Brawlers.

I must confess that when I saw this headline: "Sarah Palin: I owe America A Global Apology" , I thought that the conservative Queen was referring to her recent shenanigans up in Alaska.


Of course I was wrong. Sarah was lamenting the fact that she and her running mate did not defeat Barack Obama.


"During an interview with Fox News' Sean Hannity, Palin spoke about Obama's long-term strategy for defeating the Islamic State -- a militant group formerly known as ISIS or ISIL -- that he laid out in a speech Wednesday night.
"As I watched the speech last night, Sean, the thought going through my mind is, 'I owe America a global apology. Because John McCain, through all of this, John McCain should be our president,'"


Sarah, with all due respect, you should be "apologizing" to America and your fans for that brawl you and your family were involved in.


 "Since her ill-fated 2008 run for vice-president, Sarah Palin and her family have been a constant television presence, appearing in their own reality show and, more recently, on her very own Sarah Palin channel.


The most dramatic recent chapter in the Palin story appears, however, to be documented only by witness accounts – and an evolving police report. Alaska authorities are considering filing criminal charges related to a large fistfight said to involve multiple members of the family in the Overview neighbourhood of Anchorage last Saturday night.


Palin family members were present at a party where 20 people ended up in an alcohol-fuelled melee in the front yard, police spokeswoman Jennifer Castro told the Alaska Dispatch News.


Sarah Palin herself got in on the action, ABC News reported in an interview with a party attendee, who quoted the former governor as screaming at unknown combatants: “Do you know who I am?!”


Palin was the 2008 Republican vice-presidential nominee and currently is host of Amazing America with Sarah Palin on the Sportsman Channel. She and husband Todd are the parents of five children, at least two of whom were central protagonists in the weekend brawl, according to Alaska politics blogger Amanda Coyne, who wrote:

The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t. At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that [daughter] Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly.  

The Anchorage police department confirmed on Thursday that a “verbal and physical altercation” had taken place outside the residence, where a party was being held in part to celebrate Todd Palin’s 50th birthday.


“We are still reviewing the case, along with our municipal attorney’s office to determine whether any charges will be filed,” Castro, the police spokeswoman, told the Alaska paper in an email.


“A preliminary investigation by police revealed that a party had been taking place at a nearby residence and a fight had broken out between multiple subjects outside of the residence,” she added."


Oh lawd! That white trash mojo is strong.


Thank goodness we didn't send these classless benighted hillbillies to Washington.


The good news for Sarah's fans is that she now has her own channel. And, for a small fee, they can watch her until their heart's content.


 "..in which the former vice presidential candidate reportedly screamed, 'Don’t you know who I am?”'


That's the problem Sarah; we know exactly who you are.

We didn't even get a chance to miss you.

"If you feel like leaving you know you can go But why don't you stay until tomorrow?If you want to be free, you know, all you got to do is say so And when you feel cold, I'll warm you And when you feel you can't go on, I'll come and hold you It's you... And me forever Sara Smile Won't you smile a while for me"

Oh if my homeboys Hall Oates only knew when they wrote those lyrics. But please Sara[h], please don't "stay until tomorrow"; you have already stayed long enough. I swear that if it's going to be you"and me forever" I need to find MJ's doctor (the one or ones with the suped up sleeping pills) quick. Sarah, I can't stand to listen to your ass for 15 minutes of a press conference, so forever would be.....god I can't even think about it.

It's no secret that politicians are supposed to have huge egos, but this is ridiculous. This woman just will not get off the stage. I know that being the governor of Alaska is like being the long snapper on a football team. (Field, what the hell does a long snapper do? Exactly!) But the poor people of Alaska elected you, Sarah, the least you could do is finish out your term and show them that you can be an executive for four years. What's so pressing that you have to leave now? The rednecks, and Christian conservatives (Isn't that an oxymoron?) who were all over you like a teenager on You Porn aren't going anywhere. You are still it in their world, Sarah, so why quit?

Oh field, you are such a hypocrite, what about a certain senator from Illinois with a funny name? Didn't he quit to run for president? You didn't seem to be so concerned about the people who elected him then now did you? That's a fair point, but a senator ain't like being a governor. A governor really does do bread and butter things in a state. And while it might be the senator's job to insure that the state gets some pork, it's the governor's job to make sure that the pork gets put on the table if you get my drift. Besides, if Sarah had come right out and said that she was quitting to run for president maybe I would cut her a little slack. But all this secrecy around her future, coupled with that mess of a press conference to formally resign, was totally whack. But then again, it was totally Sarah.

