"Grumpy" Friday.

It's cold here on the East Cost y'all, and I just pulled into le negre maison.

Anywho, I am not in a good mood. It's damn near ten o'clock and I spent most of my time in my car today since getting off the plantation.

Tonight I found myself idling behind this car with a bumper sticker that said "my child is a straight A student" at Woodlawn Elementary School or some shit like that, and I couldn't help but think the entire time just how much I hate that kind of crap. (People bragging about their "crumb snatchers" on a freaking bumper sticker)

So tonight, while sitting at my computer, I was thinking about some of the other shit that pisses me off; and I figured I would share. What the hell, I am not in a good mood, so I might as well take you there with me. I have my annual check up tomorrow, so that might have something to do with my anger and my angst.

So here are a few things that are pissing me the fuck off right about now. Of course this list could change tomorrow after a good night's sleep.

1. People who think they are smarter than everyone else. Like the clown who commented below one of my posts over at "Daily Voice." Dude am I really supposed to be impressed with your canned knowledge of world affairs? Here is the thing: I know I am not very smart, and I just like to talk a lot of shit. But my sister is a Fulbright Scholar, and I don't remember ever losing an argument to her.

2. Black people who can't talk but have talk shows piss me off. ( Armstrong and Tavis are you reading this?)

3. Knowing that Michael (Tristan Wilds) from the "Wire" is on the new "90210" pisses me off.

4. Cities with no character piss me off. (Atlanta and Charlotte comes to mind)

5. Driving in Jersey pisses me off.

6. Old ass men who dress like they are sixteen piss me off.

7. And since we are talking about dress; yes, short sleeve dress shirts still piss me the fuck off.

8. Duke Basketball, and Penn State Football piss me off. (I am still trying to figure out why. Maybe it's the fact that they both cheat, yet everyone in the country thinks they run their programs the right way)

9. Closed minded people who base their opinions on groups of people, simply based on their interaction with just a few people in said group, piss me off.

10. And finally, Doctor's appointments piss me off....no, I take that back, they scare me.

Hey that was a short list. Maybe I am not in such a bad mood after all.

In defense of "FIVE".

Guy talk alert!

I rarely talk about sports on this blog, because I usually like to limit my rants to social issues and politics. Not that I don't get passionate about sports. It's just that unlike politics and world affairs, it's not exactly life or death we are talking about. Unless, of course, you happen to live in Philly.

Lately in our fair city and damn near everywhere else sports is talked about in A-merry-ca, the topic of the discussion has been the quarterback of our football team. (Or as we affectionately call him: "Five".) Now it seems that "Five" has gone and put his foot in his mouth He declared, after a pathetic tie with the Cincinnati BUNG-LES, that he did not think that there could be a tie in the NFL. A not too bright statement to be sure, but not the end of the free world as we know it. Honestly, "Five" not knowing whether or not there were ties in the NFL wasn't going to affect the outcome of the game. Not with our genius of a coach calling the plays. (HEY ANDY, HERE IS A NEWSFLASH FOR YA: IF YOU CAN'T CONVERT A 4TH AND 1 TO BEAT THE STINKING BUN-GLES, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE COACHING IN THIS LEAGUE). Whew. See why I don't like to talk sports?) The truth of the matter is that the Eagles just aren't that good this year. But this post isn't even about what kind of team the Eagles are at this point in the season. No, it's about the backlash and the heat that "Five" has been taking in this city and elsewhere because of his misstatement. (Tiki Barber needs to shut the fuck up, because the last time I checked, the G Men didn't win a ring until his black ass left) John Smallwood, one of the biggest sports writers here, called it "one of the most embarrassing gaffes in recent sports history" Huh? Mr. Smallwood, just what the hell have you been smoking? How is it a sports gaffe when it didn't affect the outcome of the stinking game? For gaffes see Chris Weber's time out when they had none left which cost Michigan an NCAA championship game to North Carolina. See Brett Favre's interception in last year's NFC Championship game to end it. See Bill Buckner's infamous error in 1986 which cost Red Sox Nation a World Series. Those are sports gaffes Mr. Smallwood, not knowing how the overtime rule works in the NFL.

