Thursday, July 31, 2008

"Don't leave home without it."

I am so mad at his "O" ness that I don't know what to do. Just imagine, this Negro has had a race card all along and keeping it to himself. Please, please, please, "O" man, if you have a race card could you tell the field where to get one? I could really use that bitch.

Now stop being selfish. I know you used yours to get into Columbia, and to Harvard Law. And, you used it to become Editor of the Law Review no less. But you didn't stop there; you got into the exclusive club of 100 white men (otherwise known as the U.S. Senate), and now you want to use your card to become the leader of the free world. Wow! What a card you must have. What did Mr. Morton's boy say? That you pulled it from the "bottom of the deck"? No wonder I couldn't find that bitch.

Oh field stop it, you know you have played the race card a time or two. No, not that I know of. Although I am quite sure that the race card has been played against me. But don't get me wrong, if I had one to use like his "O" ness, I would be playing that bad boy from the top of the deck, not the bottom. You think an Amex black card is the shit, wait until you see how much clout my race card would have.

Mr. Field, this is the bank, your mortgage is due. Ahhhh did you know that I was black? No sir we did not. Well I happen to have a race card right here, and I was planning on using it. Is that going to be necessary? No Mr. Field, that's fine. We will let the mortgage slide for this month, you just hold on to that card: Sir, did you know that you were doing 100 MPH in a 35 MPH zone? May I see your driver's license sir? No officer, but I do have a race card. Ahhh, never mind, just be careful next time. You have a nice day now. Thank you officer, you do the same.....You gotta love it.

The possibilities would be endless. But I guess I will never get one of those race cards because I just wouldn't know where to apply for one. White folks keep shit like that from us black folks. They can only afford to let a few of those cards get out there. Jessie got one, and so did Al. Now I hear that his "O" ness got one too. I knew I couldn't trust that Negro.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Silly season.

Now that Mr. Morton has introduced Brittany and Paris into the presidential campaign, and Luda has injected himself with a rap song about Hillary and Mr. Morton ("O" man why did you feel a need to apologize for what some rapper did?Mr. Morton didn't apologize for Toby Keith's song about lynching), we can finally say that the political silly season is firmly on its way.

And honestly, just what the hell was Mr. Morton's camp thinking? Do they really think splicing images of Paris and Brittany in their campaign commercial will hurt the "O" man with voters? Hello? Do they not realize that most A-merry-cans have an IQ and an attention span equivalent to these two accidental icons, and would just as soon vote for one of them than either of the two candidates? Shit, this commercial will help not hurt Obama. Image, Mr. Morton, Image.

Okay Mr. Morton, I am going to try to help you here: Your people should have found a way to put images of Mike Tyson and O.J. in that commercial. (See Willie Horton, now that was brilliant.) Scare white folks by association, dirty up the race neutral one, and force A-merry-cans to associate him with some of those black men we despise and are afraid of. That's how you run a scare campaign. Not putting images of Brittany and Paris in your damn commercial. What the fuck? Are you trying to become president or show that you are plugged into the MTV generation?

And another thing Mr. Morton: Keep trying to paint his "O" ness as an uppity Negro. Here in A-merry-ca there is nothing we hate more than uppity Negroes. If you are going to be an uppity Negro you had better not be running for political office. You better have your own business and you damn sure better not depend on folks in the majority to keep your business afloat. A-merry-cans did not like the "O" man's European Vacation (boy what the hell do you mean you are a "world citizen"? You are an A-merry-can damn it, start acting like one) and the polls show that. Hell, even so called respected reporters over at the Washington Post are starting to cast the "O" man as an egomaniacal uppity Negro. (They took the quote out of context to fit their story, but that's a whole different issue) So keep playing on that, and watch how the polls tighten.

Sorry Mr. Morton, no more tips for you from the field. You pay good money for the advice I just gave you for free. But I have a bet to win, and twice a week in the gym is all I can do right now. Please don't force me to go anymore than that.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Toby, I think you have a hit on your hands.

A-merry-cans are fed up with crime folks, and pretty soon criminal defense lawyers like moi are going to go out of business. Why? Because A-merry-cans are starting to take the law into their own hands, that's why. Just like back in the day when the good old boys dispensed justice from the nearest tree (mostly on those Negroes for supposedly looking at their women), we have come full circle to a time when the sons and grand sons of those good ole boys are doing the dirty deeds, and making hit records about it.

In case you missed it, or didn't bother to check the link, that was red state heart throb, and the redneck rocker, Toby Keith, singing about lynching folks; and on "Comedy Central" no less. Seems he misses those "strange fruits" that used to hang from those Southern trees.

So when I see stories like the one about Ronnie White , who was murdered in his cell before going to trial. Or the one about Baron Pikes ,who was tasered to death while handcuffed in police custody, there is no way you can tell me that it's safe to be in the hands of the law anymore. ---And if you don't think that police shootings are up for a reason think again. I talk to some of these knuckle heads on a regular basis, and don't for a minute think that they aren't thinking the same thing.--- Yes sir, law enforcement has taken on a whole new meaning these days. And let's make no mistake folks, I am all for enforcing the law to the fullest; if the person accused of breaking it goes through the proper legal process. This is why we are a nation of laws right? We are a nation of laws aren't we?..... Oh, no, I take that back. We can't be. Not when the folks in the executive branch of our government are breaking laws left and right, and endorsing shit like torture. If the president and his staff is doing it, why shouldn't some small town cop, or a bunch of red necks, full of "Jack", and pissed off because Dale Jr. just lost the latest 500? And if they decide to take out the local uppity Negro; tough luck Negro, watch your mouth next time. Here in A-merry-ca we are fed up with crime and uppity Negroes. Ask Obama to save you.

"Grandpappy told my pappy back in my day, son A man had to answer for the wicked that he'd done Take all the rope in Texas Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys Hang them high in the street For all the people to see..."

Okay Toby, I hear ya. I bet your "Grandpappy" would be proud of A-merry-ca today.

Monday, July 28, 2008


Okay, now that "Vanity Fair"has decided to spoof the McCains (when will it end?) with a take off of the "New Yorker" cover, are you Obamaholics going to be just as outraged at them? That is the Constitution in the fire place (wait, I thought satire wasn't supposed to be true the republicans did trash the Constitution.) That is the frat boy's picture on the wall. That is Mr. Morton with a walker, and that is his wife with a bunch of pills... wait a minute, all of this shit they are showing has some truth to it, so is it really satire?

I never thought I would find myself agreeing with a writer from "The American Conservative", But Daniel Larison makes an interesting point:

"No doubt, there will be a hue and cry about “ageism.” The thing that seems strange to me is that every time someone tries to do a McCain parody of the now-infamous New Yorker cover, they end up denying the intention and context of the satire that they are parodying. There is essentially nothing in this image that is not an exaggeration, or just a representation, of things that are true about John McCain: he is old, his wife once had a problem with prescription drugs, he is closely aligned with George Bush and he does support policies that violate the Constitution. As a caricature, it works quite well. As a parody of an image that is supposed to be mocking absurd claims about the Obamas, it completely fails, because the point of the New Yorker image is supposed to be that everything in it is ludicrous and false and obviously so and, more to the point, it is supposed to be exaggerating the absurd claims to their most extreme form. (The problem with the original image, as I’ve said before, is that it did not exaggerate the claims, but simply repeated them.)"

Yes Vanity Fair did come up kind of lame, it's never good to be the second one out the box with something like this. But just as I wrote about the "New Yorker" cover, I think "Vanity Fair" has every right to publish this spoof of the McCains on theirs or on their web site. Of course they may have some other issues as well, with some folks crying copy cat; but that's on them.

I wonder how the repukelicans will react to this? After all, they were all over you Obamaholics to grow some and stop whining. Let's see if they take their own advise. Of course the "New Yorker" cover was clearly a lie, this one; not so much. And you know what they say: "the truth hurts."

Sunday, July 27, 2008

What I meant was.....

