Lately, a couple of female commentors on this site have accused me of being insensitive, and even worse, sexist. One former regular--I think her name is kitty---said she was taking a hiatus from the fields, because she found my elephant donkey pic to be offensive and sexist.
Now I have to be honest, as someone who considers himself pretty forward thinking and tolerant, these accusations have thrown me off a little bit. I mean, part of the reason I blog is to inform and expose. And I can't sit here and blog on my high horse if I am guilty of the things I accuse other people of doing.
I have actually posted my own version of a racism quiz here before, because I think this type of exercise can be important. So in order to find out if I was actually too insensitive to the opposite sex, I took the quiz I posted below, which I happened to jack from Xy online. I think you should take it too---even if you are a woman---because although it might not be 100% accurate, I think it will give you an idea of how much work you need---or don't need---in this area.
Hey, it's football season, guys, this is the perfect time to see where we stack up. I will tell you my score later ;)
1. Your boss puts up a Playboy centrefold at work. You
a) blush and ignore it.
b) graffiti it or pull it down.
c) find the afternoons aren't as boring as they used to be.
d) put up a male pin-up.
2. How many erogenous zones are there on a man's body?
a) None.
b) One.
c) Eight.
d) An infinite number.
e) She decides.
3. Using condoms is
a) the greatest gift a man can give.
b) a last resort.
c) blocking the natural flow.
d) like having a shower in a raincoat.
e) not a problem.
4. You're having a drink with a friend and he starts talking about problems with his wife or girlfriend. You
a) tell him to get a grip on himself.
b) buy him another beer.
c) buy him another beer.
d) tell him "your shout."
e) feel much better about the fact that you've been sleeping with him.
5. Safe sex is
a) doing it in a Volvo wearing a seat-belt.
b) the only sex.
c) keeping your juices to yourself.
d) when she's on the Pill.
6. It's the middle of the night and the baby is crying. Do you
a) snore extra-loudly?
b) toss for it?
c) get up? She carried the kid for 9 months, it's the least I can do.
d) wake your partner up to tell her?
7. When a woman says "no" she means
a) you're on the right track, try harder.
b) no.
c) whatever she means, she said no.
d) she's a lesbian.
e) I'm oppressing her.
8. You find out one of your work-mates is gay. You
a) welcome him with open arms.
b) start wearing rubber gloves.
c) look to him for total guidance.
d) tell everyone.
e) sweat every time he smiles at you.
9. How would you describe your penis?
a) It's kinda cute.
b) My love-pump.
c) Inevitably oppressive.
d) Fun.
10. You hit your thumb with a hammer. You
a) break the hammer.
b) whistle 'Que Sera Sera' as you nonchalantly hammer in the next nail.
c) give up.
d) run crying to the nearest woman.
11. The vacuuming?
a) What vacuuming? The house looks fine to me.
b) is penance for the patriarchy.
c) just seems to happen.
d) is a sort of meditation.
12. You're accused of sexism. How do you respond?
a) Apologise. Keep apologising. Get on your knees.
b) Slap her.
c) Listen, give it some thought.
13. The film "Deep Throat" is
a) a manifesto for rape and exploitation.
b) in the top ten.
c) a dentist's training video.
d) the sequel to "Jaws".
14. A male friend hugs you. You
a) hug him back, bury your face in his shoulder and groan softly.
b) pat him on the back and get it over with.
c) flatten him.
d) assume he wants sex.
15. Women's periods are
a) sweeter than wine.
b) artistic styles, like Picasso's "blue" period.
c) disgusting.
d) like red rags to a bull.
e) not a problem at all.
a) blush and ignore it.
b) graffiti it or pull it down.
c) find the afternoons aren't as boring as they used to be.
d) put up a male pin-up.
2. How many erogenous zones are there on a man's body?
a) None.
b) One.
c) Eight.
d) An infinite number.
e) She decides.
3. Using condoms is
a) the greatest gift a man can give.
b) a last resort.
c) blocking the natural flow.
d) like having a shower in a raincoat.
e) not a problem.