The devil must be wearing ear muffs and gloves today, because I actualy agree with Jason Whitlock's take on this story. Donovan has been a class act on and off the field, and is the best quarterback this city has ever had (and I loved me some Randall), so why kill the guy for this foot in mouth moment? Is he a little soft and somewhat of a mama's boy? Yes. Does he choke at times in the clutch? Yes. Do I wish he would use his legs and create match up problems for defenses like he used to? Yes. But having said all of that, he is still a pretty damn good quarterback, and this city, in spite of the buffoons on sports talk radio (more on them in a minute) should be glad to have him. The truth is, that "Five" has a better winning percentage, more playoff wins, and more playoff appearances than both Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer, all while playing with the dregs that the Eagles provided him with (except for the one glorious year when we had T.O.)throughout the years.

Now these idiots on sports talk here in our city are all over the guy. Forget the fact that he is not the only player in the NFL who has this little rule problem. Yeah yeah yeah, I know he is the quarterback, and he should know better. But I bet McNabb has forgotten more football than these dopes ever knew. All these clowns do is get up every morning and talk shit about our athletes 24/7, while their fat asses sit behind a microphone and pretend to be Joe Sixpacks, before they cash their own big fat checks. I swear they get on my fucking nerves. They remind me of the kid back in college and high school who couldn't get on the field, and who would always have some negative shit to say after a bad loss. Like they could do any better. What a hustle. Only in A-merry-ca.

But field the guy makes millions of dollars shouldn't he at least know the rules of a game that he is paid handsomely to play? Well, I am a lawyer, and until a few years ago if you had said "nunc pro tunc" to me I would have thought you were talking about a city in China. That is, until I had to file a motion with that very title. This is when I had to learn about it really fast.

I bet half of these so called "journalist" can't even pronounce words like aplomb or vestige, yet they rip a guy for not knowing the rules of a game he plays. I really need a break from these phonies.

Now don't get it twisted, I will be all over "Five" the next time he throws an interception, or chokes during the two minute drill. But I am not going to sit here and act like it's the end of the world because he doesn't know the fucking overtime rule in the NFL. Sorry, it's just not that deep.

"TD or no TD-that is the question: Whether tis nobler in my mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outraged Philadelphians Or to take leave from this sea of trouble..."

Ha ha ha, everybody got jokes. I tell you what won't be funny; having to go 1-15 with the next quarterback who comes in here to guide Andy's sinking ship.

Ayman, he is not a "house Negro".

Seems like the folks over at al-Qaeda News have been broadcasting messages again. This time they have set their sights on the O man, our President elect.

"You were born to a Muslim father, but you chose to stand in the ranks of the enemies of the Muslims, and pray the prayer of the Jews, although you claim to be Christian, in order to climb the rungs of leadership in America, Mr Obama was not an "honourable black American" like Malcolm X, he said, but an "abeed al-beit" (house Negro)

Now I don't speak Arabic, so I am going to have to take the word of the folks who do. It seems that they translated Ayman's message and Ayman wasn't too nice to the O man. Apparently al Qaeda's number two is pissed off at the O man, and he used some of the lines from what I consider one of the greatest speeches in A-merry-ca's history to drive home his point. Yep, Ayman compared his O ness to a "house slave"who has chosen to align himself with the "enemies" of Islam. (Dem there is fightin words, his O ness is going to find your asses for sure now. It was cool when Ralph Nader said it, because everyone knows that he is a few tires short of a Chevrolet; but now you guys put that shit out there, and it's on) The al Qaeda folks were even looping brother Malcolm's speech while conducting their broadcast to A-merry-ca. Talk about cojones.

