Showing posts with label dance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dance. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Dance Card.


"I have to say that you know,you know, I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities you know, ad some of the other stuff before I can accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother."


Those were the words which the "O" man uttered to the CNN moderator the other night in response to a question about whether Bill Clinton was actually the "first black president." Of course the "O" man caught some flack from some folks, but it didn't bother the field one little bit. Hell, I was just wondering what kind of test I would use to find out if Bill was really one of us in disguise: "Quick, what's your favorite EWF song? "And if the son of a bitch broke out with "Reasons" without even blinking an eye, I would quickly have another one for his ass: "Do you have to use lotion in the winter time?" Or, "how do you know when you are being followed in a department store?" Or, "have you ever been stopped by a very polite state trooper who just wanted to see your license, proof of insurance, and registration please?" See, there are other tests I could give Bill other than merely wanting to know if he could dance. I mean come on "O" man, some of us can't even dance, and we are brothers fo real. But I get it, Bill and Hillary are playing the race card, so you might as well play the dance card right back at em.




Of course Hillary had a come back for the "O" man. She wanted the "O" man to know that it could be arranged for a sit down with Bill to see if he was really a brother or not. Mmmmm.....now if Hillary really wanted to set off some political fireworks, she could have said something like: "Hey, he sure seems like a brother to me." But then I am sure Michelle Obama would fire off a statement the next day saying something like: "Hillary I know what it's like to be with a black man, and trust me, Bill ain't no black man." To which Hillary might have then replied........ahh fuck it, I am going to leave this one alone. But you get the point. This is what happens when we combine race with our politics folks, there is just so much craziness we can endure in one political season. I know Toni Morrison regrets making that A-merry-ca's first black prez statement, because folks have been running with that shit ever since. And the scary thing is that Bill himself is actually starting to believe that shit. That's why he is so comfortable talking about the "O" man every chance he gets. He thinks he is one of us.

But I bet Bill couldn't pass my little pop quiz, oh he might be able to dance his ass off, but I used to see white boys on Soul Train all the time.






Saturday, December 22, 2007

"Bust a move"!




So last night I was at my seventh, or was it eight ( I lost count) Christmas party of the season. This was one of those shindigs thrown by one of the bigger law firms in town. It was at the Bellevue Hotel and there had to be over 500 people in attendance.



Anyway, I was having a decent time inspite of the crowd. I was making my rounds, swiping the finger foods from the trays, and sipping some cocktails. By the time the DJ started playing the standard party songs, I found myself in the company of some older melanin challenged attorneys. I recognized a classic Kool & The Gang joint , and I think I shook my head ever so slightly. This is when, of course, I got the "why aren't you "busting a move"? query ( Honest to god she said "bust a move"). I preceded to tell her that I couldn't dance. And the truth of the matter is, if it's not reggae or a slow jam, you will never see the field on the dance floor. I just have never been able to "bust a move". I tend to do all my dancing horizontally if you get my drift. Still, I enjoy watching a good dancer or dancers as much as the next person, I just can't "bust a move" unless there is a reggae beat. I can't even do that electric slide, which is a group dance if I ever saw one. "Field slide your ass right back to the sidelines, you are confusing us."






"Come on field, time to head out to the dance floor". I truthfully told her again that I could not, but she wasn't having it. "Come on I know you can dance." She almost came out and said; Your people are all dancers, but she didn't. Still, I could see the disappointment in her eyes. How could a black man not dance to some funky ass Kool & The Gang? I was doing some thinking too; "Why would your racist ass just assume that I can dance because I am black." But I didn't, I just excused myself and went to the next group.



Sometimes it pays to just punt.