"No Child Left Behind": even the ones we can't understand.

Some days I hate driving into Center City, Philadelphia, to go to my plantation. On certain days I like to drive to the train station, and leave the rest of my commute to SEPTA. Today was such a day.

So I am on my way home, chilling on the train, and deep into my thoughts. I am thinking about this upcoming election and what is now looking like (if you believe all the pundits and polls) a sure Obama victory. Lawd get ready to paint the white house black y'all. And I am thinking about my little pledge to run down Broad Street au natural if the O man wins, and how I am going to pull that shit off. PHILADELPHIA LAWYER ARRESTED FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE AFTER BEING CAUGHT RUNNING DOWN BROAD STREET, NAKED. "§ 3127. Indecent exposure. (a) Offense defined.--A person commits indecent exposure if that person exposes his or her genitals in any public place or in any place where there are present other persons under circumstances in which he or she knows or should know that this conduct is likely to offend, affront or alarm." DAMN!

So anywho, this post isn't about that; it's about what transpired next. About two stops into my ride, one of my "cousins" gets on the train, and proceeds to sit right in front of me. She is talking on the cell phone, and as my "cousins" tend to be from time to time, she is being very loud. She is talking non-stop, and she is talking very very fast. And then it struck me; I didn't understand a fucking word she was saying. Not one. The young lady certainly seemed like she was an A-merry-can, since I am pretty sure she was speaking with an A-merry-can accent. I tried to pay attention for a minute, just to make sure she was speaking English. That much I determined was true, she was speaking what was meant to be English: Gurl i tol dat bitch it ain't even dat serious see what i'm sayin cause if it was yo ass wouldn't even be speaking on dat shit fo real like i am goin play myself over some dum shit with these niggers when i know i can dip in dat shit on a major fo real i mean i told har to jus squash dat shit befo it got real serious fo real like das wat i be sayin fo real like what i cant get up in yo ass too bitch youze be seriously trippin nigga if you don't think i was like what is you be talking about on de real nigga your jawn be seriously fucked up .........I hope you were speed reading, because that is the only way you could get an idea of how fast my "cousin" was talking. Oh, did I mention that she had a high school uniform on? Yes, I am pretty sure she wasn't old enough to get her driver's license. Of field, stop it, how do you know that the girl isn't a straight A student, and she isn't just talking that way with her friends to shoot the breeze? I thought about that for a minute, just a minute. But sorry, my life experiences living here in the city says otherwise.

Wow! Okay, so let's say Obama is elected, how much emphasis will he put on education? I am no big fan of the frat boy's no child left behind initiative, but I think the frat boy had the right idea. "The Soft Bigotry Of Low Expectations"? Unfortunately, like with everything else, his administration was incompetent in how they tried to carry it out. The O man needs to pick up that ball and run with it. Public school education reform and accountability needs to be one of his top priorities, if and when he does takes office. "If".

I dont know what dude is looking at fo real gurl some bald headed ving rhames dude looking like dude from the geen mile an shit all up in my flavor shit mother fucker can't have a conversation an shit without motherfuckers all up in yours so anyway gurl i to told that nigga i know you don't think i am going to suck your dick or some shit....

The hell with that statute, I will definitely be glad to make that run. "Yes we can"!

"Why are all the brothers in the kitchen?"

That was me to Mrs. Field as we ate out today in one of those chain restaurants (I won't give the name) that serves up the standard A-merry-can cuisine. You know the type of joint I am talking about. Television sets on every wall, entrees average about ten bucks a pop, and there is a huge circular bar for folks who just want to drink. The kitchen is visible for everyone to see (I guess that's the new thing with these types of joints, so that everyone can see how their food is being cooked.

Of course, me being me, I notice that there is nothing but brothers in the kitchen. And conversely, all the waiters, waitresses, hosts and bartenders are white.

"Who are you, 'Buggin Out' from 'Do The Right Thing' now? Maybe if the 'brothers' would get an education past the tenth grade they wouldn't have to be in 'the kitchen." Mrs. Field was glaring, and I could see where this conversation was heading. Mrs. Field has a serous issue with brothers and education, or lack thereof. "Yeah yeah, I know, but no disrespect to waiters and waitresses, but I am quite sure that it's not rocket science. Some of those brothers in the kitchen would probably make fine waiters." "Would they?" (Mrs. Field was glaring again.) "I mean you would have to be able to understand them when they describe the menu, you know how your cousins are." Whenever Mrs. Field speaks ill of black folks they all of a sudden become my cousins. "Whatever, I am just saying there is an apartheid element to it that's just a little unsettling. Hell, this is Philly, we aren't in some back water town somewhere." I was getting a little pissed off myself. "Exactly, which is what makes it even more sad. We must have over a hundred colleges within a fifty mile radius of here, and I guarantee you that not one of those grown ass men back there ever set foot on a college campus. Field, not today, I am not in the mood for your defend the brothers no matter what conversation."

It was my turn again, and I know she was waiting....I figured I would get diplomatic, and end an argument that there is no way in hell I was going to win. (You brothers with the "I do's" in your past can relate) "Well, at least they have jobs. I will give the restaurant that much; they gave the brothers jobs. Now maybe they can earn a living and save up enough for college. At $200 a week, they ought to be able to sign up for a class or two" (I couldn't resist, and she knew it).

"Not today Field, not today."

"Hi, I am Mandy (her real name), may I take your order?" "Mandy, are you in college, my husband and I were just having a conversation about area colleges." (She just couldn't resist)"Yes, I am at LaSalle, but I just took a semester off, I'm going back this fall." "Wow, that's nice Mandy," I said. "May I see your drink menu, please?"