Here is the thing Ayman: you can't just go throwing out the house Negro field Negro references out there. That is my job, and I take that shit seriously. (BTW, thanks for all the web traffic, now that you have every white person in A-merry-ca googling house Negro) I study this thing. You have to know your subjects and what brought them to house Negro or field Negro status. The O man is not a house Negro. In fact, the closest he has ever been was to the patio. Yes he will be living in the (really big) house, but he is not a house slave; he runs that shit. He answers to no one. He is massa. To call him a house Negro would be missing the entire point of just who a house Negro is, and what he represents. And another thing: we field Negroes helped to elect him and put him in the house, so we have no problem with him being there. In fact, we wanted him there. So when you call him a house Negro you are calling all the Negroes who put him there house Negroes as well. That is not cool. If you are trying to get black folks and Muslims in A-merry-ca to sympathize with your cause, this ain't the way to do it, you are only alienating some of the folks here. Have you ever heard the word Obamaholic?

Now, I know things are tough for al Qaeda these days, and they are getting desperate with their efforts to recruit. But attacking A-merry-ca's first black Prez, and a man that is revered throughout the African diaspora is not the way to go about it. Ayman al Zawahiri should stick to attacking George Bush. Now I am wondering if that Cave Negro, Osama, is still alive. If he is he needs to put a check on old Ayman, and fast.

And Ayman, the best advice I can give you is this: you and all the rest of the Cave Negroes need to just chill. Because his O ness is in the house now, and he ain't afraid to use massa's toys.

Those pesky Pirates.

"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest,Yo! ho! ho and a bottle of rum. Drink and the devil had done for the rest,Yo! ho! ho and a bottle of rum. Drink and the devil had done for the rest,Yo! ho! ho and a bottle of rum.Yo! ho! ho and a bottle of rum. Hate lies close to love of gold. Dead men's secrets are tardily told. Yo! ho! ho and a bottle of rum.Yo! ho! ho and a bottle of rum."

The Somali Pirates is not a new African baseball team. No, the Somali Pirates are a bunch of crazy Negroes who have been terrifying shipping traffic off of the coast of Eastern Africa. I have been watching this phenomenon for awhile now, but I just never felt moved to comment on it. That is, until, today. Seems the Somali Pirates done went and jacked a Saudi super tanker with about 100 million dollars worth of oil, and the Royal Family ain't too pleased about it. "Prince Saud Al-Faisal said: “Piracy, like terrorism, is a disease which is against everybody, and everybody must address it together. ...This outrageous act by the pirates, I think, will only reinforce the resolve of the countries of the Red Sea and internationally to fight piracy,” Well yeah; Prince, they are pirates...and I think everyone would agree that they are a problem. But I am not sure about the everybody "together" part. Remember how we dealt with our last Pirate problem in this country? We hung old Captain Nathaniel Gordon in the Tombs of New York for trying to smuggle 962 slaves ( a third of who died) into the country during the height of the Civil War. So we don't play with Pirates in this country. Fortunately, we don't have those types of things happening off the coast of Florida or California; at least not yet.

And I can't say that I blame the Prince for being upset. One hundred million is nothing to sneeze at, even for the Saudis. But who told these Negroes that they can play Black Beard in 2008? And don't these countries have Naval fleets to protect their commercial ships? al Qaeda could learn a thing or two from these Negroes. They are serious about the booty, and I don't mean the ones on BET.

Thing is, I am pretty sure there is no ideological commitment driving these clowns. I am pretty sure that it's just about the money. And from what I can see and read, the Pirate business has been good. A Hong Kong cargo ship was recently hijacked as well. No oil this time though, just wheat. I wonder if they would take the wheat to feed some of the poor hungry people in that region of the world? There would be some nobility in that at least, but somehow I don't think that they are playing Robin Hood with the take. I am pretty sure that these Pirates are acting like.....well Pirates.

These Negroes of the sea are so slick that they have even an Admiral in the U.S. Navy stunned and impressed by their reach and pirating skills. I have to believe that the governments of some of these countries such as Denmark, and China are embarrassed by their inability to control these lawless seafarers. Hell they damn near brought the Russians to their knees recently, when they "jacked" a shipment of military supplies heading to Kenya. (Actually they might have helped the international community with that one. You just can't trust those damn Russians)

So here we have yet still another pesky problem in the world that poor Obama will have to deal with. I bet the first time that he orders the U.S. Navy to bomb those ship robbing Negroes into oblivion there will be an international outcry. "Those were just a bunch of poor men in a motor boats. Why did President Obama have to blow up their tiny boat and kill everyone of those Pirates on board? Ya gotta love it.

