No racism chasing for me tonight (although I could). Nope, tonight I want to talk about men who can't stand rejection.
The latest type of this individual comes from the University of Virginia. His name is George Huguely, and it seems that like OJ before him, he couldn't deal with hearing those two little words: it's over. And so now, like OJ (and yes, for all of you who are still in denial; OJ did kill Nicole), this lacrosse player-What is it with these lacrosse players?- has allegedly killed his former girlfriend.
Ahhh, some men and rejection. All I had to do was google" man kills ex girlfriend", and I came up with this and this and this and this and this and....well, you get the picture. All of those links are to not so famous cases. But every now and then we get an OJ or a case like the one going on down in Virginia ,which, sadly, brings the reality of this phenomenon home.
And fellows, let's be real with each other; at some point in our dating lives we have all been on the other side of the dumping, and it hurt. But we all moved on didn't we? And when we started dating the new girlfriend we wondered what all the fuss was about. Sadly, some dudes aren't wired that way. Whether it's ego, or some sick form of neurosis, breaking up is not only hard to do, but it could be fatal with one of these types of cats.
Ladies I wish I could tell you what to look for to help you spot the next OJ or George, but I have no idea. The guy might seem quite normal and charming, you decide to swing an episode or two with him, and when you decide to move on, he decides to go all male Glenn Close on you. Hey, I guess in a way it's a crap shoot. So my best advise to you ladies is to let him down easy. And if it seems like he is still not taking it too well watch your back. Just remember, you can't be too careful.
The links I gave you were to cases that ended in the most tragic ways imaginable. Unfortunately there are thousands of cases every day ( I know, I see some of them) that are more than likely going to end up that way as well.
76 comments:
Field,
Maybe he was a Street Pirate.
Or just a douche bag.
I vote for the latter.
yes, this is tragic and but i think it's disgusting the way it is on good morning america and all over the media, when every day women of color are murdered by men they knew--and never get this much publicy. pretty white girl, pretty white boy.
What are they putting in the water at universities in Virginia? Va Tech massacres and now this.
No body here knows the entire story. Perhaps did she say something to deserve it -- you do not know, I do not know. He is very handsome in my humble opinion, therefore probably does he have a good reason.
Bruno,
Your parody trolling has become tedious.
When I was an undergrad, women (often Black) would make dates with me and then cancel at the last minute. Once, I paid seventy-five dollars for tickets to see an art show and on the night of the show they said they weren't coming. I wanted to hunt them down with an ax.
(Black women, if you've broken a date with a brother at the last minute, that may have been the minute he called some white girl and went with her instead. We Black men have feelings too, and we're not going to be endlessly played with just so we can date a girl whose color is brown. Fortunately, my Afro-Brazilian wife never played me like that and that's why we've been together for these five years.)
Black American men, if you feel like Black women from the United States are toying with you, or they want a man with a doctorate, then come down here to Brazil. An American school teacher with a bachelors degree or a car mechanic who owns a car look really good to Black women here.
After those broken dates, I learned to invite two women for the same night so that if one of them didn't come then the other one would. And if they both showed up, we'd all go together. I saw Patti La Belle with a Black woman to my left and an Irish woman with red hair to my right. Since the Irish woman wanted me more, I ended dating her for a year.
Anyway, we're fortunate that this man only (it seems) favored green-eyed white woman, because otherwise he might have killed a Black woman. Sometimes whites' color-aroused ideation ("I only date white girls" and emotions ("I hate white girls because they frustrate me"), and behavior (killing a white woman) is an example of color arousal making life easier for Black women in a country where white men predominate.
Imagine the trouble we'd have if the thirty percent of America that is white men suddenly started finding Black women so attractive that they would openly date, lust after and kill Black women (more than they did historically) and the way this guy did.
White men's fascination with white women is actually saving us a lot of heart-ache.
It's all over the media because, WHITE folk's OWN the Media, and why not show WHITE BOY'S doing their Wicked deed? why not put them on front street? good for the media, expose these little SPOILED HEATHEN'S!
White kid's have been killing left and right, they go into school's and Massacre innocent kid's, and people want to talk about Black youth, well, when WHITE kid's kill, they don't intend to leave any one standing!
BRUNO LEICHT, a young white boy killed a white girl! she is DEAD! why? well, her so called (BOY FRIEND) decided he wanted her DEAD! so now, the young man, will get a lawyer and the lawyer will say, (THE YOUNG MAN was CRAZY) he will probably go to a (FAKE CRAZY HOUSE)! and then he will get out in FIVE YEAR'S! this is called Rich White Justice!
ISEEISEE
black women are more likely to be victims of assault than any other women. the assailants are normally black males. post things about how black women are repeatedly victimized by black men. that's the real and more important story. it's amusing that a post would be made about some white guy who dusts off "his" girl. and as a bw who has been harrassed and called bitch on the street by bm, i can testify to black males have grave difficulties with rejections, esp. when it's at the hands of a bw. i mean, how dare SHE not want him.
FRANCISE L. HOLLAND, what can I say about your comment? for trust me, you said a LOT! so are you saying, WHITE MEN have ISSUE'S? are you saying, WHITE MEN really don't Cherise White Women? are you saying White Men HATE White Women? if so, well, they do tend to MURDER their wife for Insurance Money! this is a fact!
My niece married a White man, guess what came to my mind? my niece has a Temper! I was told, she boss's this man around, oop's, she really has no idea, the TRUE NATURE of a WHITE MAN, see, a White man will buy you flower's and yet, they will be planning your Demise at the same time!
White men are SHREWD! Black men are more open! most will not hesitate to tell wife of girl friend, they will whip their behind, if they make them angry, but, this may be a threat, but some will do the deed, it all deepen's on the man, but, it is best to know what you are going to get, so you can be prepared and ready for (BATTLE) but, with a White man, they will ATTACK you in your sleep, you are not (Prepared) for (BATTLE) he bought you flower's, but, he has a (Gun) under his pillow, waiting for you to fall asleep! and how many White women wake up the next day? NONE! this a fact!
ISEEISEE
I can't how many black women I knew that have been murdered. None of them made headlines or the news. Nope, we heard about it word of mouth.
Two black women that worked in the same building were murdered by their men, one by her husband and the other one by her boyfriend who by the way happened to be one of the maintenance men that worked in the same building. The guy seemed like a nice guy and was real friendly, everyone liked him. He used to stop by my desk and chit chat with me for a few.
The day he killed his girlfriend, I happened to pass him on my way in, he was on his way out. He seemed to be in hurry. It was odd that he didn't really stop and say a few words, but at the time I didn't really think about it one way or the other because I felt he may have been late for an appointment or something.