"Rather than engage in divisive ballot initiatives, we must have a dialogue and cooperation and mutual efforts together to provide every child in America to fulfill their expectations,"

That was Mr. Morton back in 1998 speaking out against an Arizona resolution to end affirmative action. Ahhh what a difference a decade makes. Today I read this little piece about the always salty one:

"..McCain, speaking on ABC's "This Week," said he backs a proposed ballot initiative in his home state of Arizona that would prohibit affirmative action policies by state and local governments."

Okay Mr. Morton, if you want to follow Ward Coonerly down that road, that's on you. But the flip flopping to get elected is troubling. I thought you said that the "O" man is the flip flopper? Don't tell me that you too will lie and parse words just to get elected. I guess you are no different than the "O" man then huh Senator? And to think I thought republicans were above such things.

But let's see how many people notice your latest pancake toss and comment on it. I bet not much, you talk about the press being in love with his "O" ness, but Senator, I gotta say; you get more passes thrown your way than a Vegas stripper.

Oh, and another thing: can you get a cohesive message and stick to it? All you did all week was attack and swipe at his "O" ness. You are starting to come off like a bitter and miserable old man. Well, you are a bitter and miserable old man, and senile to boot (yes that microphone is upside down in the picture that goes along with this post ), and you are making people start to notice that about you. Meanwhile, his "O" ness is back in all his sartorial splendor (Did you see that suit today?), trying to look presidential and saying all the right things.

"I am a strong supporter of affirmative action when properly structured so there it is not a quota, but it is acknowledging and taking into account some of the hardships and difficulties that communities of color may have experienced, continue to experience, and it also speaks to the value of diversity in all walks of American life,..."

Nice! Mr. Morton, you should be taking notes.

Dear God.

Since it's Sunday I feel comfortable talking about the next subject.

It seams the "O" man slipped a note to god while visiting the "Western Wall" in Jerusalem. The "O" man asked god to"forgive him of his sins" and help him to "guard against pride and despair." He also asked the lord to "protect" his "family". Nothing wrong with that. As most folks know I am not very religious, but for those of us who are, and who want to ask their Creator for certain things, I have no problem with that.

But here is the tragedy: Some sick bastard (actually, a Jewish seminary student) took the "O" man's note and gave it to the Israeli newspaper,"Maariv" who published it for the world to see. I still can't figure out how he did that, he must have been watching the "O" man like a hawk. I am sure FOX was probably paying him to dig up dome shit on his "O" ness.

Now I am sorry, but some things just go beyond the pale. A written prayer is stolen and published? That is some seriously fucked up shit. Isn't a prayer supposed to be as personal as it gets? For a seminary student, of all people, to steal the "O" man's note and to take it a step further and give it to a newspaper, is unfathomable to me. I thought religion was supposed to be serious business and personal between human beings and their god. Aparently not when you are running for president of these divded states. The irony is that most of the folks who want to bring down the "O" man are supposedly the ones who love god the most. But I guess it's their god, not the "O" mans. So personal notes and rayers aren't allowed. Poor god might be stuck reading all these requests from people who don't really mater

But this seminary student was hoping to find some incriminating shit in the note, but no such luck.

"Forgive me my sins, and help me guard against pride and despair. Give me the wisdom to do what is right and just."

Nope, nothing wrong with that, the man seems sincere and humble.

But can you imagine if the "O" man had come clean and written some personal and potentially damaging stuff? Lord forgive me for that tryst with Scarlett, and for wishing all those bad things on brother Jessie...... But the "O" man must have known, even as he sat there in the King David Hotel and penned his little note to god on the hotel stationary. He knew that there was a chance that some weasel would be watching him, and would grab his note to god.

Now there are actually handwriting experts trying to figure out what he really meant. "When he wrote 'forgive me' there was too much space between forgive and me, so he probably doesn't feel he needs to be forgiven" Damn "O" man! You can't even write your god a letter without folks scrutinizing you.

Oh well, they took your note, but look at the bright side. If god is omnipotent, he/she already knows what you wrote. Still, he/she probably should have made the ink disappear as soon as they touched it.

Now that would have given them something to talk about.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Time to split!

I know you all see all the shit that's going on over in Belgium. Now, thanks to the language and cultural differences between two regions, there is serious talk of splitting the country in two. I am sure the folks in places like Canada and Nigeria can relate. (Remember Biafra?)

So anyway, I was thinking; after listening to the comments from black folks about the "Black In America" series, and the frustration that most of us obviously feel about being black in America, that it's time to really just designate a bunch of states to black folks and just ship us off so that we can form our own union.

Just think, no more blaming whitey for shit. No more having to hear whitey tell us about all the shit that they gave us. (Of course they would have to give us a little sum em sum em to start us off with. I say find a way to give us 13% of the GDP since we make up 13% of the population and send us on our way.) No more fucked up credit. (We could start our own credit rating system) We could finally whup our kids in peace without whitey threatening to take them away. And we could make some serious doggy steaks for ourselves when we get sick of our pets. And don't worry about the taste, I bet we would learn to like that shit. The Koreans eat it, and they look just fine to me. Field that's a racist statement. Why? It's true. I eat the hell out of some curry goat, and so do most Jamaicans I know. And guess what? Some people might think that's worse than eating dogs. (But I digress)

Now, of course, there would some logistical issues to work out: like where would we put the United States Of Black America and where would our capital be? (I will give you a hint: it wouldn't be Detroit or Cleveland.) Obviously the East Coast or the South would be the logical choice, because so many of us already live here. But then, all your Ivy League schools are on the East Coast, and I am sure white folks wouldn't want them to go to waste. Then there is Wall Street,The Liberty Bell, The Statute Of Liberty, The U.S. Mint....forget it, we ain't getting the East Coast. The South? That wouldn't be a bad choice for us. We already eat the food, and white folks don't have any serious land marks in the South. It would be their way of coming full circle. Hey you folks in the South wanted to secede, well, here is your chance. But now that I think about it, they wouldn't give us that either. White folks love the warm weather and the beaches,and they like to take their families to Disney World. I think we would waste that too. We don't have too many families.

Looks like we have to head West. Of course we can't go too far, because places like California, Arizona, and Utah are out of the question. Field, why Utah? Skiing. White folks love their skiing. I figure four fair sized states ought to do it. I am thinking they would want to send us somewhere in the heartland, since there isn't shit there. Places like North and South Dakota. (Hmmmm, the "Black Hills"), and maybe throw in states like Kansas and Nebraska to the mix. Yeah those states are right in the middle of the country, so whitey can keep an eye on us, and they can fly over us when they have to get from one part of white A-merry-ca to the other, without touching down. Kind of like the frat boy did after Katrina.

"But field what about the interracial couples? What about the house Negroes who wouldnever leave white A-merry-ca?" Hmmm, that's a good point, I never thought of that. I see my plan still has some kinks in it . Although I was thinking, just like they do in Israel, a black could petition the black government of the USOBA to allow their white or non black wife to live in the USOBA. And I suppose the house Negroes could stay. Lord knows that they would only stir up trouble in our new homeland. And we don't need that.

I think we can do this. And all you sports fans, stop worrying, you will still be able to watch your favorite black athlete. We will allow them to leave the USOBA to compete for their teams. As long as they bring their black asses home after the season, and unlike their athletic brothers now, they leave those white women alone. We don't need them pissing off Uncle Sam. We wouldn't' want to end up like the folks in Iraq. You see how Uncle Sam fucked them up, and look how far away they are.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

"Who is watching 'Black In America'"?

"Field, are you watching[or going to watch] that series on CNN, about being black in A-merry-ca?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that question, I would be moving into Will Smith's zip code. And guess what? Half the people asking me are white. To them, I always say, "no I am not watching it, I already know what it's like to be black in A-merry-ca". Which always gets a nervous laugh. To the black folks, I always say, "yeah I am checking it out, and I will reserve judgement until I see the last segment."

But then I read an excellent article from Karen Hunter, and I found myself agreeing with her, and getting a little judgemental.

