Monday, June 08, 2009

Jeremiah is a bullfrog.

"Get ready for action, don't be astounded We switching positions, you feel surrounded Tell me where you want your gift, girl. Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-II been feenin Wake up in the late night Been dreamin about your loving, girl Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I Don't need candles and cake Just need your body to make...Birthday sex... Birthday sex oohoohoohooh(It's the best day of the year girl)Birthday sex... Birthday sex oohoohoohooh(G-spot g-spot let me hit that g-spot g-spot girl..." "FIELD!!!"

"Field, what the hell is that you are listening? Do you realize that there is a four year old in the back of the car?" "Play it uncle Field, I like it. "

Some background: We are in a rental down in the Sunshine State, the radio is on the first black station I could find, and this little Negro, Jeremiah, or ---whatever his name is-- is singing this crap and corrupting my little niece. Of course, usually I will listen to this garbage, but I had a momentary lapse and forgot about the little one in the back.

"Did you hear what he was saying sweetie?" "Field, why are you asking her that?" "I just want to know what she heard, dear"." Yes uncle Field, he said birthday text, birthday text." "That's it sweetheart; birthday text. The man just wants to text his friend on her birthday."
"Change that station field! I don't even know why you listen to that garbage. I swear the lord didn't give you children for a reason." "Noooo, keep it there uncle Field, I like it".

Right about now I am in full parent mode and I am starting to understand what you parents have had to put up with for all these years. What the hell possessed this record company to promote this kind of song? (That's a rhetorical question. I know why they promote it) Don't they know that there are children out here listening to this stuff? I don't blame Jeremiah, he wants a hit by any means necessary, but the record companies have a greater responsibility. Don't they care if our children become sex obsessed little creatures?

Question: how do you parents keep your kids from listening to this stuff? I will be playing Daddy for the next three weeks or so and I really need to know. It must be really tough when record companies seem to be conspiring against you. I mean the television is bad enough, and these popular songs on the radio these days just adds to the problem.

The problem is, the little rug-rat loves music, and she learns the lyrics to songs faster than her ABC's. She changes the television stations by her lonesome to the video channels and before you know it she is doing Beyonce imitations right in front of the boob-tube. The bigger problem is that I can't say no. "Uncle Field, I want to watch videos." "No, your aunt doesn't like you listening to this stuff." "Please uncle Field"........ "Okay, just this once. But I have to keep the remote." Uncle Field can't take a chance with birthday t-e-x-t coming on.


Max Reddick said...

I stopped listening to mainstream radio years ago. It seems R&B is regressing. There are a number of very talented R&B artists out there who seem to have decided not to depend on their natural talent, but to depend on that old promotional standby--sex sells. Creativity is out the window, and straight, unadulturated raunch is in.

R&B singers have been singing about love and sex for years. However, earlier they creatively and cleverly couched their pleas for sex in their cleverly conceived lyrics. However, now they are not taking a chance that the listener does not get. They straight out ask for what they want.

But people keep buying it so I guess they will continue to put it out.

Anonymous said...

1 word for you :IPOD


Jody said...

Nothing new here.... Al Green, Lets Get It On.... the difference is the videos. They are so ridiculously soft porn, and soft porn on cable is legal.

When my sons were 11 and 8, they brought a playboy magazine home from a friend's house. They brought it to me and asked me to "promise to not get mad" which was our code for I want to talk to you about this but I am scared of how you will react. So, I sat them on either side of me and page by page, went through the magazine. At each naked woman, I asked them, what does this say about who this young woman was? Can you tell what she thinks? What is important to her? No. This is about making women objects. This is how women are viewed by our society, as just an object, to be looked at, for her body, but not her mind. About half way through they wanted to stop. But I said no. We are going to go through the whole thing and we are going to talk about these women....

I am happy to report that both of my sons are adult men who are respectful of women, and neither act like sexual predators. One is happily married and the other has been in a long term relationship.

To answer your question Field, my practice was to talk about it early and often. Talk about sex, talk about how our society promotes consumerism using sex, talk about how sex can and should be an expression of love and caring and tenderness. Talk about how it is something special to share with someone you love. And, talk about protecting yourself when you do have sex from disease and pregnancy. My sons started asking questions at age 6. I answered age appropriately, but I always answered. As a parent, my job was to counter all of the negative crap that was out there in popular culture and keeping silent meant, crap wins.

earlgrey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
earlgrey said...

I don't try to hard to hide stuff from the kiddios. I just explain it to the kid. My oldest, 6, just had her first dance recital. She loves Hip Hop dancing so she is hearing alot of Hip Hop, Rap and R and B in dance class that can have adult situations in it. I worry more about the quality then the content. I just make sure she listens to good stuff at home like Cypress Hill and House of Pain, and Run DMC and a Tribe Called Quest. Although she has lately been singing Big Girls Don't Cry, not the Avalon version, the Fergie one.

It's not just Rap, she loves AC/DC, not safe, "I wanna rock you all night long". I am pretty sure he does not mean dancing. Heck she loves Ray Charles, he is definately not safe. "I got a woman" anyone?

But she is six. She does not understand what they are saying half the time and what it means most of the time. If she does ask me. I tell her. If it is to adult I tell her that to. I am not afraid to deal with tough subjects with her.

I will tell you what I turn off more in the car though. NPR! Kid death stories, Rape in Darfur stories, violence around the world, economic crashes. Explaining to her about sexual mores is much easier then trying to explain murdered children. Curiosity is fine, being scared is not as far as I am concerned.

Anonymous said...

C'mon, Field, I don't expect this weak shyt from you. Say no. Offer an alternative to watch. She is FOUR YEARS OLD and she is running you? It doesn't matter what she hears anyplace else. All you gotta do is say "That's not what we watch in our house."

Will she like it? Naw. That's not the point. She is four. That's why she's got YOU.

MrMarques said...

I don't call this garbage R & B; I mean R & B/Soul tried to make a comeback in the mid 90s. You know, Maxwell, D'Angelo, Michelle N'degeocello (my fave), Eric Benet, Rahsaan Patterson, etc.

But computer generated beats took over. I blame that on the rise of Hip Hop. Hip Hop lyrics and beats became so popular in the mid 90s that R & B was copying it just to remain relevant and sell records.

I don't listen to this new stuff; radio plays the same 15-20 songs all day and there's nothing inspiring. I mean, just compare how you feel when you hear an Earth, Wind and Fire song about love, life, brotherhood, etc. and then a 50 Cent song.

I know the subject is supposed to be R & B, but Hip Hop has made R & B follow a path of simplistic, soul-less trash. Artists will tell us, "don't let TV and music raise yo' kids." Parents should be parents but that doesn't give them an excuse to put trash out there. Parents aren't with their children every minute of the day. Why should a parent have to explain to their 5-year old something of a sexual nature because of something Snoop or Nelly said?

Hip Hop and now R & B are both dead! That stuff ain't REAL R & B; its contemporary black pop. Can't wait for some real R & B! When is that new Maxwell three-CD collection due to drop?

Jean said...

Amen! Anon 11:28 pm

Lola Gets said...

Yeah, Im with Anon want to be the "nice guy" let her have her way, but you gotta be the one running thangs! When my neice came to visit me, I just played my tapes (yes, I know thats old tech!) in my car, and if that wasnt good enough, anything without words, like jazz. Youre from Jamaica, hit her with some reggae - the clean stuff please. You cant go wrong with Bob Marley. Even my friends bi-racial baby - hehe- loves that stuff!

Oh, I have heard that damned bday sex song, and I HATE IT! Arrggghhhhh!!!!


field negro said...

Tough crowd! But you all are right, I have to get a little tougher myself with the little rug rat.

So what of the earlgrey school of thought? Does it work? It sure looks like it worked for Jody.

