Some special coons.

I know I retired the "Coonie Awards", but just for the sake of this latest Obama controversy, and the "O"man's campaign, I have decided to revive the "Coonies" just one more time. Some of these noteworthy coons are folks who have relished in the Reverend Wright fiasco, and have benefited in one way or another from it. But all of these Coons have distinguished themselves by contributing to the downfall of A-mery-can politics and discourse.

1. Bill Clinton: You may have been the "first black President", but Bubba, black folks don't love you anymore. And after all the dumb shit you have been saying lately, can you blame them?

2. Geraldine Ferraro: (Yes Geri, white women can be Coons too) A Black man is lucky to be born black in A-merry-ca? You must have lost your fucking mind. And you are upset because you were lumped with Jeremiah Wright? My question to you would be why? You are more dangerous than the good Reverend. You ran for the second highest office in the land, he did not.

3. Robert Johnson: Mr. Johnson, having money doesn't shield you from being a Coon, it only makes you a rich Coon. Owning that coon acting, rump shaking, coonfest network was bad, but your comments about Barack Obama during this election cycle was over the top. Try taking some of that money of yours and buying a fucking clue.

4. Juan Williams (And all other people of color who accept invitations to appear on FAKE NEWS) Juan, I am really torn about you; but I think I am going to send you a Coonie. If only because you are on that racist propaganda network, and because I am sure that you are cashing that Rupert Murdoch check. You also represent a very troubling trend: Whenever FAKE NEWS offends black folks by doing what they do, they trot out folks like you to make A-merry-cans think that we (Black folks) co-sign with their bull shit.

5. Andrew Young: See John Lewis for how an icon from the civil rights era should behave. First Wal-Mart, and then your behavior during this election primary. My god man, get off the stage.

6. Ken Blackwell: Some folks have made the argument that this coon actually cost the dumbocrats the White House in 2004. As the Secretary of State of Ohio, he was partially responsible for some of the voting irregularities that took place there. Irregularities which benefited the rethuglicans and George Bush. That alone gets him on this list. And when I see him on television night in and night out bashing the "O" man, I have to wonder about his true motivation behind that shit.

7. Glen Beck/Sean Hannity/Bill Orielly: I support the First Amendment as much as the next person... but these clowns really make me wonder sometimes.

8. Tavis Smiley: Tavis, I tried watching your TV show the other night, but I couldn't get that green tint from my television screen. I just can't figure out if it was caused by your envy of the "O" man, or if it was due to all that corporate money you have been raking in lately.

9. DMX: Sorry, I have to give this dumb ass Negro an award. You never heard of Barack Obama, and you are proud of that shit?

10. Pat Buchanan: Every now and then you make sense, but thanks to the Obama run for President, your true colors have been showing.

Okay, now the "Coonies" are officially retired for real.

Happy Easter!

Those lucky male Negroes.

Geraldine Ferraro just made a brilliant career move. This former political has been and sometimes news pundit has now elevated herself to A-1 status. Don't believe me? Watch how she will become a regular on FUCK NEWS now. Watch the speaking engagements increase and get more expensive, watch all the friendly editorials and all the T.V. appearances. (Oh wait, it already started).

Sure there are some folks feigning outrage now over her recent comments, but that too will blow over, and the outrage won't last. Not when a significant segment of the population agrees with her. "Way to go Geri, way to tell it like it is. We are sick of biting our tongue when it comes to race, you are our new A-merry-can hero." The only surprising thing is that more white folks in a position similar to Geraldine just don't follow this script. Also, make no mistake, Geraldine might have been making a shrewed political move on behalf of the "Ice Queen", and if that's the case, she is even smarter than I thought she was.

Still, I have to wonder about this "lucky" black man thing that Geri is talking about. I mean I am a black man, and although I feel lucky to be alive and for all the good things that has happened to me, I don't think they happened because I am black. In fact, I think they happened inspite of the fact that I am black in A-merry-ca. And even though the "O" man's mother is white, I don't think he is any different. When you think about it, Geri's position and statements just defies logic. If black men like Obama are lucky to be black in A-merry-ca, how does she explain away the fact that 12% of us are locked up in prison? How does she explain the fact that our life expectancy is way lower than folks in the majority population? How does she explain the fact that far more of us are unemployed? Or that the ones that are working make so much less than men in the majority population?

But I guess I should count my blessings. I mean as a black man I would get first dibs on Lark Voorhies, Tyra Banks, and Halle Be....well maybe not Halle. I could show up late for appointments all the time and blame it on CP time. I can never really lose my driver's license because I am asked to show it all the time. I don't have to go skiing bungee jumping and rock climbing to find excitement, because just waking up every day and navigating the pit falls of every day life is excitement enough for me. And if I ever go to prison, I can take comfort in the fact that I would have lots of company. I don't have to worry about working. I can just sit at home all day and be a bum, because that's what everyone pretty much expects me to do, so there is no pressure.

Yes Geri, I guess I am one lucky guy.