He was in a hurry alright, in a hurry to go and stab that girl sixteen times, while her baby was there. She had just came back from a trip down South, where she had gotten engaged and just came back to get all of her stuff. Apparently, she had called him and broke it off. While she was in the shower, he had managed to break in her apartment, when she came out he was waiting on.
One of my friends her one and only daughter was murdered for the same reason, breaking up with her boyfriend, and my friend always tells me how she misses her daughter and every year on the anniversary of her daughter's death she goes through a depression.
None of those women made the news or headlines. Only their families and friends acknowledge them in their death. It's sad when another human being kills another, but what is even sadder is when some human beings think that your death means nothing and that only people with their skin color whose life has ended in senseless killing is worth mentioning all others not worth the time of day. Smh!
I had a cousin, her husband shot her in her back six times while she running to get away from him. Then he beat her and she was dead. He beat her so bad until the funeral home said that even with a picture he couldn't fix her face. Her funeral was a closed casket.
In my lifetime, there were many others that I knew didn't make the morning, afternoon, or evening news, and not so much as two lines in the newspaper front, middle, or back section. They only made the obituary section announcing the funeral day and time.
Sup Francis? Yes, for all of you who dont know; Francis lives in Brazil, and Francis speaks from the heart. We may not agree, but it's honest.
Gregory, I sure hope that Bruno is using parody, if not he is one scary dudue. 0)
"black women are more likely to be victims of assault than any other women. the assailants are normally black males. post things about how black women are repeatedly victimized by black men. that's the real and more important story. it's amusing that a post would be made about some white guy who dusts off "his" girl. and as a bw who has been harrassed and called bitch on the street by bm, i can testify to black males have grave difficulties with rejections, esp. when it's at the hands of a bw. i mean, how dare SHE not want him."
Are you a bf? Or, better yet, are you some kind of sociologist who has done a paper on this subject? How do you know all these things?
I would love to see a link to some of your published works.
it's common knowledge.
but here are some links and a study: (btw, the highest rates of domestic violence are against native american women, and remember all are under-reported)
http://www.womenofcolorunited.org/vaw-and-hiv-aids-background/
Women of Color and Violence in the U.S.: (Data from the Asian and Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence and the National Violence Against Women Survey)
According to the Asian and Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence 41-60% of API respondents reported experiencing domestic violence (physical and/or sexual) during their lifetimes.
An estimated 29.1% of African American females are victimized by intimate partner violence in their lifetime. African American females experience intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and at about 2.5 times the rate of women of other races combined. An estimated 70% of sexual assaults are not reported. For every white woman that reports rape, at least 5 white women do not report. For every African American woman that reports rape, at least 15 African American women do not report. Approximately 40% of Black women report coercive contact of a sexual nature by age 18.
According to the National Violence Against Women Survey (NVAWS), in a lifetime 23.4% of Hispanic/Latino females are victimized by intimate partner violence (IPV), which is defined as rape, physical assault or stalking.
and
http://gsep.pepperdine.edu/news-events/media-resources/aggression-and-violent-behavior-january-february-2009.pdf
here's an excerpt:
A decade later, the second NFVS was conducted to assess
prevalence of IPV and trends in violence that had occurred since
1975. This survey study assessed a total of 6002 American families,
including 576 African American married couples. Racial differences in
prevalence of IPV found were similar to those found in the initial
NFVS, with a significantly higher rate of overall IPV among African
Americans (169 per 1000 families) than Caucasians (107 per 1000
families). Additionally, rates of severe IPV against wives were higher
among African Americans (64 per 1000) than Caucasians (28 per 1000
families). Hampton and Gelles (1994) further examined the incidence
and risk factors for IPV among the African American respondents from
the second NFVS. Their analyses indicated that African American
women were 1.23 times more likely to undergo minor IPV and 2.36
times more likely to endure severe IPV than were Caucasian women.
Although differences in prevalence rates were not significant after
controlling for income level, African American women in the lowest
income bracket still evidenced slightly elevated levels of male-
perpetrated IPV victimization than did Caucasian women. A statisti-
cally significant difference in IPV victimization by ethnicity remained
after controlling for the income level of families with yearly incomes
above $10,000, such that African American women in families with an
income greater than $10,000 were twice as likely to be victims of IPV
as Caucasian women in families with comparable incomes.
In general, African American men and women report higher rates
of IPV victimization and perpetration than Caucasian men and
women. In addition, African American women are more likely to
experience severe IPV victimization than their Caucasian counter-
parts. However, when income is controlled for, differences by race in
rates of IPV are diminished or eliminated, suggesting that income may
be a stronger predictor of IPV than ethnicity. It is critical, however, to
understand that in the United States, race and income are inextricably
linked.
iseeisee and granny, et. al.:
This story claimed the headlines because it involves two participants who are usually among those untouched by murder.
As for black women murdered by black killers who happen to have been their husbands or boyfriends, well, how often can the same headline run before it gets stale? However, the stories always appear in the news. No murder goes unreported.
Violence is a standard tool for maintaining control in black families. There is such openness about this topic that it is discussed in positive terms on black talk-radio. It should surprise no one that a black male who was regularly smacked around by his mother or father applies the same tactic to dealing with a woman who has upset him.
As for George Huguely, unlike OJ, he's heading to prison for murdering his former girlfriend. No jury is about to act like OJ's black jury and permit George to walk out of court a free man who went home to a party. Blaming the victim will fail as will any silly claims he killed her in self defense.
Hey, how about Lawrence Taylor? The age of the prostitute notwithstanding, why is he hiring hookers in upstate NY?
How do you know O.J. did it? Were you on the jury? Did you say you were a lawyer?
granny writes:
I can't how many black women I knew that have been murdered. None of them made headlines or the news. Nope, we heard about it word of mouth.
Granny's comment is more evidence of the black alternate reality. At other times, granny and other black posters claim the media devotes extra energy to stories of black criminality while ignoring the bad behavior of whites.
But following the initial coverage of a white woman murdered by a white ex-boyfriend, granny claims the media ignores the murders of black women by black men.
Obviously granny lives in the world of Humpty Dumpty, who said to Alice, "A word means whatever I want it to mean. Nothing more and nothing less."
@no_slapz
"This story claimed the headlines because it involves two participants who are usually among those untouched by murder.