Besides, Sarah just loves the spotlight. She got a taste of it when she ran on team Titanic and she just won't let it go. Dave apologizing to her one last time was the worst thing that could have happened for her, because it killed that news cycle and kicked her off the front pages down here in the lower forty eights.

So let the speculating begin. And believe me it has, already. Everybody is talking about Sarah: What is she going to do? Why did she quit now? Is this good or bad for her political future? Was the money she is going to get as a FOX News host just too much to turn down...... and on and on it goes. I thought I was done with this woman after his O ness was sworn in, but obviously she is not done with me.

"Its you... and me forever Sara smile Wont you smile a while for me... "

It's Ok Sarah, you can hold the smile. I am sure we will be seeing plenty of you and those pearly whites in the days to come.

I am sorry

beauty queen, but I am on that ass again. (Not literally of course; not my flavor) Still, I am going to take back all I said about you being naive and inexperienced. Seems you know the political game quite well.

For example; when you were mayor of your football team sized town, you hired a lobbyist with ties to that crook, Ted Stevens, to get ear marked pork for your town. And apparently you did quite well. Almost twelve million dollars? Wow! Including a one million dollar communications center which local law enforcement people said wasn't even necessary.

Then when you stood beside Mr. Morton you lied about backing the bridge to nowhere. You did support it when you ran for Governor in 2006, but switched your position when it became unpopular. Talk about flip flop. And you pushed for pork for your state too. One hundred and ninety seven million dollars worth. Including two million dollars for crab productivity. Now I love crabs, but......

The irony is that your running mate questioned some of your earmarks for your town and considered the spending "objectionable". Isn't life funny beauty queen? Seems like what goes around comes around doesn't it? Folks, I am not kidding about all of this. [Thanks Dan for sending me this link. ]

Now, finally, you have come out from hiding, and here you are on the eve of your big speech. You are running as the ultimate Washington outsider and the mom next door. You are soaking up all the red state love from your adoring fans. You are their Joan of Arc, their Annie Oakley,and their Belle Starr all rolled into one. You have come to rally the base, and to get the folks excited again. Well, to that end, I think picking you might have worked. I haven't seen the base this excited since they found out about a certain chubby interns stained dress.

But hey, at least you are ethical right? I mean you did take on your state party machine right? Not! If you took them on why did you stay silent and watch the GOP chairman and state party boss get re-elected at the state party convention in 2004? And why are you under investigation for violating the "Executive Ethics Act" right now? We all know the story by now: seems you didn't like how your ex brother in law treated your sister, so you wanted to make sure he hit the unemployment line. Wow, talk about "Hatfields and McCoys". I never want to cross you beauty queen. You play hardball.

And to be fair, the guy very well might have been a scumbag, but isn't there ways to handle scumbags without having your sister, the Governor, circumvent whatever law is in place to deal with such things?

But you gotta love it. I even hear that you wanted the corrupt governor of Alaska investigated....wait you were the governor of Alaska.....sooooo you wanted to investigate yourself? Yes, apparently you did. I swear, something about you isn't right.

Anyhooo, I am going to get some popcorn, get ready for the big speech, and play count the Negroes in the crowd. (I think I got three last night. Not including the band and the staff of course) It should be fun.

Now it's a real beauty contest.

"The longer I think about it, the less well this selection sits with me. And I increasingly doubt that it will prove good politics. The Palin choice looks cynical. The wires are showing.
John McCain wanted a woman: good.

He wanted to keep conservatives and pro-lifers happy: naturally. He wanted someone who looked young and dynamic: smart. And he discovered that he could not reconcile all these imperatives with the stated goal of finding a running mate qualified to assume the duties of the presidency "on day one."

Sarah Palin may well have concealed inner reservoirs of greatness. I hope so! But I'd guess that John McCain does not have a much better sense of who she is, what she believes, and the extent of her abilities than my enthusiastic friends over at the Corner. It's a wild gamble, undertaken by our oldest ever first-time candidate for president in hopes of changing the board of this election campaign. Maybe it will work. But maybe (and at least as likely) it will reinforce a theme that I'd be pounding home if I were the Obama campaign: that it's John McCain for all his white hair who represents the risky choice, while it is Barack Obama who offers cautious, steady, predictable governance.

Here's I fear the worst harm that may be done by this selection. The McCain campaign's slogan is "country first." It's a good slogan, and it aptly describes John McCain, one of the most self-sacrificing, gallant, and honorable men ever to seek the presidency.
But question: If it were your decision, and you were putting your country first, would you put an untested small-town mayor a heartbeat away from the presidency?..."

