Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Sorry Jerry!

Hi Jerry welcome to your new home. I know this isn't quite what you expected but sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men if you know what I mean.

There must be a mistake....ahh what's your name?

Just call me Reds.

Yeah well "Reds" this isn't quite what I expected, I mean where are all the Angels, the streets of gold, and the pearly gates?

Sorry Jerry that's in the other place.

This isn't fair, after all the good works I did while I was alive, this is the reward I get?

What good works?

Well, like all the people I brought to Christ. Heck I had a congregation of 24,000 members at one time. I, along with my moral majority, was responsible for the rise of the Southern christian conservative movement,and the election of republican presidents like Ronald Reagan and the first George Bush.

Yeah, well that's exactly why you are here.

But my God man....

Ahh don't use that name down here.

Sorry, but I am looking around and recognizing people down here like Lee Harvey Oswald, Ted Bundy, and Al Capone, and I have to wonder; how did I end up in the same place as these ungodly souls?

Yeah well didn't you say after 911 that "God continues to lift the curtain and give America what she deserves"? I mean you basically blamed Gays and the ACLU for the attacks on America. Not to mention you said that "If you're not a born again Christian, you're a failure as a human being." You also said that the "ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews." Then you supported the apartheid government of South Africa and said that minority rule is a good thing there. Now if all that doesn't qualify you for a permanent home down here I don't know what does.

Yes but I fought for christian values and returning America to her true christian roots all of my life.

Yes and you also supported the segregation of America's citizens for a large part of your life, and went as far to speak at segregationist rallies. You started racially segregated schools to avoid public school desegregation for crying out loud!

Yes but that was a long time ago. I stopped supported those ideas before I came down here.
Speaking of down here,is it always going to be this hot?

Yes I am afraid so Jerry, in fact, it's going to get a lot hotter.


Professor Zero said...

I know one should respect the dead but I can't help being delighted. I like your picture of him on the conveyer belt...

Brian said...

Oh My....!!!!!

I just left Skep's site...thinking how cold they were to the poor man... and I decide to pop over here for some lighter fair.
You are worse!

I damn near chocked when I saw that photo. LOL

I'm trying to be good... but you and Skep have me going.

They are even clowning this man over at the Moderate Voice... not exactly a liberal website... Mostly moderate Republicans & Independents.


He wrote his own script though... With all of the hate speech and bigotry he engaged in.

MartiniCocoa said...

So honest, so refreshing, so hysterical.

Paula D. said...

You are a trip!

Dangerfield said...

You are cold. Enjoyed the post.

voodooguru said...

Fal(l)well - damn sure hope so.

The canonisation of Saint Jerry will certainly give Fox News something to talk - sorry, babble about. Them "negroes" are working their little rings off just trying to avoid talking about the morass that is Iraq and all the scandal, corruption, malfeasance - abroad and at home.

This will be a [Virtual] State Funeral, be interesting to see if anyone hoiks up the apartheid angle.

Anybody heard a religious field negro-type mourning Brother Fallwell yet?

JustMeWriting said...

OMG...that was amazing. Truely a chicken going home to roost...LOL. What a great post.

Not Your Mama said...

Absolutely fabulous.

west coast story said...

LOL. Maybe the media IS liberal. I noted a distinct lack of hysterical overreporting that typically occurs when someone famous (or infamous) dies. I imagine FAUX News covered his miserable life and death ad nauseum but things were not so rosy on CNN where, when I surfed by, they were giving mostly warts coverage of a warts and all bio on the man.

I'm sure Fallwell will need a big eternal cocktail when St. Peter tells him he's not on the list. Buh-bye, Jerry.

Anonymous said...

LMAO You been around the world right? Cuz you a trip

Woozie said...


dc_speaks said...

that was hilarious, field.

too funny!

Excellent post.

-=Topper=- said...

Like I have said elsewhere, the world is one less man, better off.

But they go in threes, who should we appoint as the next denizen of the deep, aka six feet under and dead.

My favs next up would be Jimmy Swaggart, and Pat Robertson.

Those old guys I would give natural causes. Then there is Robert Tilton. I'll leave him out of the three and leave natural causes out of it. Someone should just shoot that nut, and BET should be given permanent "house" status for giving him a pulpit.

field negro said...

I had to keep this post light, because if I got serious and said how I feel about this guy; there is no telling what I would have said.

BTW, did anyone catch Christopher Hitchins [sic] on CNN (Anderson Cooper I think) talking about the good Rev.?


Francis Holland said...

I think it would behoove us to stop using the word "racism" entirely, if only because the word presupposes the existence of "race," which is a delusional "scientific racism" concept. There's just as much evidence that the world is flat as there is that race exists. "Race" is based almost entirely on visual cues and similarly we can "see with our own eyes" that the earth is flat, not round.

Fortunately for science, we have integrated other information that tells us that the world is NOT flat, even if it seems to be. We have also integrated scientific information that contradicts the "different species" theory, like the fact that our blood and organs are interchangeable regardless of skin color and depending more on other factors that have nothing to do with skin color.

But obviously there are a lot of people who are very invested in pepetuating our believe in the fallacy of race. Even worse, every time we use the word "racism" we enable those liars by conceding that "race" exists and that we are from a different "race."

If I say, "You hate me because I am a vampire, then I am implicitly asserting and conceding both that vampires exist and that I am a vampire. Likewise, if I say, "You hate me because of my Black "race," then I am conceding both that Black "race" exists and that I am an example of that different "race." Once you concede that you are of a difference race/species from white people, you will find it impossible to convince them that our species is anything similar to or as good as theirs. And you also invite endless comparisons of one "race" to the other. And that is the merry-go-round on which we find ourselves, with even Black people insisting that the delusional concept of "race" is central to our reality.

Unfortunately, that means we're just as sick as are the "racist" because we, too, are "racists," by my definition. I believe that a "racist" is simply a person who believes, in the face of all scientific evidence to the contrary, that "race" exists in the first place.

My skin color, facial morphology and hair are different from that of many other people, just like I am taller and shorter than some, fatter and skinnier than some, more muscular and less muscular than some, regardless of skin color. But that's ALL color is biologically: one of many physical characteristics.

I will NEVER, EVER concede again that "race" exists, because to do so facilitates and enables that which we most hate - that which we incorrectly and misguidedly call "racism."

The English language is certainly variable enough that we can describe that phenomenon with a word or phrase - ANY OTHER WORD OR PHRASE - that does not concede a priori that we are from a different species than white people. As much as we might want to disown them, the similarity of our biologies and our common origins in the Fertile Crescent simply do not allow us to disown whites (or them us) any more than we can disown our own parents.

As a matter of biology, when we are born into the human species, we must accept our shared familyhood with all others who share our species, regardless of color, like it or not.

Anonymous said...

When I heard Falwell was dead, the first thing that popped into my mind was Larry Flynt. I remember reading about the court case (Hustler Magazine vs. Falwell) and seeing that movie (People Vs. Larry Flynt).

I'm no fan of Flynt, but I can't help but wonder what he thinks of this.

GiGi - The Shy Giraffe said...

now that was an entertaining reading even have the visual going on in my head.


Liz Dwyer said...

My favorite thing was telling a pretty well-educated 22 year-old colleague that Falwell had died. She said, "Who's Jerry Falwell?"