I have your "racist prick" right here!

"Subject: Crap

Bart, you published Sam D saying
It's disgusting.
Many people (and some on Obama's staff) have tried to accuse the Clintons of being racist, but this goes beyond anything I've ever seen. Why would a black person hate the Clintons so much? Why would anybody hate the Clintons so much?
It is titled "You know I have seen this picture a few times before, but I never noticed Hillary and Bill."

http://field-negro.blogspot.com Has any Clinton-supporting site ever put up anything so hateful? Sam D
Of course this represents the Obama campaign and no supporter of Clinton, not a single one, would ever do anything so disgusting. Wanna buy a bridge?
Why do you reprint this stuff?
Because this campaign has always been about playing dirty pool. The Clintons had to be turned into racist for Obama to have a chance.
People like to pretend it was Hillary who decided to divide us, but 6 months ago but she had a united Democratic party behind her - why would she stir things up?
You really must want Obama to lose now and in the general election while you pretend you never say anything nasty about Obama. Mike in Cheney
Mike, Sam and I chose to attack that racist prick in Philly. You're saying assholes who publish shit like this are above criticism?

Besides, why not take the challenge? Are there any "hate Obama" hate sites on the web?
I can show you many "I hate Hillary" sites. "

I never like to get into pissing matches with other blogs. Frankly, if I spent all my time responding to the bullshit and scurrilous attacks from the left and the right, and from black and white folks, I wouldn't have time to write shit. But every now and then I get the occasional bullshit that I feel pressed to respond to.

The above exchange took place on a site called "Bart Cop" (They linked me but I won't link them, I don't believe in giving free hits to mofos who piss me off). Now this asshole felt a need to call me a "racist prick" on his site. No harm no foul, I have been called a lot worse. But the reason this ass hole took offense to me and felt a need to go out of his way to call me out is what set me off.

I have a picture of the Ice Queen and blow job bill on my sidebar, and I know the shit is controversial, but hey, that's why I put it there. And frankly I was going to remove it until mofos starting e-mailing me about it and threatening me and shit. So me being me, decided to keep it there a little longer to piss off some of these same folks.

They say shit to me like; "how dare you put up a parody of a lynching?" Like I need these mofos to tell me about what a painful legacy this has left on these divided states, and what it has done to my people. Funny, all the other times I have posted comments and pictures about lynchings on this site, all I heard then were crickets coming from the direction of these assholes. You see lynching and what it represents, only bothers them when you somehow disparage their heroes, the Clintons, not when you call it out for what it really was and still is.

"A racist prick'? Yeah Okay, I am trying to find a pic of Hillary at a Klan rally to post as soon as someone can send one to me. I wonder what they will say then? I can't wait.

Another beat down.

Poor David didn't have a chance. There he was spray painting a congratulatory message to his newly married buddy and his bride, when two of Philly's finest rolled up on him and gave him a good Philly PD ass whipping. "The two officers began to pummel and kick and beat Mister___" District Attorney Lynn Abrham said. The cops broke his jaw "Rocky" style, handcuffed him, and threw him into the back of their cruiser, searched his pockets and demanded to know if he had any warrants. Fortunately for David he did not. When The officers learned that David was not wanted they turned him loose and told him to get lost. Now let me say this right now; I do not condone spraying graffiti on public or private property. In fact, I deplore that type of behavior, and when it is done appropriate punishment should be given. Key word being appropriate. If what is alleged here is true, this punishment did not fit the crime.



Now I didn't tell you David's last name for a reason. Because if I did tell you that his name is Vernitsky you would have known right away that he isn't black, and you would have wondered right away why I, being the field Negro, should care.



Well you would be wrong. Because I do care. Yes David is white, and one of the officers who allegedly beat his ass was black. And you know what, his black ass should have known better. You just don't go abusing the civil rights of of citizens without there being consequences. A co-worker of mine wanted to know where Rev. Inc. was, why weren't they coming down to Philly to speak out for the abuse that this poor white man suffered at the hands of Philly's finest? Well to be fair to Rev. Inc. this is not their fight. David has the DA of our fair city getting his back just fine thank you very much. If Rev. Inc. has to pick and choose their battles that's fine too. Lord knows there are enough brothers out here getting their asses kicked to keep them busy for a long time. But I can speak out against it. And beating down citizens black or white without just cause is wrong no matter what race the victim happens to be.



To make matters worse in this case, the police officers tried to cover up their despicable deeds. Proof positive that they knew that they did something wrong. Well, the two officers have been suspended with the intent to dismiss, and criminal charges are bring filed against them. Good for the DA, and good for the Commissioner.



"This is a disgrace.." says John McNesby the president of Lodge 5 of the Fraternal Order of Police. Ahhh no it's not John. If the officers did what is being alleged, that is the disgrace. And they are a disgrace to the uniform that they were wearing and to the citizens that they were supposed to be protecting.

One more "turncoat".

Add Scott McClellan to the list of Bushites who don't want to go down on the wrong side of history. Seems my man Scott has written what is being called a "scathing" memoir about his days in the frat boy's White House, and from all accounts it won't be nice. The soon to be bestseller will be published next week and I can't wait.



Of course you have to wonder, why now? Why didn't this little weasel speak out when all the shit was going down? Reminds me of my man Colin Powell. When it mattered, when he should have stood up for what is right and said no Mr. President we are charting the wrong course here, he didn't. Instead he waited until it was all said and done to have reservations.



Now here comes McClellan, as the saying goes, "a day late and a dollar short". Well, I take that back. he won't be a dollar short. In fact, I am quite sure that with this memoir old Scott will be raking in the dollars. Which, at the end of the day, in A-merry-ca, that's all it's about isn't it, the dollar.



So get ready for the smear any day now. You will be hearing what a traitor and lightweight McClellan is and was. The Bushites will be out in full force. The frat boy apologist like Rush limp- boy and the other whacked out right wing talking heads will be all over the guy, and they will be quick to tell us what a bad person he always was. They will tell us that he was never down with the cause to begin with, so we shouldn't listen to him or trust anything he says now.



The frat boy's approval rating is currently the lowest of any president in A-merry-can history. I think like 25% of the people here in A-merry-ca thinks he is doing a good job. Obviously Scott McClellan isn't one of them, and he was on the inside. You know what's really scary? I will tell you what: that 25% of A-merry-cans still actually believe in this guy.



May god bless A-merry-ca.

The wingnut's donut problem.

I swear you can't make this shit up. When I first heard this story I thought it was a joke so I was afraid to blog about it and take the risk of falling victim to a satirical spoof. But on further review, I have found it to be true. Yes, Michelle Malkin, that famous wingnut with the sharp tongue and frail physique, has taken issue with the latest ad. campaign from Donkin Donuts.

Seems Rachel Ray, to the shock and horror of all of our wingnut friends, decided to wear a "keffiyeh" in her promotional ad. for the rather large coffee chain. "Jihad Chic", "hate couture" she [Michelle] is calling it. What is the republic coming to when people can actually get away with wearing this stuff? What will they do next, wear Fidel style shirts or smoke Cuban cigars? Folks if we are not careful, before we know it, this country that we love so much will fall to the influences of those evil folks on the left. People who want to bring us down and tear down the very fabric of our democracy.....And to think this all started with the sale of some donuts.

I honestly do not know where this came from. I thought I was pretty knowledgeable about all things ideological and political that goes on around me. But this one kind of came out of nowhere. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though, the wingnuts will find anything to rally around these days. Lord knows they need a cause. Things have been better for my friends on the right.

"Ahhh come on field, don't you do the same thing when you see negative and stereo typical images used in the media to portray black people? " Not quite the same thing. Now if I did an entire post ranting about the cones (the same shape as Klan hoods) that the road crews use during highway construction because they want to send negative subliminal messages to black motorist, then you would have a point. I mean that is the only analogy I can use to compare to Michelle's ridiculous stretch. Of course some of Hillary's people have been saying the same thing about you Obamaholics lately; that you are making some serious and questionable connections between what goes on this political season, and attaching some nefarious intentions to it to hurt the "O" man. Sorry Hillary lovers, I am not buying that either. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

Sorry wingnuts, this one ain't quacking, and it sure as hell doesn't look like a duck to me.

We are civilized Xenophobes.

I think my twenty four hour ban from blogging is up. If it's not, it will just have to be a sofa night for the kid.

So anyway I was thinking; what does Waterloo, Iowa, and Johannesburg, South Africa, have in common? I will tell you what. In both places anti- immigration hysteria has raised its ugly xenophobic head. In both these places anti- immigrant sentiments that is counterproductive, uncivilized, and unwise has taken the place of reason, common sense, and just plain human decency.