Honestly, if someone told me that I would be blogging about Pirates attacking supertankers in 2008, and that a black president might be called on to address the problem, I would have told them to lay off my country's national plant. But here we are; and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for these black beard wanna be Negroes. They have found their treasure chests in the cargo ships of all these fine nations.

"...He’s really good at flicking snot, He can flick to outer-space But he ain’t got the hang of the changing winds And he gets it back in the face.

Yes, he’s not the sort you’d bring back home To meet your Mum and Dad They’d be walking the plank in seconds He’s a proper pirate lad."

Jack Sparrow, eat your heart out.

The Tiger Woods President?

I found the following article from Duke University professor (damn I hate to give a Dukie props), Orin Starn, interesting. He draws a unique parallel between O-merica's two race neutral icons, and lays out what he thinks are the possible pitfalls of our ardent fascination with both men.

"It's not that far-fetched to argue that Tiger Woods' popularity helped pave the way for Barack Obama's smashing victory. That legions of golfing white businessmen already idolized Woods may well have made it less of a stretch for them and others to imagine a black man as the country's president.

For that matter, Woods, much like Obama, presents himself as something of a "post-racial" figure, crossing old color lines by virtue of his mixed ancestry.

But whether or not Woods helped some vote for Obama, the superstar golfer's effect on his sport offers a cautionary lesson about the effect of an Obama presidency: There's no necessary correlation between the feel-good symbolism of a racial breakthrough and actual, on-the-ground progress toward a race-blind America.

Many observers predicted that Woods' example would revolutionize the sociology of golf. They thought many more minority kids would be encouraged to take up the old Scottish pastime, and that the sport would shed its ugly racial past once and for all. (The Professional Golfers' Association Tour had a Caucasians-only clause until 1961.) The golf establishment promotes its youth-golf programs with "Kumbaya"-style TV ads showing smiling inner-city kids, as if the game had indeed put the messy matters of race and money in the rearview mirror. Actually, though, golf has gone into racial reverse by many measures. Back in the 1970s, 10 African Americans played on the PGA Tour. A poor Chicano kid from Dallas, Lee Trevino, became one of the era's top golfers.

Today, Woods is the lone black golfer among the 125 card-holding pros, and there are no black rising stars. Two U.S.-born Latinos now play on the PGA Tour, as do an increased international contingent and some exciting new Asian American stars. But the circuit remains overwhelmingly composed of whites from country-club backgrounds.

You don't even see black or Latino caddies anymore, now that carrying the golf bags of someone like Woods or Phil Mickelson has become a lucrative enterprise.

The reasons for the whitening of professional golf are complex. For example, in the age of the golf cart, golfers no longer use caddies, except for the touring pros. This has shut a traditional back door into the game for poor and minority kids. And to train a golf champion takes big money that many black and Latino families do not have.

So does the Tiger Woods paradox really tell us anything about an Obama presidency? I think so. If the visibility of Woods promotes the illusion of race as "fixed" in golf, the very same danger exists with Obama and the country as a whole. His election encourages a fuzzy, self-congratulatory feeling that we've exorcised the demons of slavery and Jim Crow at last. It can be easy to forget the outsize hardships facing so many black and Latino kids growing up in tough neighborhoods, and just how often poverty, marginalization and brown skin still travel together in America today.

And we don't yet have a government that looks exactly like America either. Just as Woods is now the only African American on the PGA Tour, so Obama was the only one in the U.S. Senate.

The important question is whether an Obama administration will make strides toward addressing the old demons of poverty and racial inequality that still haunt 21st-century America. His election was a good opening drive. But we still have a long iron over water ahead."

Yes, and there is a sand trap all around the putting green. But to stay with the golfing analogy; that article was a hole in one.

Article here.

WWOD?

Early this past Saturday morning (I mean early. It had to be around 7:00AM) I was at a tennis club in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. I was playing some doubles with three other guys who I play with on a regular basis, and there were two middle aged gentlemen playing on the court right next to us. They seemed to be going at it pretty hard, but I didn't really pay much attention to them because I was too caught up in the my own game.


