Ayman, he is not a "house Negro".

Seems like the folks over at al-Qaeda News have been broadcasting messages again. This time they have set their sights on the O man, our President elect.

"You were born to a Muslim father, but you chose to stand in the ranks of the enemies of the Muslims, and pray the prayer of the Jews, although you claim to be Christian, in order to climb the rungs of leadership in America, Mr Obama was not an "honourable black American" like Malcolm X, he said, but an "abeed al-beit" (house Negro)

Now I don't speak Arabic, so I am going to have to take the word of the folks who do. It seems that they translated Ayman's message and Ayman wasn't too nice to the O man. Apparently al Qaeda's number two is pissed off at the O man, and he used some of the lines from what I consider one of the greatest speeches in A-merry-ca's history to drive home his point. Yep, Ayman compared his O ness to a "house slave"who has chosen to align himself with the "enemies" of Islam. (Dem there is fightin words, his O ness is going to find your asses for sure now. It was cool when Ralph Nader said it, because everyone knows that he is a few tires short of a Chevrolet; but now you guys put that shit out there, and it's on) The al Qaeda folks were even looping brother Malcolm's speech while conducting their broadcast to A-merry-ca. Talk about cojones.

Here is the thing Ayman: you can't just go throwing out the house Negro field Negro references out there. That is my job, and I take that shit seriously. (BTW, thanks for all the web traffic, now that you have every white person in A-merry-ca googling house Negro) I study this thing. You have to know your subjects and what brought them to house Negro or field Negro status. The O man is not a house Negro. In fact, the closest he has ever been was to the patio. Yes he will be living in the (really big) house, but he is not a house slave; he runs that shit. He answers to no one. He is massa. To call him a house Negro would be missing the entire point of just who a house Negro is, and what he represents. And another thing: we field Negroes helped to elect him and put him in the house, so we have no problem with him being there. In fact, we wanted him there. So when you call him a house Negro you are calling all the Negroes who put him there house Negroes as well. That is not cool. If you are trying to get black folks and Muslims in A-merry-ca to sympathize with your cause, this ain't the way to do it, you are only alienating some of the folks here. Have you ever heard the word Obamaholic?

Now, I know things are tough for al Qaeda these days, and they are getting desperate with their efforts to recruit. But attacking A-merry-ca's first black Prez, and a man that is revered throughout the African diaspora is not the way to go about it. Ayman al Zawahiri should stick to attacking George Bush. Now I am wondering if that Cave Negro, Osama, is still alive. If he is he needs to put a check on old Ayman, and fast.

And Ayman, the best advice I can give you is this: you and all the rest of the Cave Negroes need to just chill. Because his O ness is in the house now, and he ain't afraid to use massa's toys.

This is Jack's A-merry-ca damn it!

Jack & Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist.


I think we can all agree that there are certain bodily functions in life that brings us some serious pleasure. Like the feeling we get right before we feed the sharks for instance; or, that feeling we get right before we send thousands of potential little babies shooting out of our bodies. (Man version). But there are things that cause us extreme bodily pain and discomfort as well. Like the feeling we get when there is a blow to that area that contains two very sensitive little jewels packaged in a nice little gift bag. (Man version) Or the pain that contractions bring right before or during child birth. (Woman version)


But there is a debate going on in this country about pain and torture, which quite frankly is a little puzzling. I mean you have to wonder what kind of human being doesn't think that simulating drowning another human being is torture. They call it water boarding, and even our new potential Attorney General isn't quite so sure if it should qualify as torture. But this is life in the frat boy's A-merry-ca, we are ll fucking cowboys these days. Everyone things they are Jack Bauer on "24". Bring em on, we can handle those stinking islamo fascist terrorist, and if they won't give up the goods we will torture it out of them. That will show em to fuck with A-merry-ca. Yeah right, until one of our boys are captured in some hostile country and we see his body parts strung up on a power line in the middle of [Insert the name of any major Arab city here]



Ask John McCain, he was one of those boys once, and the last time I checked, he was against torture.