" don't call this garbage R & B; I mean R & B/Soul tried to make a comeback in the mid 90s. You know, Maxwell, D'Angelo, Michelle N'degeocello (my fave), Eric Benet, Rahsaan Patterson, etc.

But computer generated beats took over. I blame that on the rise of Hip Hop. Hip Hop lyrics and beats became so popular in the mid 90s that R & B was copying it just to remain relevant and sell records."

But will the pendulum ever swing back?

Anonymous said...

We home school, we escape so much of the bullshit!

Blinders Off said...

As far as I am concern the same rules should apply to little ones today...that is age appropriate material for them to listen to and watch.

I had my grandson for a week and he brought his own music. He had about five CD's McDonalds give out with Happy Meals. I do not know if they still have them, but you might want to go in and buy your niece the CD's. The CD's are age appropriate lyrics of current hits song by children.

I enjoyed dancing with him while he was singing the songs. It was a lot of fun.

earlgrey said...


The lousy food at Micky D's notwithstanding, we have one of those CDs and my kids love it too. In fact that is the cd, Kids Bop, that the big kid learned the "big girls" song. :)

Saleema said...

We survived fine without any music channels and are now grown up professionals or on our way to being one. At the time it felt like we were being denied the most basic of things but now I"m thankful to my parents for being strict in that regards.

THe only channels we got to enjoy was the history channel, the nature channels and news. Period.

We watched tv shows once in a while at friends homes. (watched movies at the theatre here and there, the ones that we liked). Any music that touched our ears that we shouldn't have been listening to was when we were with friends.

Around 18 (the age all of us started driving on our own cars) we weren't really interested in listening to trash music anymore. There is clean music out there. No it doesnt' have to be religious music or country music.

Get yourself an IPOD with nice songs and hook it up to your sound system in the car. No commercials either.

kid said...

Guess you have to lock the TV on Disney.You know you're old when Prince is wholesome entertainment and Michael Jackson is something you can't explain to your kids.Used to be the other way around.

Malik said...

Field, we gotta place more responsibility on ourselves. Whenever we hear things that we think are objectionable, we need to call in and let them know, its our responsibility and theirs to listen. They have a special position just for that. And I think its the least we can do. Its a start...

Gregory said...

"Question: how do you parents keep your kids from listening to this stuff?"

Embarrass the shit out of them by singing along and busting a move? After that, I'm out of ideas...

Visibility said...

Two words Uncle Field,

Disco Duck!

Does anyone remember the Disney (I know you hate it) song? Disney had a whole album with Mickey, Donald and maybe Pluto. Anyway, Disco Duck was the bomb. They have age appropriate songs, Uncle Field. They always have. You ain't the only uncle in the world that doesn't want his niece working the pole or the corner!

Mack Lyons said...

"There are a number of very talented R&B artists out there who seem to have decided not to depend on their natural talent, but to depend on that old promotional standby--sex sells. Creativity is out the window, and straight, unadulturated raunch is in."

R&B and Rap (I won't even call some of the stuff that's leaking through the stereo "hip hop"), in their current forms, won't die the same death that disco suffered, but it will become irrelevant. That'll happen when the money that fuels this crap dries up. That means the white kids in the suburbs will have to get tired of "birthday sex" and stop buying the albums. That also means that the ticket sales for the live concerts will have to take a plunge and stay there for a while. I would love to see the current "Pop R&B" be replaced by Eric Benet, Rahsaan Patterson and the like, but that'll take a while.

Eventually, the pendulum will swing back to the desired direction. In the meantime, I enjoy my pretty solid collection of 60s/70s/80s R&B/Funk/Soul while catching the latest contemporary jazz tunes on internet radio.

"C'mon, Field, I don't expect this weak shyt from you. Say no. Offer an alternative to watch. She is FOUR YEARS OLD and she is running you? It doesn't matter what she hears anyplace else. All you gotta do is say "That's not what we watch in our house."

Will she like it? Naw. That's not the point. She is four. That's why she's got YOU."

As far as her four year old tail is concerned, your word is The Last Word. If you say NO, then that's NO. And that's that.

Sandra said...


Sorry about being off topic but I thought you might be interestedin this story.

Mack Lyons said...

By the way, that picture seems to have a rather HUGE dust spot. This happens with DSLR cameras when you change out lenses often. You'd think they'd have the decency to run that picture through Photoshop or Lightroom to knock it on out.

Blinders Off said...


I agree with you about the food at McDonalds :)

It's been years since I had a little one for more than a week and dealing with a short attention span before wanting something else to do. My grandson Kid Bop CDs were a life saver during his visit...and I am going back to no more than a weekend at a time, unless it is an emergency.

Monie said...

Why is it that we always think that what's going on now is so much worse than what went on in the past?

Take a listen to some of Marvin Gaye's stuff like Sexual Healing or Prince.

I really don't think R&B lyrics are any worse than they ever were. And if you think R&B lyrics are bad check out some down home blues like Marvin Sease' Candy Licker. And they actually play that on the radio in the South.

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

She's four. Sorry but she doesn't get to rule the house.

If you say no to videos, it's no. End of story.

Regarding music I suggest iPods or changing the station. There's Disney Radio and while I don't think the Jonas Brothers are even in the same universe as the Jackson 5 or Hanson, they're not singing about birthday sex.

Some R&B music back in the day had suggestive lyrics but it was considered "grown folks" music.

The lyrics today are not clever or even heart felt. Just crass.

I'm an 80s kid. Prince, Madonna and Michael Jackson were the holy trilogy for me. Of course all of them are crazy now (and 51!!) but I still listen to their CDs from the 80s.

The last hip/hop CD I bought was Kanye's College Dropout. I'm done with hip/hop & rap... too old for it.

west coast story said...

It creeps me out that you would play this with a kid in the car. Just sayin'...

Raggy dee Ann said...

Not a mummy and ain't going to be one anytime soon, I get so dissilussioned with the state of our music scene.

Some have mentioned Al Green et al, he had style and wasn't crude, but it's like these lot have taken it to a whole 'nother level and a very low skanky one. Even Teddy Pendergrass had a way of saying it and still his the spot these days. Have you noticed there isn't anything creative about the songs? Just crude illitrate stuff that made me stop listening I guess back in the very early 90's

I tell ya I rather listen to country music these days.

I'm glad none of the nieces and nephews I have listen to that crap. Don't know how their parents have done it. Guess it has a lot to do with what their friends listen to as well.

Still working on the niece who likes a lot of that screaming angry rock stuff and wears dark clothes. A Black goth?????????? I'm not sure whats worse, devil music or crude rap :)

bob said...

It's about making babies. The guy has his line, & then the girl singer with the squeaky double-tracked voice sings, "Ooh, say you love me" about ten times. Well, that's easy enough for the guy to do, he's a horndog who lied about everything else. It's all they play in the sneaker store downtown, not that I find anything sexy about sneakers, but apparently some folks must think it helps push the higher end product.

Black Diaspora said...

If we're "what we eat," a sentiment proposed on another blog entry, then I think I can safely say: "We are what we think," or what we will become as long as we persist in thinking a certain way.

We all know how impressionable kids are. Their little minds soak up their surroundings faster than a ShamWow!© soaks up water.

Knowing this, it behooves us to impress those little minds with those values that will stand the test of time, and contribute to their future success.

Guarding their tender minds should be job one. We should supervise their mental fare as closely as we supervise the quality, quantity, and wholesomeness of the foods we offer up to nourish their bodies.

Assuring that our children are fed the best possible food for their voracious minds will benefit them in several ways:

It will, in later years, guide their thinking, and therefore their actions, form their emotional reactions, and shape their intellect (their ability to think rationally, a skill that's sorely lacking, and desperately needed in our, all-to-often, mindless society).

Use books, the various media, but be as selective in this as you would be in selecting food for their physical nourishment.

Remember, you're impressing more than facts, but also values.

Make sure that they're values that will build successful, and healthful lives.