The writing above wasn't from some left wing democrat. It was from David Frum, darling of the neocon right, and former speech writer to rethuglican presidents. Frum was writing online for "The National Review", and he is obviously not a happy camper.

And you know what, I agree with him. I am sorry folks, but to paraphrase Frum, the more I think about this pick, the more I am thinking just how insane Mr. Morton must be. And for all the folks in this country writing on blogs, and pontificating in various media outlets about what a brilliant pick this is, I say to you with all due respect, that you must have lost your fucking minds. This pick was pure lunacy.

This woman wasn't even properly vetted for crying out loud. Right now we are hearing that she had a little scandal brewing up in Alaska, one which the rest of us down here in the lower forty eights were totally clueless about.

Now folks, you all know how I feel about this election; it is my humble opinion that his "O" ness will lose. Because no matter how good the illusion looks, A-merry-ca is not quite ready to elect a skinny Negro from the South side of Chicago, with an Arab name, president. But I will be damned if Mr. Morton didn't go ahead and give his "O" ness a fighting chance.

Maybe it's just me, but I would at least like the person who is a heart beat away from leading my country to be smarter, or as smart as I am. (She named her son "Trig" for god sake) Ahhh field, you are so arrogant and such a sexist asshole, how do you know that this woman is not smarter than you are? No fucking way! And that's not being arrogant, that's just a fact. I bet I forgot more foreign policy than she knows. Sexist? I don't think so. I don't, for instance, think that I am necessarily as smart as Hillary, or Condi for that matter. (Although I make better choices) But this lady? I am going to go out on a limb and say I have it over her in the brains department. AND SHE IS GOING TO BE THE VP? Folks, this makes the Dan Quayle pick look downright genius. And just in case you think I am a sexist; I want you to know that I think that he was a flat out idiot. And the last time I checked (well I didn't actually check), he is a man.

But hey, as they say in Hollywood, it's a wrap now.

My friends (I got that from Mr. Morton), wouldn't it be ironic if the woman who was runner up to the first African American to win Ms. Alaska, ends up losing to the first African American president of these divided states? I know, I know, one is a beauty contest, and the other is the presidency. But if you think about it, what's the difference?

Why?

I have never been to Alaska, and I am sure it's a beautiful state with wonderful people. But Mr. Morton, WTF? Sarah Palin? Here I was, ready to keep my clothes on come November and stay the hell off Broad Street, when you go and pull a stunt like this. You must really want me to lose my bet don't you? I am sorry, I must be missing something; if you are up in a football game with time running out, don't you call conservative plays and hold the ball? Why would you throw a hail Mary pass and risk giving the other team the ball? Mr. Morton, Sarah Palin is a fucking hail Mary pass, plain and simple.

I know I know, she is only 44, she is a woman, and she is a social conservative. So she has youth, gender, and conservative cred. All traits that I am sure you thought would help you. But being 44 and a two year Governor of a state that is closer to Moscow than New York, and less people than a Philly housing project isn't going to make the experience rap against his "O" nes fly. Being a woman isn't going to get her the Hillary vote (the one hundred or so folks at PUMA not withstanding), because the last time I checked the Hillaryites wanted to keep their right to do what they want to with their own bodies. And they sure as hell loved that their girl had a ton of experience; and they would have some serious issues with the former mayor of a town of 9,000 people just two years ago, rising to the second highest office in the country. The fact that she is a gun toting, gay hating lunatic, doesn't help her either. Yeah the stories of her background is cute, and I feel for her with the disabled child, but come on now....VP?

Hey, maybe Mr. Morton wanted his ticket to be able to beat the "O" man's ticket in B-ball. I hear that girlfriend actually hit the winning shot to win her high school team the Alaska state championship. ---I have seen your game "O" man, you can't go to your right, if girlfriend can shoot the jay you might have some problems. ---But seriously, Mr. Morton has really shuffled the deck here, and as someone who thinks he was a lock to win, I don't like it. He is forcing me into the gym more often than I want to go now (I will not be embarrassed running my naked middle aged ass down Broad street), and that's a problem.

I still can't figure this shit out. Why rock the boat and take chances when you didn't have to? Why not Tim, or Mitt, or Joe? Are the rethuglican ranks that thin? Hell, why not Elizabeth or Condi?

I don't know Mr. Morton, I always heard you were a little touched, but this confirms it. The thing is, A-merry-ca will still take a white woman over a black man every time, so this might not end up hurting you so much. Might not. But damn it man, did you have to make it any closer any needed than it needed to be?

Oh well folks, just in case, I am off to the gym. If anyone has the number of a really good personal trainer in the Philly area, please give the kid a call.