Monday, August 06, 2007

A day in the life

It's Monday evening, and if you just had a hard days work, and want to something to cheer you up, stop reading now, and visit my site again another time.

Why? Because I am pissed off, and this is going to be an angry ass post, that's why.

I will start with earlier on today. So there I am sitting in "gun court", watching and listening to some cases before mine is called; as young black male after young black male are being brought up from the Criminal Justice Center cell room into court. The circumstances are a little different, but the charges are all pretty much the same. (Hey, it's gun court) Every one of these young men were found with guns on their person in a very dangerous part of town. Some of them were slinging, and some were just popped in a car stop. But on it goes; charge after charge, plea deals after plea deals, and the beat never stops. Another day on the other side of that Killadelphia murder count. Some will get probation and house arrest, some will get sent to do county or state time, and some will end up back on the streets or in someones funeral home within weeks. Nowhere in the court room is a fucking father, nowhere! There are a few mothers, grandmothers, and girlfriends, but no fucking fathers! Invariably as one of the few men of color in the court room (besides the cops) these defendants always end up giving me the stare down, as if I can now play the role of someone who should have been playing it for the duration of their young lives. I look, but I can't help. Sadly, it's too late now, another young black male lost, a mind already poisoned by the streets, a future already snatched away.

So all of that shit started my day on the salty side, and of course it went straight down hill from there. I am reading about the poor immigrant who is abducted shot and beaten for 29 fucking dollars because some ignorant ass wannabe gangster thought the guy owned a fast food joint. I am reading about Jason Henry who terrorised his mother so much that she had to cal 911 on his ass. Then, when the cops came, he attacked them with a butcher knife, only to become the 11th shooting victim of the Killadelphia police. I won't even get into the justification of the shoot, because that shit is irrelevant to my frame of mind right now. And then there were the three Delaware State college students, (On my sidebar) shot execution style in their hometown of Newark by some animals (or animal) masquerading as humans (Where are Michael Vick's dogs when you need them?) who saw it fit to end their young promising lives. And, to top it all off, I am feeling like a fucking hypocrite for watching the "Bourne ***Supremacy**" with all its violence and mayhem this weekend and loving every minute of it.

So I am thinking about all of that shit as I head to lunch. Then, as I read my blog and cruise the web during some down time, I am reading where mother fuckers on other sites are trashing the AfroSpear. A bunch of bloggers of color trying to unify behind some common goals and maybe, even in a small way, influence public policy or the debate about black folks for the better; yet we are being nit picked on by our own fucking people before the majority population can even get their teeth into what we are trying to do. Yep, these back benchers, rather than get involved and work with their brothers and sisters, creep around from blog to blog and push their negative energy to all who will listen or read.

And don't even get me started on the white progressives on the web. Nope, not feeling them either. Today I had to spend precious time in an e-fight with a mother fucker who thinks he is free to espouse whatever bullshit he pleases, just because he got a black card from some jazz fucking musician back in the day. Like because he played with Mingus or Miles he can't be full of shit. Then the folks at Koz want to start a bloggers union for crying out loud! Like WTF? A bloggers union? Talk about misguided energy. Oh, and did I mention that the fucking dimocrats in the Senate, those wimps, allowed King George to trample all over our rights yet again. Great, now when my cousin from Jamaica visits me, and wants to call his girlfriend in London, the folks at Langley will be scrambling to decode my fucking phone number. Oh, and did I mention that the surge is working. Didn't you hear? The New York Times no less said it is, so that makes it alright for conservatives to quote the Times now and use it as gospel. Forget the fact that the Sunnis just walked away from the central government in Iraq, and the insurgents have just shifted their focus to the Northern part of the country where the troops are not. Nope, it's working because General Petraeus, our new American hero, said so. Like he is Patton, JFK, and Roosevelt all wrapped into one all of a sudden. News flash! He is a political flunky to the great King George-like he got where he is by being a great soldier- and when September rolls around he will prove it.

But enough of my ranting, that's enough for one day. I think I will check the evening news now and see if I can update my Killadelphia body count meter. Oh, did I mention that the Mayor of Baltimore fired their police chief? Yeah I am glad this fucking day is over, and it's only Monday.

Maybe tomorrow I will start with a V8.

***That movie was the "Bourne Ultimatum and not Supremacy***


Michael Fisher said...

Since you seen the Bourne Ultimatum maybe you noticed that of all the people that Jason Bourne knocked out, the ONLY ONE he killed (after a long and protracted struggle) was the black/mulatto/Arab assassin in Tangier. And with his bare hands, too.

Of course, the black beast had to be killed having relentlessly pursued the blond white woman.

