Friday, October 30, 2009

"Trick Or Treat"!

I left my office kind of late tonight, and then I went to West Philly to hit up my favorite Jamaican restaurant for some takeout. I am busting it up Roosevelt Boulevard because the food is smelling in the car and I can't wait to get home and throw down. -Yes, I will admit it; I was "starving like Marvin". -In a perfect world I get home before my food is even warm, I lay out my goodies on the table, and I partake.

But that is in a perfect world. In my world things never quite happen how you want them to. Rrrrrng rrrng rrrng. That would be Mrs. Field chirping me. "Field can you stop by the store and get lots and lots of candy, I forgot to pick some up on the way home and it's Halloween tomorrow. Did you forget?"" No, I didn't forget, I thought we weren't doing Halloween this year."" What made you think that?" " Well, honestly, I am really not down for having little kids ringing my bell on a Saturday evening when I am trying to do other things.'" What field, like watch the games? Just get the candy, please."

So I am in the damn grocery story picking over all sorts of candy to fill into little plastic pumpkin bowls. I am doing this so that the little crumb snatchers can invade my space and line their bags with their grubby little hands. A pirate; a witch; a monster; Batman; will go on and on until the last candy bowl is cleaned out. And, of course, Mrs. Field will tell me to put out more candy. Field, you know there is more candy in there, put out some more bowls.

Trick or treat! Like what are they going to do if I don't give them shit? Toilet paper my front door or my car? I don't think so. I am sorry folks, but around here where I live, these little snatchers aren't going to do squat. They might look scary in their little costumes, but I ain't scared of em. Besides, most of them have their parents with them, they wouldn't dare try anything with mommy and daddy in tow.

How did we get to this place? Isn't this supposed to be a christian country? And isn't Halloween some kind of pagan celebration? Why can't you all be like The Jehovah's Witness and just say no to fright night? A-merry-ca is a scary enough place as it is, we don't need a night to celebrate being scared. (See what you caused Jamie Lee?) The only people who love Halloween are dentists and costume store owners.

"Field, did you get the little mini Kit Kats?"" No, I didn't get the little minnie Kit Kats."" Well how close are you?" "I am real close," I lied. "Well could you stop at the drug store down the street, they have some in there. " Can someone please tell me what exactly is the relationship between candy and being scared to death?

Tomorrow night, just for spite, I am giving each kid just one piece of candy. That's what they get for making my damn curry goat rice and plantain get cold.


Leota2 said...

Field is the Halloween Grinch of Philly.

Dark Frosty said...

Field, be nice to the children. One of these days they'll reciprocate.

marci said...

all year to tell kids not to accept sweets from strangers and then you take them by the hand to stranger's houses to obtain said sweets?

its something that is getting bigger over here in the uk.... much to my annoyance.. it used to be back to school.. then half term and guy fawkes night on 5 nov.. then christmas.. this halloween business is totally unnecessary..

& i refuse to engage with the same kids who probably knocked my car while playing football in the street..

Blinders Off said...

LMAO...Field you are acting like that "MEAN OLD MAN" that is on every block!

Put a smile on your face when you hand out the candy :-)

Jody said...

WTF man? You are one grumpy dude! Taking a night to indulge children's fantasies and give them a treat... a night that most children all across america love. You really need to get in touch with your inner child... you are becoming seriously not fun!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you, Field. Halloween is a pain in the ass. I don't give out candy on Halloween. When those crum snatchers come by, I say, "I don't give out candy. Now if you will excuse me, I am busy." Then I slam the door.

Halloween is a royal pain in the ass!

M. Rigmaiden said...

You are grumpy! heheheheheh You could always steam the plantains and warm them up that way:) Then the microwave doesn't screw up the texture. I'm a fool for yucca, plantains and moqueca!

The Angry Independent said...

Damn Halloween. never liked it myself. The World is becoming a daily nightmare as is; just turn on the news. Most of it, courtesy of U.S. foreign policy (about 1/3 to 1/2 of the Worlds conflicts can be traced back in some way to U.S. foreign policy and/or British & French colonialism and imperialism.... it's usually at the root of wars somewhere on the globe).