As for black women murdered by black killers who happen to have been their husbands or boyfriends, well, how often can the same headline run before it gets stale? However, the stories always appear in the news. No murder goes unreported."
wow, you are really quite the changeling. so, not only are you an expert on adoptions, foreign adoptions, the healthcare system, etc., now you claim to be an expert on journalism, what gets news play, and on black culture?
you are wrong--every murder is NOT reported, and every murder is NOT reported on the same way, as in getting on GMA. the coverage is based on the attractiveness of the victims (and the preps) and the gruesomeness of the crime, more than anything else.
you tell me that the black serial killer who was killing women for YEARS and leaving their bodies to rot inside his house got the same play with each individual murder, or that the disappearance of those women EVER got the press of a pretty white girl in trouble. no fucking way.
you're excusing and defending black male abuse of women, and saying oh, well, why be surprised?" and sorry if you think it's a "stale" headline when someone of color is murdered.
more press attention to the problem would help find solutions and force the justice system and society in general to confront this issue.
too bad mrs. obama didn't take this on. i guess that would have been seen as too controversial, compared to obesity.
granny isn't the only one who said it -- or the first.
i was. i'm white, so i guess i live in that same "alternate reality."
[quote]yes, this is tragic and but i think it's disgusting the way it is on good morning america and all over the media, when every day women of color are murdered by men they knew--and never get this much publicy. pretty white girl, pretty white boy.[/quote]
Ain't this a B!!!!
Maria and Granny - I have been noting how the BLACK PRESS and BLOGS have NOT been talking about the Black woman in Atlanta WHO GOT HER HEAD CUT OFF and now you want to make an indictment about the Mainstream Press not publishing the murders of Black women?
PLEASE!!!!!
If an adversarial press entity DOESN'T focus enough - you all will accuse them of seeing the Black as not worthy of their time.
If this same entity focuses TOO MUCH, making note of the KILLER - if he is Black - then you all complain that they are PROFILING, attempting to make the impression that all Blacks are killers.
This is why the situation that profits your consciousness the best is when a White man murders a Black person. Then you can retain your INDIGNATION, marching with the chant "Stop Killing Black People!!!".
Sadly the "Racist Street Pirate" never seems to get the message because he will kill 20 Blacks for every 1 killed by Whites or the cops.
Filled Negro:
You claim that a satirical collage of pictures that has Fred Sanford and Aunt Ester as the "After" photo of Michelle and Barack Obama is RACIST.
Please prove your point.
I think that we both agree that after these 4 years are up you, the "little boy who cried wolf" will become largely ignored because most rationale people will being to see how this chant has become a mere political defense mechanism.
I wonder if you would define what "RACISM" is Filled Negro?
Do you find the famous Emerge cover of Clarence Thomas as "racist"? Or is RACISM only what you see?
Msm's saturation of the news with the glamorous murder of a (what-else-is-new) white female coed by a (yawn)white male college athlete is/should be expected. The tsunami of black-on-black violence - with female and male victims - has become, well, trite and banal; and worse, acceptable. What else should we expect from a people who worship at the altar of self-pity, blame-ism; who rarely take responsibility for criminal, or anti-social behaviors? I mean, right now - (surprise it hasn't shown up here, FN)- a bunch of our cousins have a bushel of rabbit-ass excuses for Lawrence Taylor's behaviors. In our (African-American) communities the pimp and his counterpart, the preacher; both are folk heroes!! for crying out loud. N...r please, gimme a break.
For my sisters out there (and I know you have heard this before): THE FIRST TIME!!! A MAN ABUSES YOU VERBALLY, PHYSICALLY, or EMOTIONALLY should be the last time! You should get as far away and as fast as possible. It never gets better; he ain't never gonna "change". Countless women are in their graves; permanently scarred; terrorized by the (black) knuckle-dragging, man-child predators who populate our communities.
And, FN: We should expect better from you, of all people; you should know better. This particular blog/post seems to trivialize and excuse abhorrent repulsive behaviors. Shame on you.
GFlash
field negro said...
Sup Francis? Yes, for all of you who dont know; Francis lives in Brazil, and Francis speaks from the heart. We may not agree, but it's honest.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Yeah, whatever Field. .
If all I had going for me were my looks and body and desperately wanted US citizenship, I'd guess be an international ho' too, to the scores of Black men looking for an easy lay in South America.
Franics ain't speaking from his heart, he's speaking from his d*&k (being differentiated from a penis here) and that's fine too, just man up an admit it is what I say.
Nothing more than modern day prostitution with a an "I'll marry you" twist.
This story is common among privileged young white men, their families just cover things up for them. The problem in this case was that it's hard to cover up a dead body.
Men like this boy have been terrorizing women of all races for centuries!!!
meandmymicroscope, you wrote:
Men like this boy have been terrorizing women of all races for centuries!!!
And in muslim nations TODAY, muslim husbands still retain the right to murder a non-compliant wife or daughter for pretty much any reason that crosses their minds.
You wrote:
This story is common among privileged young white men, their families just cover things up for them.
Really? Even though privileged young white men generally date privileged young white women whose families are unlikely to shrug their shoulders and toss up their daughters' deaths to the foolishness of the girls themselves. Yeah sure.
Of course your position on this issue has a subtext. that subtext is your view that families of black female murder victims simply say "oh well" and walk away.
maria,
Yes, it appears you do reside in the black alternate reality.
You wrote:
wow, you are really quite the changeling.
No. Not a chageling. The adoption of yours truly was handled legally by Spence Chapin, a well known adoption agency.
You wrote:
you are wrong--every murder is NOT reported, and every murder is NOT reported on the same way, as in getting on GMA.
Sorry. Every murder is reported, and these days, with the increase in small neighborhood advertiser-supported newspapers, they are often reported in more than one print venue.
You wrote:
the coverage is based on the attractiveness of the victims (and the preps) and the gruesomeness of the crime, more than anything else.
Here in Brooklyn, the coverage is based on the fact that the crime happened. Victims, no matter how fat and ugly they might have been at the time of death, are often shown in their high school yearbook photos, frequently because those pictures were taken not long before they were murdered.
You wrote:
you tell me that the black serial killer who was killing women for YEARS and leaving their bodies to rot inside his house got the same play with each individual murder, or that the disappearance of those women EVER got the press of a pretty white girl in trouble. no fucking way.
As is too often the case, there is no adult who is the parent/guardian of black girls who disappear. Thus, no one to report them missing. However, in those cases where the blacks girls have a responsible parent, the missing persons report are promptly filed, the local media publishes an alert, but too often the outcome involves a corpse and an angry boyfriend.
You wrote:
you're excusing and defending black male abuse of women, and saying oh, well, why be surprised?" and sorry if you think it's a "stale" headline when someone of color is murdered.