Now I am a 4.0 player (you tennis "buffs" will know what that means) and the guys I was playing with were 4.0 players and above, as well. So we were getting into it pretty good, and going at each other, when one of the gentlemen I mentioned stepped over to our court and said the following: "Fellows I know this isn't exactly a library, but could you guys keep it down just a little bit in between points, we are trying really hard to concentrate over here." Yep, those were his exact words. Keep in mind, we were playing tennis, not chess. So at this point we are all pretty much stunned, and we kept looking at each other for answers, trying to figure out if the guy was serious. He was. He kept looking at us and was obviously waiting for an acknowledgement that we would in fact tone it down as he requested.

Well, being the big mouth that I am, I told him in no uncertain terms that he had to be fucking kidding, and that we weren't in a library, so his best bet was to just enjoy his game and leave us the fuck alone. Or something to that effect. He stared at me for a second or two, started to say something, but he seemed to think better of it and went back to his game.

One of the guys I was playing with blamed the incident on Obama. "Get used to it guys, now that Obama is president they are going to be mad at us." No, the guy was just an asshole," I told him. "That guy would have told little green men from Mars to keep the noise down." Nope, that was not an Obama backlash; but this is , and so was this, and this.... I could go on, but you get the point. Now I ask you; is this "change we can believe in"?

Folks, all over Omerica there are more and more stories of this kind of "racial backlash" because his O ness is now the commander in chief. But we knew this would happen, didn't we? Not everyone in these divided states is happy about "change" and they are not shy about letting us know about it.


But here is the deal: we shouldn't get too hung up on this crap. Times are hard, people are losing their jobs and their homes in record numbers. These are tough times here in Omerica, and these are the times when people's true racial attitudes and their ignorance will start to show. This is when everyone is fighting for the scraps off the table, and like a pack of dogs they will go after each other for the very last piece. And if they don't get it, the racial scapegoating will begin. This is what we are seeing now.


So since it doesn't look like things are going to get any better anytime soon, I hope we don't over react to every little incident, and I hope that we don't let hearing about incidents like the ones I provided in the various links throw us off of our game.


S0 just what is our game? Well, it's doing everything in our powers to make sure that our boy succeeds. If it means doing more volunteer work, being better role models, and taking more personal responsibility, then so be it. Which, by the way, are all things we should be doing and should have been doing before his O ness became president elect in the first place. But still, we just have to be better citizens. (Ahh field, come on, you swore at the guy, what kind of role model and good citizen were you being?) Yes, I know, and this is why I went and apologized to the guy right after our game......okay, I am lying, he left before our game was over, but thanks to the dawning of the age of O-quarius, I at least thought about apologizing. Still, I have got to keep a cooler head like my boy Obama. What would Obama do? That should be my new motto. Hell, we all should be thinking wwod. The O man would have told the guy something like: Hey man we are sorry, I will see if I can get everyone to take it down just a notch for you. I am sure you are having a tough time concentrating with our over exuberance on display here the way it is.... you gotta love how smooth the guy is. Hell, I bet if he had just a couple of minutes with old Ken Germana he would have had the old coot pulling down his sign, quicker than you can say, change. Ya know, that ole boy Obama ain't so bad after all. He ain't like them other ones. I can salute him as my commander in chief.


Unfortunately, there is only one Obama, so the rest of us citizens out here are going to have to just deal with all of the bullshit on our own. But still, at the end of the day, we will be alright, cooler heads will prevail, they always do. Unless, of course, I happen to be in the group.

Relax folks, it's just an "off color" remark.

Some folks talked about this next subject in the comments section of my previous post, and I feel compelled to say a few words about it myself. I am talking about Lindsay Lohan's colored moment.