But occasionally we get the mass murderer too. Halloween is damn near obsolete... considering the daily horrors taking place.

It's another bogus nonsensical Holiday that certain corporations love....and drum up every year so that folks will buy their products.

Definitely don't need it.


I guess I can add Ken Hutcherson to the list of Blacks that the Right loves to parade around to show that they aren't really racists.

And these clowns don't mind willingly playing along and whoring themselves out. It's annoying.

This comes a few days after Rush calls the President a “Little Boy".

I already have a general dislike for certain Black elites... like celebs and sports figures who make Blacks look like $#%^, especially all things BET & Hip Hop. "Dislike" is not strong enough to describe my feelings on that. But Black Shysters like Ken Hutcherson are some of the worst.

Anonymous said...

one day a year all kids have a shot at equality with other kids. the poorest kid can smear on some coffee grounds, get out and bust a move and load up candy for the rest of the year.

when i was a kid and we were dirt poor. we got dropped off on the edge of town and worked our way across. when we got home we pooled our booty in a big wash tub. (11 kids at least 6 at a time trick or treating) Dad would get first dibs and the rest was ours. I love halloween and have my candy ready.

Anonymous said...



Raggy dee Ann said...

@Marci, aint that the truth.

@ Field, Hope you enjoyed your curry goat, I might just go and get myself some tonight. Yesterday morning, I woke up to find raw eggs smashed on my door step.

The only kids getting any candy from me are lovely boys next door who along with all his friends are very polite hold my gate open and even help me with my grocery from the car. They even call me Miss Ann ...something very rare in the UK.

As for the others my dogs are going to be waiting for them.

***evil twisted cackle***

Anonymous said...

Don't blame the kids, field. Blame your wife. After all, she's the one who made you miss the chance to eat your food hot. If she wanted candy, she should have picked it up.

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Is this a trick or treat of a column this morning?Inquring minds want to know,personally I have little tolarance for this holiday,it's useless and expensive for all involved.If we want to do something fun and learning for our kids,then let's spend more time with them educating them about the real world!I do have a sense of humor and fun about my self but holloween doesn't do it for me or my grandchildren in 2009.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Field and some of the posters above. I think kids have too much fun with this. I believe in sucking away any innocence left in childhood and fast tracking them on a steady dose of Supermanning dat Hoe and paternity tests.

It's obviously a a very satanic holiday anyway. We need to do better to steer them to the God and the church where they will be free from abuse, bigotry, and hypocrisy. Amen.

fuckinmrsfieldwithmybigblackdigtillshebleeds said...

But judging from his comments it won't last. Mrs. Field likes her men smart AND good looking. I don't know what you look like fam. but if you are ugly you are 0-2.

Smart??????? Brotha you are kiddin' you be called out all the time the past few weeks for being the opposite, but you never respond back when you get pegged. Smart, you are not. Now some other peeps on here are smart. You are what is known as a Troll Blogger FN. Smart, that's funny bro.

mrsfieldsblacksnatchslurpercausemrfieldwont said...


Case in point in your post. Slap the bitch who forgot the candy. Not the kids bro.

The New Black Woman said...

I never buy candy for Halloween to give out or even decorate my house. Even if I did, I would buy only Reese's Cups and Snicker's so I can eat them myself:-)

I did get talked into dressing up as Dorothy for a party tonight, though:-( At least I don't have to pass out candy to children!

Anonymous said...

Hope you have a lawn so you can yell at the kids to get off of it!

field negro said...

AI,that's just Rush being Rush.Careful how you talk about him,you will wake his ditto heads.

I just had a scary thought:what if one of them has a Rush mask?

metricpenny said...

LMBAO! Field, it seems to me the really scary one for you is Mrs. Fields. LOL!

You know the stores are open on Saturday. Right?

Happy Halloween!!

field negro said...

"all year to tell kids not to accept sweets from strangers and then you take them by the hand to stranger's houses to obtain said sweets?"

