If the race draft was held today.....

 In a way you have to feel sorry for Stacey Dash. She is an aging "actress" (and I use that term loosely) who is way past her prime, and whose best roles are long behind her.

What else was she going to do to stay relevant? She had no choice but to hook up with FOX VIEWS and become their house coon. The black person they call when they want to have a black person bash other black people.  Kind of like Crystal Wright does over at CNN or whatever network calls her to give some face time to make her ignorant and ill-informed comments. 

But back to the coon of the moment (her cousins' words, not mine), Stacey Dash.

Poor Stacey doesn't realize that she is being used by these white folks, and that she will never be accepted by them.

I suspect, though, that she doesn't care. As long as the checks don't bounce and she can stay in the public spotlight, she is fine with her current role as the black person who wishes that she was white.

“BET lies to American black people by telling them that the rest of America is racist, so stick close to your own kind,” she wrote in a blog post titled “How BET Lies To Black People” posed on Jan. 21. “My problem goes back to the notion that every area of life needs to break down exactly according to demographic ratios except in those areas in which black people have decided they want to have their own space. I don’t have a problem with black people having their own space. I have a problem with the folks at BET absolutely freaking out when other institutions don’t match up to what they think is best.” [Source]

"THEIR OWN SPACE"? Well we have to give it to Stacey, at least she has already accepted the fact that she is no longer black.

I guess "The Drop Squad" worked faster than I thought this time.

Finally, I am going to be stuck under at least 20 inches of snow this weekend. I need some suggestions for a good book to read just in case my power goes out.


*Pic from twitter.

     

The Oscars and black people.

*Some of y'all  aren't going to like where I stand on this white out at the Oscars controversy. I know it's the popular thing among racism chasers like moi to bash the Academy for their lack of diversity and their cluelessness when it comes to inclusion. But what did y'all expect? Look, I am not going to go all Aunt Viv on you all, but you have to understand that these are white folks living in a liberal paradise that is closer to the make believe world that they create in one of their movies, than the real one that we have to struggle in day in and day out.

I am all for calling out racism and insensitivity, but at some point, my people, we have to move on from trying to be accepted into the mainstream and just create our own space within our own  reality.

Now folks like George Clooney and Lupita Nyong'o are speaking out, and the condemnation of the very white --and male--- academy voters seems to be universal. Folks are upset that the fine acting of those such as Idris Elba (above) in Beast Of  No Nation went unrecognized.

But again I say, why are we surprised? Of course they are not going to recognize great acting by people of color that is equal to what is being done by their peers of the Caucasian persuasion. A tie is always going to go to the person who looks like I do.

Anyway, speaking of clueless, that infamous one trick pony of an actress, whose only claim to fame was a bit acting role in a movie named for her persona, came out today and agreed with my point of view for a totally different reason.

"I think it's ludicrous," the Clueless alum told Steve Doocy. "We have to make up our minds. Either we want to have segregation or integration, and if we don’t want segregation, then we have to get rid of channels like BET and the BET Awards and the Image Awards, where you’re only awarded if you’re black. If it were the other way around, we’d be up in arms. It’s a double standard."

My lord this child is dumb! First of all, like HBCUs, we have BET and Image Awards because people of color have been traditionally shut out of everything folks in the majority did. As a result, we had to create our own. Second, there have been white winners of these awards. Just ask Sam Smith.

This is the same argument white racists like to use whenever a discussion such as this comes up: You people have Miss Black America and your own networks, why do you complain when us white folks leave you out of our stuff? This would be a fine argument if white folks would just come out and declare that these types of programs are off limits to black folks because they are for whites only, but they do not. We are told that in our great post-racial American society color is not an issue, therefore these types of programs will reflect the true makeup of our society.

Sadly, though, when controversies like this Oscar white out pops up, we are forced to confront the false virtue of color blind declarations from those in the majority population.

"If you think back 10 years ago, the Academy was doing a better job. Think about how many more African Americans were nominated. I would also make the argument, I don’t think it’s a problem of who you’re picking as much as it is: How many options are available to minorities in film, particularly in quality films?"

I feel you Mr. Clooney, but maybe it's time that more African Americans start making their own films. Maybe it's time to stop depending on Hollywood and, as black folks, start supporting more independent film makers of color who produce quality work.

Then maybe we wouldn't be having this discussion. And we wouldn't have people like Stacy Dash to making clueless public pronouncements that embarrass her race and her family.

Chris Rock, a black man, will host the Oscars this year. I can't wait to hear what he has to say. That is, of course, if he decides to show up.

*Pic from essence.com (Mrs. Field, I hope you are satisfied.) 





 

Keith is gone, and black folks need not apply.

