Monday, January 22, 2007

If You Build It Some Will Come

Well folks, it's legacy time again, and like everything else he touches, the frat boy is f*****g up this one too. In case you haven't heard, the frat boy wants to build his Presidential library-all three books-at SMU in Dallas, Texas. It's appropriate right, I mean the guy is from Texas, SMU is a well respected research University with a pretty good academic reputation. And many of the frat boys big money benefactors are from the Dallas area, so there would be no problem raising money.

But there is one little problem: well, a couple of problems actually. First, it seems that the land that the University wants to use for the library was...well let's just say possibly illegally taken from some condo owners in the area. These good folks are now suing the University over eminent domain issues. How fitting is that? To build the frat boy's library, they probably seize private land owners property illegally. I guess given what we know of the frat boy this is kind of ironic, since his legacy will really be about the government and powerful entities skirting the law to get their own way.

Now the second little problem is a more public one, and one that is more problematic for the frat boy. Did I mention that the "M" in SMU stands for Methodist? Well it does, and apparently some distinguished ministers who call SMU their Alma mater have some serious issues with the man who started a war which have killed thousands and thousands of people, using their University for his library. "We believe that the linking of his presidency with the University bearing the Methodist name is utterly inappropriate" This from Reverend Andrew J. Weaver, who is one of the leaders of an Internet petition drive to block the library.

So anyway, being the good guy that I am, I would like to help out the frat boy, and suggest another site for his library. It's perfect. Ready? How about Southern University in Baton Rouge Louisiana? I know I know, it doesn't have the academic clout as SMU, but think about it, it's the largest Black University system in the country, it's in Louisiana-what better way to bond with the people devastated by Katrina, and Kanye West would have to eat his words. Hell yeah George Bush cares about black people. He just put his multi million dollar library in the middle of an HBC campus. Take that Kanye! Oh, did I mention that Southern puts out tons of Jag officers and they have a great ROTC program. Remember that General guy, Honor'e, yeah the Katrina take charge one, well he went to Southern. So the frat boy could score brownie points with the military people too.... know what, I think I will call the frat boy and run this one by him.


GB: Hello
FN: Hello Mr. President. this is the field negro, how are you?
GB: Not too good field this war thing hasn't been going so well, and...
FN: ..Mr. President, I don't mean to cut you off but I didn't call about the war this time.
GB: Yeah why did you call, to ask me why I didn't go to James Brown's funeral? Look field, I understand that James Brown was....
FN: ..No Mr.President, I didn't call to talk about that either. I want to talk about your Presidential library, I hear you might be having some problems with it.
GB: Yeah, do you believe it? As if I don't have enough problems.
FN: Well I have just the University for you sir. It's a historically black college. I know how you and your family feel about HBC's, and I think this one would be perfect.
GB: Oh yeah, we are big supporters of UNICEF.
FN: Sir, that's UNCF.
GB: Yeah that one.
FN: So anyway sir, it would be a great way to show the people of Louisiana and black people that you care about them, and you are willing to think outside the box. I think it would really help your legacy sir.
GB: I don't know field,I mean I want all Americans to visit my library. Isn't in a bad part of town?
FN: Well its in North Baton Rouge sir, which is predominantly black, but it's not bad.
GB: No offense field, it's not bad for you, but I am not sure if my peeps will be comfortable there. If you know what I am saying.
FN: I understand sir, but hey, it was worth a shot.
GB: Nice try field, but I have to stay loyal to my peeps too. After all, they shelled out allot of money to get me elected. And no offense field, but other than Oprah, your people don't really have a whole lot of those "dead presidents" if you know what I mean.
FN: I know exactly what you mean sir.
GB: But hey, tell Eddie Robinson hi for me, the guy is a heck of coach.
FN: Well he coached at Grambling sir, and he is no longer coaching.
GB: Oh, well that's a shame, he was a good man. I gotta go field, I got Condi on the other line.
FN: Bye Mr. President, and please tell Madam Secretary that her hair is looking much better these days.
GB: I will field, and don't be so hard on me, we are working on that little Iraqi problem. The evil doers are on the run.


C-dell said...

another cool post. I really like the conversation between you and Pres. Bush. I actually live in Louisiana. I go to Louisiana Tech which is not that far from Grambling in fact in the same Parish. A good friend of mine goes to Southern. I would be really shocked if that happened. There happens to be no chance of that happening though.

Christopher Chambers said...

Nice suggestion on Southern U. hahaha. Have you heard Bush's former Nat Security advisor Richard Clark on NPR today? He bascially said Bush doesn't have the balls or brains to do what is right in Iraq (pull the hell out and stop pending trillions on the defense dept.) Of course, he says neither do the Demcorats. See you at the State of the Union...

Tasha said...

Nice post. I'd really love for Bush to put his library someplace like Southern, if for no other reason than to see him sweat bullets.

Madame K said...

Thank you for this post. I just laughed so hard I cried.

*wiping tears on sleeve*

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