Marci, that's a great point.

New Black Woman,the Halloween parties I don't mind too much.:)

@stalker posting at 8:39 am and 8:49 am, you don't have to jump from thread to thread with the same post. I see you. Aren't you getting tired of the Hanes logo? Cause you sure stay in my jock. :) But that's OK, I am used to stalkers. It's only that they are usually a little more creative that you are.

BTW, the word "bitch", is that the kind of word they teach in GED classes these days? Nice! Your teacher should be really proud of you.

Anonymous said...

field, I think you're a loathsome racist and hate-mongerer, but I want to take time out to say that you don't deserve the treatment of the person who's posting with the 'mrsfield' stuff. That's not right, that doesn't belong anywhere.

There's plenty to criticize and attack you for, but that other stuff is just plainly out of bounds. Have a nice Halloween - from a white, Christian hetero conservative man.

kathy said...

Just one piece of candy, that's it?

ot, watched the mj movie last night, the Thriller version is sooo good.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Field, you're just pissed cause your Wife doesn't need a Mask...
Ha Ha, that was too easy...
and I enjoy arrangin the treats by Ethnic/Demographic Group, "Hot Tamales" for little Ros-a-lita, Ju-Ju-Bes for my own Jew-Jews, and for the little Colored Boy at the end of the block?,
"Watermelon" flavor Gummi Worms, ya gotta look for em...

Hopin your Crib don't get burned down like that former Philli Mayor did with those MOVE savages...


field negro said...

"ot, watched the mj movie last night, the Thriller version is sooo good."

I amm supposed to check it out today. Pray for me.

Anon 11:23 a.m., I respect and appreciate your position, but I object to your characterization of me. Honestly, that is more troubling than what that ignorant clown posts. His type are a dime a dozen and will never change.(He is either married to his cousin and living in his mother's basement, or incarcerated somewhere with limited computer privileges)You, on the other hand,well...let's just say that there might be hope for you.

"LMBAO! Field, it seems to me the really scary one for you is Mrs. Fields. LOL!'"

Metricpenny, you got that right, see what I said above about that MJ movie. Who do you think is responsible for that?

Justice58 said...

Trick-or-Treat, Trick-or-Treat
Give me something good to eat! :)

Happy Halloween everyone!

Justice58 said...

Let me show you something amazingly cool. Check out this place!
Very impressive! Audiegrl rocks!

Anonymous said...

I'm not giving out candy this year. Last year, only six crumb snatchers showed up at my door because everyone else that lives around my unit had signs on their door that said "No candy this year".

This year, a lot of those same doors belong to vacant apartments. What's the point?

blastedmrsfieldsasswideopen said...

well here at work we just hear about how you only pay attention to sports and the computer....which is why I love to bone her! she needs the lovin'

Anonymous said...

Halloween is not my thing either.I mean whats the point my GF and i play "dress up" every other week. As for the kids isn't Halloween counter-productive? Growing up my mother always said "never take candy from strangers", and i am sure parents tell their kids the same thing today. So wtf is up with confusing the little crumb snatchers with Halloween.

John Crow

Anonymous said...


Asswipe Moron!

Anonymous said...

Man, you guys sound like a pleasant bunch. Don't believe in giving candy on I bet you lot don't believe in tipping more than 3% at restaurants, either. Probably throw trash out your car windows as well. HaHa

Thank god there are still responsible citizens, if we had to depend on some you guys we'd be doomed. :)

Sharon from WI said...

Oh Field, don't be such a grouch. You could always nuke your dinner in the microwave once you are home. :-)

DuchessDee said...

funny post, FN. Since you dont have any children yet, this is a nice way of praticing at sacrificing.

3rdStoneFromTheSun said...


I lived in Philly up Roosevelt Blvd a decade ago up in Olney

I wouldn't have noticed a lil t.p. lol, because the whole area looked like it had been t.p.'d a few years daily already

field negro said...

Rock where do u live it sounds like my kind of place.