Even though I admire what Soledad and the folks at CNN are trying to do, for some reason I am not quite feeling what the ultimate effects of this series will be. White folks looking from a distance as if they are watching just another reality show. And black folks who care and are already trying to improve their lives and communities, watching to try and understand why our community is always coming up short.

Here is Ms.Hunter's article:

"Who is watching “Black in America” on CNN? I ask the question because it was raging inside of me as I listened to pundits and experts, educators and pastors, business professionals and actors—all attempting to make sense and give shape to what it means to be black in America.
I asked the very same question after Tavis Smiley produced the “The Covenant with Black America” a few years ago. That book sold millions of copies, and was the topic of quite a few talk shows.

And this CNN “special” will probably be one the highest rated shows on the network ever. But I again I ask who is watching?

Is Shaniqua living in a tenement in Brooklyn with five babies by five different “men” watching? Is James, who stands on a corner in Baltimore selling crack cocaine to his community watching? T-Bone, a Blood from South Central and his boys and rival Crips from cross-town, are they watching? Janice, who dropped out of Somerville High School in Massachusetts, will she be tuning in?

I doubt it. And here in lies the problem with shows like “Black in America,” and books like “The Covenant with Black America” they don’t reach the people who need to hear and read it most. The people who need to change, probably won’t be tuning in—which is why years after the Million Man March and years after The Covenant with Black America and years after Black in America, nothing will change. "

I think I agree with a lot of what she said. But are we shooting the messenger once again?
I am watching as I write this, and Soledad is talking about crack. This time it's a has-been actor from the Cosby show playing grown up black man. "If you don't want to go to jail, don't take crack. Gee, I wonder how many crack dealers are listening?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Yes Katie, it's me again!

"People are 'scratching' their heads about your opposition to the surge..."

Really Katie? Well people are scratching their heads and wondering why you didn't question Mr. Morton on getting the timeline wrong regarding the surge. In fact, people are "scratching" their heads and wondering just why the hell your network did an edit job to make Mr. Morton look good.

"Katie Couric: Senator McCain, Senator Obama says, while the increased number of US troops contributed to increased security in Iraq, he also credits the Sunni awakening and the Shiite government going after militias. And says that there might have been improved security even without the surge. What's your response to that?

McCain: I don't know how you respond to something that is as-- such a false depiction of what actually happened. Colonel MacFarland was contacted by one of the major Sunni sheiks. Because of the surge we were able to go out and protect that sheik and others. And it began the Anbar awakening. I mean, that's just a matter of history.

In fact, as Spencer Ackerman and Ilan Goldenberg have reported, the record firmly establishes the opposite: instead of being caused by the surge, the key signs of the Anbar Awakening occurred not only before that strategy was implemented, but before it was ever conceived."

Yes Katie, I am on that ass again tonight (Not literally of course; you are not my type). And you wonder why your ratings are tanking? Like WTF? I expect shit like this from FOX, not a so called real news organization. Look, I know you have some hard feelings for the "O" man, but on your way out the damn door, could you at least try to preserve a shred of dignity?

And why is this not a major news story? Can you imagine if CNN or NBC had edited an interview of his "O" ness to cover up a gaffe? You would try to turn off your fucking T.V. and Rupert Murdoch would find a way to turn it on again. The shit would be wall to wall coverage.

Instead, we have Alan Greenspan's wife (who has probably been to more plastic surgeons than her husband has years on his hoary body. And that's saying something), and Katie Couric bit....(whoops I can't use that word when referring to women) whining about the lack of access to his "O" ness, while he is on his world tour. (More on that in a minute) Katie, get over that shit, and try to do a good job when you do land a big interview. Here is a nice little start for you: try telling your damn producers not to edit what your interviewee says next time. Just a thought. Since you are reporting the news, and not making a fucking movie.

Now as for that world tour the "O"man is on: Yo "O" man, a word of advise from your friendly neighborhood field Negro: Stop acting like you are already the president of these divided states. In case you didn't notice, you are not flying on Air Force One; so calm the fuck down, and tell your aides to do the same. There is nothing white folks hate more that an uppity Negro. And I know you want their votes ( You have been throwing everything black under the bus to get it. Has anyone seen my blackberry? Ahh sorry Senator, you threw it under the bus. Don't you remember? .....let me stop.), so you might want to chill a little bit. I know you are not here to hear it, but they have been talking. And your opponent damn near told the rest of A-merry-ca that you care more about becoming president than what's best for A-merry-ca, and no one in the media is saying shit about it; because, I suspect, that there is a black-lash building up against you.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your trip. And stay away from Katie and Andrea.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Poor Katie. Now that we have gotten rid of racism she wants us to work on our sexism.

I was going to post about the "Breck" Boy's alleged affair and love child tonight, but then I saw the following little gem from A-merry-ca's sweetheart:

"The corporate pressure and the ratings terror are intensifying all the time, and the situation is not simple. I find myself in the last bastion of male dominance, and realizing what Hillary Clinton might have realized not long ago: that sexism in the American society is more common than racism, and certainly more acceptable or forgivable. In any case, I think my post and Hillary's race are important steps in the right direction."

Here we go again. Why do I even bother with this fight. No no no Katie, sexism is only more common in A-merry-ca if you happen to be a woman and you are black. Got it? I know your ratings are tanking and you have to make excuses for your network, but come on now. If sexism is killing your ratings why are all those women watching ABC, NBC, and not you? I will tell you why: because you might just happen to suck at this gig.

Look, I acknowledge that there is sexism in A-merry-ca, but more so than racism? I don't think so. But to prove my point I would like to see this little experiment: A white woman walks around the grandstands at a NASCAR event and we put a hidden microphone on many of the male spectators. Then we have a black male walk around the same grandstands, and we do our hidden microphone trick with him. I wonder what kind of results we would get? Care to wonder about that for a minute? Oh field stop picking on NASCAR, you are always picking on the NASCAR crowd. Okay, let's change that. Let's take damn near any large group of people in the majority and try our little experiment. I guarantee you that the results wouldn't be much different.

But I guess this is where we are now that Hillary has lost to a black man. All of a sudden they like the black people more than they like us, because they elected him. Sexism is everywhere. Well where the hell was it before Hillary decided to run and get her ass kicked by the narrow Negro from the Chi.? Come on Katie, A-merry-ca elected Kennedy, the Catholic, over Nixon, the Quaker; does that mean that A-merry-ca loves Catholics more than Quakers? No, it means that they thought that the only Catholic ever elected President would do a better job. But not for the black man. God forbid we actually thought he could do a better job. No, we elected him because he is not a woman, and we are more sexist than we are racist in this country. Yeah Okay.

But enough about Katie. She is yesterday's news (No pun intended).

There is far more serious shit going on in I wonder if that story with the Breck Boy is really true?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Watch out for those gays, they are coming to an adoption center near you.

“I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no, I don’t believe in gay adoption....”

Hmmm, that's pretty straight talk there Mr.Morton. Seems like you are just another phony ass republican who likes to moralize from your high horse, and to stick your neck into other people's private lives. You don't believe in "gay adoptions"? Well who the fuck died and made you the moral authority of such things? I don't like to see mofos in short sleeve dress shirts, but that ain't none of my damn business if someone chooses to wear them. "Both parents"? I thought gay couples were just that, a couple.

But I see your peeps trying to wiggle out of this one, they must have realized how totally ignorant your little statement sounds to the rest of us with a brain. See, this is what happens when you have been a republican all your life. You think things like gay couples living together, leading totally normal lives, adopting children; and being some of the most productive citizens in our society, is the stuff of movie scripts. It's not. It's the kind of shit that is happening all over the country and in places like Philly every day. I know some of those people, and they are doing a hell of a job raising their children. And you want to be president? Damn! What's scary is that in my heart, I believe that you are going to win, no matter how fucked up and insane you are. Because at the end of the day; A-merry-cans will not let that narrow Negro with the funny name be their leader. So it looks like you are it. But the thought of four more years with a leader who thinks the way you do, is terrifying.