In South Africa, native South Africans have been searching out and savagely beating and killing immigrants (mostly Mzambicans looking for work) who they believe are taking jobs and houses away from them. If you are a foreigner South Africa would not be a good place for you to be right about now. Poor President Mbeki, he had to call on his countries' army for the first time since the end of apartheid in 1994. That's some troubling shit, and it really makes me wonder about my people sometimes.

Here in A-merry-ca, spurred on by anti- immigration sentiments, and an administration that is concerned with scoring political points with the A-merry-ca first crowd, had three hundred hard working immigrants (mostly South Americans from Guatemala, and no Arabs the last time I checked) arrested in a meat packing plant. The U.S. attorney for Northern Iowa called the operation an "Astonishing success". I bet it was. Nothing like arresting a bunch of illegals and rounding them up and sending them back to their own country. Yeah those meat packing jobs are going to be taken really soon. And this is no ordinary immigration prosecution. usually these cases fall under civil statutes, but not this time. No, these criminals were dragged into federal court with both their hands and feet shackled (hey at least they weren't being beaten my mobs on the street. Here in A-merry-ca we are more civilized than that), and most entered guilty please admitting to using fake social security numbers. You would have to be a lawyer, or have some knowledge of the law to understand how outrageous this prosecution was, but take my word for it on this one. Due process? We don't need no "stinkin" due process. Prosecutors drove a hard bargain, and through their Spanish interpreters, most of the defendants pleaded guilty. Of course hardly any of them had criminal records, and I am pretty sure that none of them had been to an al Queda training camp anywhere.

Of course none of the Managers, or the company which they worked for, Agriprocessors, were charged with any crimes. This is the same plant that had workers working fourteen hours a day and overnight shifts without any pay a few years ago. But we always have to protect our corporate interests here in A-merry-ca now don't we.

Now I know some of my African A-merry-can brothers and sisters will disagree with me on this one. Like their brothers in South Africa, some of them have some real issues with these immigrants coming and taking our jobs. (Yeah I feel you, and I see all those brothers running to Northern Iowa to work in those meat plants.....)

Back in South Africa, Cape Town police spokesman, Andre Traut, said that about 200 people have been arrested, and about 1,200 people mostly foreigners have been displaced. We also know that there has been over fifty deaths as well. Over sixteen thousand Mozambicans have already fled the anti- foreigner violence in South Africa, and neighboring African countries are making plans to get their citizens out of there.

Of course here in A-merry-ca we are way too civilized for the type of stuff that we have been seeing in Africa. We have our government to do such things for us. By the people and for the people right?

Mrs. Field posts!!!

Okay, for all of you who have been asking for a post from Mrs. Field, today you get your wish.


She read my posts about Joseph, and after reading your various comments and kind words she was moved to tears. So without further adieu. I give you your girl, Mrs. Field:



On behalf of my sister and my entire family, I'd let to say thanks to all of you for your kind words. I've always wondered why Field spends so much time blogging. Well now I know...he's in good company.



By the way, Field's little stunt with my picture didn't go unnoticed and certainly will have its consequences....he won't be online for 24 hours. Sorry everyone~



Mrs. Field

Hillary, it might be time for that Q word.

Hillary this was not a good time for your little Bobby Kennedy reference. I mean honestly, WTF were you thinking? Even if we take your word that you were merely making a historical reference, for you to do that almost 40 years to the day after Bobby Kennedy was assassinated was incredibly stupid. And I know I said I would vote for you over McCain if you got the dumbocratic nomination, but now......I don't know. You are either incredibly naive and stupid, or you are incredibly insensitive. Believe me, none of the above choices are any good.

Just days after Mike Huckabee's bad joke at an NRA gathering, and when pictures like the one I am showing with this post are popping up on the front page of Southern Newspapers; do you really think it was wise to even talk about someone who was assassinated while running for President of these divided states? Quite a few people believe you were making a reference to the "O" man Hillary, and that you were really saying that you should stay in the race, because like Kennedy, or King, he [Obama] could be shot. That's what folks are thinking, and quite frankly, how can you blame them for thinking that way? Quite a few black folks do not believe that A-merry-ca will allow the "O" man to go all the way. We are hoping for the better, but we are expecting the worse. We remember 1968 just like you do. You didn't have to remind us.

I caught your apology while you were standing in that grocery store in the middle of nowhere, and I like the fact that you were wearing black. I think it was appropriate. I think most people believe that we were looking at your political funeral, so the black outfit really set the tone. All that was missing was the coffin and the flowers. You are hoping for the "O" man to slip up in a major way to open the door for you. But you are the one slipping up, and your political career is going down the tubes with every stump speech and interview that you and your husband give.

Hillary, I watched your little slip of the tongue over and over, and I still can't tell what you really meant by your comments. But that, in a nutshell, is your problem. I can't believe you, and I don't even dislike you that much.

Please don't question me.

I know you all heard about this story: The U.N. is sending a race investigator to see if we have a racism problem here in A-merry-ca............Okay, there is so much I could say here but I will leave it alone.

Now to be honest, my first thoughts were, why? Why do we need a race investigator here in A-merry-ca? And if Doudou Diene (I love that name) does find racism just what the hell is he going to do about it?(I mean I guess he could write a scathing report, and embarrass A-merry-ca to the rest of the world, but we have no shame so what good would that do?) Honestly, do we need an investigator from the U.N. to tell us that there is racism in A-merry-ca? I don't think so. And couldn't the U.N. be doing more pressing shit like addressing world hunger, attending to the crises in Darfur, and the draconian measures that the IMF uses when they lend poor countries money? That's the kind of shit the U.N. needs to be focusing on, not racism in A-merry-ca. Yes we know it's here, but the shit is more individualized than institutional. There is no more Jim Crow, but there are still people who will pull up and move if they see a black family moving into their neighborhood. There are no more separate but equal schools by law, but people still self segregate themselves, and the result is a serious form of academic apartheid going on in our public schools across the country. All the U.N. investigators in the world looking for racism won't change that.

And Mr. Diene will be going to cities like New York, Washington D.C.,Chicago, Los Angeles, and.....San Juan? Okay, I guess the light skinned Puerto Ricans don't like the dark skinned Puerto Ricans and visa versa. So we really need an investigator to investigate that for us? And another thing, if Doudou really wants to see racism why isn't he going to places like Charleston West Virginia,Guntersville Alabama, or anywhere in Kentucky? Seriously, what the hell is he going to do in New York , or D.C.? just ask the man on the streets if he doesn't like people who are different? Hi my name is Doudou, and I would....what the fuck did you say your name was? Yo this is some kind of joke right? No I am really investigating racism for the U.N. Yeah well there is no racism to see here in America. Why do you think they call it the UNITED states. of America. And you better change your name fast pal if you plan to live here we don't like those funny names. I don't care if you do look like Seal. And I am sorry, but shouldn't the U.N. send a white man to investigate since we know that a real racist would never tell a black man like Mr. Diene how he really feels? The white man, on the other hand, will get all the information from the racist out there who thinks he is one of them. Brilliant huh?

I think the "racism tour" starts Monday. Good luck Mr. Diene, although you won't need it, you are going to find that A-merry-cans are some of the most polite people that you will ever meet.

Now what?

At least he has a flag lapel pin on.

And now the latest manufactured scandal from the Reich wing attack dogs to chew on.

Ready for this? Seems that one of the "O" man's delegates from Washington state is none other than Former Army Chaplain James Yee. You remember him don't you? He is the guy that our government accused of being a spy at Gitmo because he was a Muslim, and he had the nerve to tell us about the treatment some of the Muslim prisoners were receiving at the hands of their captors. For being a human being, he was branded a traitor. Apparently Muslims from poor countries don't rank quite as high on the human scale as us god fearing A-merry-cans.

So Mr. Yee will be a delegate at the DNC (no colored blogs allowed) convention in Denver. And the Reich wing folks are calling on the "O" man to denounce this traitor. On the FAKE NEWS Network tonight they were damn near foaming at the mouth.

Take it from me folks, over the next few days you will be hearing a lot about Mr. Yee. FAKE NEWS wll be running 24 hour loops of everything that he ever said and did. He will be branded a member of the hate A-merry-ca crowd, and his Muslim background will be played to the A-merry-can people until damn near every A-merry-can (including his wife, Michelle) will be thinking that Barack Obama is a Muslim.

So let's see how this latest gotcha works out for my loony friends from the Reich wing.

I am sure that they are hoping for a real scandal this time. It's getting harder and harder to find some real dirt on the guy, and time is running out.

"Groundhog Day"

Haven't we done this before? The Ice Queen wins yet another Bubba state by huge margins and yet she gets no closer to winning the dumbocratic nomination. In fact, this time the "O" man actually won a state to officially clinch the pledged delegate count of the dumbocratic party.