Nonsense. If newspapers highlighted black male abuse of black women, they would have Al Sharpton and the other race-baiters screaming about white media painting a racist picture of blacks.
Meanwhile, the black media -- what little there is -- avoids the topic.
You wrote:
more press attention to the problem would help find solutions and force the justice system and society in general to confront this issue.
Really? How does that work? If the media focuses on black male abuse of black women, then efforts to put more black males in jail surfaces as the chief deterrent to murder. It's simple. If black males are in jail during their prime murder years, then they will have no chance to kill black women.
Is that the solution you want?
You wrote:
too bad mrs. obama didn't take this on. i guess that would have been seen as too controversial, compared to obesity
There is ZERO chance Michelle will tackle a problem that is already defined in racial terms and thereby remove all doubt about who women must worry about.
Michelle fighting black domestic violence is about as likely as Michelle fighting on behalf of muslims accused of terrorism.
"And, FN: We should expect better from you, of all people; you should know better. This particular blog/post seems to trivialize and excuse abhorrent repulsive behaviors. Shame on you.
GFlash"
Earth to GFlash earth to GFlash. Did you even read the post? Try it again and get back to me.
"Sadly the "Racist Street Pirate" never seems to get the message because he will kill 20 Blacks for every 1 killed by Whites or the cops."
What's that Paul Simon song? Oh yeah, "One Trick Pony". *yawn*
"I wonder if you would define what "RACISM" is Filled Negro?
Do you find the famous Emerge cover of Clarence Thomas as "racist"? Or is RACISM only what you see?"
No to the first part of your question. And yes, it's what I see.
"How do you know O.J. did it? Were you on the jury? Did you say you were a lawyer?"
I know he did it because I am a lawyer. I also know that he was found not guilty by a jury so he was free to walk. That lady with the blind-fold on doesn't always get it right.
Francis Holland:
As I waited in the airport in Cuba last month a Bajan national gave us the scoop about "wealthy" Americans going to relatively impoverished nations and "falling in love" with a fine sista there. (You have settled in Brazil so your situation is different. Most others head home to the USA, hoping to bring their new love back with them over time.)
Since the woman in question has the goal of getting to the USA and sees the apparent wealth and freedom that the American has there is already an imbalance in the relationship as each has their own agenda.
Thus guy married and then divorced a Cuban girl. After she got what she wanted - "out of Cuba" the relationship disintegrated.
The solution, he said, was to take it for what it is worth. Go there and handle your business but realize that you live in two different and incompatible worlds.
(PS: NO I DID NOT touch the abundant prostitutes in Cuba. If Fidel's goal was to purge this scourge that the "Americans" had brought into the island - he failed miserably. Damn I had better learn Spanish for the next time so I can understand what they are saying. :-) )
Hello all,
Field didn't want to talk about racism (in this post) and neither do I. I mean, for the most part, this has nothing to do with any particular race. This has to do with "men", and how they handle their emotions.
I've always said, if you really want to get to the core of an individual, it's important to know how they handle stress. For me, that's more important than how a woman looks, cooks, or ahhh... wiggles that thang. Really, I don't care to be around a person that can not express how they feel, and instead, they mope around or vent through some type of childish behavior.
And lets be real, in most cases, if you show me a 10 year old jerk, I'll show you a grown as*hole.
Really, think about it. As children, we cry when we don't get our way. As teenagers, we bully other kids, or form small clicks to rule others. As we grow older, humans tend to "hide" their inner most evil ways. Some go into politics, and then let others carry their "message" :-). Then, there are others that simply get a wife/husband and family, and rule that roost. That person or persons may never have changed, they simply change where they do their dirt.
Since this is a man's world, (and it's okay for women to cry) some men vent by striking out. Men vent through more violent ways, although woman can go there. It's just more acceptable for a man to show his anger.
So, in short, a man that wacks a woman, is nothing more than a child in a grown man's suit.
My father told me at an early age... only punks hit on women.
I don't care if it's lost love (rejection), fear, depression, or any of the over 50 emotions, most individuals can not identify the emotions they are feeling/experiencing, and the reason behind those feeling, and therefore, they are in the dark about what to do with them. Some cry, some vent, some blame, some talk it out, some go in a shell, and yes... others use violence.
@MeandMyMicroscope
You were saying the exact same thing I was thinking!
LOL
L
@CareyCarey
Your comment was very profound and in depth analysis of human beings. Yeah, I liked that!
Reminds of the story of the battle of Jericho in the bible. All that story represented was the fact that human being have two different sides within them--good and evil that a wall separates. We're supposed to be here on earth trying to tear that wall down, because darkness cannot abide with light. The minute we accomplish tearing that wall down we will have overcome the evil within in us.
BTW, your comment sorta threw an anchor out my way and held me back from unleashing this devil in me on that bigot no_slappz. If he had a lick of sense he would not even type my name or address any comments my way because I have already expressed in simple English what I think about him. He has a tendency of provoking me with his insults towards blacks and other minorities, and I despise bigots because that is what is wrong with the world today. People would be more willing to embrace one another and learn to accept each other as their fellow human beings if it wasn't for bigots like him poisioning the world with their venom. As a matter of fact, people like him are the reason why we are not living in a post-racial America and the world is slowly dying of a disease.
I agree with those of you who say this problem is not relegated to one race or another. It is abhorrent to the mothers and fathers of the girls/women who are victims, no matter what their race, religion or national origin. (Well, maybe not as much to those deeple steeped in those cultures where the men are allowed to kill their wives/daughters for pretty much any reason.)
Field- you wondered if there are warning signs. I watched an interview once with three mothers whose daughters had either been murdered or severely beaten by their ex-boyfriends. There were distinct patterns of behavior in all three cases. So, I would imagine that any one of us with the time could Google around and find several studies showing a pattern of red flags in these relationships. The apparent ones from those interviews:
1. very controlling (one girl reported her bf left 67 voice mails demanding to know where she was during a one hour music lesson.)
2. boy's parents in denial when girl's parents spoke to them about concerns
3. boy very, very into girl almost instantly --smothering her
There were more, but I cannot remember. I've been over these with my daughter and have talked with her friends about these red flags. This horrible story and all of the others (those ones you wrote about, Granny) are a reminder that we should all be reading the awareness sites and talking with our young people. And, for goddess' sake, please talk to your boys about how to handle disappointment!
Oh...and Granny-- no-slappz (who ought to be named no_brainz) is simply baiting you. Keep writing truth. Take a deep breath and say the following mantra: "I will ignore bigoted trolls. They have tiny penises."
