some things that I am hoping and wishing for in 2011:

I am hoping that governor Neil Abercombie of Hawaii will be successful in quieting these "birther" nut cases here in A-merry-ca, forever. Good luck with that Gov.; the mind of the wingnut does not work like us normal folks.

I am hoping that A-merry-cans will stop obsessing over "celebrities" in our culture and start paying more attention to the people who really matter in our society. We can start with folks like our parents, youth coaches, and teachers.

I am hoping that "7" will find true redemption on the football field, and that folks will shut up forever about his damn dogs.

And, speaking of Vick; here is hoping that wingnuts like Tucker Carlson find it in their Christian hearts to forgive.

"Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson followed the company's interesting tradition the other day by making one of the most distasteful and egregious comments in recent media history. Filling in for Sean Hannity, Carlson said that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick should have been executed for dogfighting.

"I'm a Christian, I've made mistakes myself, I believe fervently in second chances," Carlson said. "But Michael Vick killed dogs, and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that. He wasn't, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs? Kind of beyond the pale."

-Yes, and the idea that someone should be "executed" for killing a f&*^%$g dog is not?-

I am hoping that Ms. Thing gives black folks some shine on her new network. I mean how much more Rachael Rays and Doctor Phils can we take?

I am hoping that I am going to hear less of the word insurgents on the nightly news.

I am hoping that the authorities will find Jody Lynn Bennett. (No relation.) Tucker, who is worse? Jody Lynn Bennett, or Michael Vick?

"hand-held video game console and other items were stolen from the coffin of a teenager killed in a car crash on Christmas Day.
Jody Lynn Bennett, 38, of Mentcle, Pennsylvania, grabbed the items from the coffin of 17-year-old Bradley McCombs during a viewing on Monday night at a funeral home 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. State police have named the alleged suspect and said they were still searching for him this morning. "

Oh lawd!!

Finally, I wish that all of you Me-groes would stay out of A-merry-can politics. Charlie, Kwame, Larry, and Sheila; please don't let the door knob hit you where the good lord split you on your way out.

Sarah Vick?

I am totally hyped for my "birds" going into Big D this Sunday and taking on the Cowgals. Here is hoping that my main man, Michael Vick, chuck and ducks out another win for the birds. (Did I mention that I hate the Cowgals?)

Michael Vick is a perfect segue into my next post, because I want to talk about my girl Sarah Palin and an interesting double standard being played out in A-merry-ca.

Unless you have been living on another planet you know by now what Michael Vick was accused -and ultimately found guilty- of. He served two years and lost a hundred million dollars for his mistreatment of Fido. But thankfully, and with all due respect to F. Scott Fitzgerald, there are second acts in American lives. And Michael Vick is burning up the stage while he plays out his. But I digress.

Sarah Palin has been torturing animals and killing them for sport as well, and she is a hero to a lot of people here in A-merry-ca. Why? Where is the outrage for this heartless killer? Sadly, it took a Hollywood screenwriter to point out our willful hypocrisy:

Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation."

You're right, Sarah, we'll all just go fuck ourselves now.

The snotty quote was posted by Sarah Palin on (like all the great frontier women who've come before her) her Facebook page to respond to the criticism she knew and hoped would be coming after she hunted, killed and carved up a Caribou during a segment of her truly awful reality show, Sarah Palin's Alaska, broadcast on The-Now-Hilariously-Titled Learning Channel.

I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather, and PETA is not ever going to put me on the cover of their brochure and for these reasons Palin thinks it's hypocritical of me to find what she did heart-stoppingly disgusting. I don't think it is, and here's why.

Like 95% of the people I know, I don't have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don't relish the idea of torturing animals. I don't enjoy the fact that they're dead and I certainly don't want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn't do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart.

I'm able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical. I don't watch snuff films and you make them. You weren't killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion, you were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals. I can make the distinction between the two of us but I've tried and tried and for the life of me, I can't make a distinction between what you get paid to do and what Michael Vick went to prison for doing. I'm able to make the distinction with no pangs of hypocrisy even though I get happy every time one of you faux-macho shitheads accidentally shoots another one of you in the face." [Source]

I could not have said it better myself.

