Next time blame the Mexican guy. You might have more luck.

I hate to say I told you all so but...well ya, I told you so. When this story broke I smelled a rat from the jump. First, the refrain was all too familiar: bad black man or men do harm to innocent white woman and child. Call the National Guards! Stop the presses! Alert the national media! We have hot one here! Nothing, and I do mean nothing, will get A-merry-ca's attention like a missing white woman or child. And in the past, nothing would have made the story more believable than blaming the black man for some nefarious act connected to their disappearance. That is, until, we had the likes of Susan Smith, Ashley Todd, and Bob Allen. (Well, he wasn't a white woman, but he learned well)

Of course those of us black folks here in Philly knew that this couldn't be true. First, it happened out in a WSZ, in the middle of the day, on a busy street. Second, the way it supposedly went down--- black men bump white woman and her child in her car, and when she gets out to investigate they go all "Taken" on her and throw her in the trunk of their car--- (Did I mention that it was described as a dark colored Cadillac? Of course, what else is a Negro going to drive?) And then, of course, comes the kicker: no one saw it. Not one witness! If some shit like that had really gone down those Negroes would not have made it to the next light. Finally, and this is going to hurt some of you Negroes, but you know it's true. What black man (especially around here) is going to kidnap a child? These Negroes want nothing to do with their own damn kids; and they are going to kidnap a white one? There is not enough money in the world that would cause a Negro from around these parts to do that shit.

But we knew it was a lie didn't we field Negroes? Which is why I am so surprised that this shit made the national news and blew up as fast as it did. All the major morning shows were all over it this morning. "And in Philadelphia, two black men allegedly abducted a blond haired blue eyed woman and her child on a busy suburban street. They then threw her into the trunk of their car and sped off. The woman supposedly made 911 calls from her cell phone." And all across A-merry-ca white folks who din't know better were putting their coffee down to say a prayer for the poor woman and her child. The ones that didn't know better. The ones who did were saying oh ohh, when are they going to learn that the black man did it alibi isn't going to work anymore? Hell we have been using that since the 1800's, but at some point it's time to let it go.

My question to some of these news agencies would be where are the black people on your pay roll? They should have told you all to hold off on this story just a little longer. I don't care how many Amber Alerts went off. Just wait.

Oh well, all is well that ends well. Apparently our modern day version of Susan Smith was spotted at Philly International Airport, and the latest is that girlfriend just might be at Disney World with the little crumb snatcher.

It sure seems like a lot to go through just to take your daughter to Disney World. I bet "Goofy" is her favorite character.

Another white person cries wolf: Or,in this case, Obama.

You would think poor Ashley Todd would know better. Susan Smith tried it,it didn't work. Charles Stuart tried it; it didn't work. Hell even Lindsey Lohan tried it, but it didn't work. Still, I can't say that I totally blame home girl. It used to be always safe to blame the black man in A-merry-ca. But now in the age of 24 hour surveillance cameras, and polygraph tests, it just might not be so easy anymore. Still, Ashley gave it the old college try.

Ashley Todd said that a big 6 four 4 black man put a five inch knife to her neck, took her money, and when he saw a McCain Palin bumper sticker on her car; he carved a "B" on her cheeks, just for good measure. Well, your first mistake, Ashley, was thinking a black man would rob your ass with a knife. Ain't happening. The weapon of choice to rob poor innocent white women at the ATM machine, is a hand gun. Or, as we call them in the hood; an "Air Mike Tyson". And another thing, no self respecting black robber would see you at the ATM, and just take the $60 you just took out. No Ashley, he would tell your ass to take your card and clean out whatever you had in that bitch. And you being a little white girl, a long way from your Texas home, I am sure there would be a nice piece of change in that old Texas Savings & Loan account....

