Man F*%*s With Dogs, Dogs Kill Man

It was bound to happen, all this coverage of Michael Vick's dog issues, and all those pictures of those poor innocent dogs being tortured, was sure to piss off their boys in dog land.

Now it seems that some of the dogs have taken revenge on one of us, a human. Like what did we expect, they were just going to let that shit go? Yep, seems a few of these dogs mauled a care taker at my twins L.A. home. Ain't that a bitch? (Can I say that when I am talking about dogs, or will they be offended?) Anyway, I wonder where all the PETA people will be now? I wonder if there will be outrage that these dogs sent this poor care taker to his maker? And, of course, the poor guy as it turns out was a brother. Hey, those dogs aren't stupid, they were having Vick flashbacks and shit.

Lord I hope Ving didn't do anything criminally negligent and his mug won't be plastered all over the news. "Field, was that you on the cover of the Daily News in that mug shot? Damn it sure looked like you. Naw man that was Ving Rhames, his dogs killed his care taker. Too much Michael Vick coverage in the dog house I guess."

I wonder if they will put the dogs to sleep? Or if Ving will fight to keep them alive? Ving is, after all, a brother. And you know how we are with our pets. Hell, Ving's dogs might have been just hungry for all we know. " Mr. Rhames did you know that these dogs have not eaten in five days? No officer I didn't know that, I was away on a movie shoot."

But seriously, I don't mean to make fun of this, a man lost his life, and that's tragic. But it does bring this whole animal versus human thing in perspective doesn't it? I hope this will help everyone remember that at the end of the day, we are talking about animals here, and sometimes animals will act like....well animals.

Ving, I got your back, if they lock you up a brother can double for you and split your fees.

I might even do it for free if you can get a brother Lark's number.

Dog days for Mike.

No truth to the rumor that Nike dropped Michael Vick and Hush Puppy picked him up......I know white folks that wasn't funny.



But seriously, if this story with Vick and the dogs is true, he is cooked. America will never forgive him! He would have had a better chance of redemption if he had killed his wife like another famous football player did. I have blogged on the issue of white folks and their pets before, and if you thought I was lying, watch how this Vick thing plays itself out.



On my to work this morning it was all over AM radio stations, and I am not just talking about the sports shows. One guy actually called in and asked for the "death penalty" if it could be proven that Vick actually trained dogs to fight.



Now let me say for the record, I love dogs; If I had to make a choice between a dog and a cat it wouldn't even be close. They don't call them "man's best friends" for nothing. Still, I just don't get it with A-merry-ca and animals. There is so much hypocrisy involved with this entire situation that it's almost laughable. I can hear Joe "Sixpack" over the dinner table now: "Honey can you believe what this jerk did to those poor animals? The man should be put under the jail; how can you do that to a poor dog, another living thing for crying out loud? Ahhh could you pass the steak for me please?" Context America, context.


Sorry, I live in a city where 222 human beings like me have been murdered so far this year; so you will excuse me if I don't lose any sleep over Micheal Vick's fucking dogs.

I wish I was a white person's pet

especially a dog.

In case you didn't know this; white people really really treat their pets well. I swear, white people love their pets more than they love people. Seriously, they have clothes for their pets, gourmet foods for their pets, exercise schools for their pets, they take their pets in their cars everywhere with them, they have pet hotels,......well, you get the picture. I hope your life never depends on a white person choosing between you and their pet, or trust me, you will be a dead SOB.

I heard a white guy on the radio once talking about the fact that he just paid $3,000 to try to save his dog's life after some type of growth was found on its throat. He says the dog was old (11 years old I think) and even though the dog died, he said it was worth every penny. And I have a co-worker who pays $30 per day to keep his dog in the doggy day-care while both he and his wife are working . And he is not alone. If you have some money and want to open a profitable business, you might want to consider a doggy day care or a pet hotel in Center City, Philadelphia. You would be rich!

Ten people were shot to death this past weekend in Philadelphia, but that was still page two news here. Now I guarantee you that if there were ten dogs shot all across the city, white people would be losing their f*****g minds. It would be on FOX and CNN. "What? Ten dogs shot? My God what is this country coming to? How can someone just shoot an innocent dog?" The life expectancy of the average white person's pet is probably longer than that of an infant in most poor neighborhoods in this country. The infant mortality rate of puppies as opposed to little Indian and poor black and white children. Mmmmm, it would be interesting to find that out, wouldn't it? Hey, I am sure it's close, cause I bet white people spend more on their pet's health- care than us black folks spend on our own kids. (Someone should consider doing a study on that one)

And don't even get me started about you black folks and your pets. Damn you all treat your pets bad. I mean why would a dog or a pet even want to be owned by a black person? And honestly, you all don't need to be having pets any damn way. You don't have to do everything that white folks do. They can afford it, you can't. I remember I had a black lab when I was in law school, named Virgo -may his soul rest in peace. My girlfriend at the time didn't even want Virgo in the house when she came over, (black folks don't keep their pets in the house) and she would lose her f*****g mind when Virgo came around her. I bet if I had a white girlfriend she wouldn't have had a problem with Virgo being in the house. Why? Because white people are programed from child hood to love their pets. Black people are programed to treat their pets like....well animals. We use them to guard our shit while white folks see them as a part of the family.

So now the country is in an uproar because poison was found in some pet food. As a result, white folks are losing their freaking minds again. Law suits are flying left and right, every major news outlet is on the story, and even congress is getting involved. I saw a white lady in the paper and she was beside her self with grief and rage because her pet had died from tainted pet -food. The inhumanity! I mean, the in-pet-manity! I really hope that the Republic can survive this.

Any day now those CEO's from Purina and all those other pet companies will be doing a perp walk just like Ken Lay from Enron did.  White folks will be watching and cheering every tortured step.

On a more serious note:

Before I go I would like to apologize to Condoleezza Rice for referring to her as the "bad perm lady" in the past. I am publicly apologizing (something I never do) because in light of what happened recently with Don Imus, I realize that I am somewhat of a hypocrite. I can't rip the old coot for calling my sisters "nappy headed hoes", when, in essence, I was doing the same thing in a public forum about the most powerful sister in the country.

So Condi, I am sorry for my choice of words, and I will never call you the "bad perm lady" again.