But John McCain isn't one of the 24% of the blind loyalist to the frat boy in this country. These people would condone burning the families of these alleged terrorist in front of them to get to the truth. Hey, all in the name of protecting the homeland. ( I agree with Chris Matthews, "homeland" is a fucked up name for a country. -Think of the Nazis in Hitler's Germany-- Isn't it funny how we have all these new words in the A-merry-can lexicon since the frat boy came to power? Weapons of mass destruction, homeland security, Islams fascist terrorist,domestic surveillance. But I seriously digress) So back to protecting the homeland.


How far are we willing to go when we torture someone to protect the homeland? According to the frat boy and his minions, as long as it doesn't shock the conscience it's cool. And just what would qualify as shocking the conscience? Well, poking someones eyes out with a needle I suppose would qualify.




But you gotta love it. Just the fact that we are even having this debate shows you just how far we have fallen as a civilized society. And in spite of what FAKE NEWS would have you believe, Osama really is winning the war on terror. Newsflash; "24" is a fucking T.V. show, and Jack Bauer is Donald Southerland's son, who can stay sober about as long as one of the commercials in it.


Oh well, I think I am going to enjoy one of those physical pleasures I just wrote about.



Hey, it's 9:00 AM on Saturday morning, guess which one it's going to be?

Timing is everything.

Why is it that whenever the frat boy needs money from congress to fund his war there is a new Osama video? Think about it: In his last video Osama's beard was dyed black and it had a perfect trim. Hell, he couldn't have gotten a cut like that from the best barber here in Philly. Doctored photo anyone?

I bet the frat boy has an entire library of Osama tapes just waiting to unload on A-merry-ca.

I can't wait to see the new al Qaeda movie right before they decide to bomb the shit out of Iran. It will be the scariest yet. Watch for the mushroom cloud special effects; that's a Bush administration favorite.

But I gotta give it to the frat boy, it's a great strategy. Scare the shit out of the constituents, who in turn will call their congressmen. Go to said congressmen for funds, and if they refuse to give it to you, their scared shit less constituents will vote them out.

If these clowns only knew how to run a country as well as they know how to hold on to power we would be in pretty good shape. Poor D-im-ocrats; they are out gunned. Even with the frat boy's approval ratings as low as a black conservatives IQ, they (the Dims) are still afraid of him.

Right about now the Harry and Nancy show ain't looking so good. But man that Osama show sure looks like a hit.

Why Osama won.

I am always sceptical when I hear people yearning for the "good old days"in America. A time when according to them there were real family values in this country, and the American dream didn't seem so illusive. But the "good old days" to me didn't represent what it did to most A-merry-cans. The good old days to me represented a time when black people weren't in magazines or on television, and they had to drink at separate drinking fountains. But still, there are some good old days I would like to go back to. That would be the good old days before September 11, 2001.

Remember those days? The days before nineteen Saudi Arabian men decided that they wanted to hook up with 72 virgins in paradise, and decided to turn four commercial airliners into bombs. Those bombs ended up killing over three thousand of our fellow citizens, and forever changed our lives here in A-merry-ca. As Don McLean sang back in the day; "bye bye Ms. American pie".

Now thanks to a president who saw those attacks as the start of a spiritual war between Muslims and Christians; those lunatics didn't just kill over three thousand people that day, they killed the American spirit and what America stands for as well. I wonder what happened to that America? A place where we actually had civil liberties. A place where we could say and write whatever the fuck we wanted to without the fear of some government black suit throwing our asses in an unmarked plane and shipping our asses to Egypt, so that they could torture us until we vowed to vote republican. A place where we weren't paranoid every time we picked up the phone or stepped outside our door. A place where there wasn't a twenty four hour so called news station which focused on supporting the government and dividing the country along racial lines for the sake of ratings. A country where there wasn't a noose around every fucking corner, and every small town District Attorney from Michigan to Mississippi wasn't locking up people of color and throwing away the key.

Oh if we could only have those days again. Where did they go? I want to know, because not only are we fucked on a domestic level, but I am considered an American, and damn near every poor Arab boy in the world wants to kill my black ass because of my president.

Am I afraid? You bet your Chevy and your apple pie that I am. I am very afraid now and I wasn't afraid before 911. But I am not afraid of those Arab boys, I am afraid of my own government; and that is why Osama has won.