Historic times indeed. Imagine, a black man will be representing one of the major parties to become President of these divided states. So why am I not enjoying it? I guess the fact that the Ice Queen is still in the race and racking up huge victories among a certain ahem, ahem, demographic, just takes some of the shine from the "O" man. At a time when the party should be rallying around their potential candidate, the Ice Queen is saying on to Puerto Rico and yet another ass kicking for the chosen one.

This doesn't seem right, someone, anyone, should tell her to stop. Last night I saw her begging those poor folks for money so that her campaign could go on. Talk about chutzpah. Those poor people should have been begging her for money. One hundred million in five years, and she is begging for money? If she wants to stay in the race she should be loaning the campaign money out of her own pocket. She should see folks like Michael Bloomberg, and Mitt Romney to learn how this is done.

In a way it's sad. I kind of feel sorry watching the Ice Queen go through this exercise in futility. Watching her reminds of of that Barry Manilow song, "Copacabbana." "She was a show girl with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress way down to here...but that was thirty years ago when they use to have a show. Now it's a disco but not for Lola, still in the dress she used to wear faded feathers in her hair...." Hillary just won't get off the fucking stage.

Oh well, the coronation will take place in Denver, and it will be historic. (Even though the DNC is fucking that up as well by excluding bloggers of color from the floor. Sorry colored folks, we only allow certain white liberal blogs to participate in this process....don't even get me started about these mofos. Digression alert!) And I just wonder what Hillary will be doing (and thinking) when all that confetti comes streaming down on that tall lanky black man from Illinois. I take that back, I don't want to even imagine it.

**On a serious and more personal note. I want to thank everyone for their kind words of encouragement after my previous post. That shit was some serious ass field Negro behavior. Thanks again. And Mrs. Field thanks you too.

Goodbye.

Every now and then the sad realities of real life gets in the way of the joy we get from blogging.

A couple of years ago I posted this piece about the war in Iraq and the men (including my brother in law by marriage) who were putting their butts on the line for all of us.

Joseph Barnaba came home from that war, but he was never the same. The physical injuries he suffered was nothing compared to the emotional ones he had to live with.

Joseph Barnaba was found dead in his home last week. A deadly combination of pills in his system was blamed for his demise. But I think Joseph died long before last week. Joseph, like so many young men before him, came home from a war that he had no right being involved with in the first place. And sadly, it took its toll on him, his family, and all the people he touched.

Joseph Barnaba was buried on Saturday, far from the battle field where he was first injured. He was a good man, which is more that I can say for the son of a bitch who sent him there in the first place.

This 911 is no joke.

I was going to blog about the "O" man today and try to create a positive read about A-merry-ca. 50,000 folks in Portland showing the "O" man some Northwest love. Talk about rock star.

The "O" man couldn't get 50,000 people who look like that to show up for him in West Virginia if they were giving away life time NASCAR tickets....well, maybe if they were for life.

Unfortunately, a recent incident in "Music City" AKA Nashville Tennessee, has me seeing red (or should I say black) this morning.

Poor Sheila Jones, all she wanted was some help. All she wanted was an agency that is supposed to be looking out for the welfare of its citizens to come to her aid, but they didn't. Not the way they were supposed to. Thankfully, Sheila Jones is still alive today, but that was not a result of the 911 operators who are supposed to be looking out for her. Sheila Jones is alive in spite of their actions.

Sheila:"Get out of my house"

911: "Is he a boyfriend?"

Sheila: "He's ex. Get out of my house. Help. Outside now. He just went outside. "

This, my friends, went on for two hours and no police officers came to help Ms. Jones.

Okay, bad enough, and the story would have ended there, except for the shocking--well not so shocking-- behavior of one of these operators. After having to deal with the poor woman's ordeal, he promptly hung up the phone and said he didn't "give a shit."

Well, I suspect I know why. Oh boy here comes the field with his race stuff. You damn right. I heard that call, and let's keep it 100% with each other. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the poor woman was black. And the more she screamed and the more desperate she became, the "blacker" she sounded. If only Sheila could have put on a very white sounding voice. Hello, ah hi, my name is Sheila, and I am in like sooo much trouble. My boyfriend is like right outside, and I swear he is like trying to get in. Mam, don't move, we will have someone there before you can hang up the phone. Oh gee thanks sir, wait, I hear the sirens now. Yes, the police officer is here, thanks again.

Sorry, Sheila, I heard the tape, you have to work on the way you speak, you sound way too ethnic.

"Get the police now, my life is threatened. Please God. Please God.Please God. (That's three please gods. Maybe they figured god would save the poor woman) Get me police over now. He's got a knife on me. My life threatened."

Yes Sheila, we are going to have to work on that. It could save your life one day.

The NAACP and their vision problem.

A couple of months ago I met a gentleman in D.C. by the name of Kevin Myles. Kevin is the President of the Wichita branch of the NAACP, and I found him to be down to earth, sharp, and conscious. Most of all, he got it. He understood that the only way that the NAACP was going to truly become relevant as an organization, was to embrace the future, adopt to the changing ways of the information super highway, and organize around it.

The fact that I met Kevin at a bloggers technololgy conference was proof positive that he had his head in the right place, and we talked about his organization (the NAACP) and the future of other traditional civil rights groups like it.

I remembered Kevin today when I read about the NAACP selecting a new national president, a brother by the name of Ben Jealous ( I love that name). Oxford educated, Ivy League degree, Rhodes Scholar, community organizing since he was 14. (Did I say Jealous or Obama?) He clearly has all the right credentials, and I love that fact that he is only 35 years old. At least the elders at that venerable organization are starting to look in the right direction. Nothing against some of our older traditional leaders, but I was tired of the recycled preachers and the old boys club from the traditional civil rights movement. Here in Philadelphia the President of the NAACP is a self promoting, egomaniacal loof ( that's a backwards fool for those of you not familiar with field speak). He is one of the reasons that I stopped paying dues to the organization years ago. They were out of touch with the younger generation, and they closed ranks and refused to listen to other voices or let anyone else take an active role in the organization's direction.

Now, of course, we don't need them anymore. We can organize ourselves. Thanks to the Internet we can raise money, organize around causes, and get important messages out to each other.

The NAACP has approximately 500,000 members around the country. But Color of Change, an Internet activist group based out of California, has about that many people signed up and ready to go as online activist. Groups like the Afrospear (sphere), a coalition of bloggers of color, have over 100 active blogs with the power to organize and reach readers with their message. So while the NAACP has the brand, they need to recognize that they must adopt to change and try to combine the power of their brand with the technology now available to them.

Mr. Jealous is an old newspaper man (former executive director of the National Newspaper Publishers Association), but I am hoping that he can divorce himself from the traditional thinking of the old old black media, and move into the 21st century. He should be able to, because he is obviously a smart man, and he is young enough to understand the nuances of the new phenomenon that is online activism.

Kevin Myles understands it. But he is just one man from one of many NAACP branches around the country . He has started a blog for that chapter, and he has a vision of synthesizing the traditional message of the NAACPP with online activism and organizing. I wish him luck, because old habits are hard to break.

When W.E.B. DuBois and Ida Wells-Barnett started this great organization in 1909, I am sure that they never dreamed that it would grow into the powerful organization that it eventually became. But sadly,today, the NAACP is in trouble-- They were forced to lay off a third of their staff because of budget shortfalls--, and if their leadership don't get their heads out of their asses and stop enjoying the smell of their own shit, this once great organization will be reduced to just a footnote in history.

Nothing sweet about it.

I can relate to the "O" man's latest faux pas with Detroit reporter, Peggy Agar. Seems the"O" man slipped up and referred to the reporter as "sweetie" while trying to brush her off. Bad move in this hyper sensitive age of political correctness. And the reporter, to her credit, saw her opportunity and took it. Talk about "15 minutes of fame" . Well this sweetie is signing off is what she said at the end of her broadcast or something to that effect. Trust me, her tone was a lot worse than it reads. The "O" man was forced to call back girlfriend and leave an apology on her voice mail. (They even played the voice mail on WXYZ Television, her employer) "Hi this is Barack Obama.... (I can see the goose bumps from here) I meant no disrespect so I am duly chastened on that front."

Mrs. Field, of course, thought her hero was out of line. But Mrs. Field is a professional who works in a male dominated field, so I would expect no less. "You have that problem too Mister. Have you ever heard yourself when you talk to total strangers?" "Hi 'hon', sorry 'gorgeous', and yes I have heard you use 'sweetie' on more than one occasion". "Guilty as charged" I declare, "and I will stop". " Why do you think I am always correcting you? Some women actually find that offensive. "

Of course being who I am, I had to defend myself:"Yeah but women do it too. There are these older women I work with who always refer to me or other guys at the job as "hon". "Yes but they are older right?" Yes, so what's the difference? "They can do that and get away with it. " "They came from a different time when it was acceptable, it isn't anymore." " So would it be cool for an older man to use the term' sweetie' when addressing a women?" "Of course not!" "Field, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I am thinking that I don't know, and that right about now it feels good not to be a politician. I wonder why Michelle never gave the "O" man these life lessons. "That's a bad habit of mine."