What is it with this rich white kids who think they are entitled to treat anybody like shit?
Did you know that Huguely went to the same private school as some of the Duke lacrosse players accused of rape five years ago?
I never believe a rape went down. However, I say something went down. Perhaps Mangum danced and these rich white dudes thought they could treat her like shit, or not pay for her dancing services.
Nevertheless, this time around, the rich white kid won't be able to use his parents' clout to get away.
My mother taught my brothers never to hit a woman. She told them when they get too upset, walk away and go somewhere and cool off. She told them you wouldn't want any man hitting your sister, mother, aunt, or girl cousins, well...other women have brothers, fathers, uncle, and boy cousins that feel the same way about theirs. I'm glad that my brothers took to heart what my mother said.
Anonymous 2;49:
LOL!
Anonymous 2:46:
I agree with you and well said.
hey, no_slapz...your racism aside (and i thought you were a woman, so i don't know what the equiv is of a small penis, but you've got whatever that is)...
I SAID::
more press attention to the problem would help find solutions and force the justice system and society in general to confront this issue.
AND YOU SAID:
Really? How does that work? If the media focuses on black male abuse of black women, then efforts to put more black males in jail surfaces as the chief deterrent to murder. It's simple. If black males are in jail during their prime murder years, then they will have no chance to kill black women.
Is that the solution you want?"
here's a tip: try to debate on point and not just go NU UH when you disagree with something.
did i ever say that was the solution? not even close. i was talking about prevention and giving women the resources to leave abuse relationships. clearly YOUR solution is to put black men in jail "during the prime murder years" but i said nothing of the sort. you did--and again, show your true colors.
cuz, you know, all black men are murderers, or potential murderers.
and all murders don't make into the press--you can't say they all do. and be careful not to walk through the "black areas" of your neighborhood, as you once described them, because i'm sure your murder would be reported. but perhaps not mourned based on how you act here.
Field, my Brother: i wanted to leave a comment, but halfway thru this thread i realized that there isn't really much "conversation" taking place here.
you are a fascinating blogger. i say that as a veteran black blogger. you are fun to read, and you always make me want to comment. i like the intelligent people here, a lot. but they are so often drowned out, 10 comments to 2, by the crazies and racists.
please, i beg you. consider a moderation system. we do it at corrente. yes, it's work. but you're already devoting it to blogging, what's a few minutes more a day processing registration requests? here's the thing: when we went to registration we lost almost all our trolls. like, 99.9% of them. sure, there were fewer comments, but none of them contained ads or filth or nasty-isms.
it's your blog; do what you will. this is just a request from someone who respects you and has a lot of blogging experiences as a consumer, writer and critic.
and btw: i don't blame you. as a popular, relevant af am male blogger, this is what The System is going to throw at you. you likely know, but "important" people won't comment or even read your blog, if they think it's too "guttural." your trolls almost define that, and they aren't worth your, nor your better readers', attention.
Maria:
I doubt if no_slappz murder would even be reported, he has a tendency of not only insulting minorities but people who professionals and expertise in their fields too.
@ Granny, well maybe I should say thank you, on 2 fronts. Well, since I've been doing this Internet thing for about 10 years, I've witnessed all types of "individuals" and behaviors. Even in my personal life, I've been around the "spectrum". That being said, I've fallen in a few rabbit holes.
Oh, as I was getting ready to send this, I noticed Chicago dyke's comment. To a large degree, I agree with her comments. An "open" forum is a slippery slope. Yet, to moderate a forum (kicking those out that the blogger does not like) could reek of "my way, or the highway". Granted, it's the bloggers domain, however, if we/I surround ourselves with totally like thinking individuals, well, we could have CLOWNS on the left of us, and JOKERS on the right, and thus, be stuck in the middle with our OWN POINT OF VIEW.
Bloggers, have blogs for various reasons. Some pimp their readers by placating them while they sell products or send a message that's central to their endeavors. Other bloggers are into increasing their writing and communication skills. Some are looking for "hit" counts. Yet others, like the stroking of their egos. So, it's safe to say that every blogger has a mission, even though they may not be able to identify it, or define it. To each his/own. Moderation can be a good thing, and a bad thing.
Anyway, back to this post.
So, having learned from those experiences, I now try to weed through the mess.
Take for instance the gentlemen that you [granny) are having a dispute with. I know nothing about your differences, but if he has an agenda that's different from yours, only YOU can control how you react.
You also mentioned the Bible. I can do the Bible very well. However, most individuals that say "they believe" have never read the entire bible, so I usually do not discuss the bible or scriptures.
But I'll tell you what. This post, and the comments, and your reply, has inspired a post in me. So thank you.
It will probably be a little "meaty". It will not be the hot button type that ushers in hecklers and pats on the back.
Stop by, I'll probably use you in the post. Well, I'll use you, Field and Chi town Dyke, in the set-up, as long as Field doesn't mind me copying a few of your words.
AND! (moving on the subject of moderation) Moderation tends to slow down instant interaction. Which tends to allow people to sit back and ponder some whimsical (spellchecked,wordperfect) purple prose. You know, in other words, a bunch of contrieved BS. AND, depending on the number of comments, it can be very time consuming! NOT, a few extra minutes.
one last point: it is possible to have moderated commenting *and* total free speech. technology is cool like that. look up a system called http://bensonmum.com/ or other systems like it. what they do is allow registered people to make commenters they don't like "invisible." we used to call it "killfile" when haloscan was more common than Echo. anyway, i grok that you may want to allow racist, childish or personally insulting comments to prove a point about what a black blogger has to put up with on the internet. but you can still treat your regular readers to a more sophisticated, conversational environment in which they only speak with and see each other's comments. thanks again for listening.
Yet again chicago, (don't know if you read my above comment) you are speaking from your point of reference, and/or what you need in your "more sophisticated, conversational environment"
Also, you used the words "regular readers", well, who are they? Really, you have to make a distinction between readers and commenters.
Some individuals simply read a blog, and NEVER comment! In fact, they are in the majority. In fact they are in the overwhelming majority.
So again, killfile, haloflow,invisible man, ghost most, or whatever, a bloggers choice of weapons depends on what "they", the blogger is trying to achieve through the experience. And that can never be defined by another blogger.
