Sunday, February 13, 2011

My (not really an) ode to Valentine's Day


Cupid is a slick little SOB. And, honestly, I never really trusted the little guy. (Cupid is a he, right? Isn't he like the son of Mars or something?)

Sometimes the little asshole will shoot you with that arrow of his when you least expect it. ---Like he did to yours truly a few years back. And sometimes he will just do shit to be funny (Think Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupree, J Lo and Ben Affleck, or Halle Berry and whoever.)

But you really have to wonder about a guy who wastes his time shooting people like Newt Gingrich and Elizabeth Taylor over and over again with that damn arrow of his, yet he still can't find the time to shoot the Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland, the Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq, or the Jews and Palestinians, just once.

And now we have an entire day dedicated to this little asshole. --Like I need a day to be reminded that I have to bring Mrs Field flowers, or that I have to take her to a really nice restaurant every now and then-- Ladies , if your man only does nice things for you on Valentine's Day you might have a problem. Valentine's Day is great if you are a florist or a chocolate maker, but for all of us left vulnerable and exposed to that damn arrow; it's anything but nice. (Hell, here in Philly we literally have a love train for folks.) Now before you go ripping me for being all negative, I have some good things to say about Cupid as well: His arrow seemed to have been right on the mark with folks like Michelle and Barack, Will and Jada, and the Augers of Louisiana. So the little sucker doesn't always miss. Sometimes he shoots straight for the heart and hits his mark. Still, you have to wonder why he doesn't do that all the time. If he did, I wouldn't have a problem giving him a day, a year, or whatever the hell he wanted.

So, for now, I am officially not feeling Valentine's Day. But I am going to wish you all a happy one. Maybe you can put it to better use than I can.

OK, I gotta go. I am still checking with florist online who can deliver by tomorrow. :(

50 comments:

Wesley R said...

Field,

I bet most people have heard of a story like the Augers. That's what you call true love. One can't live without the other.

small bathroom designs said...

I was very encouraged to find this site. I wanted to thank you for this special read. I definitely savored every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.

CAROLYN MOON said...

Happy Valentine's Day to you and the Mrs. Mr. Moon and I have been dealing with that "little sucker" for 42 yrs.. You're right...sometimes he does hit the mark! :-)

PilotX said...

I'm cool with cupid now but the little asshole made me do some embarrasing shit back in college.

CAROLYN MOON said...

@PilotX...LOL...I bet a number of us can attest to that as well. But he eventually comes through!!

Spartacus said...

PilotX said...
I'm cool with cupid now but the little asshole made me do some embarrasing shit back in college.


We know, PilotX, we know…hey, but keep your chin up man.

Anonymous said...

Awwwwww fields, happy Valentine's Day. I love you man!!!!!!


SPC

field negro said...

"I'm cool with cupid now but the little asshole made me do some embarrasing shit back in college."

)))LOL(((. College, and high school, and elementary school...come on PilotX, don't front. You know it's not just me. We have all been there. :)

42 years? Wow! Congrats Carolyn. You should give folks some pointers.

Wesley, you are right, there are quite a few stories like that out there. I think I had a couple of FNOTD a few months ago who were like that.

I am not sure if it was the Fishers, but I think they have the Augurs beat:

http://www.lipstickalley.com/f41/black-couple-married-85-years-gives-relationship-advice-via-twitter-222732/

field negro said...

SPC, I love you too. Even if you are a wingnut. :)

PilotX said...

Spartacus, you were supposed to burn those! Damn.

alicia banks said...

why so jaded?

love is life fn!

happy valentine's day!

peace

http://aliciabanks.xanga.com/741216690/%E2%80%9Cfor-colored-girls%E2%80%9D-%E2%80%93-who-will-never-consider-censorship-when-the-truth-is-enough/

maria said...

http://www.floristexpress.net/search.htm?cat=valentine%27s+day

check this one. where there's $$, there's a way!

Sharon from WI said...

Field,

Yes, Cupid is the son of Mars (Ares) and Venus (Aphrodite). The names in parentheses are the Roman deities' Greek counterparts. Happy Valentine's day to you and Mrs. Field.

The HCT said...

maria said..."where there's $$, there's a way!"

You better have your own $$, cause that's the only way you're geting any flowers.

Anonymous said...

The HCT said...
maria said..."where there's $$, there's a way!"

You better have your own $$, cause that's the only way you're geting any flowers.


Thats not correct. AB is sending her twolips to put on her organ. Or was it rose on her piano?

Anonymous said...

Sharon from WI said...
Field,

Yes, Cupid is the son of Mars (Ares) and Venus (Aphrodite). The names in parentheses are the Roman deities' Greek counterparts. Happy Valentine's day to you and Mrs. Field.



Cool and Mold is the son of Uranus. Happy Heart Day.

Bob said...

I doubt Mrs. Field gives a hoot whether or not you feel Valentines Day, as long as you remember she feels it. ;)

Anonymous said...

