I know you all see all the shit that's going on over in Belgium. Now, thanks to the language and cultural differences between two regions, there is serious talk of splitting the country in two. I am sure the folks in places like Canada and Nigeria can relate. (Remember Biafra?)
So anyway, I was thinking; after listening to the comments from black folks about the "Black In America" series, and the frustration that most of us obviously feel about being black in America, that it's time to really just designate a bunch of states to black folks and just ship us off so that we can form our own union.
Just think, no more blaming whitey for shit. No more having to hear whitey tell us about all the shit that they gave us. (Of course they would have to give us a little sum em sum em to start us off with. I say find a way to give us 13% of the GDP since we make up 13% of the population and send us on our way.) No more fucked up credit. (We could start our own credit rating system) We could finally whup our kids in peace without whitey threatening to take them away. And we could make some serious doggy steaks for ourselves when we get sick of our pets. And don't worry about the taste, I bet we would learn to like that shit. The Koreans eat it, and they look just fine to me. Field that's a racist statement. Why? It's true. I eat the hell out of some curry goat, and so do most Jamaicans I know. And guess what? Some people might think that's worse than eating dogs. (But I digress)
Now, of course, there would some logistical issues to work out: like where would we put the United States Of Black America and where would our capital be? (I will give you a hint: it wouldn't be Detroit or Cleveland.) Obviously the East Coast or the South would be the logical choice, because so many of us already live here. But then, all your Ivy League schools are on the East Coast, and I am sure white folks wouldn't want them to go to waste. Then there is Wall Street,The Liberty Bell, The Statute Of Liberty, The U.S. Mint....forget it, we ain't getting the East Coast. The South? That wouldn't be a bad choice for us. We already eat the food, and white folks don't have any serious land marks in the South. It would be their way of coming full circle. Hey you folks in the South wanted to secede, well, here is your chance. But now that I think about it, they wouldn't give us that either. White folks love the warm weather and the beaches,and they like to take their families to Disney World. I think we would waste that too. We don't have too many families.
Looks like we have to head West. Of course we can't go too far, because places like California, Arizona, and Utah are out of the question. Field, why Utah? Skiing. White folks love their skiing. I figure four fair sized states ought to do it. I am thinking they would want to send us somewhere in the heartland, since there isn't shit there. Places like North and South Dakota. (Hmmmm, the "Black Hills"), and maybe throw in states like Kansas and Nebraska to the mix. Yeah those states are right in the middle of the country, so whitey can keep an eye on us, and they can fly over us when they have to get from one part of white A-merry-ca to the other, without touching down. Kind of like the frat boy did after Katrina.
"But field what about the interracial couples? What about the house Negroes who wouldnever leave white A-merry-ca?" Hmmm, that's a good point, I never thought of that. I see my plan still has some kinks in it . Although I was thinking, just like they do in Israel, a black could petition the black government of the USOBA to allow their white or non black wife to live in the USOBA. And I suppose the house Negroes could stay. Lord knows that they would only stir up trouble in our new homeland. And we don't need that.
I think we can do this. And all you sports fans, stop worrying, you will still be able to watch your favorite black athlete. We will allow them to leave the USOBA to compete for their teams. As long as they bring their black asses home after the season, and unlike their athletic brothers now, they leave those white women alone. We don't need them pissing off Uncle Sam. We wouldn't' want to end up like the folks in Iraq. You see how Uncle Sam fucked them up, and look how far away they are.