Heck, as witnessed by reading Field's blog, some that heckle, or at times act in a childish way (who doesn't), frequently come back with words of wisdom. If we all acted in the same way (all the time) we'd be a boring race, and possibly nothing more than robots, mimmicking the actions of "the good people"
FN said: "Anyway ladies...it's a crap shoot...my best advice(sic)is to let him down easy...," (And yes, I read your blog/post)- My question is: When are black MEN going to speak up and hold other men accountable for sexist behaviors; why is it (as you suggest) always up to women to "...watch your back"? We, black men, letting other black men off the hook; when we dig into our collective trick bag of nauseating excuses for their repulsive sexist behaviors, we shirk our responsibilities to make a difference for our people. As a result our silence condones and perpetuates these sexist behaviors. Indeed, what DO we teach our young females; better yet - who is teaching our young males?
GFlash
CareyCarey:
Thanks for the invitation, I'll make it a point to stop by. You do the same, stop by and visit my blog some time too.
CareyCarey:
I understand what you saying, no one is perfect,and that's the truth there because all humans have flaws.
On the other hand, I understand what Chicago Dyke is saying too. People get fed up sitting in the midst of and dealing with negative mess day in and day out because it is draining and takes a lot of people. Nothing gets done, its a distraction, and causes people to lose focus.
Freedom of thoughts is fine and yes everyone is entitled to their opinion, and those who disagree are entitled to disagree and call folks on their mess too.
As for no_slappz, I view him like I do a snake. His type of poison was instrumental in the crimes against humanity. That's how Jim Crow came to be, slavery, the annihilation of the Indians, holocaust, etc. When you see a snake, you chop his head off, because if you don't it will bite you.
*out of people*
"Domestic Violence does not only happen to adults.
Forty percent of girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner".
Dianne Feinstein
"Domestic Violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars.
It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return.
It is estimated that approximately 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year in the United States".
Dianne Feinstein
"A Child's geographic location, race or Parent's income level should not predetermine their life's course and it's up to us to see that they don't".
Joe Manchin
maria,
The murder rate among blacks is SEVEN TIMES the white rate. Morover, the spousal/girlfriend abuse rate is far higher among blacks than whites.
When I mention the facts, how do you respond? With an ad hominem attack on me. Yeah, well, that will do something to reduce the crime rate. Yeah, obviously.
George Huguely is going away forever. Has anyone come forward to claim he didn't do it? His mother? Anyone?
Even though Lawrence Taylor has already admitted he paid a 16-year-old for sex, his wife is claiming he was set-up.
Meanwhile, as the days pass here in New York City, murders continue to occur at a pace about 20% above last year's rate. Like last year, almost 100% of the victims are black or hispanic, as are the killers.
As for granny, she's lost in that black alternate universe that says when crimes committed by blacks are in the news the news is aimed at smearing blacks, but when murders black women killed by black men are not in the news the stories are missing because the media does not report black-oriented crime.
It appears granny refuses to acknowledge the huge gap in the rate of violent crime that exists between blacks and whites. Her solution is to kill the messenger. In this case, me. In the usual angry black fashion, she says she wants to see me dead. Atta girl, granny. You really know how to make a point.
GFlash-
i see and appreciate you. the so-called black community is gasping its last dying breaths, while folks attempt to heap MORE responsibility on the girls and women. all while making NON-STOP excuses for the irresponsible, out of control, violent, counter-productive, waste of space males that run rampant. notice these same folks' ability to see and speak plainly return when it is a black female in need of addressing.
thank you for behaving like a man. MEN regulate the behavior of other men/males, not women.
CF, i appreciate your comments as well.
Maria, your comment about dv against bw is a fact. just because folks refuse to acknowledge the facts, does not change them. you presenting the statistics, was an indication of your generosity and good will. i firmly believe that much of the ignorance is willful. folks just don't want to know...because if you know better, wouldn't you have a responsibility to DO BETTER?
to the Brazil dweller, i don't understand how you managed to take this post and make it an opportunity to diss bw. but then for quite a large segment of the so-called black community, it is always a good time to disrespect bw. it is indicative of that segments' lack of self respect.
i commend you however, on your decision to go where less is treated like more. US bw already have US citizenry. lol! may more of the like-minded US bm join you. stat.
No Slapz-
the day has finally come when you have said something that makes sense to me.
here's the thing...
there is an unspoken, well obeyed rule among bfolks and those that seek to avoid being labelled "racist" by black folks. because you know full well quite a few bmales will see racism before they see the need to be responsible and accountable...for anything.
rule:
at no time must folks tell the plain simple truth about WHO is murdering, raping, maiming, molesting, abandoning,reaking havoc etc. in the so-called black community.
if the truth is ever mentioned, it must be approached, delicately, so as to not offend or make folks "shut down". it seems quite a few bmales in the so-called bcommunity are to treated like the gentler, weaker sex, and receive the treatment usually reserved for the WOMEN AND CHILDREN of other communities. smh...
the reality is that the new school version of the bm is a deadly threat to himself (don't argue, look and see WHO kills more bm than anyone else!) and all foolish or unfortunate enough to remain in close proximity to him. add some "no-snitching", "don't send another bmale to jail", and all the other game run to protect the new school bmale and you will have a self annihilation project in full bloom.
more bw must free themselves of the conditioning that makes it possible for them to tell themselves deadly lies. he is only your "brother" when he is born of your mother. even then, he may still present a threat to your emotional, physical, financial well being. more must be prepared to act according to their best interest at all times. those that refuse will perish.
until bfolks get real, acquainted and friends with the truth, there will be no change. the self annihilation project will continue.
black men are designed naturally to be the protectors. for decades now, many have acted contrary to nature, and seek to be protected...by women. there is no shortage of black females that continue to rage against all the truth and evidence in the world. Taylor and his idiot most likely diseased wife, is just the latest example. many of these males don't mind using children shields for their protection either.
the name of the game is survival of the fittest. many, in the so-called black community, by their behavior, demonstrate they are not fit for survival. they would sooner die in denial. life is about choices. it troubles me not at this point. thank God for divestment!
anon 7:42,
Black folk don't have to speak about murder or other ills in the community, because there many, many people like you and no_slappz that do it. They speak ad nauseum on many, many other web sites, blogs and news aggregators. Even if we were to discuss it, we couldn't get a word in edgewise because of the preponderance of statistics and links that would flood the comments from the likes of you.
Haven't you noticed that y'alls talk doesn't morph into a solution either. Talk is Cheap.
no_slappz:
Exactly what is a "black" alternate universe? Is there such a place because I could have swore that all humans live on one universe the planet earth. Or is it just your wishful thinking that you wish that this was a "white only" universe or that we had separate universes?