"John McCain could have been clearer in the interview in stating that his position on gay adoption is that it is a state issue, just as he made it clear in the interview that marriage is a state issue,’’ Tucker Bounds, a campaign spokesman, said in a statement.“He was not endorsing any federal legislation.’’

First of all motherfucker, your name is "Tucker", so I am not going to believe a damn thing you say. It's that simple. Like we don't know that Mr. Straight talk said exactly what he means. But nice try, I think most people know where your boy stands, and I actually think it will help him with a large segment of the A-merry-can population, so relax. The folks over at FOX will make a hero out of him for this too. See, that's the difference between him and Obama, he tells the truth, and he wants to bring back good old American family values. Oh, you mean the one with the high divorce rate, and the fucked up dysfunctional families? Those family values?

But not to worry Mr. Morton, those blind ideologues will stand behind you no matter what. Ideology over principal, that's the A-merry-can way.

Patrick Sammon, the president of Log Cabin Republicans, a gay Republican group, said in a statement: “We are pleased that Senator McCain clarified the remarks and we thank the Senator for once again re-iterating his belief that issues concerning marriage and family laws should be left up to the states — not the federal government.”

Gee, I guess every group has their version of a house Negro.

Sunday, July 20, 2008


I was listening to Howard Fineman on "The Chris Matthews" show this morning, and he said something that almost caused me to fall off my sofa. I don't know why I didn't think about it before. But In essence (and I am paraphrasing here) he said that after two terms in the White House, with a shady run up to the war, and who knows what kind of secrets with the oil companies, the last thing republicans will want in the White House is a democratic administration with subpoena powers. I agree. I mean can you imagine all the skeletons in those vast closets? The repubs desperately need another republican administration after the frat boy leaves, and the prospect of an Obama presidency has to be absolutely terrifying to them.

Which leads me to another reason for this post: Did you see where Mr. Morton breached some serious security protocol by giving away security details of the "O" man's trip to the Middle East? Yep, he did it. And you really have to wonder just what the hell he was thinking. Well, you can wonder, but I know what he was thinking.

"'I believe that either today or tomorrow -- and I'm not privy to his schedule -- Sen. Obama will be landing in Iraq with some other senators who make up a congressional delegation,' MCain told a campaign fund-raising luncheon."

Translated: If any of you hostile Iraqis or Al Qaeda folks want to take out that narrow Negro, let me see if I can help you with that...

"If it is true that Obama is going to Iraq this weekend, it is a very serious mistake for McCain to have disclosed it publicly. Even for run-of-the-mill CODELs the military gives guidance like, "Please strongly discourage Congressional offices from issuing press releases prior to their trips which mention their intent to travel to the AOR and/or the dates of that travel or their scheduled meetings. Such releases are a serious compromise to OPSEC." If Obama is going to Iraq this weekend, I can not begin to imagine how much this is complicating the security planning for the trip.

It's known that Obama is leaving on his foreign trip this weekend and the Journal OpEd page this morning said that Obama could arrive in Iraq "as early as this weekend." And with a slew of reporters in tow, it's not exactly highly classified information. But there is a reason definite information about these sorts of trips aren't released in advance.

Hypothetically, maybe McCain was just guessing. But even so it would still be a serious lapse of judgment on his part."

"Lapse of judgement"? Don't be so sure. I mean I know Mr. Morton is old, but come on now, he is a military man, he understands how sensitive this kind of stuff is. Especially when he went through the exact same thing. Didn't Mr. Morton get pissed off at the press for outing his son?

Yes, I think he did.

And somewhere in Chicago Michelle Obama is sitting there thinking; that maybe she shouldn't have given her husband her blessings to run for Prez. Not when his political opponent is giving away his location to the enemy for all the world to hear. "Oh field, stop playing into fears and reckless paranoia. Obama will have plenty of protection from the secret service and the U.S. military. America will make sure that he is well protected.... "

Yeah, I am sure they will. And I am sure that everyone of the republicans are praying for his safe return.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The "headturner", and the peek.

