Somebody had to do it.

Yesterday I was down in the enforcement unit of family court, and while there I overheard two brothers talking among themselves about Halle Berry and the fact that she was pregnant with a "white boy's" baby. They didn't seem bitter, but they sure were lamenting what a shame it was that one of our claimed finest chose to finally have a baby with a young "Mr. Charlie". (Gabriel Aubrey)

I thought their back and forth banter was kind of funny. They were doing the whole mock outrage thing, so I could tell that deep down they weren't really bothered by it. Honestly, neither am I. I mean didn't Halle hook up with a few brothers before young "Charlie"? Wasn't Wesley Snipes whopping her ass before she had to roll on him? (Don't sue me Wesley, I am just repeating the rumors I heard)

I don't know, maybe if it had been Nia Long, Debbie Morgan, or God forbid, Lark Voorhies, it would have bothered me more. But I have never been a big Halle Berry guy myself.

Besides, I was thinking, did sisters feel bad when Seal hooked up and had a baby with Heidi Klum? I am guessing no. Besides, the baby will be still considered black in A-merry-ca right?

The Whip

"Evry time I hear the crack of a whip, My blood runs cold I remember on the slave ship, how they brutalize the very souls." ~Bob Marley~

Remember that old Eddie Murphy joke? The one where he talks about modern day brothers and how they would react to slavery: " Brothers act like they couldn't have been slaves back 200 years ago. It's like the mother f*****s liked that shit. 'I wish I was a slave, I would f**k somebody up! Shit, tell ME to bale some mother f*****g cotton!' Yo nigger, bale this cotton!'I would say, suck my dick massa!' No doubt most of us brothers feel this way, and now that there are laws and and the white majorities shame to protect us, we are feeling particularly cocky these days. But that wasn't the case back then, because as Eddie said: "The first nigger who tried that shit. Somebody said 'nigger bale this cotton' and he said 'f**k you massa' CRACK![the sound of a whip] The other mother f****r said, 'all right, we'll bale the shit all right. Just keep the f*****g shit away from me.'

So it's not like those brothers back then wanted to pick cotton and do all the shit that massa forced them to do. They had that whip to contend with. If you got out of line; CRACK! And I guarantee you that whip was no joke. They had all types of whips, and mother f*****s who knew how to use them. Hell, they had whips made of steel for crying out loud! I can't even imagine how much that sh** must have hurt. Trust me, if it didn't, lots of those brothers back then would have said; "f**k you massa" and rolled.

But truth be told, we are still dealing with the whip. Of course now a days the whip takes different forms, but it's still there and it's still painful. These days the pain is more psychological than physical, but it's still painful, and America still uses the whip to keep our asses in line. Whether it's the IRS whip (Just ask Wesley Snipes, or Ronald Isley), the whip of drug addiction and dependency, the justice whip (we the jury find the defendant...), the credit whip, or the whip of poverty. Just like the whip they used to put an ass whupping on my ancestors, all these whips are still hurting us. And no one is immune from the whip. Colin Powell felt the whip. That's why his ass went to the U.N. and declared that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, even though he really didn't believe that shit. "I don't know Mr. President, maybe we should get more confirmation from the C.I.A. before we declare tha...Ahhh Colin, you still want to keep that position as Secretary of State don't you? CRACK ! Yeah maybe you are right Mr. President, I will get right on it. " The CBC is feeling the whip, that's why their sorry asses won't give up their insane quest to conduct one of the Democratic debates on FOX NEWS. "I don't know Mr. Murdoch, we are getting some pressure from liberal groups not to go on your network....Ahhh Bennie, what about all that money we gave you? CRACK! OK Mr. Murdoch, we will try to encourage some other CBC members to endorse the debates." You think the typical President of one of America's HBCU's doesn't feel the whip every time he goes begging to some accreditation board for his school? What about the black business person who wants a serious line of credit to expand his business. Do you think he doesn't feel the whip?

There is a whip floating over my ass too. It's my 9-5 employer as well as my clients from my private practice. Because the moment that I f**k up, they will fire my ass, and I will be seriously wanting for cash to pay my bills. Oh, and did I mention my bills? CRACK! Oh yeah, those bills have to be paid, and in order to pay them I need to have cash. So call me a hypocrite if you will, but I see and feel that whip from time to time my damn self. ("Mr. field, this is American Express, we haven't received a payment from you in over 15 days, we just wanted to know when we can expect a payment?" CRACK!)

This is how it is in America, and this is why it is so hard to find true black leaders and strong moral characters. Everybody is getting whipped, and everybody is afraid to feel the pain that goes along with it. It could not have worked out better for America if a bunch of old white men had met in a back room and said: "OK this is how we are going to keep niggers down from now on. Of course we can't whip them anymore. But let's develop a subjective credit system, let's build a country that is dedicated to the pursuit of happiness, and wrap happiness around consumerism. They will always be chasing this false dream that we create, and we will always keep it just within their reach by showing them others who have achieved it. Along the way, they will be getting whipped on a daily basis, and they won't even realize it." "Brilliant!"

Now if we can just get these black folks to cooperate.