Folks, I am trying to write this story, but it's so hard. It's hard to type when you are rolling with laughter. This morning the conservative press was all over this story. Drudge led with it, the conservative websites were salivating all over themselves, and FAKE NEWS was about to go wall to wall with Ashley coverage. ("This presidential election campaign will, undoubtedly, go down in history of one of the worst. John McCain supporter, Ashley Todd, 20, was robbed by a knife-wielding man, who etched a “B” into her face, after he saw a McCain bumper sticker on the woman’s car. According to the police, Ms. Todd was using an ATM at Liberty Avenue and Pearl Street in Bloomfield just before 9 p.m. Wednesday when a man approached her, put a knife to her throat and demanded $60. What a scumbag." That, from the conservative blog, "Black Political Thought". Yes, you are right; "what a scum"? But the scum is Ashley Todd and her cohorts in the McCain campaign, who pushed this story to the national press. And this presidential campaign will go down in history as "one of the worst". Why? Because of the desperate race baiting, and politics of fear being practiced by republicans, not because of anything the Obama camp is doing) But a funny thing happened on the way to the town square with the pitch forks, and the rope. Seems Ashley was lying. Back in the day that wouldn't have mattered, they would have found a black man, any black man, and his ass would have become one of those "strange fruit" that Billie Holiday used to sing about.

Now the only strange person in this entire episode is Mr. Morton. Because he has yet to apologize to the nation for the behavior of his campaign worker, and his campaign. A campaign that pushed a story knowing that even if it were true, it would have played on the worst racial fears of the A-merry-can people, and would have contributed to division and even more anger among the masses. Shame on you John McCain. Shame on you republicans.

Now everyone is saying that poor Ashley needs help, that she might have a mental problem, that she might have been under a lot of pressure, and blah blah blah. Listen, Ashley Todd is no different than quite a few people in this country. She is an ignorant racist piece of shit. The fact that she acted out her sick demented delusions, only means that she actually thought that she could get away with it.

Ashley Todd worked for the College Republican National Committee, and her job was to recruit other young people to her cause. Gee, I wonder how successful she has been so far?

The politician and the pole

I swear I didn't want to post about this. I was ready and fully loaded to post about the impact of Chinese foreign policy on globalization and world financial markets.....OK that's bullshit, but I really didn't plan to talk about this next issue.

But these conservative rethuglican men (code speak for middle class white males) make it so easy for me. Now there are racist, and there are RACIST. The later are so fucking stupid that they embarrass even the closet racist with their stupidity. I say that because they do stupid shit like this.

I mean can you imagine? Here is some guy, a well respected Republican politician to boot, cruising the park to get his freak on with the first hard body that comes along. ('Oh come on field, maybe the guy was trying to take a poll" Yeah he was trying to take a pole alright) And, as luck would have it, he hooks up with an undercover police officer. So what does this stupid racist do. (Let's get a word for that; lets call him a STUCIST) He says that because the potential "john" was a "stocky black guy", he was just giving him his $20 because he was afraid due to the fact that there was nothing but other black guys in the park." HUH? Now that's a STUCIST for your ass.

I mean we have Susan Smith, who accused some black guy of running off with her kids (I was going to say something about us black guys and our kids, but I don't feel like hearing the bullshit about how insensitive I am). We have the guy in Boston who took out his pregnant wife for the insurance money, and said the black bogeyman did it. Both those alibi's are racist but they are not stupid. Hey, they make sense. They both play on America's fears of the black bogeyman. But to say you were going to give a guy $20 for a blow job because you were afraid of the big black "stocky" guy...is well, fucking laughable. Hell, following that logic, I should have been born gay. I would be getting blow jobs every hour on the hour for the rest of my fucking life. "Oh shit, here comes field, ahhh man he is pulling down his zipper, you know what that means don't you? Yep, blow job time."

So state Representative Bob Allen, I want to thank you for helping me to realize that their are racist, and their are RACIST. I mean did you really think that the rest of America would buy your story? America is a pretty fucked up place, but it ain't that fucked up. We have had enough hypocrites parading as virtuous god fearing Christians while they get their freak on to know better.

Here is hoping you beat that soliciting prostitution charge, and stay away from "stocky black guys" in the future. Hey, I hear Mark Foley has some free time on his hands ;)

Thanks for the e-mail and this story DH. Keep em coming bra :)