"The way that people respond to summer madness The weather is hot and girls are dressing less And checking out the fellas to tell em whos best..."

~~~Summertime/ Will Smith~~~

Warning, this post is going to seem sexist to those of you who look for such things. So if you are one of those people, you might want to stop reading right now and catch me at my next post.

So anyhoo, as most of you might or might not know there is a serious heatwave engulfing Philly right about now. Today I was in the mall with Mrs Field, and as is usually the case, a promise that we would be in and out took damn near two hours. But today I didn't mind; it's hot outside and...well Will's song says it all. It was that kind of day in the mall. ("Hey, just because I am on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu")

Now I am with the little Mrs. and the last thing you will ever want to do as a man is to disrespect your wife or whoever you are with by looking at another woman when you are in her presence. ---At least to the point of being obvious about it----Okay we all look, buy we sure are good at that shit aren't we? I mean we can damn near size up an entire mall area without turning our heads or even moving our eyes that much. Yet I bet we can describe every dime piece that came within 200 feet of our trained eyes. I suspect, too, that (at least in my case) the little lady knows, but as long as the look isn't too obvious, she lets you get away with that shit.

Now, of course, this all goes out the window when the "headturners" come into the equation. The "headturners" are those females who just make it damn near impossible to control the peek. This is the dime piece that is fellows you know what I am talking about. This is the one that will force that ever so slight head turn. And you brothers reading this know exactly what will cause the head to turn. You know you do. You white guys, maybe not so much. But I am pretty sure that there is a different part of the female anatomy which causes your heads to turn. :)

So anyhoo, this young lady was walking towards Mrs. Field and I, and I could tell even from looking at her from the front what her (as we say in the islands ) "bumpa" was going to look like. Fellows, don't act like it's just me, you know exactly what I am talking about and what I was thinking.

So I was trying my damnedest not to seem like I notice, or to seem interested. I was looking at every damn sign on every store in the mall. I was looking at the fountain, the escalator, the kiosks, anything but this damn female walking towards us. "You now you want to look Field, so go ahead. She is pretty." This is the other part of this phenomenon that I forgot to mention: If the woman is really all that, your significant other will notice her too, and this will make it very difficult for you to front at this point. This is because she knows damn well that you are looking, even if she can't tell with the naked eye. "Look at what?" "Negro stop playing, you know you saw that girl, and she is pretty. I wouldn't blame you for looking at her." "Oh, her? Yeah I guess she is alright, nothing to write home about, I wouldn't even have noticed her if you didn't say anything." No matter how often I get the head-pop, I can never see it coming. And the surprise and the speed of it which Mrs Field has become so proficient at doing it, always makes it [the pop] hurt just a little more.

Okay, there was just one "head turner" today. Fortunately for me, Mrs. Field didn't have to play Roger Federer with the back of my head anymore. I will survive. Still, the entire time that I was in the mall, I was thinking that maybe global warming isn't such a bad thing after all.

Ward's world! Ward's world!

I recently saw the following article featuring an interview with one of my favorite "slave catchers", Ward Connerly. Good ole Ward is determined to end affirmative action, because in Ward's world we just don't need it anymore. A-merry-ca is so beyond that.

Here is my man Ward sharing some of his thoughts with the Arizona Republic:

"Republic: Are we at a time in our nation when the playing field is level, providing equal opportunity to all? Or is there still racism working against certain individuals of certain ethnic groups?

Connerly: I don't think that we're at that ideal place where there is absolute equality. I'm not sure that we ever will be. I don't think that it should be the standard by which we decide whether the government should treat people as equals, however. . . . But I look around my country and I see that ... a multiracial male (Barack Obama) stands a very, very good chance of being the next president of the United States. To me, that says a lot about the country.

If we're willing to turn over the red box to someone, and we're willing to disregard their gender or where their ancestors came from or the color of their skin, that says to me we're probably willing to admit them into college without worrying about the color of their skin and we're probably willing to hire them without worrying about the color of their skin.

So, while we're not at the point where everything is now level - it's certainly not level for someone who is low-income Black, or from Mexico who doesn't speak good English and living in the low-income section of south central Los Angeles or Phoenix or wherever, it's not level for them - I think, for the most part, it's an economic problem.

And we need to do more dealing with this widening gap between the haves and have-nots. I'd like to see us do more, and ironically - maybe not ironically - the demise of race preferences in California has done more to benefit low-income people of different backgrounds than race preference ever did because now the university, through its comprehensive review system, is giving special attention to those who are faced with social-economic problems. Social-economic affirmative action, I support.

Republic: Are you concerned perhaps about some of the success of the initiatives is attributable to some of the voters who are racist or acting out in backlash for what they feel as being victims of reverse discrimination, whether real or imagined?

Connerly: Yeah, they are there, but I think that clearly they are in the minority. They're there. I'm always concerned about that, and I certainly want nothing to do with them.
The opposition has its monsters, also, who are saying, "Let's get even. It's our time. It's our turn. Let's get even." The way I reconcile that is, a broken clock is right twice a day. And if there are those who have foul motives but happen to agree with me but for the wrong reasons, they're still agreeing with the principle.

I have more confidence in the majority and the will of the majority than I do fear of that very small minority who are saying they support this because they want to retard the progress of people of color. I certainly don't run away from my belief because other people share that belief but for the wrong reasons. When you start looking at the motives of other people, you reach a point where you drive yourself crazy. . . . I once said to someone, "If the KKK supports this language, then God bless them." And then that became the headline: "Connerly says God bless the Klan."

What I was saying is I want everyone to believe in the idea that everyone should be treated equally. (If) you vote for this initiative, you're saying that you believe in it.

Republic: Have we reached racial advancements and milestones in this nation partly because of affirmative action? Would we be where we are today without affirmative action?

Connerly: I think I could make a strong case that we'd be further. I think that on the front end, affirmative action - race-based affirmative action - changed the culture in a way that would not have happened at that point without some sort of affirmative action. Lyndon Johnson's version of affirmative action, which came after the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was signed, was sort of like taking a swimming pool that is filled with algae and throwing in a big dose of chlorine to get the algae out of there. You couldn't do it by introducing a speckling of chlorine in that pool, you've got to throw in a heavy dosage to get that algae out of there. That's what race-based affirmative action did originally.

But you don't keep throwing in the same dosage every month. If you do, then you don't want to go in that water. We've reached a point where we've gotten the algae out, now just leave it alone. Maybe put in a little here and there, maybe. . . . So I think that affirmative action has built in a certain dependency on the part of a segment of Black America that is a disease worse than the cure that we set out to achieve. If we had not gone with race-based affirmative action but had focused instead on getting rid of discrimination, I think that we would not have to unring the bell, if you will, of some of these other problems.

Republic: Is there the perception of someone of color or a female who is successful - say, a top manager of a company - that he or she is solely the beneficiary of affirmative action and thereby diminishing any efforts and achievement?

Connerly: Absolutely. In any area of public policy there is a point of diminishing returns. You especially see this in this area here. Affirmative action starts out to remove the barriers of discrimination, something that logically and obviously ought to have happened. . . . But then, there are some people - Black people, Latinos, women, quote, minorities - who do excel. They rise to the top.

But the paradigm that exists, that women and minorities are targeted for equal opportunity, that very paradigm begins to imperil their progress because they're marginalized by the perception that they are the products of affirmative action. . . .

The very system that is designed to provide equality becomes its own crippler because it marginalizes people. . . . The worst thing that they do, those people who say they are a proud product of affirmative action, is that they perpetuate that mind-set that if it were not for affirmative action, they would not be there. That's the point of diminishing returns that we've reached in this whole area. We marginalize and we retard the progress of those who do it on the natural. We reached this point of diminishing returns probably about 15 years ago.

Okay Ward obviously has some issues. But I do believe that affirmative action as it is used in schools, for instance, should not just consider the race of an individual, but their economic background and other factors as well. For instance, given certain criterias,a poor white applicant from Appalachia being raised in a single family home, should probably get preference over a black applicant from a wealthy family with both parents at home. So we shouldn't do away with affirmative action, we should expand it. Contrary to what Ward believes, A-merry-ca just isn't at that color blind state yet. We still have a glass ceiling in this country when it comes to the business world for women and minorities, and 3 in 10 Americans still have a racial bias towards blacks.

Those are the facts Ward, and doing away with affirmative action won't change them, it will only make them worse.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

White people please just say no to the "N" word.