Now let me get this out of the way right now: I am not one to get hung up on names, labels, or what other folks want to call black people. I know that we have gone from colored, to Negro, to Black, and now to African American. And that this is supposed to be some kind of measuring stick of our progress; the fact that folks don't call us colored anymore, but refer to us as African Americans. So if you are in the majority population, and you know all the rules of political correctness, you always refer to us Negro folks as African Americans. This, of course, is only necessary if you are in polite company or hanging with a bunch of people that you don't know. When you are with your friends and people you trust, there is no telling what you might want to call us. I am guessing "colored" would be tame in comparison to some of the other names.

Older white people struggle with this. Bless their hearts. And I can't say that I blame them. I had an older white person tell me a story once and sprinkled in the words "colored fellow" liberally throughout the entire anecdote. But it was cool, I wasn't even offended. I think that was during the time that we were supposed to be black, so the old guy was about two cycles behind the proper and politically correct name for that time period.

But this Lindsay Lohan thing is interesting, because she is younger, and you would expect that she would know better. Besides, let's keep it real here folks, Lindsay gets around. So the girl is no house mouse whose world ends at the Hollywood Hills. Hell she is a confessed Obamaholic for crying out loud. So how did she make that little verbal Faux pas? Was it a Freudian slip? Was she on some sexy new Hollywood drug that made her think that she was living in the fifties? Who knows. It's just kind of creepy hearing someone so young use the word "colored" in public, that's all. Hey, maybe that's the new word for black or African Americans out in Cali these days. Maybe us folks in the rest of the country are just not up on the latest Left Coast fads. We are, after all, talking about Cali here. Besides, FOX says it's a "derogatory" term, which right away makes me suspicious. If they are calling it "derogatory" maybe it's not so bad after all.

An what about the accuracy of her statement? Has anyone ever stopped to consider that? I mean the O man isn't black or white is he? Couldn't he then be considered "colored"? In this new "post racial" A-merry-ca maybe "colored" is the new black. I am just saying.

“It was really exciting,”... It’s an amazing feeling. It’s our first, you know, colored president. I am so thrilled to be a part of the country while that’s going on and that actually came into fruition.”

I am thrilled too Lindsay. Just think, we almost had John McCain, and he is white....wait, isn't white a color too? Hmmm, then I guess he would have been a "colored" president as well. Now that I think about it; all the previous presidents were white, so they were all "colored".

Damn it Lindsay, you did use a poor choice of words. You should have said: it's our first, you know, multi colored president. That would have been more accurate, and I don't think you would have offended quite as many people.

Some of us "colored" folks (the black ones) tend to be pretty sensitive at times. But can you blame us? You would be sensitive too if your name kept changing every few years.

I refuse to go there.

Some people often call me messy, and they say that I like to start "stuff" on my blog from time to time. I have been called a "flame thrower", and an "irresponsible blow hard" among other things. But tonight I am fighting back. Tonight I am going to be responsible and take the high road and not give in to Internet rumors, lies, and innuendos.

Take this story of Cindy McCain's affair for instance. If I was as messy and as irresponsible as some folks say that I am, I would have been blogging about it. But I am here to tell you that there is not a single piece of evidence to confirm that this story is in fact true, so I am going to leave it alone. Just because those folks over the National Enquirer are reporting it, that doesn't make it true. I know they broke the John Edwards story, but they got lucky with that one. Those communist over at the "Huffington Post" should be ashamed of themselves for republishing it.

I have to agree with the responsible bloggers like these folks, and say that this was just an Internet blogger driven story, and that there is no truth to it whatsoever..... Ahhh field, you are such an asshole, if this was an Internet story about Michelle Obama would you have even mentioned it on your blog? Wow! What a tough question? That question is causing me to do some serious soul searching. You know what, I probably wouldn't have even mentioned this story if it was about Michelle Obama. I should be fair and honorable, and not give in to my depraved salacious instincts.

Okay, that's it, I am sorry I even mentioned this story on my blog, and I am not going to give this story any play and go there. I should know better, this is just wrong. In fact, I feel so bad about this that I won't mention it here ever again.

Unless....ahh never mind, I won't mention it again, period!

Dog days.

*

The worst mistake Barack Hussein Obama made this past election season, was not when he made that comment about "guns and god" when referring to small town folks. It was not picking Joe Biden instead of Hillary as his running mate. And it wasn't failing to keep the good Reverend in the closet until after the elections. No, the biggest mistake his O ness made was promising those cute little daughters of his that they would get a puppy if he won.