But you guys are right,I will try to be nice tonight.

I think Anon.2:16 pm and my favorite stalker are from the same trailer park.

3rdStone...Roosevelt is a long street.I actually live in the 19115 area code.Doesn't sound like u got up my way much when u were in Philly,but that'OK.:)

Eddie said...

Why not get a big bag of apples and hand them? The parents will freak out because they heard some have razor blades in them, and the kids will hate you for giving them something healthy. That way they won't come back to your house next year and you get to lecture Mrs. Field about how giving candy to kids in country where obesity is wrong.

fuckingfnwifeintrailer said...

just saying, give the lady some lovin and she won't be a dissing you bro

Plantsmantx said...


I see that you're being you usual sad, sad, in-denial self. You're using the occasion of Halloween to play at being the amusing curmudgeon, rather than sending out the alarm about all the tiny URBAN TERRORISTS who will undoubtedly use Trick or Treat as an opportunity to commit COUNTLESS HOME INVASIONS!!!

...such a sad, sad FILLED NEGRO

/UnReconstructed HouseNegro

maria said...

it's ok to call field a loathsome racist, but attacking his wife is off limits.

too funny!

field--you deserve neither, of course.

field negro said...

"I see that you're being you usual sad, sad, in-denial self. You're using the occasion of Halloween to play at being the amusing curmudgeon, rather than sending out the alarm about all the tiny URBAN TERRORISTS who will undoubtedly use Trick or Treat as an opportunity to commit COUNTLESS HOME INVASIONS!!!"

[un]constructive one needs to quit, look at the influence he is starting to have on folks.

"just saying, give the lady some lovin and she won't be a dissing you bro"

Stalker Hanes,[That's your new name, because I like Hanes briefs and you stay in my jock ;)]
If I need sme tips on loving I am sure you are the last person I would call. Unless, of course, I wanted to learn more creative ways of masturbating.

BTW, that picture of your palm in your wallet, is it in color or black and white?

RiPPa said...

Bro, did you make sure you didn't pick up the demon possessed candy?

You know Pat Robertson and the crew put out the PSA yesterday. Oh you didn't hear it?

Oh well...

pissslitlover said...

Black all over baby. C'mon bro, you know you like the thought of me splitting the old lady. You can watch if you want. Creative masturbation is quite fun, but I hear you do it in the shower...I'm just saying.

field negro said...

"I hear you do it in the shower...I'm just saying."

Hi Stalker Hanes. :)
Yes, occasonaly. But I am sure that doing it in the shower is something that you are very good at. I hear that's the preferred way of doing things in the joint.

And yes masturbating can be fun, but you should really consider finding a partner every now and then instead of playing house with your palm all day long.

Black and white pic, huh? Hey, whatever turns you on.

*holding the microphone and waiting for a response from the heckler*

Rippa, thanks for that link. That is too funny...wait,my door bell is ringing. :(

Anonymous said...

You could look at Halloween as a secular/christian holiday. It is symbolic and a reason it is during this time of year. What is happening, the seaon is changing from summer to fall. Fall brings the harvest and is not what the jack o lantern represents? That this time of year brings into darkness as the days are shorter and days grows longer, but fortunately we have the harvest to get through the darker time of the year. Of course we are going to have a celebration because we are going to be more depressed until spring returns. It is a pagan religion which is about the earth and what it offers human beings. We need to lighten and remember that holidays changes their meanings over time as people will make it important in their lives. Tomorrow is All Saint's day and related to Halloween.

How many people celebrate memorial day with a cookout or visit to the beach, but does not attend to a service to those who lost their lives in war for this country? It is something to think about.

Anonfieldnegro said...

Field...ignore pathetic cavemen that dwell in the digital byways like roaches. The coward who's leaving all of those comments knows he would get a mean-azz beat down saying that shit in the face of a real man...and HE KNOWS IT!

On the Halloween tip, I totally sympathize with and the missus go thru this dance every year. This ridiculous "holiday"(?) is completely overdone and way past proper...the last few years I've used the "let's go to the movies" trick to get her outta the house so I don't have to stand at the door for eight hours givin' out diabetes to our neighbor's children.