Sunday rant.

If there is anyone out there reading this post who knows how to make a tackle in football, please send your resume to The Eagles Football Club, 230 N. Broad Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 19145. Thank you.

It was ugly at "the Linc" today, folks. My birds caught a beatdown from the DC dead-skins. "5" came back home and delivered a win for them. And, to make matters worse, Vick looks like he is out for at least six weeks with broken ribs. Damn it's tough to be a birds fan.

Anyway, it's hard to write a post tonight because I am still seeing Clinton Portis gash my team's D for more yards. So anyway, here are a few random thoughts:

I know that OJ Simpson is kicking himself tonight. Man if he could have just stayed out of prison long enough to see this. Oh well, I know where the vacation hot spot will be for NFL players next year. Especially the black ones.

I bet that dude who wrote the article about "Crazy white American folk" in the Village Voice didn't expect this type of backlash. What did he expect? That white folks would just roll over and let him talk about them in unflattering terms? Not anymore. This is not your father's A-merry-ca. White folks are no longer ashamed of their whiteness. And damn it, you liberal tree huggers will not turn this country back to the days of white guilt. Just wait until November 2nd. You all will be wishing that you didn't put that beige man in the people's house.

"I picked up a crack pipe when I was 25 years old because I wanted to try it, and it took me 22 years to un-try it. But it's a wrap now. I lost all that time with a pipe in my mouth. Now it's a mike to my mouth."

El, I just hope that you have your counselor on speed dial. But I wish you the best.

Now that tons of money is pouring in for my girl Sarah light, I hope she spends it wisely this time. One thing she won't be spending it on is tofu. Seems my girl loves her meat....(get our minds out of the gutter readers.)

"WILMINGTON, Del. Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell once told a TV interviewer that she tried several religions but skipped becoming a Hare Krishna because she didn't want to be vegetarian. "

I bet the Hare Krishna folks are happy for that.

Finally, just two more days for the release of Dana Milbank's new book. I can't wait.
I think that Milbank is on to my man, and in his new book I think that he will make a compelling case that the guy is certifiable. But who is crazier? Beckkk and his P.T. Barnum style schtick, or the millions of A-merry-cans who worship at his alter?

It's hard to pick between the two.

I'm out. Hey, does anyone have a football team with a large bandwagon.

Rev. Eddie, Michael, Braylon & Bob

I am not going to write a post about Rev. Eddie tonight. Sorry people, my preacher bashing days are over. Thank you for your prayers. I feel a change coming on.

I honestly feel for the good Reverend's congregation. I sure hope that they can weather this storm and get back to studying up on the word and paying their tithes.

Here in Philly we have a full blown QB controversy, (I knew we shouldn't have gotten rid of "5") and it looks like Michael Vick will be the new Eagles starter. Sorry Kevin, I guess you will just have to take your 12 million and hold the clipboard for awhile. Tough job, but somebody has to do it. Anyway, it's nice to see that there are second acts in A-merry-ca for some people.

Staying with ballers for a minute: So let me get this straight: You can call a high end limo 24/7. Thanks to the Jets you don't pay a dime (not even allowed to tip). Your driver is a paid security professional who is licensed to carry a firearm to protect you. Your limo comes with little perks such as a satellite radio, satellite navigation, and dvd ports. He gets all of this and Braylon Edwards goes out with his boys, gets loaded, and decides to drive home?

Braylon, you know what's really sad? The fact that you haven't learned your lesson. Turns out you were out getting loaded with Donte Stallworth the night he hit and killed that pedestrian back in Miami. But don't worry you will get a second chance. Just be glad that you didn't hit a dog while -allegedly- driving with your buzz on

Finally, Mr. Watergate (boy talk about living off one shining moment) has a new book out about his O ness. Yawn. You will hear about this one for awhile. Obama and his aides disagreed over what to do in Afghanistan. Shocking!