"O" man, you are not alone.

When you lock him up, please throw away the key.

I just got my latest issue of GQ Magazine (yes I read GQ) and a note from the Letter to the Editor section reminded me why I despised the frat boy and his little munchkin of a crony so much.

The following is a letter the House Judiciary Committee sent the latest criminal from the Bush White House on April 17th.

"Dear Mr. Rove:

We write seeking your appearance before the House Judiciary Committee to testify concerning the troubling issue of the politicization of the Department of Justice during this Administration, including allegations regarding the prosecution of former Governor of Alabama Dan Siegelman....In a recent interview with GQ Magazine you respond by describing Ms. Simpson [Republican Attorney Dana Jill Simpson who accused Rove of sabotaging the reelection of Alabama Democratic Governor, Don Siegelman, by coercing U.S. Attorneys to charge him with corruption.] as a "complete lunatic" and asserting that she never mentioned your name during the deposition that she submitted to the Committee staff. In fact, Ms. Simpson actually referenced you several times at deposition. In any event, particularly since you have briefly commented on this matter in GQ and while serving as a commentator on FOX NEWS, we believe the subject, like other serious charges regarding the role of politics at the Department of Justice should be addressed before a key investigating Committee of Congress.

Thank you in advance for your prompt cooperation. "

Yeah I know Karl, executive privilege. Right?

See, this is what frustrates me about A-merry-ca. That this poor excuse for a human being can take away a man's freedom, destroy his political career, and still be allowed to make millions of dollars doing speaking engagements and acting (and I do mean acting) as a commentator on FOX NOISE.

Oh, and since we are talking about Rove. Let's talk about his classless boss and that little stunt he pulled over in Israel today. Playing politics on foreign soil while representing our country and while celebrating the 60th anniversary of one of the world's great democracies. That is reprehensible behavior as far as I am concerned. Wow, way to go frat boy, you have really outdone yourself this time.

But hey, I guess it's true what they say about "birds of a feather".

The field would like to pick a running mate.

Now that the "O" man has pretty much wrapped up the dumbocratic nomination to run for president of these divided states, the field would like to help him pick his running mate.

This is very important for a presidential candidate to have . A second fiddle who knows his or her place, but still can get their shine on if they have to. Think Robin to Batman, or The Pips to Gladys Knight.

So I was thinking.... who should the "O" man select? Forget Hillary, she is history, and the rethuglican base will be fired up enough at having the "O" man run. So let's see now; how about Indiana Senator, Evan Bayh? He seems to have the youth thing down pat, he is from the Midwest, and he is a white male. All good qualities to help the "O" man lock up a block of voters that he has been struggling with. But then, if he is going to go the white male route, he might as well go all the way and select a Southern white male as his number two man. Jim Webb for instance. Great military credentials, Southern, and certainly middle of the road. And while we are in that neighborhood, I thought of the highly respected Sam Nunn as well. Talk about gravitas. Still, I don't know, something seems to be missing....

Of course lots of women will be pissed at the "O" man for beating their girl, so he might want to go hard after the female vote. If he goes that route, he should consider Claire McCaskill, Senator from Missouri. And hey, if he really wants to be the unity candidate, he could reach across the isle and choose rethuglican Chuck Hagel as his number two man. The guy also has strong military credentials, (gotta have those military credentials) and he is a white male. (I know I keep going back to that white male vote, but let's be honest...the "O" man needs all the help he can get with this group) And speaking of white males, the "O" man got a major endorsement from John Edwards today, and this has quite a few people hinting at a "O" man Edwards ticket. Interesting but not a sure fire formula for an "O" man victory.

Folks, allow me to give you the secret weapon that will win it for the "O" man: His name is Uno. (The one word name thing is cool. Think Bono and Prince) Yes Uno. Don't laugh I am being dead serious. The "O" man wants to be ground breaking this election season, and what better way to break totally out of the box than to select Uno.

Think about it. He is extremely popular with a certain demographic, so he would help the "O" man with that very important group. Who could resist voting for the "O" man if he has the very cute and cuddly Uno on the ticket? And please don't give me the he is not smart enough speech, just because he is a dog. Hell how smart do you need to be to do this job? I give you two names: Dan Quayle and Dick Cheney, that's all you need to know.

Uno is also fairly young, even in dog years, so I think he would last for the length of the "O" man's terms. And think of the inauguration. You could finance the entire thing by reaching out to sponsors like like Kibbles n Bits, and Pet Smart.

Folks, let's be honest, politics has already gone to the dogs, so why not get an actual dog involved with the process?

"O" man, I say go for it. They are already calling you a monkey, so you might as well stay with the animal theme. Just think of all the cute T-shirts A-merry-cans will have to wear.

Sorry "O" man, these "Mountaineers" don't want you.

“'The contrast between the large, adoring crowds Obama draws at public events and the gritty street-level work to win votes is stark. The candidate is largely insulated from the mean-spiritedness that some of his foot soldiers deal with away from the media spotlight.' "

That quote is from a Washington Post article about the racism and downright vitriol some of the "O" man's volunteers have been subject to thanks to some of our fellow citizens here in A-merry-ca.

I haven't commented on this in awhile, but today is a perfect time in lieu of the severe ass whipping that the Ice Queen is putting on the "O" man tonight. This ass whipping comes compliments of my banjo playing friends in West Virginia.

Now if these folks were voting on the basis of policy and just pure politics it would be one thing. But quite a few of them have been willing to admit that they will not vote for the "O" man because... he is.....well...you know, tall. :)

But seriously, the level of ignorance in this country is astonishing. What's scary is that the folks in West Virginia are proud to let the country know that they will be laying the marker in the sand. And damn it if more folks were like them this little uppity nigger from Illinois wouldn't actually think that he could be the president of these divided states. I actually think that quite a few of them are angry that he was allowed to even go this far. Poor "O" man, he is trying to build a movement based on unity, and when he actually does win the dumbocratic nomination to be president, the country, because of him, will be more divided than ever. Black folks will continue to get his back. (90%) But some white folks, mostly the poor and uneducated ones will continue to reject him by almost the same margin.

I visited West Virginia once. I was up in Morgantown, and the town wasn't all that bad. Of course it was a university town, and I was among West Virginia's educated class. But from what I can remember the people were friendly and decent, and I wasn't called a nigger not once. Well, not to my face. But there was poverty there, and I remember that the state had a lot of natural beauty but noticeable poverty as well.

Which is the irony of all this. Why would a state that has been one of the countries' poorest all these years, so overwhelmingly support a politician who would give them more of the same, and not one offering change? Why wouldn't they at least give the black man a chance? And hell, he isn't even all the way black. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, after all, they keep sending a former Klansman to Washington.

So tonight, the Ice Queen will be giving another victory speech thanks to her moonshine drinking friends. And she will demand that the super delegates pay attention. She will demand that the ones abandoning her, like a Rastafarian on a pig farm, reconsider their votes. But if they are like me they won't. They will see West Virginia for what it is, a state with a large Bubba population, who would rather switch than fight for the black man.

The problem for the "O" man and the Obamaholics, is how many more West Virginia' do we have out here? How many of these types of folks do we really have in A-merry-ca? You know the ones. The ones that if Obama came to their homes and gave every family a check for $10,000 they still wouldn't vote for his black ass. Yeah thanks for the check "Osama", you got our vote brother........ yeah right nigger, not in this life, and the other one ain't looking too good either.

"The contrast between the large, adoring crowds Obama draws at public events and the gritty street-level work to win votes is stark. The candidate is largely insulated from the mean-spiritedness that some of his foot soldiers deal with away from the media spotlight."

Yeah but not for long "O" man, not for long.

"It's time for Hill to take the hint"

The Daily News, one of my hometown papers, has been really kicking out some nice opeds lately. The latest cut and paste worthy job comes compliments of my friend Flavia Colgan. Flavia is somewhat of a political operative here in town, and frankly, this oped piece by her, while very well done, surprised me a little.

I never thought that she would be one of the folks calling for the Ice Queen's exit.

So anyway, here goes:

"SEN. CLINTON, it's time.

While the Obama campaign and others in the Democratic Party are treading lightly and trying not to say flat out that it's time for you to end your quest for the presidency, I'm not going to mince words.

You've run an impressive campaign over the last few weeks, especially in Pennsylvania, where you scored a decisive victory.

Had you knocked Sen. Barack Obama on the ropes by performing strongly in North Carolina and winning big in Indiana, there would be every reason to further consider your argument that Obama was severely weakened by his connection with the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and was unelectable. Instead, to be blunt, Obama scored a TKO.