Of course, you would twist mine and everyone else words around and say what wasn't said letting me know that you have a serious comprehension problem. Do you always make stuff up and exaggerate or are you just an habitual liar? I think the latter myself and I'm not alone in that assessment.
Oh, so now you are the great white messenger that has come to save us po ole black folks with your bias form of enlightenment. Thanks but no thanks, I don't do Fox We Make It Up News or Rush's talking points.
BTW, don't think that you are scoring brownie points with blacks with your insults.
Let me explain something to you and hopefully I can break this down enough for you to understand clearly, seeing how you are bipolar with a tinge of dyslexia.
First, I did not say crimes committed by blacks are in the news is aimed at smearing blacks. Are you hearing little voices in your head or something, because you are making that up--nah, you straight out lying!
Let me give you an example of what we're talking about and by golly, I hope you get it.
Black kids and women come up missing and the news doesn't broadcast and bombard us with it like they do blond hair, blue-eyed kids and women. Nor do they make it national daily news for a four or five years like Natalie the white chick murdered in Aruba. The point is that it is hardly if at all mentioned when it involves a black skin or brown skin or yellow skin or red skin person.
All of those groups of people are irresponsible according to you. For some reason they don't love their kinfolks like white people do. Puleeze! In your small minded way of thinking only whites folks have it all together. Does that list of "whites that have it all together" include those white folks that were eating people-Dahmer, bombing thousands of innocent people, shooting a bunch of innocent kids at universities, oh yeah, Scott Peterson who killed his pregnant wife and threw out in the bay for fish bait and the crack-head cop?
Second, I did not say this either, "she says she wants to see me dead." Nope! In fact, it's that "racist attitude" of yours that I'm referring to! You know the one, that has you delusionally thinking that you are "superior".
Am I angry, Nope, not at all! I haven't pulled off my ear rings and craned my neck yet.
"yes, this is tragic and but i think it's disgusting the way it is on good morning america and all over the media, when every day women of color are murdered by men they knew--and never get this much publicy. pretty white girl, pretty white boy."
Every day WOMEN PERIOD are brutalized and or murdered by men that they know.
It becomes a major news story when it involves the rich Barbie and Ken types like the Univ of Virginia case.
When I was in the military I worked in personnel affairs for a couple of years and I can't tell you how many times we had to either go to housing units to pull some white boy off his wife or go to the county jail to secure them after they were arrested for domestic violence.
Of course they were cases with black and hispanic couples as well but the point is why do some people insist on assigning some special evil or dysfunction to black folks?
BTW, Taylor is major news because he is black man accused of rape, but I see the news about the white football player who was accused of raping MORE than one woman barely made the news. BTW, did he lose any of his endorsements? Funny how if blacks commit a crime, the news it stays major news until the trial is over.
Now watch, no_slappz twist what I said around. He can't never get anyone's comments straight. smh!
Let me make myself perfectly clear what point I am trying to make.
Why can't the news give the same amount of coverage they give whites, and give fair reports in crimes that involve blacks?
And what I mean by major news is the 24/7 coverage, but where itis a white that is involved in a crime, it is a brief flash across the screen.
chicago duke, thanks for the input. I will consider, but see what Careycarey said.
And CareyCarey, you can quote me or use anything I write anytime you wish.
OK GFlash, I feel your spirit. But again, I think your righteous indignation is focused in the wrong place.
Hathor-
EVERYONE can see the savage, immoral, shameful, oftentimes criminal behavior that quite a few bfolks knock themselves out trying to normalize.
i don't believe that the survival of bw is tied to bm figuring things out. which is why i wrote clearly:
"more bw must free themselves of the conditioning that makes it possible for them to tell themselves deadly lies."
that is the first step by way of a solution. free your mind and the rest will follow...
i also clearly wrote as it relates to bw that
"more must be prepared to act according to their best interest at all times. those that refuse will perish."
more solution. folks interests and best interests vary. those that are waiting for others to draft them a blueprint, demonstrate a childish slave mentality. will makes a way.
i am a woman. i refuse to act contrary to my nature and attempt to save, protect, and/or regulate the behavior of men. alot of the madness folks see happening among bfolks is the DIRECT result of womenfolk being left alone to handle MENfolks' business! and bw refusing to get real with themselves about the situation/circumstances they are facing and making better CHOICES.
quite a few bw lying and swearing they don't need men to socialize their manchildren into men has not made that lie the truth. quite a few bw lying and swearing that raising a child/children with the stability and provision found in marriage is just the same as the mess and stress of babymamadom has not made that lie the truth. SOLUTION ALERT since you can't read and catch a clue Hathor: bw, in far greater numbers, need to opt out of the hell on earth the "community" has become.
it is deliberate that i call it the so-called bcommunity. the pretense of community is maintained to keep misguided bw there laboring in the hopes that things are going to change when the providers/protectors haven't even bothered to show up much less get down to business in greater numbers than not.
bm's solutions to the annihilation project quite a few bm have so voraciously embraced is menfolk business. bmenfolk need to get down to business. there have been many signs that time is of the essence.
IF quite a few bfolks continue to ACT like dodo birds...only FOOLS will feign surprise when quite a few bfolks join the dodo bird in extinction.
Hathor, you know, there is a pattern with you. folks can be on this thread dissing bw all day long and you are consistently quiet as a church mouse. the disses can and often times will be blatant lies.
but now, let someone come on here and tell the truth about the sacred bm and you hurry up and get ready for battle. the bm protector bfemales make me tired. yawn. if they spent a fraction of the energy they exert on behalf of bm, WITHOUT EVEN A PRETENSE OF RECIPROCITY, and devoted that to interests that would uplift bw and bg, it would be a new day. lol! i am not holding my breath though. again, thank God for divestment. and some of ya'll need to hold your posts in the "community" and keep working futilely and feverishly on behalf of bm. it will be YOU that they take out by way of thanks for your efforts. you are actually rendering a valuable service to the bw that see the truth, are determined to tell it so others can throw off the counter-productive conditioning and continue moving towards self actualization and freedom.
Anon. 10:04 pm, I disagree with your characterizaion of Hathor, but you make some good points. (some)
Field-
with all due respect:
i disagree with your soft, make sure you don't hurt bm's wee little feelings approach and pattern when discussing matters of life and death among bfolks.
the grrr you have for chasing racism would constitute better use of energy to direct at the bfolks that make life harder for bfolks; so strong is their tendency to BE the racist stereotypes of bfolks. GFlash was spot on earlier in his check of you. out of curiosity WHERE do you think his "righteous indignation" should be directed if not to suggest that GOOD bm need to stand up and be counted? hmmm?
you and i agree to disagree as it relates Hathor the protector of the sacred bm. you are a bm that demonstrates the ability to come hard with racism and on bw when the folks are black. i am not a bm and can see the part BOTH genders are playing in the continued destruction of american blacks. so it makes perfect sense, if you think about it, that you would think as you do. nevertheless, my check of Hathor was spot on. the fact that you disagree with SOME points changes this not.
anon10:04
Tell me how does self actualization work for someone else and your pontificating here provide any psychological help to the mass of the so called dysfunction that only black women can have, by speaking on a blog.