We owe our kids that as much as we owe them diets that will build strong bones, and healthy bodies.

And when they do come upon that which is mentally unsavory (but enticing), or lack mental nutrients, gently explain why certain things we watch or listen to are unacceptable, or inappropriate, without making it more attractive by our resistance.

I endorse Jody's approach: "My sons started asking questions [about sex] at age 6. I answered age appropriately, but I always answered."

Always answer: it demystifies the "unknown."

But, more importantly, it's our behavior around our kids that will have the greatest, and the most lasting, impact upon their lives.

Our behavior around them will become their most enduring teachers.

Here's a poem of a sort that speaks eloquently to that parental responsibility:

Children Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.
If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.
If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.
If children live with acceptance,
They learn to love.
If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.
If children live with honesty,
They learn truthfulness.
If children live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.
If children live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972/1975 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Anonymous said...

You're an ass. I say that with all due respect. I cannot believe your wife "allows" you to do this with your niece. It evidences she's your doormat (no surprise) or doesn't care about the child as much as one would, well, if one DID. How can you be an adult male and discover the difficulty of rearing kids in this society only now??! And with all that you know and blog about (e.g., Killadelphia), you CONTINUE to play the song with the baby in range? WTF???!!!!

Rant over.

Interesting part coming: my Black friends who parent lament how rich they've made WHITE "artists" because their music was sufficiently catchy and lyrics unoffensive enough for these parents' homes and children. Said Black parents refused to "buy Black," as they refused to filthy up their homes and children with the vile language of Black acts. These friends also understood what that meant re: videos and TV. Of course, the unintended consequence also led to innudating their children with white faces and standards of attractiveness. Of course, that makes many of these friends sad. Nevertheless, they are CLEAR about what is NOT okay (unlike you, Field).

Playing vile music in the presence of a four-year-old is HOUSE NEGRO behavior.

field negro said...

"It creeps me out that you would play this with a kid in the car. Just sayin'..."

It scares me too, but don't call DHS on me just yet. Read the post again. I totally forgot. I am used to rolling solo. You and anon. 6:39AM are right, that would qualify as HN behavior. :(

And thanks for all your suggestions about the Disney and McDonald's tapes and CDs, etc. But she has all of that stuff. "Hip Hop Harry", you name it. She came here with damn near a whole suitcase full of that crap. And we try to keep all the televisions in the house on all the cartoon and kid friendly channels when she is around.(Mrs.Field studied this stuff for weeks)But it's not doing any good, the little one still wants to watch the video channels and non kid friendly stuff.

Hey, some of you made some good points about becoming our parents. You are right, some of the stuff that they used to play back in the day was pretty raunchy.

Hell some of those Southern Blues songs are pretty out there as well. "I'm a lick you where I miss you"? Still, the crap they play for R&B today....I don't know,it just seems like there is more of it.

And Lola, the fact that you are still pushing a whip with a tape deck tells me that you have still not changed cars yet. :)

Anonymous said...

Field, my beloved g'daughter died from a particularly vicious and fast-acting cancer almost two years ago. She was 12 yrs, 6 months, 2 days old. This, however, is not my point. I'm just saying it because I am still dealing with it.

My point is this: about 3 to 4 months before she became ill, she wanted us to go to a concert at a local music school where her BFF played in an almost all-girl band (bass and drums were boys; lead and rhythym guitar as well as lead singer were girls. My g'daughter's BFF was percussionist (tambourine, maracas, etc) and keyboardist, abd back-up singer. This particular band was made up of 12 and 13 yr old kids. It was fun watching them - they really had amazing stage presence! Their first two numbers were sort of forgettable...maybe Uno or Green Day or somesuch. The 3rd piece....jesus god..."House of the Rising Sun." No shit. I thought, self, wtf. This is a world-weary, deeply regretful song. When sung by a female, it is the song of a prostitute. The kids sang it so innocently, it was almost sweet (if you didn't know the back story).

Okay - having survived that, I settled in for the last number. Which turned out to be....wait for it..."Hotel California". I cannot begin to describe the cognitive dissonance experienced by hearing 12 and 13 yr old girls sing about "pretty, pretty boys" or "sweet summer sweat", followed by the line, "some dance to rember, some dance to forget." WTFF (I thought to myself) do these children have to remember yet in their young lives, let alone what they might have to forget, unless they were abused.

I don't know, kid. I wish you the very best w/ the 4 yr old. I like Jody's take, though. I think the truth is always best - WHEN the child can understand what that truth is. I think Jody rocks as a mom, but I doubt her kids were 4 at the time of her lesson. Anyway - best of luck, and, please, keep on keepin' on!
Sarah Deere

field negro said...

Sarah,I am so sorry to hear of your loss.But thanks for that story,that was all that.

uptownsteve said...

This is why God made Ipods.

Get yourself a car adapter and docking station.

Load your unit up with Keyshia Cole, Kym, Robin Thicke if you're into contemporary R&B or Alexander O'Neal, Eloise Laws, Chaka Khan or Michael Franks for us over 40 types.

Then look at the little one and say what my dad used to say when he was listening to Nat King Cole and Dinah Washington..

"Now THAT's music."

alicia banks said...

excellent truths fn!

do you recall that mtv originally refused to play any black music/videos?

michael jackson and rick james sued..

until the early 80s, music was primarily still racially segregated...

when mtv's integration began with pop and rap, that is when the tipper gores sprung into action to ban lyrics and genres that had been in rotation in urban radio playlists for decades...

why?...beacuse white kids were suddenly buying the same lyrical poisons...they RUSHED to keep black music away from white kids...

now 19 yrs later the lyrics are more toxic than ever...
real music with melodies and meaningful lyrics are far too rare...and any xxx song can be heard on the radio...racy music is no longer restricted to adult consumers...

now..ALL of the kids are reflecting the genocidee/sexism/thuggery/drugs from such musical poison

pre-k babies bump and grind and spit lewd lyrics before they learn primary colors/abc's

many baby boys are whizzes at play station/nintendo...but cannot hold pencils or books...

lil wayne has 0 talent and 0 messages in his music/image/stray babies ...yet he rules all awards/sales....shame

when i was 6 my fav tv show was sesame street (i am 45 and still love it)

when i poll 6 yrs old, their fav shows are csi/106 and park(videos)



Anonymous said...

Sorry to be a pest. This is Anon. @ 6:49 a.m. again.

Here's the -- okay, probably hysterical, but, nevertheless -- truth of what you're doing, my man: planting seeds of destruction in a beautifully innocent, pure, girl child. THIS is why and how middle class folks end up with low(ered)-expectation havin' children! You and the rest of your/my ilk can shake heads while watching You Tube videos of nihilistic, oversexualized, nearly dehumanized children. But, if we don't realize how it starts? OURS will be the next generation of lowlies.

I mentored; I also have nieces and nephews. I -- very much like the adults who parented me -- couldn't give a CARE about what the children "like" or "want." When you give them your choice or no choice? Trust me when I tell you, EITHER CHOICE will often be better for them over the long haul!

Example 1: I would only play classical music by Black artists during one segment of life/time as a mentor. I favored Kathleen Battle and the classical stylings of Wynton Marsalis, as well as their joint CD. My mentee and goddaughter hated it. Fine; I chose to drive in silence. No surprise that they hated that more. And yet? They developed the art of conversation OR suffered through the classical music. One evening, mentee asked that I put the classical music on. I was THRILLED. I asked her why after complying; she said "it makes me sleepy." Is that what I wanted her to take away from these great talents? NOPE. But, never let perfection get in the way of good enough!

Example 2: Same mentee (poor abused child). TV watching issues. She wanted BET/MTV. I refused, selecting Star Trek: TNG. She refused. Okay, we'll watch PBS or a Nature Channel. Or nada. It's amazing how much she dug ol' Star Trek that summer.