Coming out of the worst three weeks of his campaign, he not only far exceeded the polling leading up to North Carolina and Indiana, but voters showed a new burst of confidence in him that will now carry him to the nomination.

You may say that you won't exit the race until there is a nominee.
That would seem to be saying that any candidate in any past election who read the numbers and concluded that it was best to go out with grace was somehow weak.
But candidates drop out of races all the time before their party officially has a nominee. It's not a matter of weakness, it's a matter of exiting with dignity, and not seeming to claw and cling to your quest like it was an ego trip.

Here's what you need to take a deep look at - and consider.
How do you want to be remembered? Your legacy and your husband's will be forever tarnished if you continue to run a campaign which argues that Obama is not electable, and uses Sen. John McCain's talking points to prove it.

Your husband will no longer be remembered as America's first "black president," but as part of the cabal that took down America's best shot at an actual African-American president.
You'll be remembered as the woman who was more interested in staying on the stage too long, to get a few more seconds of the spotlight than helping elect a president who has much more in common with you than the Republican nominee. From Harlem to the Senate floor, that kind of legacy will cast a dark, cold shadow on you, forever.

Everyone understands how painful it must be to have your campaign thwarted by such a newcomer to the political scene. It hurts even more knowing that for months you ran a terrible campaign, courtesy of uber-consultant Mark Penn, and just seemed to be finding your stride when it was too late.

But the fact is that it's too little, too late. The math is against you, and trusted friends like former Sen. George McGovern and former Democratic Chairman Joe Andrews have made it clear they can no longer stand with you, just as the majority of primary voters aren't with you.
You can still win West Virginia, Kentucky and Puerto Rico, sure. But what does that really get you? Certainly not the nomination. And that's the only thing that should matter."

Hillary, I am not going to tell you to get out of this race, you have every right to run. (I am sure that you and your red neck friends are going to put an ass whopping on the "O" man tomorrow) The people who support you deserve that much. But like Flavia said, you might want to start thinking about your long term goals, and your legacy.

I know the Opera ain't over until the fat lady sings, but this ain't no Opera, and Obama ain't fat.

That's billion with a "b".

If you have heard this joke before hang with me while I tell it again.

I went on a blind date with a very attractive woman last night. When I say her I was so taken by her beauty that I asked her what she wanted to do. She told me she wanted to go to the most expensive place in town; so I took her to the gas station......Okay, so it's not exactly Pryoresque.

But I thought of that joke today while I was gassing up my car. $3.85 a gallon? Are you kidding me? And yet, as someone pointed out, a gallon of gas is still cheaper than a gallon of milk.

Honestly I don't know how some people are making it in this country. I do alright money wise, and I even noticed that the cost of things like groceries have shot up over the past few weeks. I suspect that this has something to do with the cost of fuel as well. After all, someone has to drive those groceries to the grocery store.

But how did this happen? Weren't the Iraqis supposed to be giving up their oil to us after we kicked their asses? Didn't we put an oil man in the White House for this very reason?

11.6 billion in one quarter that's how much Exxon made in profits last quarter. Nothing wrong with that of course, this is A-merry-ca, if the market demands it, they have every right to make money. But at what point does the market stop demanding it? When do A-merry-cans say enough? I suspect that if gas was $6 a gallon mofos would still be driving around in Ford Excursions, Hummers, and all sorts of big ass fuel guzzlers. And most folks would still jump in their cars and drive a quarter mile on a beautiful day to buy a newspaper, instead of just hoofing it. This is what we have become as A-merry-cans, we are lazy, and spoiled.

Now the conservatives are blaming the dumbocrats: They won't drill in the ANWR(Arctic National Wildlife Refuge), the damn environmentalist won't let us explore nuclear energy as an alternative to what we have now, we can drill off the coasts, and on an on. That, of course, is bullshit. Because no matter how much oil the oil companies drill, they will still not release it all to the market. No, they will hold back to create demand just like the Arabs are doing now. We have been down this road before. Give these corporations a chance to make more profit and guess what they will do? Make more profit. And if you think they will pass it down to you, the consumer, I have a slightly cracked bell here in Philly to sell you.

So now one of the hottest sellers at Pep Boys is the gas caplock. This is the case because people steal gas now, and it's only getting worse. People in our area have been going to the mall with a full tank of gas, and after a full day of shopping, they find themselves heading back to a car with an empty tank of gas. Talk about a mood killer.

Every now and then I see signs that A-merry-cans are reaching their breaking point. But then as I sat stuck in traffic on Bustleton Avenue this Saturday--- of all days, I had to rethink my position. Here in A-merry-ca we are still driving every damn where, and it doesn't look like the gas price is effecting our habits very much.

So we will keep bitching and moaning, the oil companies, and Manny Moe and Jack will continue to get rich, and the politricksters that we send to Washington will keep pointing fingers at each other to score political points.

I should have bought a hybrid.

"FILTHADELPHIA"

Warning, this post is going to make some folks uncomfortable, or maybe not.

Today I was in a North Philadelphia visiting a client of mine, and after spending an hour or two with the lady, I headed back to my car. Philly parking being what it is, I was parked about a block from her house. While walking back to my car, a grown ass man who was walking ahead of me, decided to throw a rather large box that previously contained take out, right on the sidewalk in front of me.

Now please understand that nothing sets me off more than seeing people just throw trash on the fucking sidewalk. There is absolutely no reason for it. It is nasty, inconsiderate, and just downright ignorant. Here in Philly we have a serious problem with that shit. (They don't call us "Filthadelphia" for nothing.) Folks will just throw their trash on the ground like it ain't shit. As if the ground is just one large trash receptacle (I am not mad at Nagin, he was right). But what does that say about the mind set and the mentality of someone who does some ignorant shit like that? Clearly if you just throw your trash on a public sidewalk, or on someones lawn, you don't care about the community in which you live or the image you project.

And black folks can we talk? Why is it that I mostly see this shit in our neighborhoods? Why don't we care about keeping our neighborhoods looking beautiful? I go to some of the poorest white neighborhoods here in Philly (and yes I know they are white, because here in Philly we are divided like that ), and you can tell that the people there are poor, but you know what? Their shit is clean. The sidewalks are swept, the lawns are clean, and there is little or no graffiti on the walls. What the hell is it about our people that we think it's okay to mess up shit? Walk down the street, just throw whatever trash you have on the sidewalk, and there is a trash can two fucking feet from you. Honest to god you have to wonder what the homes of these people look like.....actually, never mind, I have seen that too, and it ain't good.

"Oh come on field, why are you being so hard on our people, most of these folks are poor and don't know any better." Yeah okay, but since when did poverty have anything to do with just being plain nasty? It doesn't cost shit to pick up a piece of paper, or hold it a few seconds longer until you can throw it in the trash can. Sorry, it's time to declare jihad on some of you nasty ass Negroes giving the rest of us a bad name.

So fam. looks back at me, and I am giving him the fuzzy eye ball. Fam. gives me a look like; yeah motherfucker, I just threw that shit on the ground, and what the fuck is it to you? I size him up, it's the middle of the day and the motherfucker looks high. He has the hardcore shit down pat, and he is probably thinking, pussy. Of course he would be wrong. And I am thinking right about now that I ought to just roll on his ass. Attorney shot to death on North Philly street, police are still trying to figure out the motive for the shooting. I think better of it and dip into my car. The motherfucker is still looking at me like he is waiting for me to say something. There is a few things I could say to his ignorant ass, but I hold it in. I am thinking I will just blog about the shit later when I get home.

As I drove away and looked in my rear view, I swear that I saw the motherfucker throw something else in the street. I really want to turn around, but I don't. Sometimes blogging can literally save your life.

THIS CHURCH HAS RELAXED ITS NEGRO ADMITTANCE POLICY

"Freehold Iowa- Wednesday evening, Pastor Deacon Fred sent elderly white church members into a tizzy of profane catcalls when he announced that Landover Baptist would be admitting people of color into the main sanctuary for the first time in history. He assuaged their fears by confiding that coloreds would have limited access to the general congregation and would be restricted to hidden areas. "We've got to face it my friends," he said, "It's not the same world anymore. There are colored folks in this town who make more money than some of our tin-level tithers, and cash doesn't discriminate based on color. It's all green to Jesus and He doesn't care if it comes out of a Negro's shoe, or a white man's wallet, as long as it ends up in our offering plates on Sunday morning. Praise God!"

Landover Baptist will utilize a screening process invented by wealthy, educated colored folks. "We understand that people of color with money are just as leery of other Nubians whose ancestors were apparently so hideously unattractive that no obese, drunken white man could even bring himself to rape them," said Pastor Deacon Fred. Since Coloreds have developed a successful process for screening out their undesirables, and since we don't have much experience in these matters, the Board of Deacons at Landover Baptist is advising that whites borrow from a pre-existing process that people of color are already very comfortable with. "We understand that this is a very exciting time for local Negroes," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "For many, it's their first opportunity to worship in a real church, with a floor that doesn't turn to mud when it rains, and to be among people whose parents and grandparents first introduced their ancestors to the lashing Love of Jesus. If it's any indication of their eagerness, there is a already a long list of applicants who have paid the non refundable $50.00 admittance test fee."

