Showing posts with label George Allen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George Allen. Show all posts

Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Stepin Fetchit Awards (The Coonies)






As we approach what would be the 78th birthday of a great American-Martin Luther the King-It is with great sadness and trepidation that the field brings you his semi-annual Stepin Fetchit awards.(The Coonies) Yes folks, in the great tradition of Mantan Moreland, Willie Best, and Stepin Fetchit, I bring you some more Negroes who are embarrassing the rest of us for all of white America to see.

I would like to congratulate some repeat winners like Clarence Thomas, and Cedric The Entertainer. And welcome some new winners to the list, like Paul Mooney, and Condi Rice.

So without further adieu, I bring you the latest winners of the Field Negro Stepin Fetchit awards (The Coonies):

1. Niger Innis- Mr. Innis this award goes to you, not because you are a black Republican conservative, but because like Jessie Jackson does with PUSH, you and your dad sell your organization (CORE) to the highest bidding republican benefactor. Also, when CNBC mistakenly placed Nigger Innis under your name, and profusely apologized to you. Your response was: "Oh God, I thought you guys thought I was a rapper or something" No sir, you are not a rapper, you are a Coon!

2. The Reverend Gary Hamm-Came out in support of the macaca man, George Allen, after Allen's true racial feelings were being exposed for the world to see. So you played football with him, and he helped line your pocket, and hooked you up when he became Senator. Still, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, I don't care how many hook ups he gave you. Don't you still have to look int the mirror?

3. Condi Rice- I tried to avoid this as long as I could. And on some levels I actually like the bad perm lady. But I must put you on this list, if only because you seem to have the Stockholm Syndrome. Like what the f**k? When will you get a back bone and tell the frat boy he is fu****g up American foreign policy? I know you know better, but it's like you have a blind spot for the guy. So for that, and being the frat boy's personal Coon, -he is the most powerful man on earth- you get a Coonie. (By the way, I might have to stop calling you the bad perm lady, your perm is looking much better these days)

4. Paul Mooney- Yeah I know you wrote material for Richard Pryor, and you helped quite a few black comedians get their start in the game, but your masquerading with Michael Richards after his "N" word issues was too much.

5. Clarence Thomas- No explanation needed. With all due respect to my man Plez. ,he will be a permanent fixture on any such list that I have. He might as well build a nice little Coonie trophy shelf in his house now, because he will be getting two a year for as long as I am doing this.

6. La Shawn Barber- This conservative blogger earns my respect and disgust at the same time. A true coon, who might be laughing all the way to the bank soon. I know she can't believe half of the self hate diatribe that she likes to expound upon. Yet it's working. Whites -especially red state white folks- eat her hustle up. She likes to brag that unlike many of us lowly black bloggers she uses her real name. No handle like "field negro", "skeptical brotha", or "free slave" for her, she keeps it one hundred with her white friends. Must work wonders when she tries to get tickets to those sold out NASCAR events. "Hello this is LaShawn Barber, I was wondering if you have any tickets left for tomorrows Talladega 500?" Of course Ms. Barber anything for you, just keep telling it like it is".

7. Cedric The Entertainer- Another repeat winner. Cedric goes on this list because he just keeps getting worse. (Have you seen his latest movie?) The sad thing is, that old Ced doesn't have to go the cooning route, because he has some real talent. Lets hope this brother comes around before it's too late.

8. Fifty Cent-You are a hip hop coon, and your ignorant ass statements and persona have only helped to reinforce stereotypes of what a typical ignorant ass rapper should look and act like. Fifty, please don't think you have made all that money by accident. (Think about it)

9. O.J. Simpson- Just when we thought we had seen the last of this Coon and murderer;desperate for money, he pens a book detailing how he might have murdered his wife and her friend. O.J. please go away.

10. Flavor Flav-I think I saved the best for last this time. Hard to believe that this Coon was at one time a member of one of the most conscious and influential acts to come along in decades. Yet there he is on national television embarrassing himself and his race, by starring in a coon fest called "Flava of Love". Folks, trust me when I tell you, it doesn't get much lower than this show.

That's my top ten for this award folks. As usual, there were some honorable mentions. People like Puffy, Snoop, the folks at BET,Armstrong Williams,Walter Williams,Ray Nagin,Marion Barry,William Jefferson, Arenda Troutman, The Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson,and many more. All contributing to cooning and coonery in America, and to the embarrassment of well meaning black folks everywhere.

