Friday, March 28, 2008


"Field I think I would really like your blog if I understood what you were saying half the time. Like what the hell is WSZ?"

~~White colleague to the field~~

Okay, I understand that when it comes to writing, I am lazy, dyslexic, and selfish. And unless you are a regular to the fields, some of the words that I use can seem downright perplexing.

So in order to make my blog more readable to certain folks who visit the site, I have prepared a little list of fieldisms for you.

Let's start with WSZ-That would be a "white safety zone". I use this to refer to parts of Killadelphia that our city fathers really really want to keep crime free. This would be areas such as Center City, where all of our tourist tend to go. Another example of a WSZ would be Chestnut Hill, where there are some very expensive homes, and where some very important people live. Important meaning rich and white of course.

The frat boy-That would be our president. Because life seems to be one big party to him. While the world and our country goes to hell in a hand basket; all he does is grin and talk as if he is wasted all the time.

Mr. Morton-John McCain because he is always salty.

A-merry-ca-Is what I call this beautiful country we live in. I spell it that way because the pursuit of happiness and being happy is so important to us.

field Negro-Once again white folks, being a field Negro is not a bad thing to most critical thinking black people. Now of course some of us don't like that name; they would be known as house Negroes.
Patio Negro-A Negro who can't make up his mind if he is a house Negro or a field Negro. A Negro that can move between two worlds.

dumbocrat- A dumbocrat belongs to the party with the donkey in A-merry-ca's two party system.

rethuglican-A rethuglican belongs to that other political party; the one with the elephant.

The "O" man-That would be Barry Obama. This guy has achieved rock start status in A-merry-ca and is also *this* close to being the first black president of these divided states. "O" man just seems so rock star, and so popular culture. You know, kind of like K-Fed, or J-Lo.

Obamaholics-Just tune in to this site on any given day and you will see signs of these rabid devoted "O" man lovers. They have been injected with some kind of secret potion which has given them this laser like focus in getting the "O" man elected president. I know one thing, if he does win, he owes his presidency to them.

O-Aid-That's the secret potion that they give to the Obamaholics.

Mrs. Field-That would be the President and CEO of Field Inc.

Cousin-Black folks I know you already know this, but just hang with me while I explain it to my white friends. My cousin is every other black person in A-merry-ca. So if I say I went to a store full of my cousins....

12% rule-This is a little complicated. But I explained it in a post here.

Fam.-Again cousins, I know you know this one, but let me just explain it to the white folks. Fam. is short for family. And I usually use it to refer to one of my cousins that I like.

The bad perm lady has been retired-In the past I used it to refer to Condi Rice, (My current FNOTD) but after the Don Imus comments about the young ladies from Rutgers, I vowed never to refer to Secretary Rice that way again.
Fuzzy eyeball-This is an evil look or a hard stare.

That's just some of the fieldisms that I like to use. You will find that the regulars to the fields also bring their own unique words and expressions here as well. Pistolvania, and republi-klans comes to mind) I really can't help you with those. But I will say that they are usually pretty good.

**I want to thank James Collier over at Acting White blog for that illustration of the field. My man has some skills.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for unraveling your fieldisms Field.
OT: Will we ever get a peep of the "frontal" you, the upper parts?

rikyrah said...

Hello FN.

It's always good to see instructional posts...I clicked on 12% - you crack me up. Crack me up.

I was shocked at seeing Dr. Rice on the FNOTD Blog..but, I understand. I, too, was thrown for a loop when I read that story in the Washington Times.

Why oh why does she do this? Hint to us that she gets it?

Unknown said...

Yo Cuz ... u know your shyt is good when you have to create a separate post just to define the terms (smile)...

peace, Villager

field negro said...

Villager, I have seen some Villageisms as well :)

Yes rikyrah, everyone can come around to FN status.

singaposreswim...I was going to say something,. but to answer your question, yes, maybe one day.

And I left out two fieldisms which I think I will add. (Ohhh those e-mails)

Ann Brock said...

Thanks Field for informing the uninformed about Your language in the field.

Christopher said...

I consider myself a Field Negro in spirit -- if such a thing is possible. Ask any white gay man who knows the words to, and sings Aretha's Ain't No Way or Nina Simone's Baltimore and you get the picture. There's always been some kind of spiritual connection between gay men and black women. I don't begin to understand it. I just accept and enjoy it. Maybe that makes us Patio Gays?

A (Parisian) Seattleite back in Seattle said...

Thanks for the explanations. I had to laugh at the 12% rule.

Anonymous said...

You left out my favorite, WTF or more appropriately, WTF!

Being a fellow dyslexic I would like to design a bumper sticker for us poor confused persons that reads Dyslexics of the World Untie.