Sorry to be long-winded. As one who has had a few guilty music and TV pleasures? I know that in the presence of children, what I like -- not even NEED, merely LIKE, mind you -- must take a back seat to the important job at hand: protecting the innocent, doing good (vs. harm), preserving the entity.

Even when dealing with "hardcore" kids? Your difference can be their sanity, even when they balk and complain. Same mentee, 15 years after we met, sought me out after being released from jail. I set her up in a tiny, modest apartment near me, hoping she could get a handle on a normal, law-abiding life. It was too little, too late (she was a ward of the state since she was 3; she's now 26). My experiment failed. Still: she understood that I represented normalcy and sanity and for a few months, she got the opportunity to figure out how to try and live like the rest of us.


Aeryn said...

My ex and I were driving some years ago, with his 3 nieces in the backseat, all about under the age of say, 12. Janet Jackson's song "All For You" came on...I can't remember all the exact lyrics, but I do remember them singing along to "got a nice package(?) alright, guess I'm gonna have to ride it all night.." or something to that effect. Next thing I knew there was silence. Their lil butts were still singing along. My ex and I reached for the on/off button at the same time, he just beat me to it. We were at a stop light and we turned around and we asked them "Do you know what she was singing about?" Sad thing is, I think they did. They got quiet and we had a talk with them about lyrics, videos etc.

Thing is, when they were with us, we never let them watch videos (BET, MTV). But it was the opposite of when they were home and could listen to or watch practically anything (had a big argument in the video store over why I would not rent Belly, yeah right). We were big on Discovery Channel, the History Channel things like that. We were the cool aunt and uncle to his nieces, but they know what they could get away with and what they couldn't. The JJ song, I admit was a slip, but after that they knew riding with us, they either got some gospel or the smooth jazz station. Oddly enough, they never complained. Probably because they knew when they got home, my ex's brother (their dad) would let them listen (and gyrate-the horror!) to anything they wanted.

Today they are beautiful, well balanced college (bound) young ladies. Very respectful, with wonderful manners. I do know that we can shelter them for only so long. My 2 year old grandson knows "Shawty got low, low, low, low, low...." with her apple bottom jeans! But I got time on work on him (and believe me, I will) he's only 2!

alicia banks said...


when i was 6, my fav singers were the jackson 5

soulja boy is their god today:

he sings about "super manning hos" = bodily fluids post sex that make a sheet adhere to the back of a girl like a cape...


alicia banks said...

there is a difference between lewd/race/raunchy and just plain raw narsty porn set to music

the lyrics even without videos today are XXX rated


alicia banks said...


i love country music

always have

because the lyrics are sheer clean poetry


Jody said...

"Uncle Field, I want to watch videos." "No, your aunt doesn't like you listening to this stuff." "Please uncle Field"........ "Okay, just this once.

Field, why are you setting Mrs. Field up to be the bad guy?

You are the adult and I promise she will not love you less for providing her with the discipline she needs, as well as the love you so obviously are giving her as well.

uptownsteve said...

Black folks, do not let corporate radio dictate what music you listen to.

There is a plethora of young innovative black artists out here making beautiful vibrant music.

Aaaron, Sky, Brian McKnight, D'Angelo, Erykah BAdu, Keyshia Cole, Kaci Brown, MeShell Ndegeocello, Wyclef Jean.......

It's all out there for you...all you have to do is look.

It's never just "one way" people.

Jaddadalos said...

So relevant for me today. 1st period. 9th grader. Walked in class singing this song LOUDLY. I don't know this song. I don't listen to music on the radio. When another student said (matter of factly), "Oh, she's singing that Birthday Sex song," I crossed my eyes, dropped my mouth open and stared at her. She was confused by my shock. Like, "What?"

Yo. Culture in decline, indeed.

BlackStocking said...

At our home there is no watching or listening to mind-rotting music.

Which means we have some very corny black kids- they are into Shirley Bassey, disco, and electronica/ drum and bass.

The oldest has an Ipod with like 20 songs- Shirley Bassey, Aqua, and other harmless stuff. She can't wait to get some LifeScapes CD for the summer.

As parents, uncles, aunts, granparents and concerned adults we must say no to listening to filth.

Under no circumstances can we allow our children to watch most of the music videos that are mae today. I shake my head in dismay when I see us with small kids in the car subjecting them to negative music. Garbage in = Garbage out.

Is it no wonder that gangsta/pimp cool culture is being practiced by kindergartners? Or that I see young teen girls- 13, 14, 15, dropping "it" when any guy pulls up near the bus stop playing the beats? We are killing ourselves, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I will not surrender my children to this madness known as "today's black culture." And neither should you.

alicia banks said...

ditto fn

i still spend money on music by real artists

the problem is too many kids have parents who let them listen to radio and tv unchecked...

and real artists are rarely ever in rotation like soulja boy and lil wayne

frequency + free access = genocide in syncopation

Kathy said...

I developed lesson plans for students on global hip hop that don't use (for the most part) foul language, and rap about injustice, peace, corruption, stereotypes, etc., so our students can be exposed to the positive power and empowerment that hip hop can deliver, and that it is not only about sex, disrespecting women, glorifying gratuitous violence, money, etc. I hope more teachers will use global hip hop in their classrooms as an antidote to the crap their kids heae, and to teach them about what is going on in the rest of the world. Also, global hip hop is fantastic musically, as well.

OT- Time to update your Killadelphia feature, Mr. Field! Three more dead in SW Philly last night.

uptownsteve said...



Meezie said...

What Jody said! How is that good for your marriage and the child's relationship with her auntie???!

I agree with earlier post: you, my Field, are an ass. And the womanist in me cannot help but point out the simultaneous damage inflicted by you upon TWO females (a girl and a woman) for the sake of YOUR male ego. And we wonder why certain ones of us who should know and do better don't: egotism, selfishness, comfort. Jeez. I may hate you now. :o(

ch555x said...


I kept wondering who performed that song with the Autotuned "I-I-I" sound. I've been trying to listen to hip-hop/R&B radio stations lately after a several year hiatus...same format/different artists.

The funny part is about most of the songs being played have to use Auto-Tune, sounding like a cheap version of the Roger Troutman/Zapp sounds of the '80s. Instead of simple sound effects, its used for "singers" who can't carry a tune to sound pitch perfect...LMAO!

Granted, lyrics to songs in the R&B genre haven't always been children-friendly. I just can't get into today's version. It seems over-sexed and uncreative. No comment on hip-hop. I got burned out of it during the mid-'90s...

Whitney B. said...


Interesting blog. Must be hard taking care of a four y-o for 3 weeks, especially with no personal experience on parenting. This is not something I would have or would take on, even though I raised by bro' until he was five.

Interesting posts, lots of good advice.

What I found with my bro' is that he didn't have a clue what stuff meant, he just liked tunes and dancing. He was a dancing fiend! He danced to Sesame St, Mr. Rogers, Jimmy Hendrix, Lovin' Spoonful, Ray Charles, Burning Speer, didn't matter about the lyrics, it was all about the beat. I don't think wee ones understand the lyrics, nor could they care. It might be our undue influence that corrupts them here.

I remember my brother memorizing a rock song, but he had changed the "dirty" parts to some other words because he didn't comprehend the lyrics. He had to make the song sensical to him, so that's what he did.

My grandmother told me of a little boy in church who sang the words "Jesus is sneaking around Humboldt Park" (a park in Chicago), for the song "Jesus is Seeking You With Humble Heart". See, that's what kids do.

I think too many parents today are way too protective and preventing their kids from learning and growing through kidhood. This means listening to music which may not be appropriate, but if they don't know what's being said, what's the harm? Swearing stuff is another matter, 'cause kids do love those cuss words. They must be bad since kids don't even know what they mean but it's one of the first things they pick up.

My two cents........Whit

Today is the first day of my initiation into seniorhood. I am 55 today and proud of it!

Anonymous said...

You dropped the ball big time, FN.