So now that we know what the FAKE NEWS people have on Jessie (seems he dropped the "N" word while talking about his "O"ness), I want to talk about this issue for a minute. Not Jessie, he is irrelevant as far as black folks are concerned. So the FAKE NEWS folks can go ahead knock themselves out with their tape of Jessie saying "nigger" while talking to another black man, that is a none issue with moi. ---although I do recall the good Rev. condemning the use of the "N" word.-- So Jessie is a hypocrite, tell us something we don't know.

No, tonight I want to ask my white friends who are regulars to the fields to give me a little insight into the white psyche. Here is my question: Why do some white folks get upset because black folks can use the word "nigger" to each other, and they can't? (At least not in public) Honestly, what's up with that shit? Today on the "View" they almost came to blows because the conservative co-host (Elisabeth Hasselbeck) wanted to know what's up with the double standard? "How are we supposed to move forward if we keep using words that bring back that pain?" She wanted to know. Don't worry Elisabeth, we have moved on from the word. So much so that we call each other the word now. We don't have to do shit. You just try not to use it, and we will be cool. And of course I have to give props to the sisters on the view. They were not pleased. Whoppie and girlfriend had the look didn't they? Sisters you know the one. The one that says I am about to take off these earrings and slip off these pumps, and "commence" to start whooping (no pun intended) on that ass any minute now.

But the shit is frustrating. White folks, I know it seems unfair, but there are just some things some people can say that you can't. Well, you can, but at your own risk; if you know what I mean. I don't care how close you think you are to your black friend, do not fuck up and call him [or her] that word. Look, I have quite a few Italian friends, and I don't for a minute think that I can call them the "G" or the "D" word, I just don't. In fact, the shit never crossed my mind. And contrary to what I have heard people say in the past, other ethnics do use slurs to describe each other, and you don't hear us black folks going around saying; Why is it okay for you people to call each other names but it's wrong if we do it?

Now personally, I have used the word in the past, but it's no longer a part of my vocabulary (unless I am writing something to make a point) . But the word doesn't bother me like it does some people (unless a white person says it), and I laugh my ass off at comedians like Kat Williams when they use it ---So sue me--. I have seen proprietors of some blogs lose their natural minds if someone slips up and uses the word, and I always have to wonder why. Is it because they are afraid that some white folks will say that they read it on their blogs, and now it's open season on the "N" word? Give me a break.

Look, if you don't like the word, or if it offends you, don't use it. But please folks, don't give white folks a pass to use it because other black folks use it to each other. And when certain white folks(present company excluded of course) get mad at black folks for using the word because they can't use it, what does that tell you? I will tell you what it tells me: It tells me that they want to use it on your black ass, but they can't, because it isn't PC. And that's just so frustrating. It's a double standard field, you know it is. No one should be allowed to use the word, black or white. If it's a bad word, it's a bad word when black people use it, and when white people use it, why differentiate. And all that sounds so logical that I almost don't have a come back for it.......almost.

It is a double standard, but folks in the majority created it. They used the word against us for years. Used it to demean belittle, and to humiliate. Now it's not cool for them to use it anymore because society would like to keep such things hidden away. Oh, some of you still say it, but never in public. And now black folks use it too, but to each other. And in most cases as a term of endearment, and for whatever reason, for many black folks, (especially the younger ones) it has become damn near a part of their language. So now you are upset, because you see some of us using it, and you wonder why you can't use it too.

But hey, you can still use the word if you are so inclined. It's a free country. Just be careful, because you never know who might be listening.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

You can't live the A-merry-can dream if you are dead.

All the investigators found was a 380 caliber handgun, $12 in cash, a baseball cap, and a bag of T-shirts in a trash bin. They are till looking for the animals who took Anissi Ndeumajado's life, and critically injured his wife.

Years ago Ndeumajado immigrated to this country from West Africa. He started a small business selling T-shirts under a tent. He worked hard, saved his money, and sent some back home to his family in Mali. He was also finally able to send back home for his wife, who joined him here ten years ago.

Yesterday, in broad daylight, two animals took his life and critically injured his poor wife. Mr. Ndeumajado was in his store with his wife when shortly after 1:30PM, the two punks came inside and tried to rob them. Instead, the men ---who are believed to be between the ages of 16-20---ended up shooting the poor man, killing him on the spot, and critically injuring his wife, who staggered outside the store before collapsing.

Obviously, the shooting left the community and Mr. Ndeumajado's tight circle of friends, devastated. Here was a man who came to this country, worked hard---by all accounts he would work seven days a week in his store---, and tried his damnedest to pursue the A-merry-can dream. It's a shame that these two animals had to take it away from him on a hot July afternoon. And let me say this right now: I am somewhat familiar with the Philadelphia business climate, and I guarantee you that nothing was given to Mr. Ndeumajado that he didn't work hard for. I am sure that there were no handouts, no special privileges, and no hook ups. All the poor man had was a good work ethic and a dream.

"You couldn't meet a more beautiful couple. He came here to make a better life for him and his kids, that was his dream."

Oh yes the A-merry-can "dream." Everyone is trying to chase it, but it can be so elusive. No one told that to Mr. Ndeumajado. He needed to know that right on the other side of that dream was a nightmare. A nightmare in which cold blooded young killers who think they are owed what you worked your whole life for, decide that they will take it from you at the point of a gun. A nightmare where single mothers and grandmothers try to raise men, after some sperm donor made a deposit and kept getting up. A nightmare where our government spends billions of dollars to protect people half way around the world, but can't spend even half of that to protect their own people right here at home. All the jobs are gone to China, the schools are gone to the dogs, and nobody gives a damn.

" He never got robbed in all those years he was working in Kensington...They moved their store up here because they thought it would be safer, I can't believe this happened."

I can, and it will continue to happen until the type of shit that happens to hard working African immigrants, start happening to fresh faced blue eyed A-merry-cans.

So now you know about Anissi Ndeumajado. And unless you live in the Philly area, or you read this blog, you would never have heard about him; and more than likely, unless you come back to this post, you will never hear about him again.

Tonight I am angry. Angry at the people who lie to us everyday. Angry at the people who don't care. And angry at motherfuckers who turn people's dreams into nightmares.

**Story here**

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

"faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

I have this theory about religion: It's always easier to come to it, than to grow up with it. Having the dogmas from a particular religion passed down to you by your parents is not cool, and it more often or not leads to a sort of acceptance of religion as nothing more than some sort of ritualistic tradition. It's why us PK's (preacher's kids) tend to be the most spiritually bankrupt at times. And it's why we often struggle with the concept of faith and spirituality.

Which leads me to the "O" man (what am I going to do when you are gone?). The most recent Newsweek Magazine on the news stands, has an entire feature on the "O" man's faith and his religion. The article starts off by talking about the fact that at 20 years old, the "O" man was searching for the meaning of life. Now that should have told folks right then and there that the guy was destined for greatness. (Hell at 20 years old most of us were chasing the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are so inclined and just trying to have a good time.) According to the article, the "O" man was reading folks like Nietzche, Graham Greene, and Saint Augustine, to try and find the meaning of life. Wow!

The "O" man, as a youngster, was confused about religion, and who could blame him. Unlike most Christians who grew up in "traditional" environments when it comes to religion, the "O" man was born of a Christian mother who became secular, and a Muslim father who became an atheist. To me, this made his search for religions enlightenment all that more intriguing.

It's why this whole Trinity Baptist thing looks so suspect to so many people sometimes. Did the "O" man join Trinity only for political reasons and to make the right political connections? Or did he really have a spiritual conversion and felt moved to become a member of that church after some serious soul searching? And If he could take back Rev. Wright baptizing him, would he? (Okay I just threw that question in there)

In the Newsweek interview the "O" man opened up about what he believes about g.. [God], prayer, and about the connection between salvation and personal responsibility. Now I would never question a man's faith, or lack thereof, but these days faith and love of g.. [God] seems to be a central theme in the "O" man's campaign. We can only hope that his faith will lead us in the right direction if he is elected President. And the way the country is going, if he does become POTUS, he is going to need plenty of it, faith.

The "O" man told Newsweek that "he prays everyday in his personal life" and that he prays for forgiveness for all of his "flaws". Now that I like. A man who prays to try and help himself and not for selfish reasons. He said he prayed after he met his wife, and when he decided to run for President of these divided states. Those were both probably the biggest decisions of his life, so if you believe him, you have got to believe that prayer is high on his list of priorities. He said he "travels with his bible" , and he reads it during the evenings. He also said in the interview that it takes him out of the "immediacy" of his day and gives him time to reflect.....Okay, cool with me, as long as he doesn't "reflect" too long. He has a country to run, the "immediacy" is pretty damn important when so much is on the table. That was the frat boy's problem; taking too much damn time to reflect, (Every time I saw the son of a bitch he was either in church or on vacation on that ranch of his) and you see where that got us. I guess g..[God] doesn't like him too much. Maybe it has something to do with all those dead Iraqi children.