The wingnuts will say that O played politics with the war, and his defenders will say that he did no such thing. And, through it all, Bob Wodward will keep calling his accountant while the cash register goes chi ching.

He is an Eagle dog-gone it!

Michael, as someone who considers himself somewhat of a clothes pony, let me say for the record, that I loved the suit. Your press conference today was perfect. You said all the right things, and sounded articulate doing it. You looked "Eagle Nation" and the rest of A-merry-ca in the eye, and declared yourself a changed man. You apologized for your past wrongs and vowed to be a model citizen.

Personally, that's all I needed to see. You paid your debt to society in spades, and you deserve a second chance. As a member of "Eagle Nation" I can unequivocally say that you will help our football team as well, because our back up quarterbacks stink, and at some point in this coming season I can assure you that "5" will go down.

Rick Pitino, that scum bag, must be the happiest man in A-merry-ca right now, because the Eagles signing you took him off the front page and out of the headlines. He should send Jeff Laurie half of his check from Louisville next year. But I digress.

Now, as I suspected, the white folks here in "Eagle Nation" are not pleased. (Yes, this has broken down along racial lines here in Philly. So what else is new? Blacks folks are welcoming him with open arms. My pet loving white friends, on the other hand, not so much.) They don't think Mike has been punished enough. They see Mike as nothing but a cold hearted dog murderer, and poor Fido can't come back. One woman was crying on the radio this morning (C-R-Y-I-N-G-) because of the way her dog was looking at her last night after the news. "It's as if he knew" is what she told the host.

Now you white folks have got to quit this madness: He killed a fucking dog! A dog! Dogs are no different than chickens, fish, and cows when it comes to the food chain pecking order. I know we don't eat them but some people do. And yes they make nice pets (give me a dog over a cat any day) but they don't contribute shit to society but give people from dog food companies jobs...well, OK, there are the seeing eye dogs and rescue dogs, but they are still dogs.

If Michael Vick had killed and abused little black babies not one of the people in an uproar now would give a flying fuck. There are players in the NBA and NFL who father multiple children and don't take responsibility for them, and no one cares. If those same players had abandoned their dogs the way they did their kids there would be hell to pay. Right here in Philly there was a popular baseball player who battered his wife, and the public outcry from the Philly faithful was nothing like it is now. I wonder why?

A friend of mine is a season ticket holder, and he wanted to see if he could get better seats under his plan. He called the Eagles front office to see if anyone had canceled their season tickets (this was around 1:00PM today) and not one person had canceled. Not one. So where are all the people here in Philly who have vowed to rip up their season tickets and not watch another Eagles game? Could it be that they were all full of shit? It could be I guess, or maybe they all just want a chance to boo Vick in person. One loud F- YOU for Fido.

Dog days for Mike.

No truth to the rumor that Nike dropped Michael Vick and Hush Puppy picked him up......I know white folks that wasn't funny.



But seriously, if this story with Vick and the dogs is true, he is cooked. America will never forgive him! He would have had a better chance of redemption if he had killed his wife like another famous football player did. I have blogged on the issue of white folks and their pets before, and if you thought I was lying, watch how this Vick thing plays itself out.



On my to work this morning it was all over AM radio stations, and I am not just talking about the sports shows. One guy actually called in and asked for the "death penalty" if it could be proven that Vick actually trained dogs to fight.



Now let me say for the record, I love dogs; If I had to make a choice between a dog and a cat it wouldn't even be close. They don't call them "man's best friends" for nothing. Still, I just don't get it with A-merry-ca and animals. There is so much hypocrisy involved with this entire situation that it's almost laughable. I can hear Joe "Sixpack" over the dinner table now: "Honey can you believe what this jerk did to those poor animals? The man should be put under the jail; how can you do that to a poor dog, another living thing for crying out loud? Ahhh could you pass the steak for me please?" Context America, context.


Sorry, I live in a city where 222 human beings like me have been murdered so far this year; so you will excuse me if I don't lose any sleep over Micheal Vick's fucking dogs.