I realize that relatives are there to teach my kids the things I don't want them to know, but you oughta wait until she's way older.

I have impressionable boys so I made the impression that there will be no mysogynic or racially derogatory lyrics in our house.

I asked them if they would talk to their mom or grandmom in those terms? The reply was "not unless I had a death wish".

We did discuss why those types of lyrics were not cool.

Just saying that you have to make the rules, I really can't remember the last time BET was on in our house and Bob owns the local NBA team.

I do feel for you though. Kinda sounds like she's 4 going on 40.......

Anonymous said...

I think most of the music in the mainstream is terrible and has someone said in an earlier post, a lot of the music is just copied. I was watching a documentary about the Clarke Sisters the other day and Twinkle who was the songwriter for the group would take something from mainstream music like Stevie Wonder's Master Blaster and wrote the song and music for you Made My Day which went along the lines of Reggae music. She mixed traditional gospel music with pop and it worked. She did took a few notes from Master Blaster and created something of her own and that is fine. She did not flat out copy his music, but used it as inspiration.

Where is the creativity? I mean you will also have songs about sex, but the music is just bad and lacks creativity. Now parents will have to decide what they want their children to listen. My advice is to expose them to different types of music from R&B to World music. They can even listen to country music where the guy is singing how his wife cheated on him and how she took all his money, time, and the damn dog. Country music like blues have stories to tell. Expose them to classical music and the opera, music from South Africa, Brazil, Cuba, etc.

I am going to write this little story and some of you will be angry, but such as life. I just left this cafe called the Grey Dog in NYC to get some coffee and a muffin and began walking down the street when I heard a toddler sing from the top of his lungs Ode to Joy by Beethoven. He was sitting in his stroller while his dad was pushing him along and singing. I thought it was the cutest thing, but another thought came to mind that his parents expose to a lot of things because he had to hear the music from somewhere. I am going to mention that the father and son were white, but we have to make a great effort to expose our children to other things outside of our comfort. And before anyone comments, there are plenty of talented musicians out there such as Naturally 7 which I heard an interview about the group on NPR and it is a very good a cappella group. They trained their voices to sound like musical instruments such as drums, flute, bass guitar, and baritone horn. We have other options.

field negro said...

Bad field Negro!;( But did anybody read the post? Okay,let's try this again: I FORGOT SHE WAS IN THE CAR FOR A MOMENT!!!Sheesh,you Negroes I swear.You all are starting to sound like the Mrs. now.

Mrs.Field is staying home most days with the little one and I think she is taking her to the Camden Aquarium today. In any case,I am guessing that she will deprogram the little one and remove all her bad habits passed on by her uncle Field.:)

alicia banks said...

wb: are way more saavy about sex and lyrics and life in general than we adults presume...

i have to search the internet to keep up with the lyrics they catch immediately and know by heart...

the alcohol auto tune song is:
jamie foxx and t-pain
"blame it (on the alcohol)"

roger troutman and rosie gaines and peter frampton etc...did it much all old school rocks!!!

most kids have lost their souls
so they are incapable of real soul music
that is why they sample so often
and compose new tunes so rarely

there is a difference between

we have always had racy music
resrticted to adults/clubs/juke joints etc

now we have xxx lyrics on the radio and tv...therein lies the toxic difference

i hate music radio...i would die without cds! i play luther vandross and barry white and nina simone and nancy wilson ETC...daily!
they stay in my mixes...


alicia banks said...


re lil wayne = superstar

he makes more money in music and wins more music awards than any other artist today = insane to me!!!

he is making his own village of babies as he wins grammies for musical trash

he has 2 young female idols pregnant at the same time

EzMun said...

I don't think the issue is whether we have such songs on the radio like "Birthday Sex." It's about age-appropriate options for younger children. I agree with Jody's version of parenting that involves talking about things early and often in age-appropriate ways. But there is a limit to this.

I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. They have NO business listening to a song like "Birthday Sex." I can't even justify this one degree. There isn't a way to explain to children that young what it is they are listening to. Radio Disney all the way (I'm fortunate to have satellite radio). And TV-wise, for now, the TV stays locked on Disney Channel, their kid-friendly DVDs, or a universal program like a sports game (they aren't sports fans).

"Birthday Sex" is a relevant song for certain people... persons over the age of 18 who can consent to same. It's not about the song, more about who gets access to the song and similar songs. And that's where the parenting begins.

Anonymous said...

Hey Fat Girl!
Yeah, I called ya Fat,
Look at me, I'm skinny,
Never stopped me from gettin'Busy
I'm a Freak, I like the girls with the Boom,
I once got busy in a Burger King Bathroom,
And Girls, I'm really bein sincere, cause in the 69' my humpty nose will tickle your rear...

Try explainin THAT to a 7 yr old...

Finally sumthin we can agree on...


uptownsteve said...


You ever listen to Ozzy Osbourne's "Suicide Solution"?

Catchy tune with a message.

Check it out.

kathy said...

Well, I don't think you can really shield children from popular music, they will hear it and get it from everywhere, I don't really censor music in my house, I do talk a lot to the kids about the lyrics though.
I get more worried about the stuff they do on the internet than music lyrics, and I also constantly try to remind myself of what I felt like as a child and teen. That helps.

west coast story said...

Doesn't anyone listen to jazz? I'm talking the real stuff, not that smooth stuff. We are fotunate to have a world class and world reknowned jazz club in Oakland, Yoshi's. I have taken my cousin and god son to Sunday matinee shows. First, they are comparatively inexpensive and it's a chance to introduce them to real high octane talent like Kenny Garrett, Roy Hargrove, Pharoah Saunders, and others. They loved it. Even my cousin who isn't that into jazz really enjoyed the live performance.

Find a local jazz festival that features mostly real jazz, the good stuff. Or look for jazz concerts that come to your town. There are only a few of the great jazz legends left so give your kids bragging rights to say they saw McCoy Tyner, Wayne Shorter, Roy Haynes, and some others live in concert.

west coast story said...

I have a friend who has taken his three-year old twice to Yoshi's and now the kid begs to go.

Anonymous said...

I was listenin to Sabbath when you were just a gleam in yo' Baby Daddy's eyes....
and while we're doin requests check out "One in a Million" by ummm can't remember the group, why dontcha Google that S*** while you're usin up that free internet at the public library...

No offense,

Deacon Blue said...

I totally get how easy it is to forget about the child, even when you've been a parent for a few years. Mostly, I keep pretty neutral CDs in the player in the car, but occasionally, I find that there is a underground rap CD with plenty of swearing, or a Red Hot Chili Peppers track playing that has some bad words in it.

Mainly, it's about just keeping the hard stuff away from the kids mostly (they'll still get exposed to it when they aren't around you, sadly, but still...minimize, minimize, minimize...) and putting on headphones for the stuff they shouldn't hear.

In this case, it's all about turning off the radio and moving to CDs (I assume you've got a player in the car) and putting stuff on at home that you may not want to listen to as much, knowing that it's better for the kid to do so.

I know there are a lot of old school R&B tunes and other genres with sexual overtones, but some are more subtle than others, and can go right over a kid's head. Birthday SEX is kind of hard to miss, though... LOL ...not as tame as "Afternoon Delight" or something from the 70s or something like "I think I'm turning Japanese"

uptownsteve said...

"Doesn't anyone listen to jazz? I'm talking the real stuff, not that smooth stuff."

A lot of people do but you'd never know it from the posts here.

That "smooth stuff" is merely pop instrumentals.

Here in the DC area we have clubs like Ramshead in Annapolis, the Half Note in Lanham and Blues Alley in DC where the living masters like Ahmad Jamal, Tyner, Ellis Marsalis, Sonny Rollins, Hank Jones and Dave Holland regularly hold court.

And contrary to the prevailing opinion here, the young generation is producing it's share of new innovators and expressionists who keeping the flame and jazz tradition alive.