Prospective Negro church members annual household income must exceed $148,000 (as verified by non-colored accountants) to qualify for the following admittance tests:

1. Brown Paper Bag Test:A brown paper bag will be placed next to the face of each candidate. If the skin of the candidate is darker than the bag, they will not be admitted into the church. If such a person is unable to tap-dance or engage in any other harmless talent to the delight of the families making their way from the reserved parking decks, they will be immediately escorted by Pastor Sergeant Connor into the next county. Those Negroes who pass this initial test will then be directed to the appropriate ticket window and should then pay careful attention to the three signs for the new, separate entrances: Brown Paper Bag , High Yellow, and Passing. Out of loving Christian concern, we understand that if an individual falls into one category, they will be uncomfortable if they are seated in the company of another category. As such, one of the domestics employed by the Ladies of Landover will make a binding, non-appealable, decision regarding where you will sit based on your skin tone.

2. Pencil Test:A pencil will be placed through the hairy naps at the back of the head of each candidate. If the pencil stays in the naps without support, the candidate will be denied access to the church, but will be permitted to join us in worship from the parking lot if a love offering is make in advance.

3. Bible Balance Test:A Bible will be placed at the tuft of the back, just above the buttocks of the candidate. If the hind end is jutted in such a way that it holds the Bible in place without support, the candidate will be denied access to the main sanctuary, but will be permitted to join us in worship in the caged area behind the one way mirror above the center balcony.

4. Pronunciation Test:Candidates will be given a series of simple English sentences to memorize and recite (example: "I say, don't you rather think that this pish-posh about it being dreadfully inclement was balderdash, as it appears that it shall be most agreeably lovely – just absolutely, gloriously brilliant -- for well into the next fortnight, no?" ) If the candidate forgets or mispronounces any of the words, or if the Pastor doing the testing is not comfortable with their quarrelsome or uppity inflection, they will not be admitted to the main sanctuary, but will be allowed to join us in worship from the parking lot or from behind the one way mirror above the center balcony.

5. Special TestFor legal reasons, we do not discuss this special test publicly.
Historical Note: Previously, people of color were confined to the small caged area to the rear of main sanctuary where they were forced to stand behind a one way mirror. Coloreds were also permitted to sit out in the field behind the church and watch services on the outdoor jumbo-tron above the parking lot. Since, in bald violation of States' Rights and etiquette, the US Marshals' surprise raid in 1972 forced Landover members to finally free their slaves, white parishioners have since suffered greatly for the Lord's sake. In some extreme cases, members who cannot afford servants are even forced to do their own cooking and cleaning. Most Landover Baptist members retain their family slaves in the form of "indentured servants." These faithful and happy servants retain their previous living quarters and are given a small salary for food and clothing. In return, they are blessed daily with the privilege of serving the last generation of True American Christians™ in Freehold, Iowa. These faithful servants await their reward in Heaven where, God willing, they will continue 5 star service to God's chosen people who will become their masters in mansions of Glory.

Special Notice: As a privately funded non-profit religious institution, the Landover Baptist Church reserves the right to discriminate based on race, religion, sexual preference, size, weight, height, age, sex, and political affiliation. "

More about my favorite church here.

10 MYTHS ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE.

Today a gentleman who reads my blog and who happens to be white, was telling me how surprised he was at some of the comments from African Americans (how does he know their race?) after my post about the recent police chase and beat down here in Philly. "Field quite a few of the African Americans on your site seemed to be sympathetic to the cops. Who knew?"

I did. I knew that black people aren't monolithic, and that we are full of surprises.

But his question got me thinking: what are some of the other misconceptions white people have about us black folks?

1. BLACK PEOPLE AREN'T PATRIOTIC- That is so wrong. Black folks are some of the most patriotic A-merry-cans. Trust me, I know, I have been in quite a few knock down drag out fights with my A-merry-can brothers and sisters about my patriotism, because I happen to have been born outside of the country. Black folks love this country. If they didn't, they would have burned it down a long time ago.

2. BLACK PEOPLE ALWAYS AGREE WITH EACH OTHER- Nothing could be farther from the truth. Black folks love to argue and fight more than any other group. We don't ever agree on shit. Don't believe me? Put a bunch of black folks in a room and watch them try to come together around a common goal. Talk about "herding cats."

3. BLACK FOLKS ARE SOFT ON CRIME- This is for my colleague. I hope he is reading the blog tonight as well. Any trial lawyer who practices cases in urban areas knows this: Black folks tend to be actually tougher on criminals, because we are more often than not the victims of crimes committed by some of the people in our own neighborhoods. Sadly, the white man's grass is always greener mind set doesn't extend to the criminals among us. To them, our grass is the only one worth taking. So we have no love for that element among our people.

4. BLACK PEOPLE ARE VERY RELIGIOUS- Wrong! Black people love to go to church, but we are not very religious. We will go to church and talk shit about who is wearing what, and about what the pastor talked about in his sermon. But I honestly think that it's a small number of folks in the church who are really religious, or at least trying to be.

5. BLACK FOLKS ALL LOOK ALIKE- Come on now. Look at Flava Flav, and look at Denzel Washington and tell me if you still think that shit is true.

6. BLACK PEOPLE LOVE THEIR CARS MORE THAN THEIR HOUSES. Nope, that's a myth too. We black people just use our cars a a *crutch(thanks PFABA) because we can't get a nice house to live in. I bet if we had nice houses like white folks we would love our houses too. But our credit is fucked up and we can't come up with the $20,000 down payment for a house, so we invest what little money we do have into our cars.

7. BLACK PEOPLE ARE LAZY-Wrong wrong wrong. Black people have no incentive to work because we don't own shit. We figure we are working to make someone else rich, and we are always going to get paid just enough to keep the company profitable. It's why so many black folks work for the post office. We figure if we are going to work, it might as well be for a someone we pay taxes to. At least we can say we own some of the federal government, and we know that if it's not profitable they won't fire our asses.

8. BLACK PEOPLE ALWAYS VOTE FOR THE BLACK CANDIDATE NO MATTER WHAT-Myth! Black people will vote for the black candidate if he is a democratic candidate. Just ask Michael Steele, and Alan Keys if they think black people always vote for the black candidate. A white democrat will beat a black republican in a black neighborhood every time. It's not about race, it's about party.

9. BLACK PEOPLE ARE NOT ADVENTUROUS-Myth! When you are black every day is a fucking adventure. So we don't have to go searching for shit like bungee jumping, and sky diving to get an adrenalin rush. Just walking home from the bus stop is adventure enough for most black folks.

10. BLACK PEOPLE DON'T TIP-This is one of those self fulfilling prophecy deals. If you, the waiter, dumb down your service when you see black folks because you think they won't tip you, guess what's going to happen? You guessed it; bad service, low tip.

I'm out.

Uncle Al.

"In order to successfully exploit the population of nignoramuses whoactually do believe that the inordinate number of blacks killed by policeis not the result of committing crimes and stupid actions in the vicinity of armed police at a rate far above their prevalence in the general population for profit and political influence (power), Sharpington must publicly believe there ought to be more whites being shot by cops until the numbers of such shootings are between eight and nine times as many as those of blacks.In other words, I'm saying he (officially) wants *more* white people shot by cops, but he gets to avoid being a "racist" because he claims to believe more blacks are shot by cops than is warranted by the extra-criminal nature of the black population the police deal with every single day and must respond to if they want to go home alive every night instead of politically-correct heroes-of-the-revolution in-a-box.Sharpton is an exploiter of ignorant wishful-thinking . He happens to be fortunate (for him) to be the same basic color-scheme as those in whose group this type of oversimplification is rampant and so is taken as "letitimate" within the group who can be exploited by such sophist canards.In another time and another skin, he'd have made a fortune traveling around in a wagon selling snake-oil."

That was one of the answers given on yahoo answers to the question: why doesn't Al. Sharpton rally and plead for the cause of whites who are killed by police officers?

I thought about that, and I think I know at least one answer; there aren't any. I mean I tried to find such an incident, but I couldn't. Lord knows I wore out google searching, but nothing. No white man killed in a questionable shooting by police officers. So for now, one of A-merry-ca's crazy uncles in the attic, will be allowed to continue to embarrass the family.

But hey, it's late, and I must confess my search was not as thorough as it could have been. I am sure that someone reading this post will do the research for me and come up with at least one such incident. I bet there is one certain commenter who is searching right now :)

So the good Reverend and some other protesters were arrested today in New York for protesting the Sean Bell killings, and as is usually the case when the good Reverend is involved, folks are crying race hustle. Honestly, they just might be right. But I don't know what's in the Reverend's heart -although I do know that he loves the camera- so I don't want to assume that I know what his motives are.