Still love every minute of the film?

field negro said...

"Still love every minute of the film?"

Damn MF, it's late, let me think about that.... OK you raise an interesting point, but didn't the "black beast" come closest to kicking Bourne's ass? he sure feared better than some of the white villains.

Anonymous said...

The Dems are squandering the 2006 victory as quickly as they can. Maybe you should give me your honorary HN award... I think you've already broken tradition and given it to someone not of color... now you can give it to a bunch of white people.

I voted for them, like a lot of progressives, so they could restore accountability. I understood the argument that impeachment and hearings would distract from their agenda, and was willing to go along with that logic as long as they were actually ADVANCING that agenda. How is capitulating to the Bushites on domestic surveillance, Iraq et al a part of that picture.

On Petraeus, he's smart and he knows how his bread is buttered. He's already pushed the timetable back on the surge once, and come September he'll do it again.

This nation is bereft of real adults in positions of leadership.


Anonymous said...

Oops, I meant give THEM the HN award... though since I voted for them in all my naive good faith, maybe I deserve it too.


Michael Fisher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael Fisher said...

"but didn't the "black beast" come closest to kicking Bourne's ass?"

That's the point.

The psychology of white supremacy is above all marked by fear. Fear of the Black Man. Remember, Thomas Jefferson already said that he feared that God's Justice would turn the tables on white folks.

White folks, particularly white men, are basically cowards when it comes to black men. Have you ever heard of a white racist taking on a black man mano-a-mano? Without a weapon? Without a mob backing him?

Of course you haven't.

Thus the white male fantasy must continuously be fed with the soothing picture that while, yes, the black man is fearsome, he, the black male beast, with much effort and unity among white folks can be defeated.

It's an age-old plot. Rocky was almost beaten to death by Apollo Creed, by Mr. T, etc.

At the same time the message to black folk is the opposite. That is "You might think that you can beat the white man, but at the end..."

Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden said...

08 07 07

Hey FN:
Hope you feel better. Sounds like your soul was heavy today and with good reason. Whenever I think about the state of our folks in the USA, it saddens me. HOWEVER, YOU are making a difference by continuing to do your job. You really don't know the effect that your presence has in the courtroom and who knows who you will inspire!

As to the Afrospear network, I am a bit saddened that folk have come out to hate. I will say that there are a few bloggers within the network that are quick to question ones Blackness if one disagrees. YET this network is inherently based on a good idea.
Ultimately, I stopped going to sites like bookerrising because all those Negroes really seemed to do was bitch bitch bitch with no real solutions to issues.

So although I mayn't agree with your politics in all matters, I agree with the intentions of your soul which are admirable.

The only thing we can do is to keep the faith that things will one day get better. AND of course continue to do your job and well.

Take care!

Anonymous said...

Re: Bourne Movie: I was more put off by the previews. There is a Jodie Foster movie in which she murders a "black beast". It was pretty intense--and it was the trailer!

After this one, during the Denzel movie trailer "American Gangster", I heard some white guy in the (mostly white) theater breathe, "that's racist".

-Caged Lion

Liz Dwyer said...

When you listed all those things out like that, it made my heart hurt. I admire the strength you have to keep going. Our world is in so much pain and sometimes it's so hard to not be angry or sad. It's not easy when folks want to play games and spend time merely debating online instead of letting actions speak for them.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Field, you are experiencing what Field Negroes are supposed to feel about what's happening in a world that's supposed to belong to everyone, and belongs to no one but who has the gold.

It's easy to blame the absence of fathers in black men's lives, but I have to dish blame on the mothers, too. Why would a woman lay down with a man that she can't depend on to be there for her when she needs him most? (Like when she gets pregnant).

Rikyrah has said often that you have fathers and mothers; then you have sperm and egg donors. My pastor shared that a woman's greatest influence over a man is when she's not between the sheets with him. Now, I know some who visit this board will say I'm being a prude, but my opinion is this - when you engage in lovemaking, it is the most intimate that there is, and if your partner, male or female, has not demonstrated themselves to be worthy of that intimacy, then you have what you are seeing - single mothers trying to raise sons (and most do well with their boys, too), and fathers walking away and not giving a damn about the children they helped create.

I don't know what else to say here, except, yes, the absence of a father figure has massive impact, but the mother must do her part as well, and if she sees that her son's father isn't worth a damn, find some men in her family that can step up for young brothas. I suspect that's why people in the courtroom were looking at you, Field - but you can't take that responsibility until you're aware of it, and the people allow you to.

Your post made me angry, too, because our so-called African-American leaders are worrying about currying favor with Bush, gay marriage, abortion - issues, which are very far down on the list of priorities of most Americans - not to mention pimp-daddy preachers whoring for Bush and bling-blingin, while decrying about how much is being done for the Black man.