"You better have your own $$, cause that's the only way you're geting any flowers."

That's not true. As a bm I would readily send Maria flowers and candy. She deserves it just like anybody else.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MARIA!

and don't let some of these mean-spirited ghetto fools bother you. They are asshole ignoramuses.

Anonymous said...

The Augers story represent what two human being can be in love, marriage and life. But these days, a commitment to one another is scarce. It is common that most marriages end in divorce in America.

Cupid has nothing to do with it. People just don't know how to be a true partner to another human being in a relationship.

Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden said...

Happy Valentines Day to you and Mrs. Field.

PilotX said...

I'm glad I got the right woman, she hates Valentine's Day as much as I do. I always felt it was much better for people to pick their own special days so it was personal. Two grouchy Smurfs, gotta love it.

PilotX said...

http://www.thedarksideofchocolate.org/
No supporting child slavery. Don't buy chocolate!

Anonymous said...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/regina-varolli/valentines-chocolate-plea_b_818362.html

Zing said...

Don't be too hard on Cupid, field...he's got bad eyesight. It takes him a while to get it right.

Happy V.D., oops, I mean Happy Valentine's Day.

Damn, using initials can be as troublesome as forgetting your significant other on this day.

field negro said...

"Spartacus, you were supposed to burn those! Damn."

Classic!

Happy V-Day to all, and to all a good day.

Thanks Maria, I found a florist.
I think.

*keeping fingers crossed*

AB, I will try not to be so jaded.

Tell you what; just for today I will like the little guy,(Cupid)if you promise to like his O- ness.

Deal? :)

"Happy V.D., oops, I mean Happy Valentine's Day."

Zing, you are a mess.

maria said...

hope you are feeling better today, field.

maria said...

Anonymous said...
"You better have your own $$, cause that's the only way you're geting any flowers."

That's not true. As a bm I would readily send Maria flowers and candy. She deserves it just like anybody else.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MARIA!

and don't let some of these mean-spirited ghetto fools bother you. They are asshole ignoramuses.

1:17 AM

thanks!

alicia banks said...

fn:

i promise to love hobama ONLY when he deserves it like your Queen does!...

what should i love about him now????


did i ever tell u that i drove a big rig for fedex overnight for 7 yrs while i was a radio star by day in atl?...
so
i know colds!
best cold remedy ever =

lots of orange juice
zinc vitamins
valerian root capsules

get well soon!

have a regal v day!

Anonymous said...

shut up shit stain banks!

alicia banks said...

fn:

ps:

holistic meds are always best

take the valerian at night only as
it will make u drowsy/help u sleep

goldenseal capsules also detox...and will not cause drowsiness...they are better for days...

uptownsteve said...

Happy Valentines Day everyone especially my man Field and my homegirl Maria.

Uprah said...

Ah Valentine’s day, there's so much love in the air that uptown is closing in on AB.

alicia banks said...

fn:

i love u like jah do..but so sorry..no can do re: hobama!

every blind hater fool herein gets a pass today as i celebrate my Queen...

but hobama gets NO pass/love from me today or any day!!!
_____

happy v day to all hobama nazis from hobama!!!:

President Barack Obama, less than two months after signing tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans into law, is proposing a budget to congress that attacks programs that assist the working poor, help the needy heat their homes, expand access to graduate-level education and undermine that type of community-based organizations that gave the president his start in Chicago. Obama’s new budget puts forward a plan to achieve $1.1 trillion in deficit reductions over the next decade, according to an administration official who spoke to the Associated Press on condition of anonymity in advance of the formal release of the budget...

http://newsone.com/nation/washington-watch/newsonestaff2/obamas-budget-proposal-to-hurt-poor-middle-class/

mellaneous said...

Come on Field you can do better than this! Love is what it is and in our society romantic love is too romanticized and too often it takes precedence over common sense and committment. Thus the divorce rate.

While love is a good thing and cupid --which represents primarily romantic love-- is nice, what's needed to fix the situations you alluded to are agape love. But failing that a little justice would go a long way toward freeing the Palestinians and solving the problem of Great Britian's colonial hold on Northern Ireland.

A friend of mine keeps trying to tell me that us black folks want to be loved and I keep telling her that I think we think that love is good, but failing that if we had justice we would do just fine.

It is Christians and other religious adherents which are required to, love their neighbor as themselves.

After all you can't make anyone love you, but you can request that they treat you equally and fairly.

And one does not have to be loving to be just.

In other words, if you just treat us right and treat us like you do other folks and evaluate us like you do others and consider our qualifications like you do others then we will be just fine.

Wish you and your wife a happy Valentine Field!

Also wish, AB, LAA, Focused Purpose, Maria,Jody my man LAC and my man PilotX and Steve, Mold a good Valentines Day as well.

And I hope the anons, the haters, the conscending and the bigoted find some joy on this day as well

alicia banks said...

mell:

thanks!

have a regal v day too my King!

alicia banks said...

fn:

here is more to sweeten your racism file..

http://newsone.com/nation/newsonestaff2/pot-marijuana-arrests-nyc-2010-blacks-latinos/

Anonymous said...