Now, as to be expected, A-merry-cans are losing their natural minds over the prospect of this new pet in the White House. (Wasn't eight years of that little man biter, "Barney", enough for you people?) I told you all that white folks love their pets. Do you need any further proof than this? I swear, you white folks are more excited about the prospect of having a cuddly little pup in the people's house, more than you are of having that family from the South side of Chicago. Now the big question facing Obama isn't what he will do in the Middle East or Iraq; or even how he will try to solve this credit mess that we are in. No, the big question is what kind of pup he will pick for those precious little girls. Poor Michelle. I know she didn't have this dilemma growing up, because her parents were...well, both black. Obama, on the other hand,.....well, he can relate a little bit, at least half of him can....

Now the suggestions are coming fast and furious. It seems that picking a first pup will be a major decision for the new president, and A-merry-cans, bless their pet loving hearts, are waiting with bated breaths. Meanwhile, somewhere in A-merry-ca, a lab owner is furiously writing letters to his editor in hopes of influencing the process.

“We have two criteria that have to be reconciled. One, is that Malia is allergic so it has to be hypoallergenic. There are a number of breeds that are hypoallergenic,” he said. “On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog, but obviously a lot of shelter dogs are mutts — like me. So whether we’re going to be able to balance these two things I think is a pressing issue in the Obama household.”

Oh ohhh, so now we know that just not any little pup can become the first pet. Seems there are some "criteria". See, I knew you were no good O man, the republicans might have been right about you all along. How dare you practice partisanship and discrimination when it comes to picking the little guy? Well you might want to listen to some suggestions before you start setting up these parameters: No Poodles, you could be seen as elitist. No Rottweilers, too mean. (Although I think you might need a good guard dog) No Pit Bulls, we are trying to forget about Michael Vick and that "dark" chapter in our nation's dog loving history. And now, even the American Kennel Club is helping out; seems they have some suggestions too. Just what the hell is a "Bichon Frise"? And just so none of the breeds would be offended, they gave the Obamas a list to choose from. It's a short and distinguished list, all the"Bichon Frises" should be proud. Hell even the government of Peru has stepped in. They actually have a hairless dog over there, [*see pic above] which given Malia's allergies, they think would be perfect for the kids. You gotta love those Peruvians.

Me being the good citizen that I am, and wanting to do my civic duty; I was thinking of some pets the Obamas could bring to the White House as well. I thought, for instance, about a beautiful exotic African parrot. But then I realized that the first time the poor bird said: "Polly wants a cracker" in public, A-merry-cans would lose their red white and blue loving minds. See there? "Cracker"; the bird is only repeating what it hears those racist saying in private.....ahh let me stop I don't want to be too dogmatic about the whole thing.

But seriously, does it have to be a dog? Would Sasha and Malia settle for a nice goldfish, or a cute little fuzzy rabbit? The first rabbit has a nice ring to it. Still, if it has to be a dog, I have a suggestion for you O man; just make sure it comes from the animal shelter. It would send a huge message to every A-merry-can out there, that even a dog who came from a shelter can end up being the first pet some day. Think of the inspiration the little pooch will be to other animals in shelters all across the country? I get teary eyed just thinking about it.

If the dogs could bark "yes we can", they would.

The other war.

I have held off talking about this subject long enough. But now that the elections in these divided states are finally over, I just can't anymore.

Way over on the other side of the world, in a country on a continent many of us don't like to think about, there is a serious civil war going on. No, I am not talking about Iraq, this war is much worse than that. I am talking about the civil war taking place in The Democratic Republic of Congo, or the DRC. As a result of this sad and tragic war, 45,000 people lose their lives every month. That was not a misprint. I wrote 45,000. And, to date, close to 4.5 million people have lost their lives in the largest war in modern African history. Sadly, half of the people dying are children, in a place where only 20% of the children live to reach the ripe old age of five.