The Days of Martin, Malcolm and Medgar have long been over, and ain't nobody coming to save us. We must save our damn selves if we're going to survive in this bastard.

Woozie said...

Easy man, don't have a stroke on us. Take a minute and breathe!

Anonymous said...

Depressing, for sure.

Anonymous said...


AfroSpear is doing an excellent job, don't stress on the haters. Most of it is jealousy due to their own inability to shine and raise awareness, eventually success with Afrospear will prevail over their medicrity. Black people have to learn how to stop being so damn divisive and learn how to work toward unity in order to solve our damn problems!!!


Anonymous said...

I'm with you Christian Progressive Liberal. I just did a post on the mothers who fail. I've seen a few (but not many) black mothers who are failing their kids. And its so frustrating. Sadly, I think my cousin is one of them. She has a roof over her son's head and she has a job but she's barely making it.

And while barely making it doesn't mean she's a failing the fact that she works 6am-2pm but doesnt come home until midnight does. So does the fact that she has to borrow $20 and $30 at a time and doesnt pay her car note on time but manages to spend $70 at a hair salon, get her nails done and buy herself new clothes does constitute failure in my eyes.

And none of that has anything to do with a man not being there or "the system".

Francis Holland said...

I haven't seen the Afrospear haters, but their hate screeds will only bring more attention to the work of the AfroSpear, which will help us to grow. When people see who's against us, then they'll know they need to be with us.

I think we need to respect the 2nd amendment, but limit gun ownership in ways like these:

Require annual vision tests for a gun license;

Require that licensee applicants submit a $300 bond against the expenses of anyone who might be hurt with the gun.

Require that licence applicants have passed a gun ownership course similar to driving training, and not to include less that 90 hours of training at a licensed gun training school.

No one who has been convicted of a felony a misdemeanor or traffic offense should be issued a gun license.

All guns should have to weigh at least 50 pounds, so that children will not be able to lift them.

All guns should be at least six feet long and made of titanium so that they cannot be concealed and the barrels cannot be easily cut off.

All gun sales, new and used, should be taxed at 2,000%, with the revenue used to support national health care.

Gun manufacturing plants should be restricted to areas zoned for gun manufacturing plants. No areas are so designated now, and no such zones should be authorized in the future.

If all of those restriction are implemented, then I would support the 2nd Amendment and the right to keep and bear arms.

-=Topper=- said...

Well zippy do do da field you're angry.

Well you're supposed, fuck, yea without the ** be.

We're all supposed to be, but for some g-d damn reason in this backwater fucked up dive called the US some aren't.

What the g-d damn fuck they need a cattle prod right up the poop shoot to get a rise out of their sorry ass?

Fucking bunch of sheep in this country. Lemmings more than likely but they ain't going anywhere, can't fucking move sitting on their g-d damn stupid ass hands.

Be angry field. Shit I'm so g-d damn angry at this cess pooled pot bellied fat ass pig that I don't even fucking know what it is that I am responding too in your g-d damn post.

But g-d damnit if I put a smile on your g-d damn face well then g-d damn it my work here is fucking done.

Ever get the idea I just love to g-d damn swear?


Francis Holland said...

The New York Times says,

"19-Year-Old Confesses in Killing of Editor (Chauncey Bailey, editor of The Oakland Post)

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 6 — A 19-year-old handyman at a bakery has confessed to murdering a well-known newspaper editor in downtown Oakland last week, the police said Monday. (. . .) Friday’s raid resulted in the discovery of the weapon used to kill Mr. Bailey and two other men in July, the police said. Those killings were part of a crime spree that police said also included a pair of kidnappings on May 18 in east Oakland. Two other men associated with the bakery, Joshua Bey, 19, and Tamon Halfin, 21, are also expected to be charged on Tuesday with those crimes, Mr. Jordan said.

Joshua Bey is a son of Yusef Bey, a prominent black Muslim leader who founded the bakery in 1968. The elder Mr. Bey died in 2003 while facing rape charges in relation to accusations that he had fathered a child with a 13-year-old girl.

Another of Mr. Bey’s sons, Yusef Bey IV, is also being held by the police in relation to the Bailey killing and other crimes. Yusef Bey, 23, had been running the bakery since his brother Antar Bey was killed during a carjacking attempt in 2005, said Lorna P. Brown, who is defending Yusef Bey IV on several other pending cases." New York Times

west coast story said...