What I Remember!

It's one day away from the 911 anniversary [why do we say anniversary, as if it was a good day we want to remember?] and I, like every other American, have quite a few memories of that day and its aftermath.

I remember, that it was probably weather wise, the most beautiful morning that I have ever seen in all of my years on earth. The weather was particularly meaningful to me, because although we were at a court conference in Harrisburg Pennsylvania, we were supposed to play a full round of golf that day. I remember, as I was changing in my hotel room, listening to the news report on television about a "small" plane flying into one of the Twin Towers. I didn't pay much attention to it. In fact, as I went downstairs to meet my colleagues for breakfast, and I even joked to them about some guy in a Cessna or something who couldn't get his bearings straight, and crashed his plane into one of the Twin Towers. Boy was I wrong. As we stood in the lobby of that hotel, I will never forget how surreal it was watching the other plane crash into the second tower.

The looks on the faces of every one in that room, the mad dash to go home by people with young children, and families at home was something I will never forget. I suppose being at a conference and in a hotel, made those initial moments even more tense and horrifying to the people that were there with me. Most people were away from home, and most people, seeing the other stories of multiple planes being hijacked, one crashing into the Pentagon, and one of the hijacked planes heading right to us across Pennsylvania, could not help but think that we were under attack, and were at war.


Total strangers were crying with each other, and comforting each other in any way that they could. I called my significant other, who was working in a high rise building in Philadelphia on the seventeenth floor, to make sure she was OK. She said she was, and I told her that no matter what her company said to get the hell out of there. She said she would because she was scared, and that there was allot of talk in the office about America being under attack. I told her that the people in her officer were right. I will never forget the middle aged white lady who came up to me and said: "Can you believe this is happening in our country?" "Well", she said, "we are all together now" As if we weren't together before. Of course she was right, we weren't together before. And not only blacks and whites, but democrats and republicans, rich and poor, red staters and blue staters, you name it. We were just coming off Gore v. Bush, remember that? So in a way, I guess you couldn't blame us. But this incident, this moment, made us all realize how vulnerable we were. As Americans, we always viewed wars and terrorist attacks on our T.V. sets. We never thought that such things could happen to us in our beloved America, insulated in our bucolic Ozzie and Harriet worlds. But it did, because a bunch of religious fanatics wanted to bring the fight to us. So it united us for awhile. For awhile we were together as one America, united against the evil that invaded our peaceful existence.

This is why the war in Iraq really sets me off. Because rather than use a moment when we as citizens, were all ready to unite to defeat a common enemy. Our president, guided by the neocons in his party, used one of the most tragic moments in American history, to score political points, to settle old scores, and to push forth an agenda in the Middle East. It upset me, because of what I saw on the faces of the people in Harrisburg that day, and the bravery and selflessness of a lot of great people who gave their own lives to save others. It upsets me thinking about it now, because we are right back to where we were pre 911, if not worse. We are even more divided, and our president is still trying to score political points from this tragedy. [See his most recent political tour] It upset me, because the NBA sized terrorist, Osama Been Forgotten [that's classic] is still hiding out in Afghanistan somewhere and shaking his d%#k at us. I get upset thinking about people like the camel neck lady, aka Ann Coulter, attacking the widows of the horrific attacks to sell her book, and throw red meat to her fellow conservatives. Unfortunately, thanks to the behaviour of certain individuals, allot more than the Twin Towers collapsed that day. These individuals have led the collapse of decency and civility as well.

So yeah, I remember a lot of things about 911 and the horror that surrounded that day. But the most painful memory I have of 911 and the months and now years after, is the blown opportunity by our president to truly unite us, and show the world that we were going to stand up to the murdering zealots and their ilk, as one people. Not just republicans who need the war on terror to push their agenda. But as Americans who want nothing more than to protect our families, and on a beautiful day, be able to play a round of golf.

The field-negro again would like to thank all the first responders who put their butts on the line that day. And the field would like to give a long middle finger to our vice president, AKA Darth Vader, who was no where to be found, and who is still leading the charge to get the wrong enemy.

The field is out.