Speaking of children; the "O" man says he doesn't impose his faith on his children, and that he tried to let faith tap into what's already there. He, in essence, said that he wants his children to come to religion through their own intellectual curiosity. I suppose kind of like he did. And that's a good thing.

Just think if all the preachers out there had approached parenting on religion like the "O" man. I know one thing, if they did, we wouldn't have all these messed up PK's running around out here. :)

Monday, July 14, 2008


Tonight would have been a perfect time for me to post about Miss. America doing her own version of the "slip n slide" at the Miss. Universe Pageant, and how it's a perfect metaphor for so many things that's screwed up with our republic these days . But alas, I have some other things on my mind, mainly presidential politics and the latest bru ha ha over his "O" ness.

Now first, I am going to surprise a whole lot of people and say that I understand what the "New Yorker" was trying to do with their cover. It was meant to be satirical, and I might be the only black person that's not a republican in these divided states to see it as such. If anyone should be offended by this, it's Muslim A-merry-cans, but then I am sure that they are so used to facing prejudice on a daily basis, that a magazine cover lampooning the people that show them prejudice, probably isn't all that offensive to them. Even Mr. Morton's people have gotten into the act: " The New Yorker may think, as one of their staff explained to us, that their cover is a satirical lampoon of the caricature Sen. Obama's right-wing critics have tried to create. But most readers will see it as tasteless and offensive. And we agree." Yeah right, sure you do Mr. Burton. And I am quite sure that most of the people it's lampooning will be voting for your candidate. Of course, as is usually the case, you Obamaholics have been losing your natural minds over this dis from the rest of A-merry-ca.

But isn't this a case of shooting the messenger? If you Obamaholics don't think that a significant number of your fellow citizens feel that the idiotic caricature on the cover of this magazine is accurate, well then I have a nice little antique bell with a crack in it to sell you from my hometown. Which, if you believe the Editors of this magazine, was the point of the cover: To make fun of the ignorant folks in A-merry-ca who actually believe that the pic is an accurate portrayal of his "O" ness. Ahhh field, come on, if this was FOX you would be all over them. I smell a double standard here. If you smell double standard, you have a heck of a good nose, because it probably is on my part. You see it's like this: FOX has a history of doing ignorant and racist shit, and they cater to the very folks this magazine happens to be lampooning. The clowns over at FOX are the ones who gave us the terrorist fist pump, the intentional mispronunciation of Obama's name, and the studio pundits who make fun of his wife and call her angry. So you damn right that if this was FOX I would have been all over their backwards ass behinds, and I make no apologies for that.

But not these folks, they don't have that history. This is not Vogue, who tried to take a serious picture and came off looking just flat out stupid, racist, and insensitive. The "New Yorker Magazine" folks know that this picture looks stupid and insensitive, and that was their point. What is a shame is that this cover created such an uproar, because the article in the magazine--I wonder how many people actually read it-- was a pretty good one. It chronicled the "O" man's rise as a typical South side Chicago politician, and featured an interesting cast of characters who seemed all too familiar to me. If some of you Obamaholics read it, you will find that your boy is a politicians like all the rest of the politicians here in A-merry-ca. It doesn't mean he won't do a good job, or that he doesn't deserve our vote, but I swear that wasn't water I saw him walking on.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Watch your mouth around his "O" ness!

"We can't afford to be divided by race. We can't afford to be divided by region or by class and we can't afford to be divided by gender, which by the way, that means, Bernie, you've got to clean up your act next time,...... This is a family affair...."

That was the "O" man giving one of his standard political lines. Not to a community group, not to a bunch of policy wonks, but to Bernie Mac, a comedian....

Seems Bernie Mac opened for the "O" man and was less than a hit with the audience. I think the jokes were a little too raunchy for that crowd, and some took offense. One person in the audience even said it was offensive to women. (Kitty I didn't know you were from Chicago?).

So anyhooo, seems the "O" man's people had to come out with a statement regarding Bernie Mac's behavior and let the world know in no uncertain terms that the "O" man does not like those types of jokes.

"Sen. Obama told Bernie Mac that he doesn't condone these statements and believes what was said was inappropriate," spokeswoman Jen Psaki said in a statement after the event."

Sure Jen, I hear ya........

Look, it's like this: ---And maybe this is a bad example, because if I know black folks they were probably the ones doing most of the complaining--- If the "O" man is elected President of these divided states, are we going to have to be hearing apologies and explanations for shit black folks do just because people in the majority aren't necessarily familiar with black culture? I am just saying. And I know, I know, raunchy jokes aren't black culture, and the "O" man should have probably had a very clean comic open for his event. But today it's a comic, tomorrow it's the type of food he eats, or the music he played at the inauguration. I can hear white folks or some of you "bougie" black folks now: "Did they really have to play Rick James? I mean "Super Freak" seems so inappropriate for an inauguration ball." Ahhh let me stop. I know you Obamahoics don't like to hear this shit, but it's just another aspect of life to consider if the "O" man becomes President.

Still, the night wasn't a total wash for the "O" man. Seems he went to a Lincoln Park night club where a bunch of raucous fans paid $500 a pop to hear the Chicago based rock band Wilco perform.

"Before these guys go, I want them to know that I had heard a rumor that they had suggested that I had nothing by them on my iPod,...That is not true. I love Wilco."

I am sure you do "O" man, I am sure you do.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

"Why are all the brothers in the kitchen?"

That was me to Mrs. Field as we ate out today in one of those chain restaurants (I won't give the name) that serves up the standard A-merry-can cuisine. You know the type of joint I am talking about. Television sets on every wall, entrees average about ten bucks a pop, and there is a huge circular bar for folks who just want to drink. The kitchen is visible for everyone to see (I guess that's the new thing with these types of joints, so that everyone can see how their food is being cooked.

Of course, me being me, I notice that there is nothing but brothers in the kitchen. And conversely, all the waiters, waitresses, hosts and bartenders are white.

"Who are you, 'Buggin Out' from 'Do The Right Thing' now? Maybe if the 'brothers' would get an education past the tenth grade they wouldn't have to be in 'the kitchen." Mrs. Field was glaring, and I could see where this conversation was heading. Mrs. Field has a serous issue with brothers and education, or lack thereof. "Yeah yeah, I know, but no disrespect to waiters and waitresses, but I am quite sure that it's not rocket science. Some of those brothers in the kitchen would probably make fine waiters." "Would they?" (Mrs. Field was glaring again.) "I mean you would have to be able to understand them when they describe the menu, you know how your cousins are." Whenever Mrs. Field speaks ill of black folks they all of a sudden become my cousins. "Whatever, I am just saying there is an apartheid element to it that's just a little unsettling. Hell, this is Philly, we aren't in some back water town somewhere." I was getting a little pissed off myself. "Exactly, which is what makes it even more sad. We must have over a hundred colleges within a fifty mile radius of here, and I guarantee you that not one of those grown ass men back there ever set foot on a college campus. Field, not today, I am not in the mood for your defend the brothers no matter what conversation."

It was my turn again, and I know she was waiting....I figured I would get diplomatic, and end an argument that there is no way in hell I was going to win. (You brothers with the "I do's" in your past can relate) "Well, at least they have jobs. I will give the restaurant that much; they gave the brothers jobs. Now maybe they can earn a living and save up enough for college. At $200 a week, they ought to be able to sign up for a class or two" (I couldn't resist, and she knew it).

"Not today Field, not today."

"Hi, I am Mandy (her real name), may I take your order?" "Mandy, are you in college, my husband and I were just having a conversation about area colleges." (She just couldn't resist)"Yes, I am at LaSalle, but I just took a semester off, I'm going back this fall." "Wow, that's nice Mandy," I said. "May I see your drink menu, please?"

Friday, July 11, 2008

Stop "whining" and get to work. Don't you want to be rich?

I was going to blog about the frat boy and the A-merry-can congress chipping away at what little freedoms we have left in this country, but I changed my mind. No one else cares, so why the hell should I? Let's just keep pursuing happiness in these divided states of A-merry-ca. You don't have relatives in the Middle East, so why should you care? Oh, and thank you "O" man for keeping it real and standing up for our right to privacy.....change [of position] we can believe in?

No, instead I want to blog....or should I say "whine" about you whining A-merry-cans. Yes, the other Dr. Phil was right, you A-merry-cans sure "whine" a lot. Hey, you pay $4.12 a gallon for gas, get over that shit, at least you have cars. You could be living in a Third World country where you could only dream of owning a car. So what if you can't drive it anywhere, at least you can live in that bitch. With the housing market being what it is, you might have to.

You all are just jealous because you didn't marry up like Mr. Morton. Hey, just keep believing in the A-merry-can dream, and you too can marry someone who can afford to spend $250,000.00 in one month on credit cards. You are bitching about gas prices, how much do you think the poor lady pays to fill up her plane for crying out loud? I guarantee you that shit is not cheep. But don't worry, you are A-merry-can, stop whining and believing. If you believe you can achieve. Who cares about gas prices when you can have a G-4 waiting for you at the airport?

A bunch of whiners, that's what you all are. I drive around this great country and folks seem to be doing pretty well to me. If times were so hard, the restaurants would be empty, and so would the movie theaters. Hell, my "homie" Will Smith brought in over 100 million last weekend with his new movie, Back To The Future meets Jungle Fever. If times are so tough how can you all afford to go to the movies and pay for someone else to cook your meals? I bet in Haiti and Rwanda the restaurants aren't crowded. And they sure ain't dropping $20 to see Will Smith looking for his lost love through the ages, while flying drunk.