Hope this day brings the Romantic in you-all out and gives your Significant Other a bit of joy.

Field, Candinas Chocolates...works on me!

Mold

Desertflower said...

Happy Valentines day Mr. and Mrs Field! and to everyone here.

May peace, love and lots and lots of great sex be with you today (and always) !!! ;P Because remember, it's actually sex that makes the world go round, not love!

LACoincidental said...

Happy Valentine's Day all.

JudgeDredd said...

mellaneous said...
Come on Field you can do better than this! Love is what it is and in our society romantic love is too romanticized and too often it takes precedence over common sense and committment. Thus the divorce rate.

While love is a good thing and cupid --which represents primarily romantic love-- is nice, what's needed to fix the situations you alluded to are agape love. But failing that a little justice would go a long way toward freeing the Palestinians and solving the problem of Great Britian's colonial hold on Northern Ireland.

A friend of mine keeps trying to tell me that us black folks want to be loved and I keep telling her that I think we think that love is good, but failing that if we had justice we would do just fine.

It is Christians and other religious adherents which are required to, love their neighbor as themselves.

After all you can't make anyone love you, but you can request that they treat you equally and fairly.

And one does not have to be loving to be just.

In other words, if you just treat us right and treat us like you do other folks and evaluate us like you do others and consider our qualifications like you do others then we will be just fine.

Wish you and your wife a happy Valentine Field!

Also wish, AB, LAA, Focused Purpose, Maria,Jody my man LAC and my man PilotX and Steve, Mold a good Valentines Day as well.

And I hope the anons, the haters, the conscending and the bigoted find some joy on this day as well



Oh God ,the Lunatic Mail Order Reverend strikes even on Valentines Day.

Ok, I warned you, now I am posting your video. Here is the famous Mail order Rev'rum.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e0c3ad2175

Are ya laughin Beyaatch?

alicia banks said...

jd:

may you have a royal evening with your blessed Queen too my regal brother!

thanks!

maria said...

mell said:

Also wish, AB, LAA, Focused Purpose, Maria,Jody my man LAC and my man PilotX and Steve, Mold a good Valentines Day as well.

thanks, and same to you.

appreciate the shout-out, steve.

alicia banks said...

fn:


more for your racism file!

&

for all the corny racist sexist eddie m fans herein

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/02/14/first-lady-depicted-as-fat-chowing-down-hamburger-platter-in-cartoon/

mellaneous said...

Gladly be called a lunatic judge Dredd for standing up for those who can't stand for themselves and for advocating freedom justice prosperity and equality for those who don't have it.

You on the other hand are the enemy of the poor the oppressed and the exploited and a supporter of all things backward.

There is another saying that applies to your attempt to smear me and that is:

Evil never rests!

Have a happy Valentines day my friend

JudgeDredd said...

mellaneous said...
Gladly be called a lunatic judge Dredd for standing up for those who can't stand for themselves and for advocating freedom justice prosperity and equality for those who don't have it.

You on the other hand are the enemy of the poor the oppressed and the exploited and a supporter of all things backward.

There is another saying that applies to your attempt to smear me and that is:

Evil never rests!

Have a happy Valentines day my friend



Your right. Evil never rests.

Freedom of opportunity exists equally for all mi amigo. However opportunity does not guarantee results without effort. Prosperity is not a guarantee and comes from the use of the readily availible freedoms and sweat from your brow.

The enemy of the poor and oppressed is people like you. You should be preaching that a man can feed his own family from his own efforts, rather then relying on your ungodly redistribution scheme. For only someone evil, backwards and communist would want people NOT to know how to create and flourish from their own efforts with your misdirection of jealousy and hate.

The Modern Day Mell Story.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be WARM AND WELL-FED while others are COLD AND STARVING. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and
ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’

Jesse Jackson and Barack Obama stage a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome”.

Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.


Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident; and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

Dirty Sanchez said...

"Field, Candinas Chocolates...works on me!"

Mold



All you are getting is a handful of roofies and can of Pam.

Anonymous said...

JudgeDredge, Thanks for putting that bs-ing Rev mell in his place. He is off the charts. Must be from too much crack.

Anonymous said...

Desertflower, "May peace, love and lots and lots of great sex be with you today (and always) !!! ;P Because remember, it's actually sex that makes the world go round, not love!"

That explains why there are so many OOW babies in the black community and the bm abandoning their families. It's the sex that counts, right? No wonder bm don't give a damn about bw and the children they father. No love, no conscience.

Only a sick minded person would claim that sex makes the world go round. No wonder the black race is at the end of the line....everyone else is looking for love, but Blacks are looking to be fucked. How pathetically primative.

uptownsteve said...

The end of the line?

Desertflower said...

Anon 7:42: Stop stalking me and get a life, or at least try to get laid, looks like you're in dire need!