Anonymous said...

singaporeswim, 1:01 AM, deh Field-Negro is almost as good looking as I am:

Raised in the house, but field certified.

excepting, I do not wear a mustache; for we all know what that means. Wink, wink.

Anonymous said...

You haven't used Patio Negro in a minute, man. I'm feeling that one, and you know we got a few of those ...

Kellybelle said...

Very informative! Thanks

Anonymous said...

Thanks for explaining your fieldism. I particularly like the 12%, although I have to say that it has reached the live concert and theater arena. I went to see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and do not understand why anyone would pay $100 to see a play and behave as if they at a ball game. One woman left her seat to answer her phone in the middle of production, and a man started an argument during Terrance Howard's monologue. Now I came to see Terrance and the rest of the cast, not hear to some loud mouth does not know theater protocol to keep silent during the performance. When will people realize that you behave differently in public than in private.

I remember a couple of years ago, I took my nephew, niece, and there cousin to the American Museum of Natural History. I have to say that there pretty well-behaved kids, well at least with me. As I we returned home on the train, a white woman turned to me to tell me how well-behaved they were. I had mixed feelings about her statement as it nice to hear that your children are well-behaved, but did not really want to have a white person to me tell me this. Then, you think to yourself that the woman does not believe that black children can be well-mannered because I see white people who's children's behavior is unacceptable in public.

Field, I do not think is some deep pathological issue than we are just damn it rude, we have lost our manners, and selfish in not considering the feelings others around our present. Perhaps finishing school is not a bad idea

field negro said...

gwpriester that is too funny:)Please get me one of those bmupre stikcesr.

Damn Chris you know the words to Baltimore? Well you are a HFN fo real!

Nsangoma I do have a
And if there is a secret stache society that I don't know about,I want in. Wink wink.

And isn't beauty in the eyes of the beholder?

David Sullivan said...

If folks can't figure out your lingo then they shouldn't be reading. Is your white colleague not that bright or am I really just one of the few enlightened white folk? LOL.

Seriously, at times I am dumbfounded at the lack credit that is given to white folk in understanding black folk, but if dude can't even figure out Cuz and Fam then I guess the divide is bigger that I thought.

David Sullivan said...

After reading you for 1/2 a year I finally got aroung to giving you some blog love and added you to my "Must Reads". Congrats!! *smiling sarcastically*

Anonymous said...

Nsangoma I do have a
And if there is a secret stache society that I don't know about,I want in. Wink wink.

field-negro 12:06 PM

Does not the mustache and goatee on a gentleman' face, signal to the ladies that he loves the feel of hair around his mouth?

Hathor said...

I wished our mayor had stayed out of the Obama-Wright fray.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Reverend Wright.

...And I come by here to say that America too is going to Hell,...
Martin Luther King, Jr. addresses strikers in Memphis, Tenn., March 18, 1968

Looks like yah boi Obama is dissin' MLK, too.

Rev. Bob said...

Wrt Sec. Rice, do you suppose a new category (FNWSF -- Field Negro With Suspicious Footwear) might do?

She's lied about so many things, and as our host has already said, even Pat Buchanan tells the truth sometimes.

It's possible she got sick of all the tire tracks from Chimpy throwing her under the bus so many times and said something she really believes, but if we invite her over to the next slumber party, she might say she's got other plans.

Rev. Bob

Lola Gets said...

Im glad that you explained your 12% rule: I had no idea what it was. And Im glad you stopped calling Condie that name...if I had her job (which I never would) Im sure my hair wouldnt look good all the time either, lol.

It looks like Imma have to check out that Times article. I saw the front page pic, but I try to stay away from that Moonie paper.


field negro said...

Okay nsangoma if you put it that way then I am in ;)

Rev. Bob LMAO at FNWSF for Condi.

Anonymous said...


When will people realize that you behave differently in public than in private.

I agree that they should. But things like cell phones aren't helping.

They're only worsening the problem, making it OK to take private and personal...public.

Blinders Off said...

Someone else said it first here that they were a Fieldoholic, after processing it I had to admit I Blinders Off am Fieldoholic which I think many who come to the Fields are. The host, regulars and visitors opinions are a must read in the blogosphere

I suffered a painful two-day withdrawal because my computer was in the shop. My addiction is not a secret, hubby now wants to see what it is like in the Fields...thankfully he is not asking me to go to rehab :)

ZACK said...

I'm a patio negro. *nervous laughter*
My life makes me seem like a field negro because I don't have a job, or any real potential to get out of the hood. But on the other hand, I'm a grad student who speaks proper grammar, so that makes me a house negro sometimes.

Whatever you call me, I am a black man with some crazy opinions! You have yet to comment on my posts, but I know Field, you can't show favoritism. I know.

field negro said...