But I will say this: lately the good Reverend could find lots of stuff to keep him busy right here in Philly. Over the past few days we have witnessed a gang in blue beat three unarmed men in a car, literally put some minority neighborhoods under siege and in fear, as SWAT teams storm from house to house looking for a cop killer. Ahh field stop it, if these young black thugs didn't commit such a disproportionate number of crimes in our country, the police would not be so involved with these types of clashes with them. That might or might not be true, but how can we tell? How can we tell that if the color of the skin of these perps were different the police reaction to them would not be different as well? A female colleague of mine asked me today, if I think police officers "would have dragged some white youths from their car like they did on that video." And I had to be honest with myself and with her, and say no. Which is why us black folks (Uncle Al or not) still march and write and protest when we see incidents like Sean Bell, Ronald Madison, Amadou Diallo,Khiel Coppin, Patrick Dorismond....(you get the point), taking place here in A-merry-ca. It's why Reverend Al, bad perm and all, has been allowed to thrive. It's why he can continue what some folks see as his race hustle here in the land of the free.

Sorry A-merry-ca, you can't blame anyone for folks like the Reverend, but yourself.

Two wrongs....

I know that I should be posting something about the "O" man's victory tonight, and that I should be congratulating you Obamaholics on a nice win. But sorry, tonight I have something else on my mind.

Now I am going to surprise some folks, but I am pretty much a law and order guy. I know I am opposed to the death penalty, and I believe that felons should be allowed to vote. I believe that society should try to find ways to let felons transition back into the mainstream, and yes, I actually defend people accused of committing crimes. But still, I believe that if you commit a crime and you are found guilty, your ass should do the time. I believe that every citizen should respect the law, and police officers who put their butts on the line to protect me, deserve my utmost respect.

Having said that, something happened here in Philly last night that was quite disturbing. Once again some of our boys in blue acted like the gangsters that they are supposed to be protecting us from. If you haven't seen the video yet, I guarantee you that you will soon. [look here and judge for yourself] It isn't quite Rodney King, but it's bad. And let me be fair to Philly's finest, they just lost one of their own (see my sidebar) when some animal decided to take his life with a high powered assault rifle. So I know that they are on edge. Especially since one of the perpetrators of the crime is still on the loose. Still, it's not excuse to make a pinata out of a bunch of shooting suspects, and ignore all your years of training by letting your raw emotions take over.

So Inspector Ramsey, welcome to Philly, you are going to find that this is not D.C., our cops reflect the attitude of our people, and our people have some serious attitude problems. There are all sorts of issues involved here: Race, neighborhoods, the blue wall camaraderie, and law and order. My city is on edge and it's not even summer yet. Watching the reports of that officer's shooting the other night, broke my heart. And hearing that his last words to bystanders was, "tell my wife I love her", damn near had me tearing up.

But then, watching how his fellow officers behaved after this chase, broke my heart all over again.

Unity?

I caught an essay by right wing writer and attack dog, Jonah Goldberg, in the National Review, and it moved me to write. The article basically attacked the "O" man and his unity message as phony, and drew a line in the sand between patriots and folks who he considers the anti American left.

Now let me say for the record, that I hold Jonah Goldberg in the same regard as I do a Chinese toy inspector. But he is a highly respected writer and thinker on the right, and every now and then it's good to respond to these types of essays.

Goldberg trashes the "O" man for talking about what is to him (Goldberg), a false message of unity. He asks: "What the heck do do these words mean? Unity for what, around what?" He is angry that democrats, and more specifically, Obama, uses the word "unity" instead of patriotism. Goldberg prefers patriotism. He thinks democrats suffer from "anticipatory offense" when confronted about the patriotism issue. He quotes another right wing wacko, Fred Barnes, who calls the democratic reaction to the patriotic challenge, "patriotic paranoia". And he spends a great deal of time and energy ripping one of my favorite quotes: "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism." He thinks it's "foolish", and he questions its origins and its relevance. This sarcastic quote from John Sullivan is supposed to drive home his point:"Dissent is the highest form of patriots, treason is the highest form of dissent. Therefore treason is the highest for of patriotism." Ha ha ha ha

Clearly to Mr. Goldberg liberals are not patriots. People who want unity and not patriotism do not have America's best interest at heart. The folks on the left are somehow apologist for the darker more evil governments that populate the world. And to drive home this point, he quotes conservative icon and the newly departed William Buckley, who was appalled that folks tried to compare and find a moral equivalency between Russia and the USA. "If one man pushes an old lady into an oncoming bus, and another pushes the old lady out of the way we should not condemn them both as men who push old ladies around." Okay cute, but I want to know who is driving the damn bus that almost ran down the lady old lady in the first place. If our government had something to do with the driver of the bus, who cares if it was our government that pushed the little old lady out of the way?

Goldberg takes great offense to the left always labeling right wingers as fascist. Fascism, he insists, was not about patriotism, but nationalism. "Hitler himself insisted he was no patriot, but a nationalist. The USA was created as a nation dedicated to limited government and individual rights. Fascist nationalism is almost the complete opposite of patriotism." Unity according to Mr. Goldberg means nothing and has no value or worth (Sorry "O" man). "The only value in unity is strength, strength in numbers, and again that is a fascist value." Hmmmm, Obama the fascist? Because he sure has the numbers. Mr. Goldberg describes the "fasces" symbol as a "bundle of sticks" , and he goes on to describe the types of atrocities that can be created under the bundle: The SS, the Mafia, and the lynch mobs of old.

Yes, but all of these groups came together under a specific and dangerous belief system. Blacks are inferior, honor a blood code even if it means committing crimes, exterminate the Jews. Numbers is fine with the right belief system, it's when that belief system becomes corrupted or co opted by those with ill intentions that unity becomes a bad thing. Jonah, I honestly don't think that there is any evil lurking in the "O" man's heart. Now yours, on the other hand, I am not so sure about.

Goldberg has the nerve to say that Socrates, Jesus, and Thomas More were ostracised in the name of unity. No Jonah, they were ostracized because they were different and they dared to challenge the status quo. Something that many of these faux patriots and right wing bloggers and writers, like you never tolerated. Especially while your leaders were in power.

Jonah thinks that the founding fathers dedicated a lot of thought to unity. And that they thought that it should be viewed with scepticism. Thus, he says, the constitution was designed to "thwart the basic forms of unity" He argues for the divisiveness of the checks and balance system of our government. I agree with him there of course. I just wonder where he was, and why he wasn't writing these types of essays when his party controlled all three branches of our government at once. Wasn't much checks or balances going on then now was there Jonah? But I guess they were all patriots , so it was alright.

Goldberg argues: "Rightly ordered unity in a democratic republic is the end result of ceaseless debates and discussions. But today ceaseless debates and discussions is what many liberals object to". I see, but why should liberals even discuss or debate with you? And why should they compromise their beliefs? You won't compromise yours. Isn't this what this entire beef with the "O" man is about? You think he is asking you to compromise your belief system so that he can promote his far left agenda?

"Obama proclaimed in 2007. 'My problem in this race is not rival candidates, it's cynicism'. His insistence that divisiveness is his greatest enemy is belied by the fact that he is unwilling to repudiate Jeremiah Wright. Meanwhile Obama sees nothing wring with demonizing Geraldine Feraro--or even his own grandmother-- for crass political purposes." Ouch! And on it goes throughout the entire essay. Obama's unity message is an "illusion". Obama's rival, he says, is not the other candidates, but patriotism.

Jonah, you just made a hell of an argument for folks like me who don't want to unify with your ass. Liberty is a great goal, but liberty with a belief in what? And if we have to unify under the banner that you and those of your ilk call patriotism, I think I will pass. So as a result, I will pass on the "O" man's unity message too, because it would mean unifying with you. And it's a shame, because were it not for folks like you on the other side, his message would have actually had a shot.

"Better truth than flattery"

I read a great article from Jay Bookman today, in my hometown paper, The Philadelphia Inquirer, which is cut and paste worthy. I know the A-merry-ca love it or leave it crowd won't like it, but the truth hurts sometimes.

Sorry, unlike the rest of the folks here in A-merry-ca; I don't like my leaders to be like Pamela Anderson's breasts. Fake! So I co-sign with Mr. Bookman's thesis 100%.

Here goes:

"We Americans have a high regard for ourselves. We are - or so we tell ourselves - the richest, the most generous, the most powerful, the most peace-loving, the most productive, the most wise, and the most lovable nation on the face of the earth.

We also love politicians who dare to tell us all those wonderful things about ourselves. Like any people, we want to think well of our country and take pride in it, and we want leaders who take pride in it as well.