4. You're having a drink with a friend and he starts talking about problems with his wife or girlfriend. You
a) tell him to get a grip on himself.
b) buy him another beer.
c) buy him another beer.
d) tell him "your shout."
e) feel much better about the fact that you've been sleeping with him.
5. Safe sex is
a) doing it in a Volvo wearing a seat-belt.
b) the only sex.
c) keeping your juices to yourself.
d) when she's on the Pill.
6. It's the middle of the night and the baby is crying. Do you
a) snore extra-loudly?
b) toss for it?
c) get up? She carried the kid for 9 months, it's the least I can do.
d) wake your partner up to tell her?
7. When a woman says "no" she means
a) you're on the right track, try harder.
b) no.
c) whatever she means, she said no.
d) she's a lesbian.
e) I'm oppressing her.
8. You find out one of your work-mates is gay. You
a) welcome him with open arms.
b) start wearing rubber gloves.
c) look to him for total guidance.
d) tell everyone.
e) sweat every time he smiles at you.
9. How would you describe your penis?
a) It's kinda cute.
b) My love-pump.
c) Inevitably oppressive.
d) Fun.
10. You hit your thumb with a hammer. You
a) break the hammer.
b) whistle 'Que Sera Sera' as you nonchalantly hammer in the next nail.
c) give up.
d) run crying to the nearest woman.
11. The vacuuming?
a) What vacuuming? The house looks fine to me.
b) is penance for the patriarchy.
c) just seems to happen.
d) is a sort of meditation.
12. You're accused of sexism. How do you respond?
a) Apologise. Keep apologising. Get on your knees.
b) Slap her.
c) Listen, give it some thought.
13. The film "Deep Throat" is
a) a manifesto for rape and exploitation.
b) in the top ten.
c) a dentist's training video.
d) the sequel to "Jaws".
14. A male friend hugs you. You
a) hug him back, bury your face in his shoulder and groan softly.
b) pat him on the back and get it over with.
c) flatten him.
d) assume he wants sex.
15. Women's periods are
a) sweeter than wine.
b) artistic styles, like Picasso's "blue" period.
c) disgusting.
d) like red rags to a bull.
e) not a problem at all.
Scoring
To find out how sensitive you are, circle your answer for each question, add up your score and match it with the descriptions.
1. a. 5, b. 4, c. 0, d. 4
2. a. 0, b. 1, c. 4, d. 4, e. 10
3. a. 6, b. 0, c. 2, d. 3, e. 5
4. a. 1, b. 0, c. 0, d. 0, e. 3
5. a. 0, b. 4, c. 3, d. 1
6. a. 0, b. 3, c. 4, d. 1
7. a. 0, b. 4, b. 4, d. 0, e. 6
8. a. 5, b. -2, c. 8, d. 1, e. 2
9. a. 4, b. 0, c. 15, d. 4
10. a. 0, b. 4, c. 2, d. 6
11. a. 1, b. 5, c. 0, d. 3
12. a. 10, b. 0, c. 4
13. a. 4, b. -2, c. 1, d. 1
14. a. 4, b. 2, c. -1, d. 0
15. a. 6, b. 1, c. 0, d. 3, e. 4
How you rate
Score of 71 to 90
You are a highly sensitive man, ever vigilant to the possibility of displaying sexist behaviour or thinking. You've given priority to the women in your life, even to the point of dependency. In fact, you're too sensitive - you've assumed a burden of guilt and self-hatred. This prevents you from developing a confident and truly non-oppressive masculinity, as you continually seek pity and forgiveness. It's time to break out of this cycle. You have real strengths, such as your ability to empathise and listen, but these must be combined with assertiveness and self-esteem.
Score of 15 to 69
You have managed to combine a healthy and pro-feminist sensitivity with self-esteem and autonomy. You've come to terms with basic issues of sexuality, and show awareness and tact. You sometimes make mistakes, but you can handle this and you learn in the process.
Score of -5 to 14
This can't be said nicely. You're a patriarchal bastard. You don't understand women, and you don't particularly care. You have less listening skills than a brick. You think gay men are punching bags. You're probably insecure and hostile. There is positive potential in your rough-edged strength, but the value of this is thwarted by your insensitivity.