Oh, before I go, I want to say good luck to a sister that's fighting the good fight against corruption in Louisiana. Many people forget that even before Katrina there were many corrupt forces at work in the "Big Easy". Katrina has just made it worse. This lady is a whistle blower, and without getting into the details of her case, I will only say that if successful, allot of people will be exposed, and will go down like some of the areas of that great city after Katrina hit.


Check out her story at: http://www.lawgrace.org/2006/06/30/casualties-from-corruption/ Or e-mail her at: Barbara@lawgrace.org



I hope my man over at wesawthat follows up on this, and I want to thank him for bringing this sister's plight to my attention.

Just remember, justice never sleeps!







Tuesday, November 21, 2006

You Nig*#*s Can't Take A Joke?


Like I wasn't going to comment on this story. OK, so we all know by now how my man Michael Richards, AKA "Kramer", watched one too many episodes of Def Comedy Jam, and thought he could go on stage and drop the "N" word over and over to a bunch of hecklers. Those few moments might have cost Richards whatever future he had left in show business. Because, as it has been proven time and time again; America does not like an open racist.

No sir, our racist have to be like our gays used to be; in the closet. And once they cross that line and have a total melt down like old "Kramer" did, they are toast! I guess "Kramer" just couldn't take it anymore, and he made enough "f&%k you" money from doing Seinfeld that he could afford to blow up a career at this stage in his life. Hey, the guy probably figured; "what the f*&k I am sick of hiding my true feeling, I will tell these niggers and every one else what I really feel". Imagine how liberating that was for him. Yeah, sure he had to go on Letterman and play the game. "I am not racist that's what was so insane about it..." hey, "Kramer" your fingers are crossed. But he had to do it, if only for Jerry and the rest of the crew who still have careers to think about.

"I am sick over this. I'm sure Michael is also sick over this horrible horrible mistake" MISTAKE!! Like WTF? Come on Jerry, you are smarter than that. You know and I know that Kramer's ass didn't make a mistake, he spoke how he felt. And you know what, I say good for him. I wish more Americans would be as honest as "Kramer". I think we would all be better for it. Can you imagine after Kanye famously declared: "George Bush doesn't care about black people" Our commander in Chief stepping up to the plate and saying: "Damn right I don't care about you black mother f&*%#rs, why should I? You don't vote for me anyway". We would then all be like that poor white lady in the audience at the "Laugh Factory" who can be heard saying:" Oh my God", when "Kramer" went after those two "brothers" heckling him. How can our President say that? But I bet Bush would feel a lot better about himself. "Yeah Laura, I told those black motherf*&%#@s, I am so sick of their sh*&"! How liberating.

Don't worry "Kramer", yes, I think your career is essentially over in this comedy business. But look at the bright side: you can always perform at the Republican Convention every four years. Or, at NASCAR events; heck, you could even open for George "macaca man" Allen when he tries to make a comeback. So all is not lost. Just make the rounds like Mel Gibson did, get a few more house Negroes like George Wallace to come out and support you, and you will be fine. We are a very forgiving country, and us black folks are especially forgiving. -I wouldn't be surprised if you are front and center in a Baptist church in South Central come this Sunday as a guest of the good reverend- Now white folks, I am not too sure about. Because I have written about this before, and if there is one thing white folks hate, it's when another white person is dumb enough to let the world know what many of them think about us black folks. Some things you just don't say in public "Kramer", all those Seinfeld scripts must have fried your brain. No wonder we never saw black folks on Seinfeld, I guess you didn't want them around you huh.

I could go on and on about this, but it's too easy, and frankly, I am sick of all the faux outrage and the non stop media blitz. Word of advise to the next comic that tries ethnic humor, make sure that sh** is funny, and as one of my white colleagues told me; remember the golden rule: It's cool to make fun of your own race, and if you go after another race, make sure the sh*& is true. Like when Italian comic, Don Marero, [sic] goes after black folks with that ink pen routine: No, I am not going to tell you the joke. But why do we say sh*% like "ink pen", as if there is any other kind?

"They're going to arrest me for a calling a black man a nigger".....

"Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass"

Fifty years ago that sh*& would have been funny to some folks, but it ain't funny now Michael, not to the folks that count. And they might not arrest you, but they sure are going to punish your ass for opening old wounds.


Anyway, I am going to rent some old Seinfeld episodes now, I want to see the few scenes with black folks and Kramer interacting. Hey maybe we are not giving Michael Richards credit for one thing. The guy must have been a really great actor.