It's all out there for you.

You just have to look.

Whitney B. said...

A little comment about Disney.

Disney's Cheetah Girls, one example, are not exactly what I would want a child or grandchild of mine to admire. They are a 'tween trashy as far as I'm concerned and some of the "Disney" lyrics are borderline trashy, if not blatantly trashy.

There is a lot of 'tween music out there that little ones really go for and much of it is filtered and not trashy.

Just because the name is Disney does not mean wholesome.

vdubjb said...

ha ha, I thought I was the only one that was appalled. Although it's catchy as hell. First date sex is the remix version btw. Wait till your coworkers hear you singing along to OJ Da Juice Man's "Make da trap say AY!" Nothing like sitting in a midtown office, rapping about selling drugs, lol.

FlyNMy40s said...

uptownsteve said...
Load your unit up with Keyshia Cole, Kym, Robin Thicke if you're into contemporary R&B or Alexander O'Neal, Eloise Laws, Chaka Khan or Michael Franks for us over 40 types.<<<<<

Excuse me but I listen to Keyshia Cole, Robin Thicke, and Lil Wayne but I also love Alexander O'Neil, Earth Wind and Fire, and RUN-DMC. Geez, I wonder if some of you over 40's look as "old" as he music you prefer, LOL!! Yeah, probably!!!

FN, I really wish some of these folks bitchin at you for an innocent mistake would just take a midol and just chill!!

alicia banks said...

i love jazz vocalists
they stay in my mixes

nnenna freelon
liz wright
marlena shaw
carmen mccrae
billie holiday
ella fitzgerlad
sarah vaughn
nancy wilson (my # 1!!!)
etta james
etta jones

i just bought chrisette michelle
love her!

and sade is in the studio after 9 yrs now!..yay!

on a similar note, a man i adore is also my fav music journalist:
steven ivory

he penned a classic column on billy paul's "me amd mrs. jones"

a timeless and tactful tune about infidelity/endless love etc...


alicia banks said...

like my parents

i also love instrumental jazz:

international sweethearts of rhythm
george howard
stanley clarke
quincy jones - vintage
george benson
lee tittenour
larry carlton
hubert laws
bobbi humphrey
deep forest
classical for kids etc

i share ALL genres of music with adult/child students

except gangsta rap/heavy metal-
those are not "music" in my book

MOST of the singers/composers i expose them to are NEVER in rotation on tv/radio


Whitney B. said...

Alicia B,

Bessie Smith
Maxine Sullivan
Natalie Cole
Lena Horne
Ethel Waters
Koko Taylor
Nina Simone

Billie Holiday is my #1, followed by Maxine Sullivan.

The wee ones could dance up a storm to any one of these artists and not even realize that most of 'em are old folks or dead.

alicia banks said...

ditto wb!

classical music and real melodies/vocal notes sound like magic to kids bred on loud sorry rap

my students love:
"mr. melody"
natalie cole

my entire fm career has been dedicated to female vocalists:

"Banks' program combines the voices of Dinah Washington and Billie Holiday with tribal songs, fictional readings, erotica, and political discussions. It is the politics which have caused a stir..." THE WASHINGTON BLADE 2/25/1994

"Alicia Banks drops a weekly bomb fused with consciousness and sister melodies..." HUES MAGAZINE 11/1996

"Since 1989, Alicia has been heating up the airwaves with her eyebrow raising program...Although the show is packed with great voices of the past and present, there's room for deep talk...Banks is now having the last laugh with her success..." ATLANTA MAGAZINE 10/1993


FlyNMy40s said...

Bobbi Humphrey is my girl and not just because I played jazz flute too for 20+ years!!

And I really hope Chrisette Michelle releases a jazz album one day!!

alicia banks said...

ditto fly

i see chrisette and jill scott both becoming great jazz divas someday!


Crecilla said...

Hello Mr. Field,

SOLUTION: You HAVE to turn the radio, even if she thinks the song is saying birthday text. Just bring plenty of CDs...Kirk Franklin, Mary Mary, Jill Scott, Mary J. Blige, Anthony Hamilton, John Legend, etc. Lyric-friendly music cuts down on the "begging and pleading" to listen to songs that are inappropriate. Don't let her watch videos...let her watch Sponge Bob & Dora the Explorer. Then let her read, color, jump rope, play with her dolls, etc.

Whitney B. said...

Crecilla (beautiful name),

Well said. Folk singers really entertain kids, too.

Reading and coloring are so important to kids. Kids love to be read to, especially when they get a favorite memorized....that's when they start reading for themselves.

Four is a great age. Somewhat understanding of reason, over the sass backs and crying jags of two's and three's. Asking very funny questions and making many peculiar observations.

Special time for a child because it's also the beginning of their memories. My 4th year was heavenly as I spent most of it with my grandmother and aunt.

Alicia B,

Are you still broadcasting?

alicia banks said...

i only dj for intimate friends these says

i did my last fm show in cali at kpfa/kfcf/kpfb in 1999

i left it all at the ht of the neocon takeover to keep my liberal soul in tact and become a dual educator...

but, i may be broadcasting again soon online

we will soon see,

BluTopaz said...

Raising (or even just babysitting) young ones now in an over- sexualized world, that's a tough one Field. I grew up in the 70's; so my musical tastes went from Peter Frampton's live album (courtesy of my big bro), Sly Stone, soft rock am radio, whoever was on Soul Train to Schoolhouse Rock (i still know what a conjunction is and how bills are passed because of that show).

In the 80's juicy fruit and in between the sheets were considered naughty, but Mtume and the Isley Bros. are musical legends who have influenced others for decades. They didn't just lay nasty lyrics over a beat and called it a day, and who is this Jeremiah little boy going to influence positively. I heard that Birthday Mess song for the 1st time few weeks ago and tried to convince myself he wasn't saying what it sounded like.

grinder said...

I really only have three words to add: Saint John Coltrane.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

My take on music today is that the music industry is not looking for talent anymore, they're just looking to sale and make a profit off of sleazy lyrics. The excuse they use is sex and violence sales. That might be true but it also corrupts the mind. Some of the stuff I hear to today sometimes makes my ears burn red and I cringe inside at a lot of the lyrics. Anyone can use vulgarity. There is no talent in that. Some of the music they make now is very degrading. However, I fault the heads of the music industry for that. The reason I fault them is because that type of music wouldn't be produced if they weren't asking for and demanding it.

The days when quality of singing meant harmonizing, melody, tone, and subtleness are long gone. It's all triple X rated now. Granny is down-to-earth, but hey...I'm not into pornography. Sometimes it's not what you do but how you do it.

Granny has a variety of taste in music. I grew up in a musically inclined family. Both of my grandfathers played instruments, my father could sing, and so could my brothers, sisters, and I. Music was introduced to us at an early age. One side of my ancestors was into the blues and the other was into jazz. Me, I like a variety of music. I guess, because I took a general music class and was introduced to a variety of music that help me acquire a taste for different genres.

alicia banks said...


very cool

you are truly multi gifted!
i am impressed...

i played piano and clarinet as a child...started singing and djing ....then academia and radio consumed me for decades at 12...

i still hope to own my own jazz club to croon in someday...


DuchessDee said...

FN, I have 4 girls: 16, 14, 12, 8. No matter how much I try to keep them sheltered the outside world burst in. They will hear it on the school bus, at lunch time, playing sports, over their cousins, darn. The harder I try to protect them the more the outside try to get in.

Well, I listen to alot of
Phyllis Hyman
Roberta Flack
Erykah Badu
Teena Marie
Angela Bofill
Regina Belle
Jeffrey Osbourne
Isley Bros.
Anita Baker
Lauren Hill
Mariah Carey
Chrisette Michelle
And other singers I can actually sing

My husband loves rock, alternative, old rap, etc.
So hopefully they will appreciate good music and understand it.

Just be selective while you still have her attention. said...