Keith Olbermann is out and already some of you Negroes are hoping for a black replacement at MSNBC. It Won't happen. So stop getting your hopes up. You Negroes need to stop begging "the man" to give you shine, and start trying to get your own television stations, (Shout out to David Honig) and supporting the ones that are already here. (I am talking TV One. I am still not down with BET just yet. Sorry Bob.)

Still, if they do decide to go black I would just looove for them to go with my man Tavis.....NOT! That is the last Me-Gro I want to see representing black folks every night. Roland Martin? Hmmm, Roland is OK, but my man will have to work on those suits. Roland, it's called a suit, not a straight jacket....OK let me stop.

I wonder if a black anchor at one of these cable shows would be talking about the bomb that was found in Washington? The lame stream media sure is quiet about it. Or, the cop from the "windy city" who was doing his best John Demjanjuk impersonation on black folks for years. I guess racial tensions and hate groups aren't selling in A-merry-ca these days. One political act of terror is enough for now. We are just getting over Tucson, we can't overload the public. There is just so much hate we can take here in A-merry-ca. You can't pursue happiness when you are hating anybody.

Oh well, that's all from me folks. I will just watch some games today while I anxiously await Oprah's big announcement about her family secret on Monday. It's going to be tough holding my breath so long.

The "NRB"

I was trying to do some work today and I kept getting interrupted by Mrs. Field's laughter. I got up to see what she found so funny on the television, and it turns out she was watching an old Cosby flick on TVOne. Which go me to thinking: does any black person over thirty even watch BET anymore?


And then there were the comments some of you folks left after my post about the Wares adopting what seems to be a little white baby. And that got me to thinking as well: What if there really was a "Negro Review Board" and I was heading it? Just what would be the do's and don'ts and the the ins and outs for you Negroes?



Well, let's start with the obvious, and what triggered me thinking this way in the first place: Black television. You Negroes would no longer be allowed to watch BET. If you are going to watch a black station on television, it would have to be TVOne.



You Negroes would have to vote for Barack Obama, and you would have to donate at least $25 to his campaign. I think that's happening anyway, but that shit would be required or you would lose your Negro card.


If I ran the NRB Negroes could not have house pets. That is for white folks. Besides, times are tough. We are having a hard enough time feeding the humans in our families.


You Negroes would have to stop driving big ass trucks. We would prefer if you get a nice compact. (Do you know how stupid you look rolling down the highway in your big ass Denali sitting on twenties with gas selling at $4.50 a gallon? Get your ass a nice Honda Civic or some shit like that. There is nothing corny about saving money.



And speaking of driving down the highway: Negroes would have to stop leaning to the side when they are driving their whips. That shit does not look cool. It's stupid. And if you are pushing a whip that costs less than your tires and your rims, the shit is really whack.


Negroes over 21 would no longer be allowed to buy PlayStation's or any similar video games. Think about it.



The NRB would not allow Negroes to drop another dime into the offering plate unless the pastor could show them where the money is going. (And it can't be a building fund for the church. The building the church is in now looks just fine.




Negroes would no longer be allowed to give their children fucked up names from expensive products that they think sounds cool. Names like Porche, Mercedes, Alize, Champagne, Diamond, Jazz....--you all know what I am talking about---just ain't gonna cut it in the real world. That shit is seriously fucked up...."Ahh come on field that's not cool to call out people who might not know better. I know, that's why we have the NRB.



And speaking of fucked up things to do to your kids; Negroes would no longer be allowed to use their children's social security numbers for shit. No child should owe over $30,000 for a new car before they are six....


All Negroes would be weighed before entering all you can eat buffet joints. For every pound that you go over 200 you would be charged an extra dollar for your meal. I am sorry to single you Negroes out for this form of food discrimination, but let's face it, we have some serious health issues that other folks don't have.



You Negroes would not be allowed to read Ebony or Jet anymore. Those mags are no longer required reading for Negroes. You would now be allowed to read damn near anything else you want to though. Not that it will make any difference, because some of you Negroes really hate to read. What's that old racist saying? "If you want to hide something from a nigger put it in a book"?


We would allow you to cheer for the Celtics now. They have a black coach and more brothers on the team than the Lakers, so it's cool.



We would prefer if you were out in the open and not on the DL. That DL stuff is having some consequences.


As head of the NRB, I would make sure that my black sisters know that it's cool to continue watching Oprah for now. But that could change. Just listen out for further announcements from the NRB.


Black folks would be told that it's no longer cool to listen to R-Kelly. I know I know, that one is hard. --I was just rocking "Hair braider" on my IPod myself-- But damn it, we must take a stand.




Speaking of music: all line dancing would be banned from future black events! NO EXCEPTIONS!!




Black folks would be told that we don't have a clear cut leader, so it's still cool to call Rev. Inc. if they get in trouble.


Black folks would be told that it's still alright if they run a little late for appointments. It's called CP time. That's a built in hook up that we have. The NRB does not believe in taking away hook ups.