But I will excuse you if you have never heard of it. I will excuse you if you think that Laurent Desire-Kabila is a fashion designer, or Kinshasa is just a girl from around the way; because here in A-merry-ca we are programed to ignore such things. Unless, of course, it is taking place in the Middle East, or if we feel that our own interests are threatened.

Back in the early nineteen nineties when the Hutu's were slaughtering the Tutsi minorities in Rwanda, our first black president chose to ignore the planned genocide taking place on the continent that no one cares about (Sorry Sarah, it's a continent not a country). Now I am just hoping that the first real black president doesn't do the same thing. Oh come on field what can poor Obama do, this conflict is complicated, it involves at least four other countries, --including Rwanda--, it involves different ethnic groups(over 200 by last count) and fractured interests and coalitions. Not to mention years and years of tribalism and ethnic strife. The shit has been going on in The Congo ever since Belgium left those savages on their own, and ever since they murdered one of the greatest leaders they ever had, Patrice Lumumba. Yes kind of sounds like the Middle East doesn't it? But we are at least trying to broker the peace there, why not in Central Africa?

I wonder if Obama, a son of that continent, will order his secretary of state to take a serious look at the conflict and try to set up some sort of multi nation peace accord? If anyone can do it, I think he can. I think the leaders in countries like Rwanda, Uganda, and the DRC would listen to him, don't you? He has political capital here at home, why not spend some of it on Africa?

The irony is that it is a region with as much, if not more valuable natural resources than the Middle East. There is oil, uranium, gold, water, and incredible wildlife; yet we choose to ignore all of that, because it's on that dark continent, and we literally refuse to go there.

Maybe we can start blogging and talking about all the atrocities taking place over there a little more. I know that there are blogs dedicated to speaking out about women of color and their causes, I sure hope that they are speaking out about the rapes and mutilations taking place in the DRC, because that shit is seriously fucked up. If a sister is raped in Detroit by some thug, or in a village in Central Africa by some animal masquerading as a soldier, what's the difference? There isn't any.

Let's hope that we can try to put this issue on the front burner and start focusing our energy towards trying to help these poor people. I know it won't be easy, lord knows we have some issues of our own right here to deal with. But we have to start somewhere, and our keypads and our pocket books seems like a good place to start.

Here are a couple of great organizations doing their thing for the people of the DRC. Check them out to learn more about the crisis , and to see how you can get involved.

Let the backlash begin.

It didn't take long for the backlash to start now did it? But we knew it would. I think everyone in O-merica knew that there would be a push back if his O ness became our 44th President. We just didn't expect it to take place at places like Lehigh University. For those of you who do not live in Pennsylvania, Lehigh is a wonderful institution of higher learning. It is about as close to Ivy League you can get without being an actual Ivy League school. The kids there just missed getting into schools like Harvard, Yale, and Princeton; so that should give you an idea of the type of gene pool that we are dealing with. But it's not only the smart kids; it seems that even the jocks are getting into the act.

Sadly, even at Lehigh the poor children of color who are fortunate enough to be attending that fine school, have been forced to deal with hateful and ignorant behavior from their fellow students. All because thy happen to look like the guy who won the highest office in the land. I thought his O ness getting elected was supposed to end incidents of racism? I guess not. Unfortunately, I don't think some of our youngest and brightest got the memo.

But how can we blame them? We can't. Not when elected leaders from...surprise, the republican party, compare our new president to Hitler and imply that he is going to rule as a dictator. What the hell is in the water down there in Georgia? And do you black folks in the "A" ever leave the city limits? I sure hope this is not indicative of what we can expect in the new O-merica. Already there is a run on the gun stores from some of our god fearing gun loving friends, because they fear that his O ness will infringe on their Second Amendment rights. Out of my cold dead hands nigger. Ahhh you gotta love it. Oh come on field, stop it; the man hasn't even taken office yet and there you go chasing racism all over the place.

Yes, I need to chill and just enjoy this historic time in our history. There is so much work to do to make our country better.

"We must come together as a campus community to demonstrate that the hateful and ignorant actions of a few will not be allowed to hurt or intimidate our students or anyone else."

Thank you President Gast. And if he could, I am sure our president elect would thank you as well.