Field... you are a softie when it comes to the pre-schoolers.... awwwwww.

Remember when I said that you probably took your lunch to work in a Spidey lunchbox...*LOL*

See, I wasn't too far off!!!

GrannyStandingforTruth said...


"One in a Million" wasn't sung by a group it was sung by Larry Graham. Larry Graham used to run track before he hooked up with Sly Stone. He could run too.

alicia banks said...

ditto granny:

i love lg
and he was the cutest man in sly's band too!

just be my lady
was great by lg too


GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Here a link for all of you jazz fans that you can listen to some jazz for free. Edmond was my cousin.

Edmond played in Louis Armstrong's band and with a number of jazz greats. In addition, he played in two movies with Armstrong called, "High Society" and "Satchmo the Great". Another one of my cousins performed on vaudeville in the Rabbit Foot Minstrels and performed with people like Bessie Smith and Ma Rainey. He, also, played in the Sugar Johnnie's New Orleans Creole Orchestra, Bunk Johnson, and Evan Thomas, Kid Ory, and a few others at the notorious Storyville.

Fats Domino (Antoine) used to come to our house whenever he was in town for some red beans and rice and always made sure that we were his guest at concerts. Fats, Armstrong, Kid Ory, Johnny St. Cyr and our families went back to slavery days and are connected through family. Through Fats, I met Chuck Berry, Frankie Lymon, Laverne Baker, and a few others and got to observe them as regular people and listen to some of their struggles. I know, I know all of that is real old school.

alicia banks said...

wow granny

very cool!...i love them all

i love all of the duets satchmo did with ella...



uptownsteve said...


You are the bomb!

Edmond Hall was one of the New Orleans reed masters.

I remember my Grandpa used to play "Sleepy Time Girl" and "Caravan" by the Edmond Hall Quintet with Teddy Wilson when I was a kid.


west coast story said...

Granny: Great info and thanks for the link. Old school is good school.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Edmond had four brothers that played in bands too. His dad Edward was a musican and had a band called Onward Brass Band. Once each state sent a band to New York to represent each state, and Edward's band won first prize. His uncles played instruments and in bands.

Mostly all of the New Orlean's jazz musicians back then grew up together, were connected through family, some of them were kinfolks or In-laws or childhood friends. Our families go back to slavery days on the Plantations. Playing musical instruments goes all the way back to our ancestors who played music during that era and would pass it on to their descendants. They used to play on homemade instruments. I can remember the first time I ever heard one of my uncles play a harmonica and I wanted to learn how to play it. Instruments were not my forte though. .

Edmond had four brothers that played in bands too. His dad Edward was a musican and had a band called Onward Brass Band. Once each state sent a band to New York to represent each state, and Edward's band won first prize. His uncles played instruments and in bands.

Mostly all of the New Orlean's jazz musicians back then grew up together, were connected through family, some were kinfolks, or In-laws or childhood friends. Our families go back to slavery days on the Plantations. Playing musical instruments goes all the way back to our ancestors who played music during that era and would pass it on to their descendants.

They used to play on homemade instruments. I can remember the first time I ever heard one of my uncles play a harmonica and I wanted to learn how to play it. Instruments were not my forte though.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

sorry about the repetition that wasn't intentional.

Dafonzarelli said...

I'm chimming in here late. First off I read your blog quite a bit and was very interested on your view of this song. With that said...

I have a 2 and 3 yr old. They love the cartoons and all the nursery rhymes and kiddie stuff of the like. Its amazing how just 2 or 3 view of the "adult music" dents their minds.

Thing is you can not put them in a shell of only Mickey Mouse, Seasame street and Dora. That can be as harmful as having them listen to all "grown folk music".

I think you were right on with the you can watch, I will take the remote. I like that because you know immediately when its time to turn the channel. I don not think its wrong to let them watch it as long as you are there with them and monitoring to make sure it does not get to sexually gratifying.

I lisen to a lot of different music with my children. They love singing and dancing so that keeps them occupied and burns off their energy. Plus Kids do get tired of the kiddie stuff at times too. PLUS we as adults do not want to watch that ALL THE TIME.

My childrens favorite song is "no one" by Alicia Keys, they can sing-a-long the whole song, WITH FEELING TOO - lol. All the kids care about is that your are there BONDING with them. If you are a responsable parent you will not expose them to the wrong things.


Lynne from Brooklyn said...

"Black love is Black wealth" Nikki Giovanni wrote that and it's still so true. When we truly love we think about the next generation and the whole Black family. Then we behave accordingly.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

I was sitting here laughing to myself, thinking about how when I was young some of the music we played the old folks considered it the devil's music. My grandmother once told me that her parents thought the same thing about their music too.

Nevertheless, music now is not music, it's porno and the videos they make with the music nowadays, well, do the females believe that they have be practically naked to make a music video? Sometimes their video look like an imitation of a strip joint show.

FlyNMy40s said...

alicia banks said...
very cool
you are truly multi gifted!

I had to do something in those pageants because I sure as hell can't sing, LOL!!!

I figured you played an insturment based on your background and how cultured you are. Folks 'round here are complaining about music, but how many of them REQUIRE their kids play an instrument or two? How many of them have PLAYED an instrument?

westernglowrod67 said...

Alicia looks like she was beat with an ugly stick one too many times!

It looks like someone squeezed your titties and popped your eyeballs out!

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

I guess even 72 year old grandmother's are not even safe from being tasered in traffic tickets stops. Smh!

Black Diaspora said...

Granny, this one is especially for you.

Speaking of Ol' School, and kids mimicking what they hear on television and radio, check this out!

I couldn't resist. All others are invited, as well.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Black Diaspora:

LOL! That was cute, I am saving it to show my little grandbabies.

Jody said...

Granny.... surprise, surprise... that 72 year old grandmother getting tasered happened just outside of Austin, Texas.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...


My first thought when I read about it was what if she would have been wearing a pace maker. I just can't relate to them tasering senior citizens.

Black Diaspora said...

"I guess even 72 year old grandmother's are not even safe from being tasered in traffic tickets stops."

Here's the test: Would the arresting officer have tasered his own grandmother?

I don't think so!

This is so inappropriate given the woman's age, and the nature of the offense--a traffic stop for crying out loud!

Had the woman been young, beautiful, and voluptuous, would the arresting officer have acted so hastily to arrest this women?

We'll never know for sure, but I think it would have played out a whole lot differently.

alicia banks said...


do not hate me and my eyes because we are beautiful

where is your photo?

Sammy said...

Denyce Graves
Jessye Norman
Kathleen Battle
Ann Peeble
Wynton Marsalis
Nat King Cole
Sarah Vaughan
Robert McFerrin
Martina Arroyo
Dionne Warrick
Ella Fitzgerald
William Warfield
Shirley Scott
Shirley Verrett
Paul Robeson
Leontyne Price
Lou Rawls
Kathleen Battle
Grace Bumbry
Indra Thomas
Leon Mitchell
Roland Roland
Andrea Dawson
Simon Estes
Abbey Lincoln
Billy Eckstine
Al Green

alicia banks said...

thanks fly!

i was blessed with wonderful parents who revere eternal education and are ideal role models still...


DuchessDee said...

The police, i believe, did not have to taser the GrannyinTexas. With the history of Texans I am not surprised.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Where is Travis County where the woman was tasered at?

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

West Coast Story:

I read today in the paper that those people whose house was shot up in Berkeley where the two little girls were shot are being evicted. However, it has more to do with the landlord losing the the house. The little girls are doing fine and getting out the hospital. But looks like they're about to be homeless when they do come home. When it rains, it pours.

Jody said...

Granny.... Travis is where Austin, Tx, the capital is.... and a couple of surrounding little towns. Its in the middle of the state and is one of the few areas that is actually quite progressive. I imagine there will be an outcry against this there. This is not the kind of thing that the folks that live there will accept the word of the cop.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...