Finally, dissenters like some of the smart alecky commenters here could be thrown out of the race. You would have to petition the NRB to be reinstated, and that could take awhile. Trust me, you don't want to spend years of your life looking like a Negro but not being a part of our race....although I suspect that many of you living in A-merry-ca already know that feeling.

**FYI, the picture used for this post is not meant to be a true representation or likeness of the NRB. It's just a stock photo of some brothers looking important. **

I told you this would happen.

I have a confession to make, I haven't watched BET in almost five years. And please believe me when I tell you that I am proud of that shit. In fact, I suspect that there are quite a few black folks out there who feel the same way that I do about A-merry-ca's minstrel network. - Bob, looks like you sold it to the white man just in time-

But now comes word that A-merry-ca's first black billionaire and founder of minstrel T.V. has actually come out and slammed the "O" man for having the audacity to think that his peeps, the Clintons, aren't down with MLK and the civil rights movement. Boy I swear the hits just keep coming from these folks, and I suspect that they will be trotting out quite a few more surrogates and house Negroes to tell us black folks how we should be thinking before this is over. But I told you all this was going to happen, so you shouldn't be surprised.

Now I understand that politics is a blood sport, and that the stakes are high . Believe me, I come from a country where that shit is literal, and where people kill motherfuckers who are their political opponents on a regular basis. But something about this slimy kind of back door dealing and nefarious plotting is very unseemly to me. I think it's the hypocrisy that bothers me. Just the thought of you sending out your surrogates and henchmen to do your dirty work, and then appearing with the main stream media and declaring that you are above that sort of dirty politics. I mean if you run your election that way how will you lead when you are the president? I would respect you more if you just came out and said: "yes I said all that shit, and I believe every fucking word of it. Hell I am trying to become president of this bitch. I will be damned if some half and half mother fucker whose father wasn't even born here is going to take away my rightful place in history." I still wouldn't vote for your triangulating ass, but at least I would respect you.

So Bob Johnson has decided to come out and lead the house Negro parade. And why not, he made quite a lot of his billions when his benefactor, blow job Bill, was in office. So it seems only natural that blow job Bill would call in some chips now. And not a moment too soon for Hillary's campaign. She needs the boost. That uppity Negra is acting like he really wants to win this bitch.

What, he didn't get the memo? Nope, it seems that uppity Negra is starting to believe his own damn press clippings. But those press clippings are starting to change: "Obama smoothly,strategically and subtly mines the well of white guilt. In his acceptance speech after his Iowa sweep-Which sounded an awful lot like the speech of a president, or at least a nominee, rather than the pick of a few sturdy Iowans-Obama liberated his inner Martin Luther King. Launching into the singsong cadences of King's 'I have a dream' speech, Obama crooned: They saaaad. They saaad...Obama's speech was grandiose prose and inspiring rhetoric. But what does it mean?It means nothing..."

~~Kathleen Parker~~Washington Post.

I told you "O" man. I told you the shit wouldn't be easy. But just wait, you ain't seen nothing yet.

There are quite a few more Bob Johnson types to come.

Musing From My Barber's Chair

Today I headed to my barber to get that straight razor on my dome. (The Bic throw aways can only go so far) Of course, while in my man's chair, I had some thoughts.

So here are a few of the things that were running through my mind today:

What the hell is wrong with Tim Hardaway's ignorant ass? Not only is he a homophobe, but he is a stupid one at that. He goes on a popular sports program in South Florida and declares to the world: "I hate Gay people". My brother, maybe you should reconsider your position. Especially given the fact that your ass belongs to a class of people that ain't exactly loved, if you know what I mean. All those NBA dollars must have made you lose touch with reality. You have nothing to fear from Gays. It's that straight ass white man that's sitting next to you that your ass better start worrying about.

And while we are talking about foot in mouth. Did the Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, really suggest that Barack Obama is the Al Qaida candidate? Or some such dumb ass thing. Mr. Howard, may I suggest that you "slip another shrimp on the barbie" and shut the f**k up!

I am thinking that now all of a sudden the MSM has grown some, and are starting to get tough on the frat boy and his Iraqi war policies. Well too late. Where were you during the run up to this war, when the frat boy and his minions were lying to the American people to sell this fiasco? I will tell you where you were. Waving flags and cheer leading with the rest of the idiots over at the FAKE NEWS NETWORK. So too little too late as far as I am concerned. I will never trust the American media again. I will just as soon get my world news from the British press or any Third World rag which employees real journalist.

I am wondering why I can't get into Barack. I mean it seems every one else is, black, and white. Every thing seems in place with him. But something about the brother just doesn't sit right with me. Still, I am not going to knock him just yet. I am glad he is on the national scene and exposing white folks to a brother that's....well, articulate.