Zack, comment coming :) I think you are a field Negro and you don't even realize it. Field Negroes, like house Negroes, use proper grammer and believe in education. The difference is that field Negroes don't forget where they came from. You seem to have all that covered.

Blinders off, that was a sweet thing to say. But come on, you know the Field-Aide is not all that strong. I wish I had some of the O-man's ingredients. Hell if I did, we would have a black "Kos" over here.

David, thanks for the love on your site. If I haven't linked you already I will. I try to link everyone who links me. "TRY". I can't get everybody, so if I don't have you, just shoot me an e-mail [],
and I will.

Anonymous said...

Field, thank you for this wonderful post. I knew about the 12% rule, but I had no idea there was a name for it.

For those of you lurking in the fields, a WSF can also be any neighborhood that does not have or want public transportation within a five-mile radius.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Geez, thanks for all that Mr. Field. I feel so. . . well, better informed now. .. . sorta.
The 12% thing in movies? I hear ya, but it's not just talking about stuff, it's talking to the characters on the screen. I mean, ya can't warn the dude on the screen about the terror lurking behind the door, but I hear black people in back of me at the movies doing it all the time.
Wassup with that?
And I thought I was going to get some good pointers over at the site "," but it was all about black people acting white.
Wassup with that?
So yea, ya straightened me out on some things, but at the same time left me even more confused.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

WHAT?! Condi get an entrance into the proud moist comfortable field for saying one thing:? Years and years of horrid behavior evaporates with one sentence?
Well, it's your field.
She best not try stepping out into mine.
Sagacious(outstanding in his field) Hillbilly

La♥audiobooks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
La♥audiobooks said...

"Mrs. Field-That would be the President and CEO of Field Inc."

Maybe that's why some of y'all are so scared to be a Obamaholic. (grin)

This is a cute post field, and it made me laugh. I always enjoy your terms, hey make some more. Well, I guess it makes up for your "strike a pose" thread below.

But I'm still mad at you Mr...

Anonymous said...


I don't have a job, or any real potential to get out of the hood. But on the other hand, I'm a grad student who speaks proper grammar, so that makes me a house negro sometimes.

Zack, I like you.

But this "I don't have a job" mantra is wearing. Look, my friend, "You are what you think all day."

Trust me. I'm not your enemy. Give some thought to a dream that you can dream (believe in) of who and what you desire to be.

Don't try to visualize the head of some corporation, or see yourself as a multi-millionaire, if the thought behind the thought is: Hell, I'm just lying to myself.

Because, that's what you'll get: a lie about yourself.

So dream a dream that you can believe in--really believe can be yours--and then...are you ready?

Drum rolls please:

Claim that which you desire as though it's already a fact.

Claim it with gratitude and joy, and it will be yours if you persist long enough for the new thought to take hold.

Now, if you enjoy the role of "I don't have a job," or any other prospects thing, then that's what you'll continue to manifest.

I know, you think I'm insensitive, or, worse, a busy-body, unless you don't.

At least I took the time to show you how to "overcome."

To have a new reality, you have to have a new thought about the one you have.

It's said that Arnold Schwarzenegger always knew that he would one day be a movie star.

He achieved it, because he believed he would.

It could be said that he believed that one day he would be governor of a state.

A most unlikely candidate, wouldn't you say?

He achieved it, because he believed he would.

Dream a dream that you can dream (believe in), and start down a new road:

I have the job I've always desired.

I'm living where I always wished to live.

Or you can continue down the road you're accustomed to traveling.

Your choice. Life won't try to detour you. It will agree to whatever you will agree to.

ZACK said...

@shinola black:
Wow! Thanks so much! A mini-post dedicated to me. God bless you!

It's going to take time, but God's plan will come to fruition in the fullness of time.

You're right. I repent about complaining about my employment status. I actually LIKE not having a job, because I get to help my family.

Plus, God shall supply ALL our needs according to his riches in glory. A job is only a need if it is supplied by God. Any other time, it is a pointless want.

evole said...

that 12% rule is fucked up, but I'm laughing so hard!!! I'm not too sure it's a fair rule, but I can appreciate it.

Anonymous said...


"It's going to take time, but God's plan will come to fruition in the fullness of time."

It already has, my friend.

You're on the right track, 'cause you've got the right engineer.

Anonymous said...


Could I comment here about your sidebar item on Condeleeza Rice? I don't see that Condi has done anything to deserve your "Field Negro" appelation. She just noted the obvious about American racism. Big deal.

I've always thought that Condeleeza Rice has been a beneficiary of "the soft bigotry of low expectations." This is syndrome where the media take notice that here is a black person who is reasonably educated, together and articulate. All of a sudden he or she is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Never mind that their accomplishments in the overall scheme of things are really not all that notable.