I
FN,
I now sense that I have encountered this person before, who has some other issue with me.
Hathor protector of sacred bm-
until you practice applying common sense and work on your reading comprehension, it would be an exercise in futility to attempt to explain or clarify anything for you.
i am NOT a fan of exercises in futility. now run along. i am sure there is a bm somewhere, doing something stupid and shameful that you can protect, from rightful scorn.
i don't believe we have met before. work on your "senses" too. i have noticed your voice is not heard when bw are dissed on this thread. yet you are Hathor Warrior BM Protector when folks point out the destructive role bm play in the "community" when they bother to show up in more cases than not.
anon10:44
I have spoke up when I read sanctimonious BS and what I call Black bashing and you cannot point to any argument of mine, defending either Black women or men.
The sense comes from the style of your attack.
fn:
ps:
re: obamacare
i told u so!
http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/link/6a0123ddb39306860b0123de2b395f860c.html
may god bless us all
ditto!
ask any teacher
the misogyny and violence are moire rabid in younger people daily
tragic!
http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/link/6a0123ddb39306860b0123de1079f5860c.html
http://aliciabanks.vox.com/library/post/remember-deletha-word---public-execution-by-misogyny.html
___
happy mother's day to all
"out of curiosity WHERE do you think his "righteous indignation" should be directed if not to suggest that GOOD bm need to stand up and be counted? hmmm?"
I think you told Hathor something about reading comprehension. You and GFlash might need to hook up and join her. GFlash's take on my post was so far out in left field that he/she might as well be in a different ball park. It looks like you both are playing on the same team in that park all by yourselves.
"i disagree with your soft, make sure you don't hurt bm's wee little feelings approach and pattern when discussing matters of life and death among bfolks."
I am a black man, and there is nothing "wee" or "little" about my feelings. And that includes my feelings about racism, "bw", or myself. Not sure where your head is there partner, but it sounds like you might have some issues with "bm" in general.
But hey,to each his/her own.
Go on and express yourself, this is A-merry-ca. I hope life works out for you.
FocusedPurpose is that you @ 10:44PM and 10:25PM?
Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!
granny,
The black alternate universe is the void in which you live.
hathor,
If you want to skip over murder and violence to focus on other issues in the black community, then the first stop is education.
Here in NY City, the achievement gap between asians (at the top), whites (in second place), hispanics and blacks (together in last place), we can.
The NY City Public School system has its problems, but the chief reason some students learn and others do not has almost no connection to the schools.
There is decades of data, decades of results on standardized tests that shows a racial gap exists. Everywhere in the country it exists. Actually, it exists everywhere in the world.
Nevertheless, among blacks there is a determined effort to accuse whites and asians of some malfeasance for being better students.
The "bias" claim is always in the air. But how "bias" can affect a demonstration of learning in algebra or geometry is, to me, a mystery.
Slapz wrote: "The NY City Public School system has its problems, but the chief reason some students learn and others do not has almost no connection to the schools."
That statement, for the most part, is woefully incorrect. How can one say a school has problems, yet, turn around and say... "the chief reason some students learn and others do not has almost no connection to the schools".
Come on... no connection!
Also [Slapz]: "The "bias" claim is always in the air. But how "bias" can affect a demonstration of learning in algebra or geometry is, to me, a mystery"
Maybe it's a mystery because they (slapz) is so entrenched in their opinion, that they are not looking for resolutions. If I am sitting in an environment that's not conducive to learning, chances are (a big chance) that I may fall behind those who's learning experience in not impeded by unwanted distractions. So, "almost no connection".... NOT!
Furthermore, if a school, or school system has "problems", they are least likely to attract quality teachers. It sounds like I hear the thunder of a rolling stone.
steve said:
Every day WOMEN PERIOD are brutalized and or murdered by men that they know.
It becomes a major news story when it involves the rich Barbie and Ken types like the Univ of Virginia case.
barbie & ken=white.
you must know that part of this unfair and unbalanced press treatment of stories stems from the fact that most journalists are themselves WHITE. NABJ has been losing members, and people of color have been more hurt by the economy in terms of job losses that other reporters.
you should check out an astute reporter of all of this, richard prince. he is one of the few (if not the only) who tracks black journalism and race in the media.
http://www.facebook.com/richardprince
careycarey,
Academic performance: For kids in public school, it is primarily a function of their home life.
Face facts. Too many black and hispanic kids live in settings where no parent or guardian really cares about learning and/or the parents/guardians place obstacles in the way of the kids.
Obviously, you have no experience with public schools. If you did you would know that decades of test results repeat the same sad facts -- with respect to achievement and yearly progress, black and hispanic kids lag white and asian kids.
The results of standardized tests are available for every school in NY City -- where I live. The results are displayed in many ways, including comparisons by race.
You can see the performance of each group at each school and you can see results for the entire school system.
Some schools are competitive. That means even though they are public schools, kids must pass an entrance exam -- which is open to all. Guess what? At the start of 6th grade -- the grade in which middle school begins in NY City (6th, 7th, 8th) the great divide becomes apparent. The competitive middle schools are largely white and asian, which is especially compelling because the overall school system student body is 14% asian, 14% white, 35% black and 35% hispanic.
When kids reach high school, the best students compete for entrance into the top five high schools. Asians dominate, accounting for over 50% of the students at these schools. Whites fill almost all of the remaining seats. Blacks and hispanics -- combined -- fill less than 10%.
Many asian kids come from homes where parents do not speak English. But the parents know how to say "do your homework."
You wrote:
Furthermore, if a school, or school system has "problems", they are least likely to attract quality teachers.
You have no idea what you're jabbering about. There is no shortage of competent people seeking teaching jobs in NY City. But for many beginning teachers there is a limit on the number of times they're willing to listen to students tell them to go fornicate themselves.
As someone who has taught math in NY City, I can tell you that a meaningful number of black and hispanic students are so poorly civilized that a lot of big trouble lies ahead for them. Jail, in some cases.
MeandmyMicroscope @ 11:36 AM
just popped in to say: CHUCHH!!!
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