I am definitely not feeling Hillary. And I am not sure I get all the black love. I can't forgive her flip flopping on this war, and her seemingly perfect answers to every question. Girlfriend, could you let your hair down for just a minute? You are like a f*****g machine.

This blogging thing keeps popping up in my mind. I saw over at My DD where they are still talking about the "blogger apartheid ". (Yeah, they really do care) And I saw where a poster over there said I had some faux anger issues. "So the rage against the machine bit is self created. If you want to talk about Iraq, or oil, or campaign finance reform, or deficit/debt...there's none of that on FieldNegro" . No partner, my rage against the machine issue is not contrived. There is lots to be angry about. Maybe not for you, in your America, but the America I see everyday makes me really angry. So excuse me if I am not "happy" enough for you. If you want to see or hear happy black people, may I suggest you watch BET, or turn on Tom Joyner in the mornings; that's some happy for your ass. If angry black people scare you, you might want to stay the f**k out of the fields. ~~~sorry Mr. Barber, I was just thinking about something~~~ See that My DD poster, thinking about your ass almost got me a nick on my dome. My barber likes me to be very still when he is working his razor.

So I am thinking about this Anna Nicole thing, and how she allegedly went and hooked up with "Dexter" down in the Bahamas. Girlfriend did not play. But I wonder if she is going to be still America's pseudo sweet heart after that little nugget becomes known far and wide. Somehow I doubt it. I mean multiple lovers of the white persuasion is one thing. But Dexter? You see what happened to Madonna's ass, she had to move to England. Too many "Dexters" in her past.

Is that Colin Powell's picture I saw on the back of my milk box this morning? Where the hell is that brother? I am thinking he is with Condi somewhere, drinking shots and cursing the frat boy.

Thank you Mr. Barber, my dome is looking right. Sorry about flinching there for a minute, I was just thinking about some things.

Forgive Him Jessie For He Knows Not What He Does

"...and us black folks are especially forgiving...I wouldn't be surprised if you are front and center in a Baptist church in South Central come this Sunday as a guest of the good reverend"

~Quote from the field on 11/21/06~

OK, I hate to say I told you so but.....So it wasn't South Central L.A. it was West L.A., the good reverend happened to be Jessie Jackson, and instead of a Baptist church it was a radio station; but you get the point. It never fails, get the right race leaders together, and play the contrition card. I am sure the handlers around Michael Richards (AKA Kramer) told him just what the strategy was to get out of his little racism problem, and he has been working it to a tee. Soon, he will be hosting "Live at the Apollo" and will probably have a guest stint hosting 106 & Park on BET.

So anyway, there he [Richards] was on the radio with our self proclaimed leader, Jessie Jackson, saying how sorry he was. Of course, other race hustlers were there as well. Two men from the local NAACP were front and center, and weighing in on the controversy to say what they thought was in old Kramer's heart, and how far along they thought he had come like Saul on the road to Damascus.

Is it me, or does it seem like black folks are the only ones who have these all these self proclaimed spokes- people and leaders for our race? So Jessie Jackson, and a couple of leaders from the NAACP forgave you, but I don't forgive you Kramer. My black ass still thinks that you are a racist, and I am willing to bet that about 90% of the black people in this country feel the way I do. So getting out front and center with the race pimp, Jessie, won't cut it in my book, and it sure ain't gonna cut it with other black folks out there.

The sad thing about this is that America doesn't see the big picture. All they saw was Jessie and his minions in that radio station talking to Richards, and they thought, it's OK, all is right in our wonderful harmonious America again. One of us made a slip, but the good reverend on behalf of the other black folks forgave him, so it's alright, we can push this unfortunate little episode to the side until the next one. Give me a break! And honestly, is anyone surprised that Jessie has made such a good living pimping the race issue? Think about it! If you are a high profile white company or person, who do you call? Why Jessie of course, because the main stream media-damn I hated using that term-always has the camera and the microphones in his face. So my man Jessie will always be there when they call. And guess what, the call ain't gonna be free.

But I am not mad at Jessie, I am mad at the rest of us black folks for not letting America know that the good reverend doesn't speak for all of us on matters of race. Just like Oprah being on T.V. with all her millions of dollars and fans doesn't represent or speak for other black women out there. I know it's hard, because when something effecting black folks or black issues go down, white America finds Jessie, or Al, and the other usual suspects. What's sad is that I bet those NAACP leaders with Jessie in that radio station today, spent more time picking out what suits they were going to wear, than what type of strategy to coordinate with their members on how to address this issue. As a result, they ended up not speaking for black folks as a collective, but for just a few us with their own self promoting agendas.

So good luck Michael, now that you are well on your way to not being a racist again. All that's left is for Al to clear you. As soon as that goes down, you will be able to mingle with your black friends just like before.

Isn't America beautiful?