Sigh. I started to post on this. It's so painful to write about I just can't. But I will say, the Bey clan were gangsters before the old man died. It's disgusting that city mothers and fathers were guilted into thinking they had to kowtow to these guys. It's ironic that the Bey who is now telling all was onboard when rumors swirled about their strong arm tactics going back to the 1990's. It didn't just start when Minister Bey died.

I didn't know Chauncey even though this is a pretty small town in a lot of ways. He was confrontational and sometimes made me nuts but I watched his TV show and read his articles when he worked for the Tribune. He was another voice, another point of view. I cannot begin to tell you how painful it is for me that he died like this. People here are just in shock. This is Third World shit, killing a reporter for doing his job. It's awful.

The story Chauncey was working on was about fraud in the turnover of the business after old man Bey died.

In the meantime, there is fallout from many in the community across all socio economic lines about our tiny police department. Because besides Bailey's murder, six other people were killed over the weekend and crime is just out of control.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Thank you for verifying what I was suspecting here on the East Coast regarding Chauncey, WCC. Having grown up in Oakland, and having followed Chauncey's career since Bob Maynard was Editor of the Trib, I knew he had to be tracking something that would get the Bey family's shorts in a bind.

And don't get me started on OPD - at last count, the force has an estimated 700 police officers, to patrol a city with a population of close to half a million people...

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I checked out your little e-fight w/Arthur Gilroy... he seems a little mentally disturbed.

I appreciated your comment about investing more in witness protection as the only way to combat "anti-snitch" culture. It seems so blatantly obvious that that would be the answer, so why aren't they doing it now? Is there no money, or just not enough? Who qualifies as of now for witness protection, and when? You're a lawyer, I'd appreciate your feedback.

Also, it reminds me of the Innocence Project. Anyone heard of this? A private organization a couple of years ago founded by some lawyer who say a big problem going unaddressed actually pays to test the DNA of convicted death row inmates to ensure they got the right guy. Chillingly enough, they've exonerated some people through the Innocence Project. (Have we executed any innocent men?)

I know it's about $$$, but why doesn't even case involving capital crimes (and lengthy jail times) come with a DNA test already? I mean, we've apparently got the money to fry people, which last time I checked wasn't cheap either. Anybody?


Anonymous said...


Your post made me wonder why people aren't required to have insurance policies on their guns? We have to have car insurance, motorcycle insurance, boat insurance, and house insurance. Why not have require people to have insurance on their guns?

The dues paid can go into a general fund to educate people about responsible gun use, and to help victims of gun violence. The policy can also reimburse people in the case of theft or damage.

Shanikka said...


Sorry that today was just messed up for you. And that you had to handle folks who Just Don't Get It on top of everything else when you got home to boot.

I don't know what's going on in terms of the Afrospear and infighting and am better off not knowing. That stuff is beyond depressing. But you're always welcome to come vent at my blog. It's tiny, and right now a whole passel of folks are visiting and not talking, but it's there.

The larger issue of Where are the Fathers is tough to talk about. Sometimes I see these young people and it's almost as if they are *proud* that they are not taking care of their business, i.e. they don't have legitimate job or education and don't seem to want to pursue either; they are earning their money catch-as-catch can or, worse, illegally; and their kids and the women that had them, their "babymamas". (They say it like it's all one word out here in California.)

But they also seem to be operating under a combined lack of moral compass and a sense that a person has the "right" to vent his or her anger and angst or sense of entitlement on other people -- in this case, our communities-- just because they are there. That, combined with a diminished connection to the idea that life itself has value no matter what else you don't have, is becoming lethal, IMO.

I'm not sure where the disconnect came, culturally for us. When I was growing up, a lot of families broke up -- but fathers were still THERE. Maybe not in the house, but definitely still involved, with real fathering, with their children. I don't know what changed - it's too easy to blame it on teen parents, yet there have always been teen parents. It's too easy to blame it on "ghetto", because most of us have always lived in the ghetto. It might have something to do with church going, since fewer of us do, but that still isn't completely it because this nonsense is happening with folks who practically live in church, too.

My theory is that at least part of it happened because we believed the hype. We believed that we actually overcame. We believed that just because a few of us got ahead, and "made it" that suddenly we could abandon all the values that sustained us. Too many of us became about "I got mine, get yours", and sent the message that it was possible to beat racism and the man individually. Well, when that proved to be a lie, we were left with young people raised under a cultural value system that did not reward supporting the collective anymore; it focused only on the individual. As it became clearer and clearer to those "left behind" that they would not only be left behind, but that the onus was on them to prove that they had worth since those who got out were "proof" that anyone could, they developed resentments, and frustrations and began willing simply for the sake of power and money to vamp on their own people. That's my way of saying that I think it comes from a combination of not raised right and having no hope. At least, I see that a lot out here.

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