Oh, okay. Thank you Jody.

nmystic said...

tirn off the TV! and mainstream radio! if you must use tv try PBS and Sprout. If you listen to radio, try Pacifica (I'm a Pacifica host- full disclosure) or other community and public radio stations.

field negro said...

Wow, all those great artists. Memory lane alert!

But co-sign with Grinder, Coltrane is the truth!

Granny,it's sad isn't it? But who is surprised? I know I am not.
And why is Texas still here?

Dafonzarelli & Fly..., thanks for your support. But I need all you supporters here at home with me.:)

Kathy, its getting hot in Southwest Philly again. The murder count will be updated shortly.

Sandra, thanks for the possible Lark sighting tip.
That is FN behavior.:)

Anonymous said...

GRANNY, i saw the video with the 72 year old woman being TASERED, it was something to see, she was one tough old woman, but, no matter what, she did not deserve to be mistreated, that policeman should have taken her age into consideration, but he did not, who in their right mind would something like that to a elderly person!

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Anonymous 11:07:

"that policeman should have taken her age into consideration, but he did not, who in their right mind would something like that to a elderly person!"

I know what you mean. Next they'll be tasering a disabled person who is paralyzed from a stroke, or has some other type of deformity. Police gone wild! Smh!

matw said...

I'm going to go against the grain.

A lot of us have expressed strong opinions against letting children hear _really_ bad lyrics. I think it's OK, and you shouldn't feel bad, as long as you otherwise overwhelm it with _really_ good advice. Just sayin.

Lots of great music is bad in _so_ many ways. Just listen to it, old and new. That's not to say bad music is great. No way.

Back to my point. A young mind is precious, and a broad range of musing is a great enrichment. A greater enrichment is teaching right and wrong, and instilling an understanding how to tell the difference for yourself. You'll never get the later except by teaching.

That's how it went in our family, and I'm happy with the way it worked out. My daughter has no bones about picking a fight with me over moral issues (i.e. she knows where she stands, and it's a good place.).

On the other hand, a steady diet of trash, radio or otherwise, has to affect our children. I'm reminded of a Michael Franti song about "Television the drug of the nation" The lyrics went something like "a cathode ray nipple. The only wet nurse who would create a cripple." Same goes for all media. Parent's teach your children. (hey wasn't that a song?) :) M

matw said...

Black Diaspora said...

Here's the test: Would the arresting officer have tasered his own grandmother?

I don't think so!"

I don't think so either, and I haven't even read the news. We would never apply such injustice to friends or family, yet we dish it out plentifully to people who are different. Pahtooee.

matw said...

I said "a broad range of musing". Should be music. My bad.

field negro said...

matw,thanks for that perspective. Hey, it's how folks in Eastern cultures raise their children, no?

Zimbel said...

@Blinders Off-

You might want to listen to Kids Bop again. They tend to be old top-list (mostly rock) songs sung by kids, but a number of them don't have anything like age-appropriate material.

I recall one recent one where a male is trying to convince a female to go on an LSD trip, and another where a female is singing about breaking up with her long-time lover.

Personally, while I'm under-thrilled with such lyrics, the main problem is that even when I try to explain them, they have difficulty relating.

If you're getting songs for kids, I'd suggest starting with Sesame Street.


Learn how to say "no." to her. She'll probably scream. Stay firm. She'll probably throw a temper tantrum. As long as this doesn't disturb you too much, just ignore her. If it does, designate a spot as "time out", send her there, and go somewhere where you can calm down - away from her; don't let her out until you're calm.

Shabazz said...

westernglowrod67 said...

Alicia looks like she was beat with an ugly stick one too many times!

It looks like someone squeezed your titties and popped your eyeballs out!

Hahahahah too funny good one!LOL

Lady-cracker said...

Granny did you watch the video of that tasering? Would you act like that? Would his grandmother have acted like that?

Yeah! She probably would have if she was running a little demented and obviously it runs in the family.

Even crazy old grannies need to be treated gentler than that no matter how stupid they act.

I thought her behavior outrageous but I have very strong views on how officers of the law should be treated. But someone who is of that age acting like that to me would be showing early signs of dementia. Probably she should not be driving either.


Anonymous said...

Feelin' your pain Field. My princess is 11 going on 80 and she came out an old soul. She is a professional entertainer, so believe me when I tell you we have to deal with that stuff times 1000. Being in the industry puts her even more in contact with all the stuff you really don't want your kid to have to see.

But as has been said earlier, it boils down to you being honest and open with them. My daughter has the same opinion as her mother and I do about the raunchiness in the entire entertainment industry today (because it certainly is not just the music).

What's truly amazing is that once they understand, they will police themselves. My daughter came across a reality show on the boob tube today about beuty pageant kids. I was so proud of the look of sheer disgust on her face as she saw all these little girls glammed up to look like 25 year old midget hookers.

Now that's not to say we don't still monitor, but it becomes less necessary the more proactive you are when they are young. The thing to realize is that you simply cannot keep them from hearing it. both my kids never listened to that kind of music at home, yet both of them know all the words to all the popular music. But the music could not be more of an influence on them than we are. That would be a reflection on us as parents, not on the artists or corporations that produce and promote it.

As it happens you are in luck. Nia Imani will be putting out her debut music this year, and it's everything you wish your kids could listen to. Not that B.S. Kids Bop nonsense. The kids can't sing and they only change a few words of the popular music they cover, so it's not like all the meaning and nuance aren't still there. Nobody is making music for kids, not even Disney, but we are going to change that.

Tune your little ones into

GrannyStandingforTruth said...


Can you picture how that might have turned out had she been wearing a pace maker? If a microwave will effect a pacemaker, how do you think a tasergun would make it react. Not to mention, her body has changed, you know the hormone thingee and what it does to change the body and make it fragile. I can understand your feelings about how officers of law should be treated, I birthed one into the world. However, just because a man wears a badge, does not always make him a saint, because they have azzholes and dummies in all occupations.

matw said...

"matw,thanks for that perspective. Hey, it's how folks in Eastern cultures raise their children, no?"

From my perspective, being married to a wonderful woman of "eastern" heritage, The eastern point of view is more strict than I expressed regarding my family.

I get the impression that "eastern" culture has an understanding of our primal behavior and has created norms to smooth the ripples. It is a careful management of beast vs. saint.

If my reply is murky, it's because my understanding is murky. I am just a guy who cares.

N said...

I stopped listening to radio in 1995 when pregnant with my 2nd child. I don't miss it. And my kids listen to either my ipod or kids music cds, no MTV or BET or anything like that.

N said...

What are people talking about- you can't shield kids from it. YES YOU CAN. I had a ton of Disney Sing Along tapes, and now I get Disney and Dora the Explorer cds and other kids stuff from the library.
My kids listened to that, to Judy Collins singing lullabies, to ABC and multiplication songs. As far as TV, I liked Nick Jr and love love love Noggin.
Little Bear is the BEST show, then Ruby and Max and Dora.
My daughter was 12 before she ever saw BET or MTV and still we dont do radio, not at my house or my parents.And at 13 she prefers her cat Warrior books and Harry Potter to watching tv or playing video games. She has a few lightweight R&B and Hannah Montana and Cheetah Girl songs on the PC and her mp3 player.

If I wouldnt let someone come in my house and speak or act a certain way I damn sure wont let it in my house via tv or radio!!

And trust me, I am NO PRUDE. I am sex positive and not into patriachal sex norms and rules. But I believe that the stuff on tv and the radio is NOT teaching children sexuality in a healthy or age appropriate manner.

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Anonymous said...

Well then if you have a problem with your kids hearing songs like that dont let them listen to that station. You cannot control wat songs are put out by the singers. That is how they make their money. So you have to be mindful of that. Your kids gone hear it at school anyways so you cant be to protective. They will find out about that regardless. So dont blame the singers or the music.

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