But there's a difference between justified pride and illusion.
Too many Americans seem to believe that our place in the world has been divinely ordained and thus permanent, when in fact it is the product of past sacrifice and wise choices. It can all be lost if we also lose the capacity to look at ourselves and our problems honestly.

It is no longer true, for example, that we are the richest nation in the world. Quite the contrary, in recent years we have become the world's biggest debtor nation. We are financing our prosperity in the manner of an old but declining aristocratic family, living beyond our means year by year by pawning off the assets earned by earlier generations.

But our leaders don't dare tell us that truth, because they know we wouldn't take it well. Even as they acknowledge some minor current difficulties, most of our political and business leaders reassure us that our economy is still sound as a dollar. They don't happen to point out that compared with the euro, the value of that dollar has declined by a third in just the last five years.

Yes, we remain productive, but that too cannot last if our government is too poor to invest sufficiently in our public infrastructure. Our roads, bridges, rail lines and ports are crumbling and insufficient in a modern economy, but we decline to tax ourselves to correct that situation. Our nation's Highway Trust Fund - the main source of infrastructure investment - will be bankrupt by 2009, yet we refuse to increase gasoline taxes to replenish that account.

Officially, we tell ourselves we can't afford it. Meanwhile we ship fortunes to oil producers overseas, where the money is put to such useful and productive purposes as building ski resorts in the Arabian desert.

There are no easy answers to $4 gasoline, but our leaders are nonetheless eager to offer a few. Some choose to bash the oil companies, as if they are at fault for our addiction to their product. Others suggest suspending the federal gasoline tax, which would slightly and temporarily ease our pain at the gas pump but do nothing whatsoever to cure the underlying disease.

President Bush, for his part, suggests drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, yet another seemingly pain-free solution. But we could drain the wildlife refuge of every single drop of oil it might hold and it would not lower the price of gasoline a nickel. Nor would it alter our strategic situation in any meaningful way.

Four hundred years ago, an English writer-philosopher offered great advice to a counselor to King James I. Always tell the king the truth, Sir Francis Bacon wrote in a letter to his friend. Tell the king what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear.

'If you flatter him, you betray him,' Bacon warned. "If you conceal the truth of those things from him . . . you are as dangerous a traitor to this state as he that riseth in arms against him."

A lot of things have changed since Bacon's time. In this country, We the People are now king, but Bacon's truth still applies. Those advisers and courtiers who flatter us also betray us.
Instead of flattery, we need honesty. We don't need leaders to tell us how great we are, we need leaders willing to tell us that we've gotten ourselves into a bad mess and it's going to take hard work, sacrifice and cooperation to fix it. The alternative is the decline of a great nation.
Or, as a writer-philosopher named Bob Dylan once put it:
'If it keeps on raining, the levee's gonna break;
Some people still sleepin', some people wide awake'."

Shit, pass me the Ambien please.

[Link here.]

TIP CUPS!!!!

This is going to be more of a rant than a post. I am quite sure that most of you will disagree with my position on this, but it's a pet peeve of mine which bothers me more on some occasions than it does others.

This was such an occasion. I just got back from a Dunkin Donuts around the corner from my house, and honest to god I have had it with tip cups in these service establishments. Like WTF? Why can't these businesses pay their employees without depending on my damn tip to supplement their income?

I am sorry, but if I buy a coffee and bagel for x amount of dollars plus tax, that is all I expect to pay. I don't feel like getting the fuzzy eyeball from some guy at a cash register because I decide to put my change in my pocket. And I consider myself a decent tipper (15-20% depending on the service) but there are certain jobs, such as waiting tables, where tipping is a part of the deal. You deserve a tip because you are actually giving me service. Reaching over and picking up a fucking bagel and then ringing up a cash register doesn't get you a tip. Thing is, you look in the tip cup and you see all these dollar bill stuffed to the top, and you feel like a complete jerk if you don't leave something. Not to mention everyone in the joint looking at you like you are a damn serial killer or some shit. I swear they all stop what they are doing at that exact moment when you get your change back. "Oh field, stop being so cheap, you can more than afford to give the poor people a little tip, they probably only make $7 an hour." Well maybe they should be in another line of work. They might want to consider the type of service job where people are supposed to get a tip. I don't see a tip cup at my supermarket, or the post office (not yet, but I am sure that's coming), or my cleaners..wait I take that back, my cleaner does have a tip cup. Geez!


And let's not lose focus of who this is about. It's not about the employees, it's about the damn owners of these joints who hire these people with the promise of a big fat tip cup at the register. Here is something that these owners might want to consider: pay these folks a decent wage and lose the damn tip cups. They are annoying.

The Gaydar.

Okay Zack you are going to get your wish with this post. Not because I am bowing to commenter pressure, but because of an important issue that came up while I was going about my daily routine.

So today I was having lunch with two female colleagues, and the issue of state senator Fumo's comments came up. One of the sisters who reads my blog wanted to know why I was always so quick to stick up for gay rights; and while we were at it...."I don't know field, I mean you do go to 12th Street Gym." (For those of you non Philly folks, 12th Street is pretty much known as the gay gym here in town) "Yeah well they happen to have the best equipment in town, and it it's right by the plantation." "Yeah okay, whatever." You couldn't miss the smirk. The other female at the table, who I didn't know quite as well, was staring at me now. "Well I have a pretty good 'gaydar"'. More stares." "What do you think?" My original inquisitor wanted to know. "Hmmm.. well.. "Don't tell me right now, tell me when we are in the car."

Now most heterosexual guys I know (at least I think they are heterosexual) would usually get pretty defensive at this point. But not the kid. The truth of the matter is, it has never really bothered me when friends, male and female, rip me about my metro sexual characteristics and my gym. My best friend, for instance, is always ripping me about being a closeted homosexual, yet he refuses to leave me alone in a room with his wife. Go figure.

The point is, if I were gay, I would be proud of it, and I sure as hell wouldn't be in the damn closet. I wouldn't be ashamed of who I was, and I sure as hell wouldn't act like it was World War III because someone decided that I was gay, or thought I was. Unlike some of these homophobes out here who will jump through hoops to tell folks that they are not gay. WHO ME? GAY? HOW ABOUT IF I PUNCH YOU STRAIGHT IN THE MOUTH, WOULD YOU THINK I WAS GAY THEN? Ahh sorry dude, I was just trying to get a rise out of you...whoops, poor choice of words.

So anyhooo, my two lady friends are still having fun with me and trying to see if I am Tyler Perry....oh lord did I say that? Tyler, please don't sue me, allegedly supposedly...and all that stuff. "So field do you get naked in the shower? How do you feel with all those eyes on you." "Well I suppose it's kind of like being naked around a bunch of females with a lot less excitement from Mr. Johnson. I mean if I was gay, wouldn't Mr. Johnson at least let me know? I am sure if I was in a locker room filled with naked women Mr. Johnson would let me know. At least I would hope he would." "Okay, just remember _____gaydar is pretty good. "

Lunch is almost over, and we are still on my sexuality probe. I am actually enjoying it at this point. I am talking about my gay friends (I can't believe I just said that, but yes some of my best friends are gay), and other lifestyle issues that would put me squarely in that camp, and one of my guests is imploring me to come out if I am so inclined. I promised her that I will, if I am so inclined, thanked them for their company at lunch, and after a little more small talk, we rolled. Me back to the plantation, and the two ladies to their car to decide the fields sexuality with the assistance of a very good gaydar.

I am sitting in my office thinking about some shit from my past when my cell phone goes off.

It's lunch date number one. We talk some shop (she is an attorney), make a little more small talk, and then I ask her about lunch date number two's gaydar. "Well, what did she say?" I asked, curious now to know the answer. "Oh nothing, honestly field, we didn't even talk about that." I don't believe her, but I don't push it. But I am guessing girlfriend's gaydar is pretty good. Because if it wasn't, I would still be hearing laughter in my ears.

Field are you going

to post about something else besides race, the "O" man, and Hillary just once?

Ahhh, I want to. But sorry, tonight I have a twofer. Why? Because it involves the Ice Queen, the "O" man, and race.

You all know the story. Apparently the Ice Queen darkened up the "O" man for a T.V. commercial, and her campaigned got called on the carpet by some left leaning blogs.

I have posted the pic. Is it much to do about nothing? I bet the Ice Queen thinks it is.

After all, she is just trying to show A-merry-ca what the Kenyan side of the "O" man looks like.

But hey, I am tired of all the racial stuff. I mean is it possible that maybe the picture just happened to be darker, and there was no nefarious intent on the part of the Clinton campaign?

I choose to see the glass as half full. I think the Ice Queen and her peeps were just trying to appeal to African American voters. After all, she is not doing so hot with that group.

Don't worry Ice Queen, if you become President, I am sure you will be the President of all the people. Even the darker ones.