Rice falls into that category. I know she's smart, but her main talent seems to be sucking the right dick at the right time to move herself up the ladder, first Bush Sr. and now the Commander in Chimp himself.

I was sorta floored the day after the Palestinian election when Rice said something like "We were all caught off guard when Hamas won the Palestinian elections." What do you mean, you were ALL caught off guard? It didn't surprise me at ALL, and I'm just a regular Joe who didn't even finish college, just somebody who reads the newspaper everyday and doesn't have the CIA at his disposal.

And SHE is our Secretary of State?

Bob said...

I have a Sunday matinee rule: Never go to a Sunday matinee of anything remotely cultural in South Florida. The retirees come in force and unwrap their candy during the quietest part of the concert, play, or opera. Fortunately, they haven't discovered cell phones yet.

Anonymous said...

Field or anyone else, why do many on the net call HC the Ice Queen and TBQ? Please explain.

Also... Field, are you really dyslexic?

GiGi - The Shy Giraffe said...

finally i won't feel so lost when i read your thanks for the fieldisms breakdown.

field negro said...

bob, thanks for that! Just so that folks know,that we all have our crosses to deal with.

I will never fly to Orlando again on a flight that's over one hour long because of all t he screaming kids.

anon 11:12PM, you make some great points, and believe me, I am no big fan of Condi's politics. I have slammed her time and time again on this blog for her terrible job as Sec. of State.

But just this once I gave her a pass. I guess it's because I am hoping that she will see the light and break away from the frat boy's side. I don't know, maybe I am getting soft. Can we at least let her go to the patio so that we can keep an eye on her :)

Wow whinola black that was deep! Are you a life counselor? I mean it, you are good. Hell, after reading you I started to think about my own life.

I honestly can't tell if zack is being serious though, I sense just a little something there, even though I can't put my finger on it:)

Angela, I started calling her "Ice Queen" after the BJ Monica scandal. She just seems so cold and calculating to me.

And yes, I am dyslexic.

Carl (aka Sofarsogoo) said...

I don't understand the point of promoting even more division among the people by classifying them with slaveholder terms dug up from graves in which they were better left to finish moldering away. I know the "hipper and more militant than thou" feeling has a powerful pull, but more unity, not less, is what is needed. We all came here on the same boat, figuratively speaking, all draped in the rags of the same disaster, and for a long while yet there will be those fervently looking for ways to ship us all back out on the same boat, without distinguishing between field, patio, house, woods, tenement, or any other surroundings.

field negro said...

Carl, I understand how you feel about the seemingly superficial labels. But I have never been able to find a better way to describe the dichotomy (props to Malcolm X) that exists within black A-merry-ca, on how to deal with the problems we have as a race.

"I know the "hipper and more militant than thou" feeling has a powerful pull, but more unity, not less, is what is needed."

I disagree. I think the I am more mainstream than you, look at my nice job and how accepted I am among white folks "feeling" has a more powerful pull. I still don't think it's popular to be honest with people. People don't like to hear the truth about themselves.

I would love to unify with some of these folks, but not on their terms. I will stay in the field all by my lonesome if I have to. ;)

Anonymous said...

I go away for one weekend and you got Condi on the sidebar for some FN shine? Man, I need to stop going away for so long ...

ZACK said...

I was being serious Field! Don't be starting crap Field! LOL!!!!!

Seriously, shinola shut it down. She was strumming my pain with the keyboard, telling my life with her words. Healing me softly with her words, Healing me softly with her words. Healing me softly......with them words.

But Field, he is/ a jokester
who thinks I'm a jester

Starting some stuff with his comments/ Making her think I'm a fony

Starting some stuff with his comments/ Starting some bullsh*t
With his jokes/ Making us all laugh
at his words, Starting some nonsense with his jokes...

Anonymous said...


Are you a life counselor?

Yes. You are perceptive! I don't charge for the service. I give it away.

James C. Collier said...

Field: Thanks. Anytime you want to show the folks your mug, just send me a headshot. I'll have you looking like Denzel - you know, artist license and shit.

Marcy said...

Thanks. Field. Even though I'm one of the cousins, I had some trouble interpreting some of your code words.

BTW: I cosign with you re: Condi.

One last thing: I saw a bumper sticker I think you would appreciate: The end of an error: January 20th, 2009.

Stephen A. Bess said...

I'm diggin' the language. Nice site.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

I'm so good I did a search on 'mr morton'T thanks for providing this rosetta stone of fieldisms.

you gotta might fine blog here. thanks.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

whoops meant "I'm so glad" .... that's what happens when I try and do more than one thing at a time! ...can't say that I've ever been considered 'so good'....

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