Tonite we're going to see "Paranormal Activity"...and she will definitely be alot closer to me tonite in bed...ya dig what I'm sayin'!

Peace and Hair Grease!

One of your field cousins...

field negro said...

Anonfieldnegro, every now and then I like to engage the cockroaches. It keeps me sharp. :)

"the last few years I've used the "let's go to the movies" trick to get her outta the house so I don't have to stand at the door for eight hours givin' out diabetes to our neighbor's children."

I like that! And I love your ulterior motives.

BTW,speaking of movies, I caught the early show of "This Is It" today, and it wasn't bad. Kind of sad though.

Hennasplace, that was interesting, thanks.

FlyNMy40s said...

Damn Field, sounds like dinner isn't the ONLY thing you need, LOL!!!

La♥Incognita said...

Re your sidebar, I always thought that was Rush. But I see who fits it best. Well I guess Ailes has a natural born costume for tonight.

Field, do people still allow their children to go trick-o-treating with all that's going on these days?

I always wanted to go trick-o-treating as a child. It wasn't really something that kids did in my parts. I once asked my mother and she said "gyurl, wen somebody drag yo little ass in deh house, yo gonne fyne out bout trick o treat".

Sigh. Hearing that as a child traumatized me for life. I now see Halloween as a night for pedophiles and trouble making teens.

Well, I just bought myself a kit-kat and I'm staying indoors to cuddle and watch haunted movies. I'm good.

Lady-Cracker said...

Halloween was one of my favorite holidays...We weren't really allowed to go until it was at least twilight. The wind in the trees, for some reason it tended to be windy on Halloween and the dark full of scudding scratching leaves was magical. The candy was okay too. Although my mother always kept candy for us in the house.

Then with our kids, that was a holiday we had with our step kids. They loved the fact that I made "real" costumes. As they go t older they thought up their own costumes and were wildly happy when they could talk their father into dressing up. I would walk with them dressed up. No trick or treating over the age of 14. They don't make times like that any more.

We are too far back in the holler for trick or treaters to come. The trend is to go trick or treating at the mall. You know, its "safe."

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]fuckinmrsfieldwithmybigblackdigtillshebleeds said...

blastedmrsfieldsasswideopen said...

fuckingfnwifeintrailer said...


Why don't you pull up with your IGNORANCE!!!???

My friend Filled Negroes wife is not a poster here. Why don't you just deal with the points at hand?

Here is the issue with your IGNORANCE.

Just when I get Filled Negro and other Ideological Bigots to take a hard look at the painful truth of the places that they have dominate control over - HERE YOU COME with your ignorant attacks to get them to RETRENCH in their position.

You actually and unwittingly play into their hands. All they need to do is to tell the masses that YOU are a "Republican" and thus if these others start ASKING QUESTION of that which Filled Negro believes then these "Wayward Sheep" are helping the ADVERSARY to win.

I actually like my friend Filled Negro. He is so predictable in his antics.

For me as a Black man - this is more of an issue of HOW MUCH ENDURANCE does my people have in staying unified around that which has FAILED to deliver upon their own PERMANENT INTERESTS.

The only hope that Filled Negro and other Ideological Bigots have is to HOLD IGNORANT PEOPLE LIKE YOU UP as a grand fear tactic.

Leave Ms Field-Negro OUT OF THIS!!!!!

(I am sure that she suffers enough having to live with the guy and put up with his antics. :-) )

alicia banks said...



i hope you had a chance to enjoy the reheated food later and have a happy halloween!

kids rarely trick or treat anymore...

i had only one cute boy about 11who told me he was trick or treating for 4 younger

i gave him a whole huge bowl of candy...he was elated

most kids here go to halloween parties hosted by clubs and churches etc

i would never let my kids trick or treat...even in the 60s...our parents took us to stores/parties as chicago has never been safe...

and i never feel safe opening my door...and only do so when i am hosting my own adult party

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