Yeah you A-merry-cans are going to have to suck it up, and get over all this recession talk. It is, after all, in your minds. Look, if you lose your job, you can always use good old A-mery-can smarts and that work ethic that we are all blessed with to invent something. (Hopefully something to get us off the Arab tit) You will make more money than you ever would working a stinking nine to five. Start your own business's, work for yourself, and watch your wealth grow. That's the A-merry-can way.

Now stop whining and get to work.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

See what happens when you lay down with dogs Jessie?

And now comes word that the FAKE NEWS people may have even more on Jessie. Yep, seems they didn't expose all of Jessie's open mic audition for the world to see and hear. They say that they have more. And if they do, please believe that they will be playing it for all it's worth.

But this is what happens to those of us who seek publicity at all cost, we end up seeking it from the wrong people. FOX knows this, they know that there is nothing some of us vainglorious black folks love more that getting some shine on national television. Hey, we can say what we want about the FAKE NEWS people, but they do have their viewers. (They might have the combined IQ of Shaq's shoe size, but that's beside the point)

If you all are like me you are dying to hear what else Jessie said. I am sure it couldn't be too damaging to the "O" man, because if it was, I guarantee you that you would have heard it by now. Jessie should do a preemptive strike and just come clean and tell us all what else he said. But sadly for him, I don't think he is too sure himself just what the hell was or wasn't caught on tape.

To top it off, Jessie had his little slip of the tongue while taping for "FOX & FRIENDS of all programs. FOX & FRIENDS? Come on Jessie, you are better than that. Or, maybe not. Maybe this Obama presidency is bringing out the worst in all of us. Not only the ignorant bigoted folks of red state A-merry-ca, but the ego maniacal black folks who only care about their own self-importance and pushing their own personal agendas. Just reading the blogs and the comments alone is enough to make your head spin. From the "O" man isn't one of us (I read that on this blog), to he is a secret "Manchurian Candidate"planted by Al Qaeda, to he is gay and he has a secret lover stashed away somewhere, to...well, you get the picture.

Look, I have some issues with the "O" man, but it has to do with his politics, and his constant triangulation, not with who he is or who he might be. All the other shit is just distractions. And as A-merry-cans we have gotten used to distractions. We love them. We need them to keep our minds off all the terrible things that is happening to our republic right under our very eyes. It's why we love our entertainment, our sports, and our 24/7 celebrity culture so much. So why should our politics be any different? Jessie, our latest drama king, fits the bill perfectly. A-merry-cans (especially white A-merry-cans) love to talk about and fixate on him. He is a lightening rod for all ages. No one gets white folks as animated and upset on the issue of race more than Jessie. (Well, except maybe Al. the other part of Rev. Inc) Which is why FOX loves to have him on whenever they can. Gotta throw that red meat to the base, and give them something to chew on. Did you see that Jessie? Man what a racist. Boy is he ever a race hustler. He is always playing the victim and blaming it on us white folks..... The funny thing is that black folks have totally moved on from Jessie. He is not even relevant to most of us anymore. But the folks at places like FOX and some of the other main stream media outlets, can't get enough of Jessie, Rev. Al (lately Dr. Eric Dyson too), and all the other black race spokespeople. They have to have someone to speak for us black folks. (Where is the NRB when you need it?) And it can't be just anybody, no, we need someone that white folks will pay attention to. How is that for irony?

So now they have their wish. The older half of Rev. Inc. has been all over the 24 hour news cycle, and they are eating this shit up. Honestly, at first, like most other pundits, I thought this would help the "O" man. After all, Jessie putting him down could only cause most white folks to say: hey, he can't be that bad Jessie doesn't like him. But now, I am not sure. All this race talk can't be good for the "O" man. Not when he wants to portray himself as a race neutral leader (whatever the hell that means). Not when he wants white A-merry-cans to look at him and not see color.

But sorry "O" man. As long as there is FOX NEWS, and folks like Jessie to go behind their cameras, A-merry-cans will always see your black ass first.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The "audacity" of fake friends.

"Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge".~~ Isaac Friedmann~~

Seems everybody was saying sorry today. First, the White House was sorry for dissing the Italian Premier, Silvio Berlusconi. Yes folks, the frat boy and his bumbling crew, while over at the G-8 Summit, had some less-than flattering things to say about Mr. Premier in the bio that they distributed about him. The bio describes him as one of the most "controversial leaders in the history of a country known for government corruption and vice." Ouch! Nice touch there frat boy. Wasn't it just last month that you visited the Premier and he called you a "personal friend", and a "friend of Italy"? "You're right. We're good friends." Yeah with friends like these.....

Now speaking of friends you don't need: seems like half of Rev. Inc. got in some shots on the "O" man a few days ago while apparently doing an open microphone routine for the FAKE NEWS people. Now Jessie, I swear your judgment is getting more fucked up as you age. Why in heaven's name (you are preacher I can use "in heaven's name") would you talk shit about the "O" man into a FOX microphone? My goodness man, didn't you see that big ass FOX logo on it? What, you think FOX is going to turn off a microphone when your ass is talking? And when you just might reveal some shit about the "O" man from his days back in the "windy city"? I don't think so.

So now we hear that you made some "crude hateful remarks about Obama on race. Apparently they seemed to disparage the "O" man for appearing to lecture us savage black folks on morality.
Now the FAKE NEWS people are planning a major news story behind this shit, and reich wing bloggers are a buzz with excitement. See, it's not only us reich wingers who hate Obama, his own people hate him too. Now when we start hating your boy we don't want to hear it. Because, after all, your own race icon is hating on him.

And now the other half of Rev. Inc. is doing the whole sorry thing. I caught him on CNN this evening and there he was Mea Culpa-ing his ass off. Of course, I couldn't understand half the shit he was saying because....well, Jessie just can't talk anymore. (Oh field that wasn't necessary, the man is a civil rights icon, show a little respect. Yeah but he still can't talk anymore, so fuck you all. A little respect like the respect he showed Obama?)

Anyway, this too will pass. But it just goes to show you how us black folks can go crab on each other sometimes. For all of us who thought the torch from the old civil rights vanguards to the young bucks coming up was going to be passed without any issues, think again. These egos out here are huge, and they ain't trying to get off the stage for the half and half one.

So now we know how Jessie really feels (as if we didn't know all along), I wonder what the other crabs like my man Tavis is saying under his breath?

Maybe we should put some microphones at the bottom of the barrel.

I am just saying.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The real deal?

I was reading an article by Eve Fairbanks in "Politics Magazine" about authenticity. It was an interesting article from a writer who I have a fair amount of respect for. Ms. Fairbanks took issue with A-merry-cans and their insatiable appetite for an authentic President.

Fairbanks takes aim at the three main players in this primary season's run for the Presidency. She calls out Hillary Clinton for making millions of dollars in the past few years, and yet casting herself as a woman of the people. A regular blue collar girl. To her millions of followers, that made her authentic, and to the A-merry-can voter, that made her more than electable.

John McCain is seen as authentic because he can't "control his mouth", and the whole independent maverick thing is a label that was given to him by a fawning press, led by writers such as E.J. Dionne, who were spurred on by the "straight talk express" dog and pony show.

So because of this love of authenticity by the A-merry-can electorate, the "O" man had a problem. Because, unlike Hillary and McCain, he was not seen as authentic. Too "chilly", too "polished", and his speeches were too "egg-heady" (hey, those were her words, not mine). Fairbanks suggested at the time, that Obama could not compete with Hillary's "blue collar" persona, or John McCain's "loud mouth" authenticity; so he was starting behind the eight ball from the get go.

Now Obamaholics will tell you that their man was and is the most authentic, and Fairbanks acknowledges this in her piece. She says that Obamaholics claim their man is the most authentic because he is the most cool, polished, and the most at ease in his skin. But careful Obamaholics, the frat boy was seen by many A-merry-cans as the most at ease in his skin, and the most cool. And of course you all see where that got us. I mean why should we trade competence for authenticity? Still, that seems to be what the A-mery-can electorate craves; authenticity over all else. They loved that Reagan didn't they? They thought he was a real cowboy, when in truth, he was nothing but a damn second rate actor, and one of the worse Presidents, ever. Right up there with the frat boy. Why the "O" man is trying to go back to that, I will never know.

Yes folks, even your beloved "O" man is trying to seem authentic. He is trying to become more patriotic (somehow A-merry-cans associate being patriotic with being authentic), more down to earth, more middle A-merry-ca, more...well, authentic. He is trying to get elected by seeming authentic to folks who value such things, and cool and comfortable to the Obamaholics. It's a tough trick, but if anybody can pull it off, I think he can.

Still, I don't know. The very thought of an authentic politician just doesn't sit right with me. That's kind of like a whore calling herself shy, don't you think? In this day an age most politicians seem to have the ability to lie to their opponents, their supporters, and most of all, to themselves. Because politics is totally antithetical to authenticity, yet A-merry-cans try to connect the two.

Authenticity, I guess, is like beauty, it's in the eyes of the beholder. And right about now the "O" man and Mr. Morton are hoping that A-merry-cans will look at them and see their soul mate.
With the "O" man, of course, that will be literal.